Questioning Quinn Fabray
by Free2LoveFree
Summary: Rachel Berry has so many questions after she surprises Quinn, showing up on her doorstep in tears, interrupting her date... with a woman. What caused Rachel to fly across country? And when was Quinn going to tell her she was into women? The answers just may bring fun, fluff, and eventual Faberry (Rating will go up in later chapters)
1. Tears and Confessions

**Well guys, this is my first go at both posting a story to fanfic and to the Glee universe. I won't ask you to go easy on me -I rather be told the truth any day -but please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Right now, this is a one shot, but I have enough ideas floating around that I just might expand on this soon.  
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><p>The sound of urgent knocking at her front door brought Quinn to her feet, a confused look crossing her face as she headed towards the door. She wasn't expecting anyone else tonight so she was understandably shocked to see one of her best friends standing on the other side, tears rolling down her face.<p>

"Rach? What's going on?" Quinn quickly reached for the distraught woman, pulling her into her arms. She leaned out the door and grabbed Rachel's suitcase, dragging both the woman and her bag into the house.

"I… I'm s-sorry. I had, I had to get away. I didn't know what else to go."

"Slow down, Rachel." She held the woman at arm's length, looking her over for any sign of injury. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is someone else hurt?" Rachel shook her head.

"No. God, no. I'm just… lost. Th-they… they c-ca-cancled… oh my god what am I going to do? What am I doing here? I don't even know what I was…" Her sentence was muffled into Quinn's shoulder as she threw herself back into the stunned woman's arms.

"Rae, you have to calm down. I don't understand what you're saying." Quinn was worried. Everyone who knew Rachel Berry knew she was dramatic to a fault, but the way Rachel was sobbing in her arms was more than a little worrisome. She rubbed her friend's back and comforted her as best she could as the little diva clung to her.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel's head snapped up at the sound of another woman's voice. Rachel took in the woman through blurred eyes and from what she could tell she was Hollywood gorgeous with long dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. Rachel's eyes widened.

"I am so sorry. I… I… I should have called." Rachel spun and wiped her eyes quickly. "I'm a mess. I'm sorry Quinn. I didn't expect you'd have company. I'll just… I'm going to find a hotel." She sputtered at high-speed, turning to grab her bag.

"No." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist, pulling her around to face her again. "Rae, you're going to go to my room, take a shower, and relax. I'll join you in a few and you can tell me what possessed you to fly 2,500 miles and show up crying on my doorstep." Quinn's heart broke at the hopeful, yet shattered look that filled two big brown eyes.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked softly, her eyes flickering over Quinn's shoulder to the curious woman standing a few feet behind them.

"I insist," Quinn assured, pulling the small brunette into her arms again, "I know I used to make you cry, but I hate seeing you in tears. Now get. You know the way."

Rachel nodded and wheeled passed the two women; glad that Quinn hadn't tried to introduce them with the state she was in. She gave the woman a small nod as she moved quickly towards Quinn's room. She was thankful that Quinn hadn't turned her away, not knowing where else she would go at the moment. Even after all the years since high school, a part of her always worried that one day it would happen. She shook the thoughts from her head and went to do exactly what her best friend had told her to, smiling to herself as she heard Quinn apologize to her guest. Whoever the woman was, Rachel was happy that she obviously outranked her on Quinn's priority list.

Quinn sighed as she turned around, "I am so sorry about this."

The woman shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. "Was that THE Rachel Berry?"

Quinn couldn't help but smile and feel a bit proud. Her friend, a term she had never thought in high school she'd ever use, had made her dreams come true. She had made it to Broadway and was a huge success, winning two Drama Desk awards, and one Tony award in five years on Broadway. As if that wasn't enough, the little diva had followed in the footsteps of her idols, winning a Grammy for best song written for motion picture. She was already halfway to her EGOT at only 24 years old.

"Yeah, it was."

"Right. Well, I think it's time for me to get going then."

"I am sorry our night got cut short, Jennifer." Quinn sighed. "I didn't know she was coming."

The woman smiled as she shrugged on the jacket Quinn held for her. "It's fine, Quinn, really. If Rachel Berry had shown up on my doorstep, I probably wouldn't even apologize before kicking you out."

Quinn laughed as she ran her hand through her hair. "Yeah, well, she can be quite... overpowering."

"Hmmm I'm sure. Though, she could over power me anytime." The woman laughed and Quinn tried not to cringe. "Thank you for supper." Jennifer smiled as she laid her hand on Quinn's forearm and lifted herself up, brushing her lips against the taller woman's check. "Give me a call if you'd like to do it again sometime. Maybe we'll actually get to eat the next time."

Quinn shook her head after she saw the woman out and turned towards the dining room knowing she had a bit of time before Rachel emerged from the shower. She wasn't overly upset that Rachel had interrupted the night; actually, if she was honest with herself, she was almost thankful, though she was a little more than curious, and somewhat worried, about why the brunette dynamo had shown up in the state she was. Rachel had assured that no one was hurt or dying, but with Rachel, there could be a million other things, from a broken heart, to a broken nail, that would cause tears to fall. Quinn quickly cleaned up the leftovers from her unfinished meal, wanting to check on her friend as soon as she could. She was surprised when she walked into the room a few minutes later to see Rachel already sitting against her headboard, hair wet and curling around her shoulders, with dried tear tracks on her face.

"Hey."

"Hello, Quinn. I want to apologize again for disturbing you and ruining your evening." Rachel swallowed hard at the glare sent her way; very much reminiscent of the look she received many times when they were younger.

"Rachel, you can stop apologizing. And you can start explaining." Quinn held up a finger. "After I get comfortable." Quinn moved to her large, walk-in closet and slipped out of her shoes and dress. "I'm surprised you only came with one bag," she teased, eyeing the suitcase that now sat on her vanity chair in the closet. She dug through a set of drawers, pulling out an old worn down set of Cheerio running shorts and a random shirt.

"Yes, well, this trip was somewhat out of character and I have to admit that I might have been hasty when I decided to come see you. I just…" Quinn heard a sniffle coming from her bed, "I just had to get out of that city. I didn't want to go home. I know my… I know my dads would have… they would have pitied me and suffocated me. And… and…" Quinn rushed from her closet, quickly pulling down her tank top as she made it across the room, dragging the sobbing diva into her arms.

"Breath, Rach. You need to breathe." Quinn continued to rock and whisper to the woman in her arms, trying to get her to calm down. She didn't know what was going on but she knew it was big. Yes, Rachel knew how to turn on the waterworks, but this was getting to be a bit much even for Rachel. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but it had taken a while before she was able to get the brunette finally calmed down. The two of them had stretched out but Quinn refused to let go of Rachel and Rachel needed the closeness. They quietly laid beside each other, Rachel's head against her chest, her arm draped across Quinn's waist. Quinn squeezed her arms, hugging her friend tightly to her.

"Rae?" Quinn didn't want to push her, but she needed to know what was going on.

"I…" Rachel's voice cracked. "Brian was cheating on me."

"Oh Rach, not again."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't get it. Am I not good enough?"

"Rae, you are too good. For all of them." She held Rachel tighter, wanting her to believe. "Now, what else happened?"

Rachel groaned and buried her face into Quinn's shoulder, her words muffled against her skin. "What do you mean?"

Quinn rubbed her hand up and down Rachel's back. "This might have warranted a sob fest over the phone, or even a Facetime call, but an impromptu flight across the country? When you just started a show? Come on Rae."

"My show was closed."

Quinn's heart dropped. "You JUST opened."

Quinn felt tears soaking her shoulder as she pulled Rachel tighter to her side. "Three official performances! Three. That's all they gave us Quinn!" Rachel choked on her tears, letting her friend comfort her with presence. "We went down like _Glory Days_. Like _The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All_." Rachel sniffed. "Thankfully they're blaming our producer and director but... we had three official performances. Do you know what this is going to do to my career? I'm going to be the laughing-stock of Broadway!"

"Come on Rae, you know that isn't true."

Rachel shrugged. She knew it wasn't, but right now her heart was breaking and it felt like her world was crashing down around her. First her lying, cheating boyfriend dumped her. And the next day, the show she'd put so much time and effort into, even if it wasn't the best show ever, was yanked from beneath her.

"What happened?"

"Our director happened. The story was good. I sent you the script before I accepted it. Even you said that it seemed like it could go somewhere. The producers didn't promote nearly as much as they should have, but even so, we could have started slow. The rest of the cast was decent, not to my caliber, but good enough. The stage and costumes worked well. But the direction was... it was… Mr. Shue did a better job!" Rachel exclaimed throwing her free arm in the air dramatically.

Quinn chuckled. Only Rachel could pull off such a verbose description while crying, and dramatically emasculating their former coach, all in one breath. "I'll be the first to admit there is no way we would have won sectionals, much less Nationals, if it hadn't been for you as our Captain. God knows I love Mr. Shue but yeah, he kind of sucked."

"I wouldn't go that far, Quinn, but he did lack direction. And focus. And was constantly late. And allowed way too much drama to ensue. And had the most unhealthy obsession with 90s rap."

Quinn laughed, hugging Rachel to her again. "I've missed you."

Rachel sighed. "Me too."

"I'm sorry about your show Rae. But I'm sure it won't affect your career as bad as you think."

"I hope you're right." She knew that she was, but it just hurt.

"What are you going to do now?"

Rachel shrugged as best as she could without moving from her comfortable perch. "I already have another show lined up if I want it."

"If?" Quinn prodded, honestly surprised. Her and Rachel talked on a regular basis, and as much as she knew Rachel was getting tired of the demanding schedule that came with a Broadway career, she never expected her to think about turning down a roll.

"I have been doing eight shows a week, fifty weeks a year, for four years with only a short rehearsal time between shows. I think I need a break from the stage. I can't take another heartbreak like yesterday. Not right now. My agent is hunting down some possible TV guest spots."

"Working on your EGOT again?" Quinn felt Rachel smile into her shoulder.

"When am I not?"

"You're halfway there, Rae. You'll get there soon enough."

The two women fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. If anyone would have told them six or seven years ago they'd be able to lay in each other's arms, comforting each other, able to talk about anything, to call each other, or show up on one another's doorstep unannounced and be welcomed with open arms, they probably wouldn't even have laughed. They would have looked at you like you'd grown two heads, lost your mind, and needed a padded room. Yet, the last five years brought them closer than they'd ever expected.

"Quinn?" Rachel's soft voice broke Quinn from her thoughts.

"Rae?"

"There was a woman here."

Quinn smiled. She had wondered how long it would take Rachel to bring that up. "Yes, there was."

Rachel thought about the dinner she'd seen as she passed the dining room. It was obvious Quinn had created an intimate atmosphere for the two of them. "You were on a date." It was a statement, not a question, though Rachel felt it should be, but she was too tired to be confused.

"Yes, I was."

"With a woman." Rachel said calmly.

"I think we established that she was a woman, yes."

"Quinn. You were on a date with a woman."

Quinn tried hard not to laugh. It shocked her that Rachel was so nonplussed by that fact. God knows she wasn't when the thought first crossed her mind. "Yes, Rae, I was on a date with a woman. Is that a problem?"

That finally motivated Rachel to move. She had to look at her friend, to see if she was serious, because this was seriously starting to throw Rachel for a loop. She sat up and leaned on her elbow, looking down at her friend, who looked back at her, mildly amused.

"Quinn Fabray, ex-head cheerleader, one time President of the Celibacy Club, devout Christian, who only dated the most popular and hottest guys in high school, Quinn Fabray was on a date with a woman! And this is not a big deal?"

Quinn finally let out the laugh she'd been holding in. Rachel huffed and dropped herself back down on to her friend's chest. "It makes complete sense now."

Quinn snickered, getting herself back under control, wondering what Rachel was getting at. "Wh-what do you mean?" She asked through her giggles.

"It's obvious. A stage light fell, crashing into my fragile form, flinging me off stage, where I obviously hit my head and ended up in a coma. This is all a coma dream, another world my injured brain has created, where shows that I star in get cancelled, and my best friend starts dating women out of the blue."

Rachel huffed again as her human pillow shook with unconstrained laughter. "Oh my god, Rachel, that was…" Quinn struggled to catch her breath as she continued to laugh. "Sometimes I… I forget… how over the top… you can be."

Rachel growled as she rolled away from her laughing companion.

"Aww, geez, come on Rae. You know I was just teasing." Quinn pulled Rachel onto her back. "And is really that shocking? I mean, my two best friends in high school were completely gay for each other. I love your dads like my own. No, scratch that, way more than my own. Kurt and I became closer over the years. We work in an industry surrounded by out and proud homosexuals. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't restrict yourself to one gender if someone you were interested crossed your path. Is it that surprising that I wouldn't?"

Rachel breathed out slowly and uncrossed her arms. "No, you're right, I wouldn't restrict myself due to someone's gender. It's just… I guess it's just unexpected. I know we never discussed our orientation, but I, well, I assumed." She held up a hand, "And yes, before you continue, I know what it means when you assume something."

Quinn smiled and lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "It was unexpected for me too. I just realized there was no point in limiting myself. Once I got away from the high school scene and my parents' need to control everything, I realized there was no point. They pretty much stopped talking to me again once I started dating Puck and I knew that it was time to start living for me."

Rachel turned her head and took in her friend's profile. "We had discussed all of that after Noah and you realized you were going two different directions in life. All except this obvious epiphany about your orientation."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "I guess at the time, it wasn't something to talk about. I recognized it was there, but I wasn't ready to openly accept it. Funny enough, it was actually Puck that helped me realize I was open to more than just men in my life."

Rachel blinked a few times and bit her lip. She didn't want to pressure Quinn, but she really wanted to know. Was she gay? Bi? Pan? How did she come to this realization? Was Quinn gay in high school? What kind of person was she attracted to? How many people had she dated? Or slept with? That made Rachel squirm a bit and she wondered why. She was sure it was all the questions that she was respectfully trying to keep in. She knew how hard it was to come to terms with your sexuality, and for someone like Quinn it had to be even more so.

Quinn turned to look at the darker woman lying next to her and watched the struggle play out on her face. She had to admit, she was rather impressed. High school Rachel would have already blurted out a million questions. Quinn sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "I can tell you're dying to ask and I will give you all the answers you want, but first I need food, and probably a few glasses of wine."

"Oh, Quinn, you hadn't even eaten yet?" When the blonde shook her head she sat up. "Of course. I can be so dense some times. I interrupted your meal. Your date! Oh my god, Quinn, I am so, so sorry."

"Don't you start that again, just come help me heat up everything."

Once the two were settled on Quinn's overstuffed couch, each with a plate of food and a full glass of wine, Quinn gestured for Rachel to begin. "You've been patient. Ask away." Quinn said as she brought a fork full of pasta to her lips.

"So Noah? How did Noah help you come to this realization?"

Quinn nodded and took a sip of her wine. "Puck is, was, and always will be a horn dog. Even though he's a committed horn dog, he's still a horn dog. With a rather extensive porn collection."

Rachel snorted. "Not surprising."

"No. Anyway, one night, we'd had a few too many drinks and after… after Beth…" Quinn sighed, still not able to say her daughter's name with out her voice catching, "Puck knew I didn't put out when drinking. So that night, he asked if I would be ok with him putting in one of his DVDs so he could, uh, give himself a helping hand." Rachel chuckled into her glass as Quinn turned as red as her old Cheerios uniform. Quinn rolled her eyes and continued. "We're sitting there, drunk off our asses, watching these two girls on-screen getting hot and heavy. And Rae, I swear if you tell Santana any of this I will never talk to you again, but I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my entire life.

Rachel arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "It is perfectly natural to become aroused by watching the copulation of two individuals, especially when your inhibitions are lowered due to alcohol consumption."

Quinn nodded and shrugged a shoulder as she swallowed the bite she'd just taken. "I get that, but it was more than that. I mean, ok, we both know I slept with Santana. And she was good. But I just shrugged it off as drunken fun, we were both looking for someone to fill a void. I just figured it wasn't my thing. Yeah, I got off, but it wasn't the be all, end all."

"Maybe it was because of your previous relationship with her."

Quinn shrugged. "Looking back, I think that's probably pretty close to the truth. We had a weird history, and she was in love with Brittany. " Quinn shrugged. "Anyway, so I was sitting there with Puck, watching this surprisingly well made porn, and I was more turned on than I had been with any of the people I'd ever slept with –granted that number was very, very small. I just figured it hadn't been good for a while, and tried to play it off as just being the alcohol."

"Understandable, especially if you were in denial."

"That's the funny part. It really wasn't that big of deal. But I couldn't I couldn't get what I had watched out of my head. I mean, yeah, I'd seen Santana and Britt all over each other, but not like that. And every time I thought about it, I got so hot. I was beginning to wonder if I had turned into a female Puck. Every woman I saw made me wonder how soft they were, what they would feel like, how they would taste. And other than thinking I was losing my mind, I was okay with it. Other than I was in a constant state of arousal."

Rachel was surprised. If she had ever contemplated Quinn being even slightly homosexual, she was sure that she would have freaked out over the realization. Though, in hindsight, there was the whole night with Santana. She waited for Quinn to refill both of their glasses before the blonde continued her story.

"So after a few days, I needed some relief. I didn't want Puck and he was supposed to be working late anyway. So since he would be gone for a while, I decided to pop in the DVD and… yeah…. well Puck walked in."

"While you were masturbating to…"

"God, do you have to say that word?" Quinn downed her drink, knowing her cheeks were flaming red, but she decided to power on anyway. "But yes. To lesbian porn. He actually sat down with me and asked what it all meant and if I was okay with it. And of course, he encouraged me to pursue it. Told me he didn't even have to watch, not that he would ever say no to that either. Really, I was honestly surprised that he was barely even a pig about it. "

"I'm impressed."

"So was I. I never did, pursue it that is, at the time anyway. It did start me thinking and Puck and I talked about it a lot. We were getting to the point in our relationship where we realized we were more like friends than we were lovers, so it felt natural and okay. But, it still took me a long time. To be okay with it all."

"And are you now?"

Quinn bobbed her head from side to side, not quite nodding but not shaking her head either. "Mostly. I don't want to label myself or go walk in the next Pride parade swinging a big rainbow flag, but I'm okay with being me, with accepting that I can be attracted to more than just men. Being out here in L.A. I guess made it easier. "

Rachel bit her lip as she pondered her next question. Or questions. She still had so many but even if the woman she was asking was now one of her best friends, she knew some of them might be over the line.

Quinn smiled. "Ask Rae. I won't bite. And I don't have to answer if I don't want to. I'm a big girl. I promise."

Rachel nodded, not even surprised that Quinn could read her. Even though Rachel was a seasoned actress, she still wore her thoughts and her emotions on her face more often than not. "So you said 'attracted to more than just men'. Does that mean you are bisexual? Have you gone on many dates? With women I mean? Have you slept with any? Wait. Never mind. I don't want to know. Does your family know? You said not to tell Santana so does that mean her and Brittany don't know? Oh and that brings me to high school. Do you think that your subconscious desires is what caused so many issues in high school? I mean that would explain a lot wouldn't it? Head cheerleader, expected to date the Captain of the football team, yet secretly denying her inner lesbian tendencies, leading to her lashing out at every attractive and talented female in school!"

Quinn burst out laughing. It was funny how she seemed to laugh more around Rachel than anyone else. She was just so over the top that Quinn couldn't seem to help herself. "Rae! Rachel! Stop. Just… stop!" Quinn laughed. She remembered once upon a time when this part of Rachel would piss her off. Now, she couldn't help but find it funny.

"I am NOT a Lifetime afterschool special! I'm just me! God, where do you get this stuff?" Rachel sat and watched her friend laugh, patiently waiting for her questions to be answered. "Ok, fine. I did say I'd answer if I could, I just didn't expect a dozen questions at once."

"That is an immense exaggeration. It was only four questions."

"More like half a dozen. Blurted out at top speed. Along with a well written, hiding in the closet, coming out story! That I'm sure you already have choreographed and put to song in your head."

Rachel crossed her arms unimpressed and did her best to glare at her still giggling friend.

Quinn smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm not bi, I'd say more pansexual than anything but I don't like to label myself. I find the whole package attractive, not specifically the gender. I have gone of seven dates with women, not including tonight, which, before you apologize, I want to actually thank you for interrupting. There was no chemistry there and it was just starting to get to the point where it was becoming strained. I have not told my parents, as you know we only talk on holidays and birthdays, and it is not something that would come up in conversation." Quinn ticked off each question on her hand as she went. "No, Brittania does not know, not that I really care one way or another, nor would they. Annnddd," Quinn took a deep breath, drawing out the word, "I guess if I was being honest and really thought about it, which I hadn't before, Santana always gave me shit for my bathroom drawings and name calling, so your theory might have a kernel of truth to it."

"See! I knew it! You were attracted to me, weren't you?" Rachel asked, clamoring onto her knees on the couch.

Quinn laughed and pushed Rachel away from her and laughed as the actress fell dramatically back on the couch. "Brat!"

"Takes one to know one!" Rachel quipped back with a smile. She scrambled up and scooted back against the arm of the couch. "Ok, so one more question. Wait, make that two."

Quinn nodded for her to continue as she gathered up their plates and cups. "Shoot."

"One: Would you mind if I slept in your room with you tonight?" Rachel asked, rising to help clean up their impromptu supper. "Thanks to the good company, food, and wine, I am feeling much more relaxed, but I don't think I am quite ready to be alone with my thoughts and doubts as of yet."

"Of course, Rae. Not like we haven't fallen asleep in the same bed before. I'll even let you snuggle up to me before we go to sleep instead of waking up in your octopus grip in the middle of the night."

"It's not my fault. I'm a natural cuddler and you emit a great deal of body heat that I can't help but be drawn to."

Quinn laughed lightly as she placed their dishes into the washer. "It's fine, Rae. And your second question?"

"How would you mind a roommate for a while?"

Quinn turned and leaned against the counter behind her. "You're staying in L.A.?"

Rachel shrugged. "I guess for a little while. I was serious when I said that Tina was scouting for a few guest rolls. L.A. has stronger shows that New York does currently so it would be more practical to stay in the area. I could look into getting a condo or just rent out a suite…"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Quinn interrupted. "My family stays with me when they're in town. And you are part of that family." Quinn watched as tears filled Rachel's brown eyes and felt her heart grow just a little bit more, knowing she had more than made up for their past. "So you're staying. On three conditions."

Rachel's smile faded. "I will be willing to negotiate."

"One: I love you. I love music. I love show tunes. But I cannot listen to them, watch them, or discuss them on a daily basis. The guest room has a rather large TV, and Bluetooth headphones. If you must watch them, on repeat, please utilize both."

Rachel smiled shyly. "I think I can handle that. And I'll have you know, that my musical repertoire consists of more than just musicals."

"Duly noted. Two: I don't have a maid so you will be required to help with the chores. And you'll be responsible for your own vegan cuisine. I've become a decent cook but that is still over my head."

"Actually, I've recently downgraded to vegetarian. Don't ask, it's a long story, but I can handle that stipulation and I enjoy cooking so I don't mind cooking meals for both of us."

"We can switch off then on the nights that we're both in. My schedule is a bit sporadic at the moment but we can figure that all out later."

"Ok. And number three?"

"Number three is a three parter. As long as you are here, I need my best friend time. I don't get to see S and B very often, lately I barely get to talk to Kurt. I need Rachel time. So even if we're both overwhelmingly busy, there must be two lunches, one dinner, and one movie night every week. No excuses."

"Three parts? So lunches, dinner, and movie night?" She smiled as Quinn nodded. "And here I thought you were going to ask for my first born child. We'll merge our schedules tomorrow so that way we can utilize our time and coordinate our scheduling." Rachel rolled her eyes at the amused look on Quinn's face. "Yes, I still do that. Be happy I no longer use kitten calendars."

Quinn chuckled and pulled her friend into a hug. "Never change Rae. Never change.


	2. Dates and Surprises

**So I've decided to continue this little saga. I'm going to try to put up a chapter or two a week. I haven't figured out a schedule yet, but I have a rough idea of where this is going. We're looking at a slow burn Faberry story filled with lots of fluff, fun, lightheartedness, and dialogue (because that's what I'm good at) and maybe a little bit of angst along the line but not too much. **

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><p>Rachel had been staying with Quinn for almost three months and honestly was surprised how smoothly it was going. God knew it had been a fight and a half living with Kurt and Santana. Granted, they lived in a hovel compared to Quinn's ocean side condo but it was more than just the space. Rachel never felt the stress she did with any of her previous roommates. Rachel and Quinn just seemed to mesh. They learned each other's routines, often cooking for each other and doing one another's laundry when the other was having a long week. Some times movie nights were curled up on the couch, and other nights Quinn would drag Rachel out to a movie premier. It didn't matter as long as they got to hang out. Rachel realized what she had missed out on her entire childhood as they stayed up late some nights, drinking wine, catching up on their days, even going as far as doing each other's nails like they were in middle school. She knew they were good friends before she temporarily moved in, but she enjoyed getting closer to Quinn, getting see a little more of the woman who hid behind so many walls.<p>

Her favorite part though was dinner nights. Quinn loved food, be it cooking it, or eating it. And while Rachel still revolted at the massive amounts of bacon the woman consumed, she had to admit Quinn was a talented chef. As much as they both enjoyed cooking together, some times they were just too busy but they both tried as best as they could to make their weekly lunch and dinner quota. Rachel had even started going as far as stopping by the set of Quinn's hit TV show to force her to have their dinners together when the blonde couldn't get away.

"So I have one more day of shooting Dr. Kildare and then two more series lined up." Rachel said as she leaned over and snagged a spring roll from Quinn.

"Hey! That's mine." Quinn grumbled good-naturedly around a mouthful of food. "How long will those tapings run?"

"Two months off and on between the two I believe. And I have a few auditions lined up for those movies I told you about last week. I'm really hoping to land the Gypsy roll. Could you imagine? Getting to work with my idol? To have her be my show business mother? Learning first hand from the great Babs herself?"

"Just don't drool over her and you should be fine. Seriously, they'd be insane not to cast you. You're perfect for the role! I mean it's Stephan Sondheim. You were born to sing his music."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've lost role I was born to do. I'm debating singing _Everything's Coming up Roses._ Do you think that would be too much?"

Quinn grimaced and shook her head. "Kurt was right the first time around, don't so Streisand. Everyone's going to be doing Streisand songs. Go original. You're good at that. Or at least much improved over high school." Quinn laughed, remember standing by the piano, pushing Rachel to follow her dreams. The stubborn diva hadn't listened to her at the time, but Rachel finally did what she was born to do. She became a star.

"Hey!" Rachel laughed too, pushing her friend's should from across the table. "Just much improved? I won a freakin' Grammy with that talent, thank you very much!"

Quinn softened and smiled. "I know you did. And you deserved it. You've made your dreams come true."

"I had something to prove."

Quinn shook her head. "No, you didn't. We all knew you were going to be a star." Quinn held back a sigh as Rachel just shrugged. She knew there would always be the hidden scars, some she helped inflict herself, lying beneath Rachel's thick skin. She hid it so well in high school, but Quinn knew her now, really knew her, and some days she could see the scars more than others. As much as they'd moved passed it, it was something Quinn would never forgive herself for. She cleared her throat knowing bringing up those hurts wouldn't do any good for either of them.

"So, thank you for bringing me supper. I'm sorry I missed our date a few days ago." Quinn stopped when she realized what she had just said. "I meant, our, our scheduled dinner."

Rachel just waved her off, distracted. "I was thinking I should start looking for my own place."

Quinn sat back, feeling like she'd just been punched in the chest, wondering where this conversation came from. How did they transition from movie roles to Rachel leaving in a few sentences? Quinn swallowed hard. Did she make Rachel uncomfortable? Nothing had seemed to change between them after Rachel found out about Quinn's sexuality, but maybe Rach thought she wanted more? Quinn just stared at her friend, dumbfounded, but unable to think of any other reason that Rachel would want to leave. Quinn shook her head sadly. It would make sense. Of course she'd want to leave, she always made everyone leave, she should be used to it by now.

"You –you want to move out? Because of what I just said?" Quinn asked, unable to keep the shock and hurt from her voice.

Rachel's eyes snapped up, catching the pain in the two hazel ones looking at her in confusion. "I'm sorry? What are you talking about?"

"I called our dinner a date?" Quinn asked, confused. "Did that offend you or…"

"Of course not, Quinn." She hesitated as she cocked her head to the side. "Really, if that's the easiest way to characterize our get togethers, by all means. They are basically a platonic date. Call them whatever you like." Rachel said simply, like it was no big deal to her one way or the other. Honestly, it really wasn't.

Quinn shrugged, still fighting off the hurt. "I love hanging out with my best friend." She knew she sounded small and pathetic, but she really didn't want to be alone again.

Rachel smiled and reached for hand, holding it in her own. "So do I. Call it whatever you like. It's not a big deal." To prove her point she gave Quinn's hand one last squeeze before snagging another one of her friend's spring rolls.

"Ok-ay." Quinn drew out the word, more relieved, but still just as confused. She honestly enjoyed having Rachel around. They got along so well, such a huge contrast to how they were in high school. Living so far away from everyone she cared for was difficult, and she had so few true friends on the West Coast. It was hard finding someone real in Hollywood, someone who wasn't putting up a front, or trying to get a leg up in the industry. It was nice having someone who knew pretty much everything about you and still cared for you regardless. No games. No pretenses. Just a strong bond and a great friendship. "So if that isn't it, why do you want to move out?"

Rachel shrugged as she looked down at the small table. "It's not that I _want_ to. I just… I figured you'd want your space back soon and seeing as it looks like I'm going to be on the west coast for a while, I just thought..."

"No, you assumed." Quinn grinned, trying to quell both of their doubts. Rachel didn't want to leave, she felt like she was obligated to. Quinn felt her smile grow into a full grown, ear to ear grin as she reached over and snagged a piece of broccoli from Rachel's plate. "And we've covered why you shouldn't do that."

"Right. So is this your way of telling me you don't want me to move?" She teased back, leaning over the table, smiling.

"This is my way of telling you I'll support your decision either way. If you decide to move, I'll help you look for a place, and make sure you don't get completely screwed by some money hungry, wanna be actor, waiting on his big break." It was Quinn's turn to reach for her friend's hand. "But, if you want to stay, we can go shopping, redecorate. Maybe even have some of your stuff shipped over to make it feel a little more like home. Your choice, but I would love for you to stay." She gave Rachel her patented Quinn-Fabray-smirk as she leaned back, "Besides, I've finally gotten you trained. Who else is going to make sure I have clean clothes and don't sleep through my alarm?"

"I see how it is. You're just using me for my vast array of talents."

Quinn was getting ready to respond when the PA banged on the door to tell her they were ready to start shooting again. Quinn sighed. "We will talk about this later. But think about it. I wont be back until late tonight and we have an early morning cast meeting so I probably won't see you for a few days. But let's do lunch sometime this week? Just send me your schedule k?"

Rachel smiled to herself as she watched her friend walk out the door. "You'll see me much sooner than that."

* * *

><p>Quinn rubbed her tired eyes as she slumped down in her chair. She hated read-throughs and to make things worse, the cast didn't even get the script in advance like normal. Some hush-hush, surprise, big guest star and a huge plot twist that they didn't want leaked. She'd heard around set that everyone's confidentiality agreements had been updated, though she hadn't saw her own yet. She was sure their producer, Shara Mitcheson, would get to it before the end of the day.<p>

"Yo, Fabray, you look like something the cat dragged in." Quinn rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Shove it Paden. We were on set until 2:15 this morning, I didn't get in bed until almost 4, and I had to be up at 6 to get here. I'm awake, semi-coherent, and haven't killed anyone yet. Don't talk to me." Quinn really didn't mind her cast mate. In fact, they usually got along pretty well. April Paden was like some weird combination of Santana and Brittany, a combination of snark and innocence that only the redhead could pull off.

"Snippy. You need to get laid."

"Yeah, well, there's that too."

"You know if you stopped dating your roommate, you might actually be able to get to have some sexy times."

Quinn rolled her eyes. It was official; she was back in high school. Quinn dropped her head to the table and groaned. It wasn't even worth the effort to argue with the woman. They'd just end up going round in circles, with Paden teasing her about the way Rachel would come to set every other week to share dinner with her.

"Aww, come on, it's cute!"

"Seriously, fuck off April."

Quinn jumped when a script landed heavily beside her head. She looked around the room, realizing she must have dozed off.

"Welcome to the land of the living Fabray." She glared up at their producer as the PA moved around the room, handing out scripts. "Alright folks, if we could get started?" Shara called everyone to attention. "As you know, sweeps week is right around the corner and we need to start getting ready. Our ratings have been steady but the higher ups are hoping to boost our numbers this fall. As such, they're calling in the big guns. We have two rather big name guest spots for our next arc. Raymond Luke Jr. will join the cast as a teenage runaway. He'll be on set in two weeks. Our second guest is someone I'm sure you've all seen around set lately, but she seems to be running late today. We'll go ahead and start with a quick rundown of the current case and then begin the read through. Hopefully by then our missing star will show up."

Twenty-five minutes later Quinn had given up caring who was supposed to be coming and was just trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. She was trying to pay attention but she just really wanted to sleep. Seriously, whose brilliant flippin' idea it was to schedule after a late night shoot? Granted, it wasn't supposed to go as late as it had, but one of the newest cast members to their ensemble repeatedly missed his mark or forgot his lines. Quinn glared over at the young man whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember at the moment as the door swung open and a familiar, frazzled looking woman floated through. "I'm sorry I'm late. Apparently traffic is a lot worse than I expected it would be and the barista messed up my soy latte twice."

"Rae?" Quinn stared as her best friend's presence filled the room, wondering what the woman was doing there… and then it hit her. Quinn's jaw dropped in shock. How did she not know about this? If her sleep-addled brain was working properly she may have figured it out sooner. _THAT_ was what her boss meant when she said everyone had probably seen the guest around set. Rachel had been by set more than a few times in the weeks she had been staying with Quinn. Why hadn't anyone told her that she was going to be on Quinn's show? It was the only reasonable explanation of why she was here. It was only moments later when her suspicions were confirmed.

"For those of you who have been living under a rock the last few years, please allow me to introduce our special guest, Tony-winning, Broadway superstar, Rachel Berry."

It was official. She was going to kill Rachel. She glared at the small woman as their producer ranted on. She was sure that Shara was filling in everyone on Rachel's background, how she'd bring a new set of viewers, blah, blah, blah. She couldn't bother to listen, she was too pissed. Or hurt. Or just fuckin' surprised. She felt like the girl whose boyfriend was stole from her in high school, the girl whose parents had kicked her out, the girl whose friends all turned their back on her. She was just utterly confused and couldn't make heads or tails of what she was thinking or why. Quinn growled internally. Or not so internally she figured as she heard April snort and mumbled something about getting laid. She flipped off the actress as the woman stood and smiled at Rachel, moving two seats down to make room for her. Rachel thanked her as dropped her bags into one of the two empty seats, and herself into the other, placing a cup of coffee in front of Quinn in the process.

Okay, maybe she wasn't going to kill her, just maim her a little bit. "Oh thank heaven." Quinn groaned as she pulled the lid from the cup and inhaled deeply. Or marry her. Quinn couldn't decide. "You," Quinn paused to take a drink, "are an angel."

"So if everyone could please welcome Ms. Rachel Berry." Shana's voice brought her back to the room at large. Her cast makes clapped as Rachel smiled at each one of them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Quinn whispered loudly over the applause.

"Confidentiality agreement." Rachel whispered back. "And I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, guess what? It worked. Consider me surprised." She tried to keep the bite out of her tone, but apparently lack of sleep, and according to April, lack of sex, caused her filter to fail her. She watched as Rachel's face fell and wanted to kick herself.

"I'm sorry Quinn. I really wanted to tell you but I wasn't allowed to."

Quinn sighed. She knew it wasn't like Rachel to keep something from her and she knew how their contracts worked. Even if she was completely blindsided, she had to admit it wouldn't be too horrible to work with Rachel again. Yes, she still talked a lot, and thought she knew better than everyone else; but she also had such a passion that Quinn couldn't help but admire, even when they were at each other's throats in high school. She laid her hand on Rachel's knee. "I get it. Really, it's fine Rae."

The smile that filled Rachel's face was worth it. She laughed as Rachel did a happy dance in her chair. "We get to work together!"

The rest of the cast hid their smiles as the little diva squealed and hugged Quinn's arm. Quinn was generally a nice person, but she could always be a little hard and cold at times. She kept a wall between her and anyone else most of the time, so they all got a kick of seeing her soften a little bit around the vivacious brunette. They all agreed that while the rest of the morning dragged on, it was just a bit more bearable for everyone in the room thanks to Rachel, and in turn Quinn, keeping everyone entertained. More than once Rachel randomly broke out into song, delighting everyone.

"As much as we love your singing Ms. Berry, we have three more scenes to get through today." Shara laughed from the front of the room. "Now, does everyone understand where we're going with this?" Everyone around the room nodded but Quinn. "Alright Fabray, what are you missing?"

"I guess, it just seems like Detective Riya is getting very close to a character that will only be around briefly." Quinn worried about what it would do to her character. She could do angst if she had to, she'd lived through enough of it in her lifetime, but it wasn't her forte. She liked getting the laughs and pushing through the drama, which made the show perfect for her. It was why she had such success with it. Critics heralded it as a "_30 Rock_ meets _Cagney and Lacey_." She could have come up with a better description but it seemed to work. They walked the fine line between a serious police drama and an off-the-wall comedy well. While she hated thinking it, she was a little worried that the often serious and over-the-top Rachel Berry might destroy the balance.

"Actually, Berry has already signed on for four episodes with the option to extend her contract at a later date. More than enough time to adequately flush out the relationship between the two characters."

Quinn looked at the diva next to her, surprised. "Really?"

"Quinn, I am positive that you and I had a conversation where I informed you of my intent to do guest appearances. I have done two so far, but none with the caliper of _Steel_. This show is has a strong, award-winning cast. Its writing staff has already received numerous nominations. You yourself were nominated for an Emmy last year." Quinn blushed at the mention of her Emmy nod. "Not once in the last three seasons has the show not been nominated in more than one category. I find the dynamic of the show highly enjoyable and am looking forward to the challenge my character will bring. It will open a few doors for me and push me into comedy, an area that, while I have very little experience in. It will allow me to show potential future employers the wide array of my talent. Over all, I felt that this guest spot was a very prudent career choice move."

Quinn nodded along with her friend's reasons, feeling more than a bit guilty at her initial reaction. It was a thoroughly well thought out choice, not that Quinn would expect anything less for Rachel. Her fervent speech had Quinn convinced she was up to the challenge, but it was Rachel's closing words that made her absolutely melt.

"When they approached me, I couldn't say no. I wouldn't have even if it all of that weren't true, which it is. I still would have said yes for the simple fact that this guest appearance has given me the opportunity to work with my best friend. I was humbled to be asked to work alongside you. I loved performing with you in high school, but with our stronger friendship, and this new media... I've sat in on a few of your tapings Quinn, and you are amazing. Why would I say no to that?"

Quinn couldn't help the smile that lit up her face and was happy to see an answering one of Rachel's. She reached under the table and took Rachel's hand in her own, hoping to convey her apology and thanks at Rachel's passionate words. All of her doubts were gone and she couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with Rachel at that moment. Rachel was always the one to tear down the walls Quinn built in high school, and apparently she could still do it today. No one had ever made her feel as special as Rachel did.

Quinn swallowed back her emotions, knowing every eye in the room was on them, she did her best not to shift uncomfortably under the scrutiny. She squeezed Rachel's hand again before she donned her well-practiced mask of indifference and looked to the head of the table with a shrug. "She does have a point. I am pretty amazing." She said with a smirk. The table chuckled and she ducked as April tossed a napkin at her and pretended to gag.

Rachel shook her head and leaned closer to Quinn. "Doesn't she remind you of…" Rachel whispered as the rest of the cast moved onto another scene that didn't contain either of them.

"Oh yeah." Quinn said with a laugh, throwing the napkin back.

"Should I be worried?"

"Na, she's got enough Britt in her that she's mostly tame. It's kind of funny actually."

Rachel nodded. "I miss them." Brittany was so loving and innocent that she was easy to grow attached to. She was honestly shocked at the odd friendship that had sprang between her and Santana while they were roommates, though the Latino woman still swore up and down that she couldn't stand Rachel, everyone knew better. She'd probably gotten more calls from her than Kurt, Brittany, and Blaine combined since she'd been on the West Coast.

"I do too." Quinn took another drink of her coffee and sighed with pleasure. "Do you know when B's show ends its run?"

Rachel shook her head and sighed as she realized her coffee was gone. She really needed to kick the habit but it was her one vice and one she wasn't willing to give up at the moment. "No. When I talked to Tana a few nights ago she said that some other shows have been trying to buy out her contract but nothing has been decided. Britt feels like she's betraying her cast by even thinking about going to another show so knowing Brittany, she might be with the show until the end of time."

"Yeah, B doesn't like to let people down. She'd feel horribly guilty." Quinn cocked her head to the side, trying to think of a way to get their friends out to the west coast, but nothing was coming to mind. "We might need to fly out soon then and see everyone."

Rachel hummed noncommittally. As much as she wanted to see everyone, she also didn't want to burst the little bubble that Quinn and her had created. It was nice just being the two of them. She had honestly worried for a moment that Quinn would be upset that with the surprise of her being on the show. She had even had it written into her contract that if any of the lead actors had any issue with her being on the show that she would be able break her contract without any penalties. She was honest when she said that her big reasons for joining the cast were due to the possibility of Emmy contention, but if she were being honest with herself, it was more the possibility to work with Quinn.


	3. Skin and Truths

**Between the snow, a sick puppy, and a cough I can't shake, I'm a bit fried so I'm honestly not sure about this chapter. A little bit of angst mixed in with fluff and humor. Please let me know what you think, be it good or bad. For those of you who have already reviewed, favorited, or followed –you guys rock! Thank you! I think I'm going to try for a Wed/Sun update schedule. We'll see how it works out. Happy reading!**

* * *

><p>Rachel was glad to sit down. They'd been shooting for eight days straight and she was exhausted. After working on Broadway she was sure a syndicated television series would be a walk in the park, but the filming schedule was grueling. Some days she was on set in the early hours of morning, others she was stuck repeating the same scene long after the theater would have went dark. She was glad they only had one more day of shooting on the current episode before she had a few much needed days off.<p>

"I was wondering if you are by any chance free tomorrow night? I was thinking that maybe we'd try out that new sashimi place that Thomas had mentioned earlier today? He said that they…"

Quinn held up her hand to stop what she was sure was going to be a verbose replay of the conversation they'd both had earlier with the younger actor. "I was there, Rae, and no. First off, you know I don't do sashimi. Sushi, I like. I can trick my brain into eating it, because not all of it contains raw fish, look like raw fish, or taste like raw fish."

"Quinn, you should know by now that sashimi isn't just fish. Many dishes consist of other types of meat, for instance chicken, beef, and frog."

"Says the vegan, vegetarian." Quinn deadpanned. "You're not selling your point any more, by the way."

Rachel blushed. "Touché. I can't help it. I unwittingly stepped into the world of Japanese cuisine when I was dating that nice actor from Isa, Japan."

"Yes, well, that brings me to my second reason of skipping out on the wonders of Japanese dining. I actually have a date tomorrow." Quinn admitted. She was excited. It'd been a long time since she'd actually been out. She didn't count the well timed interruption of her best friend four months prior. For one, the date wasn't even half through before it was over, and for two, they didn't actually go out but stayed in.

Rachel roughly swallowed the bite of the margherita pizza they were splitting for lunch while on set. "Oh." Rachel could hear the disappointment that coated that one word, but couldn't help it. She'd had Quinn to herself for so long that she hadn't even thought about the woman dating since she first moved in. She shook it off and moved on.

"Right, well, I guess it is a good thing you have a date then, you won't have to be subjected to a cuisine that you find unpalatable. I'm sure I could convince Thomas and some of the other cast to join me. April Paden seem interested in branching out. It would be a good bonding experience for the rest of the cast. I am sure you'll find your date's company much more enjoyable."

Quinn shook her head. She had heard the disappointment, and though she was a bit confused by it, she was glad to hear that she wouldn't be stuck eating oddly shaped raw meat. "Just because I don't want to suck down some weird meat concoction doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy the company. Find another place, on another night, and we'll go out with the whole cast and crew okay?"

Rachel sighed. That's not exactly what she had meant, though she herself wasn't sure what she meant. She just felt uneasy at the thought of Quinn going on a date, though that didn't make any sense either. More than once of the previous five years one of the two of them would call to get a boost before going out with a new guy. Though Rachel did have to wonder why she never got a call for an ego boost before Quinn went on a date with a woman. She'd been on seven dates and not one of them did Quinn call her before, or at least to the best of her knowledge she hadn't. Maybe she'd been more comfortable going out with someone of her own gender and didn't feel like she needed the extra dose of confidence? Or maybe she was uncomfortable telling Rachel about it. It made her wonder if Quinn would have ever actually told her about being open to same-sex relationships if Rachel hadn't literally stumbled into her date. Rachel wanted to ask, but decided to save the questions for another time. Right now she'd play her part as best friend and boost Quinn before her date, asking all the right questions, and give her the obligatory pep talk she knew Quinn was angling for.

"So who is he? Or she? What are they like? Do I know them? How did this date come about? And how did I not know about you getting asked out until the night before?" Rachel pressed as she took another bite of her pizza.

"It is a him, his name is Austin. I'm not sure what he's like exactly, but he has sandy blonde hair, but darker than Sam's, with caramel brown eyes. I hope to learn more about him tomorrow. And the reason I'm telling you so late is because the it was a rather impromptu request."

"Fair enough, but when have you had a chance to get asked out lately? We've been working non-stop. Unless he's one of the crew?"

Quinn shook her head as she polished off her piece of pizza. "You know when I went to get coffee this morning?"

Rachel nodded. "I had to be on set early with April."

"Right, well that's when. I got stuck inline sandwiched between an office go-fer who had a gazillion drinks to order, and a fine young gentleman who decided to chat me up while we waited."

"Quinn, you cannot be serious? You are going on a date with some random man you met at a coffee shop?"

Quinn looked up confused. "Yes?"

"He could potentially be a serial killer or psychopath or deranged stalker!"

"Relax Rae, people go out with people they just meet all the time and he looked harmless."

"Yes, and so did Buffalo Bill before he pushed the Senator's daughter into his van with the intent of using her as a suit! A skin suit, Quinn!"

"Oh. My god." Quinn snorted into her cup. "I can't believe you just referenced Silence of the Lambs."

"Quinn, focus! It rubs the lotion on it's skin, Quinn. He could want your skin!"

"Rae, seriously, he's not going to want my skin for a suit. God, that has to be one of the weirdest things I have ever said in my entire life."

"What's weird?" April asked as she plopped down beside the diva, stealing a piece of pizza.

"Rachel believing my date would want to steal my skin."

"I had a guy try to steal my hair. I think it has a lot to do with my hair. 'Cause look at how long it is and how beautiful it is."

"No, what is weird is Quinn going out with a random stranger she met at the coffee shop this morning."

"That is weird. Haven't you seen American Psycho? God, Quinn if I knew you were that desperate I thought you would have finally broke down and asked Rachel. At the very least I would have set you up with my cousin."

"Why are you here?"

"I work here." April replied as if were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, here, as in here, my trailer, stealing our pizza?" Quinn glared at the red-head.

April shrugged. "I was hungry." She rolled her eyes at the look Quinn was giving her. "Get over yourself. Oh. Wait. Am I interrupting one of your date thingies?"

"It's NOT a date, Paden."

"You know sex isn't dating. You two should totally have sex. Then maybe you wouldn't be so tense."

Rachel looked between the two women and burst out laughing. "Oh god! She IS so Brittany!"

"No? I'm April." April looked at Rachel liked she'd lost her mind. "Is she having an asterism?" She asked out of the side of her mouth, her eyes never leaving the laughing diva.

"Aneurysm. No. She just has mental issues." Quinn sighed.

"Oh, okay." April shrugged and grabbed another piece of pizza, which she promptly used to point at Quinn. "You really should reconsider going out with random people you've never met. I mean, don't be an idiot Quinn. I pegged you for a lot of things, like a closet case, but stupid wasn't one of them. At least tell me you're being smart and meeting him in a public place."

Quinn shook her head as she heard Rachel mumble something about Kurt. "What are you doing Rae?"

"I am getting video documentation of the intriguing April Paden. No one is going to believe me when I tell them that there is a full grown, redheaded child of one Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce running around LA."

April reach over and snatched the phone from Rachel's hands. "Oh no. Nu uh. I am no one's child. I can't believe you would even call someone a redheaded stepchild. Do you know how discriminatory that is? What if everyone made fun of you because you were short? Or had a big nose? Or were Jewish?"

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Quinn held up her fingers as they started listing them off. "Dwarf."

"Hobbit."

"Treasure Trail."

"Sorry about that. Schnozz."

"Yentl."

"Sad little Jewish girl."

"It doesn't it count if you call yourself that!"

"I guess. How come I got all of the horrible nicknames anyway?"

"We were jealous of you?" Quinn shrugged "And did you forget Tubbers? Preggers? Lucy Caboosey."

"Oh. Yeah. How did I forget those? Though your caboose these days is pretty nice." Rachel giggled.

"Pshhh, my ass has _always_ looked nice." Quinn retorted before snatching the last piece of pizza.

"I feel like I'm watching verbal ping pong. It's kind of disgusting, like I've been dropped into some weird version of the Twilight zone where they torture you with sexual tension. Are you guys always like this? Because if you are then that totally explains why no one joins you on your dates."

"Paden, for the last time, they're not…"

"April, how would you like to join Thomas and I tomorrow night for sashimi?"

"What are we slashing?"

"No, it's a type of food."

"Well, as long as it's dead, I guess it'd be okay to slash it." Quinn rolled her eyes as Rachel held a hand between her and April, pointing as she mouthed "Brittany."

"Is Tubbers going to be there?" April grinned over at the blonde, laughing when the taller woman glared at her.

"No, actually, I have a real date."

"You mean you have a date with someone who isn't Rachel?" April sounded like she was honestly shocked.

Quinn threw her hands in the air. "I'm going to make up. We're supposed to be on set in twenty minutes."

* * *

><p>Quinn sighed. Maybe Rachel had been right. Not about the whole skin snatching thing, but about going out with a complete stranger. Austin really seemed down-to-earth when she'd met him two days before, but since sitting down with him at the restaurant she was second-guessing her choice. This was why she so rarely went on dates. Her love life was a disaster for a reason. Men sucked and women were just crazy. Or vice versa. She wasn't sure anymore. Honestly, Austin was nice enough, but he talked nonstop. And while it was cute and endearing on her best friend, it was annoying and rather nauseating coming from the man-child across from her. Especially since he mainly talked about himself, his likes, and who he knew around LA, as if she would be impressed by such a fact. She rolled her eyes at the thought. She was on a first name basis with more than a few celebrities and he was listing off people who knew people.<p>

"Do you like musicals?" Quinn asked, interrupting her date mid-sentence, not that she had been paying attention to what he'd been saying anyway. She wasn't sure where the question had come from but now she was honestly interested in what his answer would be.

"I… I guess? Why is there one that you'd like to go see? Maybe on a second date? I am sure they have something playing in town. I know someone who works at Naurt Theater that might be able to get us some tickets."

Quinn rolled her eyes knowing that that particular theater was a movie theater. A prestigious movie theater, but a movie theater none the less. While they still had regular showings of Rocky Horror, and had festivals of Disney classics, it would never be considered a theater company that put on musicals.

"Are you serious right now?" Quinn's irritation leaked into her voice, but the man was on such a roll she was sure he hadn't even noticed.

"Of course. It might take a week or so to get tickets but I'm sure…"

Quinn sighed in relief when her phone began to ring from inside her clutch. Usually when on a date, she'd have muted her phone, but she was beyond thankful for her oversight when she saw Rachel's name on screen "I'm sorry, please excuse me."

Quinn stood from the table and walked to the front of the restaurant. "Oh thank god." Quinn sighed into the phone the moment it connected.

"That good?" Rachel laughed in response.

"Well, he hasn't gotten around to trying to steal my skin yet, but I'm almost ready to peel it off myself and give it to him just to shut him up."

Rachel's laughter made Quinn smile for the first time that night. "That makes me almost wish I would have tailed you like April suggested."

"You mean you didn't? I could have sworn I saw suspiciously familiar red and brown hair seated a few tables away from mine." Quinn leaned against a wall out of sight as she took in the embarrassed blush that crossed her best friend's face.

"I am sure that it just happens to be someone who is as stunningly attractive as April and I. We just so happen to be a the sushi place that Thomas was…"

"Nice try Rae, it was a sashimi restaurant. Look up and to your left." She waited until Rachel's eyes found her own and gave her a small wave. She laughed into her phone at the color that rushed to Rachel's face. "Busted."

"Quinn, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"

Quinn hung up her phone with a shake of her head and made it over to her friends' table. "I should be offended. But if you two can find a way to get me out of this disaster of a date, I would be willing to forgive you both."

Quinn could tell that Rachel was more than willing to give in, but April cut her off before she could accept the deal. "Now hold on. Let me get this right. I come to a beautiful dining establishment, with an equally beautiful date," Rachel felt her cheeks redden even more at the wink April sent her, "and you expect me to end said date just to help you out? I don't know, doesn't sound like we aren't getting anything out of this deal. What do you think Rachel?"

Rachel hesitated for only a moment, she didn't want to upset Quinn, nor did she want her to really believe that April and her were on a date. She couldn't help but smirk at the dumbfounded look her roommate was giving them and decided to play along. "We were having such a lovely time together."

Quinn looked between the two, incredulously. "Fine." Quinn growled. "What do you want?"

"Simple. Pizza. Beer. And Glee." April said with an evil smirk. Damn it if she didn't look like Santana.

"Glee?"

"Tapes. I know yous got tapes. DVDs. I want to see Quinn Fabray in action. That's the deal."

Quinn debated lying, but she knew even if she didn't have a copy, Rachel was sure to have a few copies in her DVD collection, or at the very least on her iCloud. She considered telling April just to look them up on YouTube, but then she'd still be stuck on this horrible date. A date that she probably should get back to before he ran off with her jacket and clutch which were both still at the table.

"Fine. Just do whatever you have to." Quinn regretted those words even as they left her mouth. She saw the mischievous look in April's eye as she spun on her heel and headed back to her table.

"Sorry, my agent." Quinn lied as she slid into her seat.

"Agent? Oh are you an actor or something?"

Quinn stared at him incredulously. "I... uh... yes, yes I am."

"Oh that's great! I tried to get into acting myself, but I quickly realized I wasn't meant to be in front of the camera. I know, shocking, with my good looks you'd think I would be perfect, but I decided I liked working backstage better. I've been working as a janitor over at Bundalac Studios. One of the directors there said he'd take a look at my script soon. I've been writing for a while. When he buys it, I'll make sure to suggest you, and seeing as we're dating, I'm sure I'll be able to get you a part."

Was this guy for real right now? Before she could even answer a "drunk" redhead fell into her lap. "What the actual hell?" Quinn yelled as the actress in her arms burped, loudly.

"Sssssor-weeee I ssssseem to have mis-placed... well, my self." Paden slurred before erupting in giggles as she hung onto Quinn's neck.

"Oh. My. God." Quinn wanted to slam her head against the table, but a voluptuous woman sat between her and her target. Just when she thought the night couldn't get any worse. This was their big plan? Couldn't have been a 911 emergency call? Or a fire in the bathroom that forced them to scramble for safety, allowing her to slip away in the crowd? No, she gets the famous actress who decides she wants to play a drunk, in front of a crowded room full of people. Lovely.

"You're cute!" April exclaimed loudly, earning her a look from a few nearby tables.

"Uh, miss?" Her date finally shook himself out of his stupor and tried to get April's attention, finally lifting his eyes from where they had been fully planted on her… assets. "Would you mind getting off my date?"

"Ohhh... You wannnt me to get your date off? Kinky! But I like it!" April turned her head and started kissing her way down Quinn's neck.

Quinn shook her head and groaned, "Fuck my life." She heard her friend giggle into her neck.

"Hey ssssexy," April purred loudly into Quinn's ear, making sure Quinn's date could hear, "what do you say we ditch the looser and go back to my place?"

If this was her way out, she might as well make a show of it. Quinn let out a low throaty moan as April nipped at her neck, chuckling to herself as the redhead shivered involuntarily. Oh, this could be fun. Get back at April for her stunt, and leave dickhead saluting his shorts, stuck at the table. Quinn laughed to herself. So much fun. Quinn made a show of lifting her neck giving the woman room to continue her assault on her neck, staring her tablemate in the eye the entire time as she began to let her hands wander to PG-13 areas. She smiled, knowing she had the man's attention as she bent down and tilted April's chin up.

She smiled evilly as April's eyes widened in surprise as she brought her face closer. "Sell it." She whispered as she took the redhead's lips between her own, instantly deepening the kiss. She smirked into the kiss as April moaned loudly, not caring if it was for appearance or not. She thrust her tongue deep into April's mouth as she grabbed her ass and pulled her closer. She could feel the woman breathing heavily as she continued to besiege her mouth. As she pulled away her smile grew at the dazed look at the woman in her arms.

"Let's get out of here." She said throatily. Red hair bounced as April nodded in agreement before she stood quickly on shaky legs. Quinn glanced across the table as reached into her clutch and pulled out a few bills, throwing them on the table in front of the stunned man.

"Enjoy your dinner. It's on me."

"Wait, I'm not coming with?" The man began to stand up, then quickly sat back down. "I mean, if you want we could…"

Quinn growled as she pulled April into her side. "I don't share." She grabbed her jacket with her free hand and spun them around, heading for the exit. "Where's Rachel?" She asked when they were far enough away from the man who kept trying to stand, but couldn't out of embarrassment. She laughed to herself. As much as she'd outgrown her HBIC attitude, she couldn't help but admit she still got a thrill out of putting people in their places. She was initially shocked, and pissed, by April's show, but now she just wanted to high five the woman and go get a slushy for old time sake. Not that she would ever do either.

"She wasn't thrilled with my plan so she decided to wait by the doors and call ahead for pizza."

Rachel paced a few feet from the door of the restaurant. She had tried to talk April out of her scheme but the woman had already decided pretending to seduce their "beautiful, blonde, bombshell" friend –April's exact words, was going to happen one way or another that night. At first she had tried to talk Rachel into being the one doing the seducing, but when Rachel had been adamant that the plan was horrible, April decided that she'd play the roll. She felt her stomach clinch at the thought, though her muddled brain couldn't decide if it was more at the thought of Rachel herself doing the seducing, April seducing Quinn, or of Quinn possibly falling for the lateral. She'd watched the beginning of it from the same wall that Quinn had been standing at when she busted them. She watched April drape herself over Quinn, kissing her way up Quinn's neck but had to turn away as soon as Quinn began to grope the woman. She felt like she couldn't breath. She had spun on her heel and quickly left the establishment to begin pacing, which is where Quinn and April found her ten minutes later.

Quinn instantly knew something was wrong and dropped her arm from around April's waist, stepping closer to the brunette. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Rachel nodded, though she couldn't hold eye contact with Quinn. No, everything was far from okay, but she couldn't admit that to Quinn. Quinn would ask questions that she didn't want to answer.

"The driver should be here in just a minute." She said, looking over towards April and back to Quinn. Quinn knew she was lying, or navigating around the truth with deflection, and Rachel knew she knew it. She caught two hazel eyes searching her own and she silently begged Quinn not to pursue it. She wasn't even sure what she would say if Quinn asked. She sighed in relief as she caught Quinn's subtle nod as the blonde stepped back.

"Okay, we'll have to stop on the way to the condo to get some drinks. There's nothing at the house."

"Already taken care of. I asked Wade to pick us up a selection when I called to tell him we were ready early." Rachel was glad for her forethought on the matter.

"Your driver is amazing. How come the studio gets you one and we get nothing?" April asked from where she was leaning against the façade of the restaurant.

"I'm a bigger star with a better agent who is good at getting me all the perks." Stated like it was a fact. Which it was.

"I need your agent." April said with a laugh

"Remind me and I'll give you Tina's card. Quinn can point her out later tonight."

"She's coming over tonight?" April asked confused.

"No, she'll be on the DVD. She was one of the Gleeks. One of the members of our Glee club." Quinn clarified as a black town car pulled up to the curb.

"Good evening ladies." A tall, fair skinned man with a faintly oriental accent bowed to them and opened the door.

"Hello, Wade. I am sorry we had to interrupt your meal."

"Do not worry about it, my dear. This is what I get paid to do, and it is my pleasure to be surrounded by such beautiful and talented people such as yourselves."

"Not only do you get all the perks, you get the ass-kissing as well. Tell that Tina chick she has a new client." April said as she slid into the car.

Rachel just nodded and thanked Wade quietly before she slid into the small back seat. There was no way that she was going to allow Quinn to sit next to April after the display they'd just put on. _God, I hope it was just a display._ Rachel caught herself thinking.

Quinn looked up at the man who smiled and gave her a wink as he held out his hand and helped her into the car. She was apprehensive about what was going on with her best friend as she slide into the car next to her. Quinn couldn't understand what had happened in the few minutes that passed between her catching her friends spying on her and the time they'd made it out of the restaurant. Had April said something to make Rachel uncomfortable? April had admitted that Rae hasn't liked her plan, so maybe she was upset that her plan wasn't the one that was put into play. God knows that it wouldn't be the first time that Rachel threw a fit because she hadn't gotten her way, though the last time she'd seen an appearance of her diva tantrums they had just finished high school. Now she had managers and agents who threw fits for her.

And anyway, that theory didn't really hold water seeing as the two women were now sitting next to each other, talking about the different members of their Glee club. So what did that leave? Quinn played back the last few minutes as she stared out the window as Los Angeles sped passed. Was it the fact that Rachel had been right about the date and Quinn hadn't apologized? Quinn threw the idea around. That theory was a possibility when it came to Rachel, but it seemed more than that. If that were the case, Rachel would just seem a little pissed, Quinn would be able to crack a joke, and they'd be okay. But she hadn't seemed mad, she seemed… lost. That was the only word that came to mind at the look Rachel had in her eyes when she'd finally made eye contact with the blonde. But the question was… why?

Quinn excused herself to go change into something comfortable as soon as they walked in the house, leaving Rachel to play host to their cast mate.

"Have you been to Quinn's place before?"

April shook her head. "You mean this isn't your place too?" She looked around the quaint living room, honestly surprised by the number of books that lined the walls.

"Well, no. Yes. Kind of. Quinn asked me last week to move in with her while I'm staying in the area."

"Man, and I thought lesbians moved fast. Already u-hauling it and you two haven't even had your first date."

"If you're referring to the colloquialism used to describe lesbians moving in together after the second date, then you are off base. She wouldn't want to date me. Quinn and I are just friends. Best friends, but just friends." Rachel hesitated as she thought of Santana, "Though one of our good friends did say something similar when I told her I'd be living here."

"Sounds like me and this friend would get along great." April said as she made herself at home in Quinn's favorite chair.

Rachel cocked her head to the side in thought as she sat down on the couch. "Either the two of you would get along great, or you'd absolutely hate each other. I haven't decided which yet."

April looked over her shoulder towards the hall that led to the bedrooms. Seeing the coast was clear, she looked back at the little diva. "So what _is_ the story with you and Blondie?"

"What do you mean?"

"You guys live together. You hang out all the timeSo last nigho it?"

Rachel laughed. "No, that's just Santana. She's made comments like that even before Quinn and I became friends."

"You mean you weren't always like this?"

"Oh god no." Rachel laughed. "She tormented me for a good portion of high school."

"And that made her think? What? That Quinn had some underlying feelings about you?"

"Well," Rachel thought about it, but wasn't sure if she wanted to be _that_ honest with April yet. She reminded her a little too much of Santana to completely trust the fiery redhead. Honestly, Santana's reasoning could have been anything from being a bitch to Quinn's semi-pornographic pictures she would draw in the woman's bathroom. "I couldn't tell you how many inappropriate, 'wanky' things that woman has said over the years."

"Wanky?"

"It's a Santana thing." The two women jumped as Quinn answered the question. "Any time anyone would say anything remotely sexual, she'd yell out wanky. It got to be so bad in high school that I would have dreams with her yelling it in the middle of the night."

"No, that was actually Santana. She put in her Google Talk number into your phone and set her ringtone to her saying wanky so she could call you in the middle of the night to annoy you." When Quinn just stared at her she shrugged. "She did it during one of the glee parties."

Quinn blinked slowly as she processed that information. She shook her head and sighed. Really, she should have seen that. "And that's Santana, my best friend." Quinn laughed as she leaned against the back of the couch and tossed the things in her hands at April.

"Sleepwear and a DVD of every glee performance with the original twelve members ala one Rachel Berry. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Wait, what?" April asked, jumping from the couch.

"I'm going to bed. I have to be on set early."

"Like hell you are. We had a deal."

"And I fulfilled my deal. The beer," Quinn pointed at the bags of beer sitting next to the couch, "the DVD," she pointed to April's hands, "and the money for pizza is on the small table in the entryway."

"Oh no. You can come sit your happy ass down because you are watching it with us."

"Nope, that wasn't part of the deal. Plus, I'm sure Rae would be more than willing to watch it with you. Glee was her baby after all." Quinn spun around again and began to head back to her room.

Rachel swallowed hard. It was her baby, but she wasn't the only reason Glee had kept going for as long as it had. "Quinn?" Rachel's soft voice stopped Quinn in her tracks. She looked over her shoulder to find rapidly filling brown eyes. "I –I don't know if I can." Rachel's voice broke over the words.

Quinn sighed. She should have saw this coming. She turned and quickly made her way around the couch, lowering herself to the coffee table in from of Rachel. "Why not Rachel?"

Rachel shook her head and looked down. "I haven't… you weren't there Quinn, at his memorial. You… you don't know how hard it was."

"I am so sorry I wasn't there for him, for you." Quinn cupped Rachel's cheek in one hand and wiped the lone tear that fell from her eye. "I just... I couldn't. It wasn't fair to anyone else, I know that but I was finally getting on my feet after everything and I just..." Quinn sighed as she saw April leave the room from the corner of her eye but kept her gaze trained on her upset friend. "Is he why you can't watch them?"

Finn and her may have gone their own separate ways but he had been a huge part of her life for so long. She missed him, his friendship, his cocky, crooked smile. "I… I haven't been able to watch any of our performances since." Rachel admitted softly. It had killed her to.

Quinn moved to the couch and pulled Rachel into her arms. "I used to. I would be missing everyone while at Yale, and I'd pull out the DVD and I'd listen to you sing. Watch Brittany and Mike dance. Laugh at Finn's constipation face." Quinn smiled as Rachel chuckled and slapped at her waist. "I miss him too, Rae, but it was good. Watching us back then. I cried the first few times, and after a while, it got easier. I remembered all the craziness that we went through, and how hard it was back then, and I'd realize how far we've all came since then. I mean look at us, Rae." She smiled as Rachel melted into her side just a little bit more. "We've came so far and I can't help but believe that Finn is out there right now, watching over us, smiling when we get things right and kicking chairs when we do something stupid." Rachel's full body laugh made Quinn feel lighter.

Rachel sat up and wiped her eyes before she gave Quinn a peck on her cheek. "Thank you, Quinn."

"Always." Quinn stood as the doorbell rang. She stopped and looked down at Rachel. "Go get into some pj's and we'll watch together. We'll laugh at how stupid we all were, and when you feel the need to cry, I have two good shoulders you can use."

Rachel swallowed around the lump in her throat as she watched Quinn glide away, feeling a warmth radiating from her chest. She was so lucky to have a friend like Quinn in her life and she couldn't help but wonder how high school would had been able to push all the boyfriend and popularity crap out of the way. As much as it would have been better for her, she wouldn't change any of it. It brought them here and made them who they were. And she was pretty happy with here and now.


	4. Death and Kisses

**Apparently, it's impossible to sleep when it's so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face and so quiet the only thing you can hear is your own breathing. A six-hour power outage in subzero temperatures put a huge dent in my writing time yesterday but I promised an update today.**

Quinn stared at the script, dumbfounded. Rachel had already successfully completed two episodes of _Steel _and the show had already extended her for two more episodes. Quinn would be the first to admit she was amazing. She snorted to herself and wondered if she'd ever stop being astounded by Rachel's talent. She honestly didn't think she ever would.

But that was what left her so flabbergasted at the direction the writers and producers had decided to take this arc.

"So, this is a little unexpected." Rachel admitted as they read through their scripts together, sitting across from one another on their couch. Rachel had officially moved in two weeks ago, after they had rescued Quinn from her disaster of a date. She shifted in her seat and looked around the room that was once completely Quinn. It was now filled with little touches of the diva as well. It felt more like home than New York had in a long time and brought a warmth and comfort to the room she hadn't expected. Pictures of both of their friends and family covered one wall, interspersed with playbills, awards, and diplomas both women had received over the years. She loved that Quinn had made her feel at home here. Rachel sighed as she looked back at the script in her hand, unable to stop thinking about the changes it could mean for them in the coming few weeks. She was sure everything would change, and as much as she tried to keep an optimistic look at life, she wasn't sure the change would be good. If anything, it would be a bit heart breaking, she was sure.

"You didn't know about this then?" Quinn asked, still staring at the script propped up on her knees. She kept re-reading, wondering if she had lost her mind. After the tenth time reading the page in front of her she was convinced that it wasn't her, but her bosses that had gone insane. She threw the script on the coffee table in disgust.

"No, no I did. In general terms. I mean I knew it was a possibility. It's just… seeing it on paper is much different."

"I was wondering how they were going to pull this off."

"So you knew?" Rachel asked, honestly astonished. "You're okay with it?"

Quinn shifted uncomfortably under Rachel's scrutiny, still unable to meet her gaze. "I didn't know it was going to go down like this, no. And I'm not sure if I'm okay with it, honestly. I mean, my character has had a few romantic interest over the last few seasons, but this… this may break her."

Rachel hummed. She wasn't sure how she felt about it either. "I… I don't even know what I'm feeling at the moment."

"I thought you'd be upset."

Rachel rose from the couch and threw her script next to Quinn's, almost knocking over their empty wine glasses. "Well, of course I'm upset, Quinn! They're killing off my character! When they extended my contract, I thought that meant I would be a semi-reoccurring –a character whom I might add had great chemistry with the cast! How could they kill me off? I've NEVER been killed off before!"

Quinn chuckled, finally lifting her eyes from their scripts.

"Don't laugh." Rachel huffed as she flung herself back on the couch dramatically.

Quinn just smiled and shook her head; everything about Rae was dramatic. She reached for the wine bottle that was on the floor next to the couch, taking a swig straight from the bottle before passing it to the woman seated next to her.

Rachel hugged the bottle to her chest and leaned her cheek against the back of the couch, looking over at her friend. Quinn was completely scrubbed clean of make up. Rachel knew she should stop staring, but she was loath to move her eyes away. "I'm going to miss working with you." Rachel admitted softly.

The last three weeks of filming together had been amazing. She'd caught herself more than once just watching Quinn when she wasn't required to be on the soundstage herself. She loved watching Quinn in her element. Rachel really had a lot of chemistry with the rest of the cast, but the sparks that flew between Quinn and her on-screen blew her mind. She'd worked with many actors and actresses over the years, and never had she felt such an easy connection as she had with Quinn. More than once they had gone off script but they played off each other so well, feeding each other lines, that it was rare for the director to call cut.

Quinn dropped her script next to Rachel's and scooted closer, pulling Rachel into her embrace. The smaller woman smiled in contentment and laid her head on Quinn's shoulder. "You're still living here. We'll still see each other."

Rachel looked up, getting lost in sparkling hazel eyes, slightly glazed over from their shared bottle of wine. "It's not the same."

She took a deep breath, smiling at the smell that was so distinctly Rachel and hugged the diva closer, content to just hold the smaller woman. "I know. Let's just make the next two episodes so awesome that they reconsider."

* * *

><p>Detective Elle Riya leaned against the front of her desk and eyed the woman across from her. She still couldn't believe her and her partner had the bad luck to get assigned to guard Senator Maureen Tallann's daughter while treats came against the Senator and her family, but they'd been asked for specifically.<p>

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" Carmina Tallann smirked at the hot detective. "See something you like?" She joked, her words coated with thinly veiled disdain.

The feisty brunette gasped as the Detective stepped into her personal space "Maybe I do."

Carmina looked into the blonde woman's green eyes and smiled. She just figured out how she was going to get through this stint of protection detail.

"You know, Detective, I wanna thank you…"

Ella shrugged a shoulder. "I was just doing my job"

"Right. Well, I just wanna know... if I can buy you dinner."

"That'd be terrific."

Carmina smiled as she trailed her finger across Ella's collarbone. "Great. You get off in, like, a half hour?"

The detective snorted and took a step back. "Oh, no. Here, I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But, to sit and eat... with you, that's... that's just... that's crazy talk! I have half a mind to issue you a drug test. I mean, come on…"

"Well, I could think of other ways of thanking you."

"Now you have me listening."

A quick look around showed her the squad room was mostly empty, Riya's partner had her head deep in a file a few desks away, but other than that, the immediate area was vacant. She smiled evilly as she rose to her tiptoes, pulling the cocky Detective closer by the lapels of her jacket. She was thrown off-balance as the taller woman stepped into her, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss. Carmina's hands quickly reached up to run through impossibly soft hair. Their kiss seemed to last forever, though she was sure it had only been mere seconds.

Carmina stared at the beautiful detective, willing her brain to kick-start. Instantly a smile spread across her lips and a deep belly laugh ripped from her throat.

"Damn you, Quinn!" Rachel slapped her hand against the woman's arm. "You aren't supposed to be _that_ damn good at that!" She heard the cast and crew around them laugh. "I completely forgot my lines. I _never_ forget my lines."

Quinn laughed at the shocked look that still filled her best friend's face and buffed her nails against her jacket. "Oh yeah, still got it!"

"Shut up."

"I mean, I know I'm good, but when you have Finn and St. James to compare me to, I'm a god." Quinn laughed.

"I see you didn't add Puck on that list."

"Meh, Puck was a pretty good kisser. B was better."

"You kissed Britt?" Rachel asked as she leaned against the desk behind her, mirroring Quinn's position. She'd forgot all about them being on set, surrounded by Quinn's cast mates, extras, and production crew. She hadn't even noticed that the director never called cut after her flub.

"Britt kissed everyone in school." Quinn shrugged, stating a well-known fact. "Really after all that practice, I don't think there is anyone who could top our little dancer."

She watched Rachel tilt her head from side to side before she nodded in agreement. Quinn raised an eyebrow before she snickered. Of course Rachel and B had kissed. Like she said, Britt made a point of kissing everyone in school.

"So wait, you both have kissed how many of the same people?" April asked as she joined Quinn on her desk.

"More than a few." Quinn laughed. "You mean we didn't tell you? God, we used to fight over boys like they were going out of style."

"Don't remind me." Rachel groaned.

"Rachel stole my boyfriend in high school."

"I'm pretty sure you returned the favor."

"Then there was Puck."

"Your ex?" April inquired.

"Both of ours, but more mine than Rachel. She just had a thing with him."

"That lasted like a day. Apparently two hot Jews is just too much." Rachel laughed.

"Ok, so who else?" She loved

"Brittany, one of our best friends. If you wanted to graduate, you had to first make out with B. It was an unwritten school policy."

"Santana."

Quinn's jaw dropped; she was glad she was sitting down for that bit of news. "You and S kissed?" She asked incredulously.

"God, don't make it sound like it's a horrible thing."

Quinn quickly shook her head. "No, it's not like that. It's just…. Santana." She said, as if that explained everything.

"Yes, well, it wasn't something planned. Tana was drunk, sad about Brittany, and unsure about Dani, and well, she kissed me."

"I guess that makes sense."

April smiled. It seemed like her partner might be just a bit jealous over the fact that Rachel had kissed both of their best friends and not her. The stage kiss totally didn't count. She wondered if she could use that fact and push the stubborn woman into seeing what was literally right in front of her.

"Now I feel a little left out." April pouted expertly. "You kissed all your best friends but me."

Quinn snorted. "Who said you're her best friend?"

"Fine, maybe not best friend, but still, am I not a good enough friend to kiss?"

"She's not going to kiss you. Who said she even likes kissing women?" Quinn argued, getting more and more irritated with the woman sitting next to her.

"Actually…." Rachel interrupted, "I rather kiss a woman than a guy more often than not. They're just…" Rachel sighed softly, unable to stop thinking about the kiss she'd experienced just a few minutes before, "They're soft and passionate, and they just know how to move. They're not all hard edges and slobbery kisses and groping hands."

"Damn, she makes me almost want to switch teams." April admitted as she watched the dazed look on the little diva's face as she dreamily described kissing a woman.

Quinn felt her face warm as she recalled the feeling of Rachel in her arms as she kissed her. Sure, it'd been a stage kiss, nowhere near as nice as a real one would be, but she knew just what Rachel was describing and she couldn't stop her brain from imagining just what a real kiss with the smaller woman would be like.

* * *

><p><strong>I am going to try to get another update out tomorrow since this one was so short. No promises but I'm going to try :)<strong>


	5. Mourning and Costumes

**I was really hoping to get this out yesterday but I couldn't stop writing, so it's a rather long chapter ~6,000 words. This chapter does get a bit more serious, but not in an angsty way. Thanks for all the favorites, follows and to those of you who have so awesomely left one of the few reviews I've gotten :) And to my Xenite reviewer –come off guest so I can PM to tell you how much that review rocked!**

Quinn hated today, hated what it meant, hated that she hated it so much. And even though it hadn't been real, watching Rachel die over and over, take after take, for two days, had sucked. Royally. Many of the tears her character had shed had been indistinguishable from her own. The more Quinn thought about it, the worse she got. It was just a show, and they were just acting, and at the end of the each take, she would breathe a sigh of relief when chocolate-brown eyes would spring open, and Rachel would stare up from where she laid in Quinn's arms and give her a small smile. It still didn't stop the thoughts that bombarded her between each take, but it kept her from completely losing it all together. She just couldn't imagine a world without her best friend in it and even pretending to do so broke her heart to just think about. Quinn wondered what it would mean in the long run. If her best friend fictionally dying could reduce her to a sobbing mess, she couldn't help but worry what that would mean for her when Rachel had finally wrapped up her guest spots and films and decided it was time to head back to the lights of Broadway. She was afraid it would break her, worse than she'd been broken in a long time. And she really, really didn't want to think about Rachel leaving.

So when a few of the cast members had suggested going out together to celebrate Rachel's last day on set, she was more than willing. A few drinks, time with Rachel, and their cast mates sounded like just what she needed. Though they hadn't talked about it, she knew Rachel could tell how hard the scenes had hit her. Before they had left, Rachel had stepped into her trailer and wordlessly wrapped her arms around Quinn, resting her head on her shoulder. They spent countless minutes in each other's arms, just embracing, before walking hand in hand to meet their friends.

The large group quickly took over a corner of their favorite local bar and grill, moving tables together, ordering an obscene amount of food, wine, and liquor. All in all, the mood was light and jovial, conversation flowing around them. Quinn quietly watched her diva enjoy herself, laughing with her colleagues, occasionally smiling over at Quinn. Rachel knew that something was going on in that pretty blonde head, but she also knew that Quinn would tell her when she was ready. It reassured her every time she looked over to find two hazel eyes already on her. She'd raise an eyebrow, silently asking if everything was okay, and she'd get a small nod. Rachel felt better when she reached over and threaded her fingers with Quinn's long, tapered ones. She just needed the contact, and had a feeling that Quinn did as well. Quinn's eyes widened in shock and Rachel turned to follow her line of sight, stunned to see their feisty, buzzed, redhead friend standing on a chair, tapping the side of her wine glass. Rachel hissed at her friend to get down as immediate area of the bar and grill quieted down.

April shook her head at the tiny brunette and grinned at the cast and crew that had joined them.

"Thank you, losers!" April smirked, talking loudly over the noise coming from the rest of the room. "We are gathered here tonight to celebrate –errr mourn –the passing of the aptly named Carmina Tallman. Because our writers love metaphors almost as much as the famous Rachel Berry does, and Carmina Tallman roughly translates from some weird Gaelic/Latin mash to mean talented singer. And damn if she wasn't talented, even if the only place she was singing to the heavens was from our very own Detective Ella Riya's bed." April waited until the tittering chuckles died down, loving the deep blush that quickly filled both women's cheeks, before moving on with her impassioned speech.

"We are here to give thanks for the life of Carmina, and the experiences that we shared. Rachel has blessed up and kept us entertained with her singing chops, her amazing acting skills, and her need to repeatedly retake each and every kissing scene, because the previous eighteen takes weren't 'just right'." April smiled and blew the diva a kiss.

"And so, we come together to wish her well now that our time together is over. For Carmina and Rachel, the journey is beginning, but for us, there is loss, grief and pain. We may laugh, or cry, or drink ourselves into a stupor, but we will carry on. _Steel _bends but it doesn't break." The table broke out in shouts of agreement, everything from a well-timed "Hell yeah!" To "Sing it preacher!" echoed around the table.

"Every one of us here has had our life touched –some more physically than others, (cough, cough Ella) by Carmina's existence. Otherwise, we would not be here to gorge ourselves on food, friendship, and spirits." April smiled as she watched Quinn hug Rachel from behind. She loved their dynamic, both on and off-screen. If they'd only allow themselves to take that small step that their character had, they might just find the kind of love that Hollywood only wished they could emulate on-screen. They needed to be together and she was going to make it her mission to make sure it happened. Because both of her friends needed it to happen. The way Rachel unconsciously leaned back into Quinn's arms, the way both smiled just a little bit wider, was all the proof she needed.

April shook her head and refocused on her speech. "All jokes aside, Rachel, it has been a pleasure to work with you. We could not have asked for a better guest to appear on our humble show. So raise your glasses, losers, to true talent, a true star. To Rachel, may you reach the heavens and beyond."

Rachel felt her eyes stinging with tears and snuggled into her best friend's side as Quinn lifted her glass with a "hear here." Rachel gave April a watery smile and stood up to hug her, surprised when she was slowly passed from person to person around the table, each wishing her luck and telling her what an honor it had been to work with her. She was seriously overwhelmed by it all. When she jumped on a plane almost five months before, she could have never suspected things would play out the way they had. She'd become closer than she ever thought possible to Quinn. She'd made strong connections with some amazingly talented and funny actors. Somehow she had gained a true friend out of the snarky, over the top, redhead with very little verbal filter. It was all more than she could have hoped for and she just needed to get away and let it all process.

"Is it bad that I just want to go home, curl up with you, and a carton of vegan rocky road?" Rachel whispered on to Quinn's shoulder when she had finally made it back around the table. She smiled as she felt Quinn's arms tighten around her for a moment.

"If that's what you want, then that is what you'll get." Quinn stated before standing and polishing off the last of the. She hadn't realized until she stood up that she had more to drink than she originally thought and would have fallen over if not for two small, but deceptively strong, arms that wrapped around her waist.

Still holding on to Quinn she turned to the group. "I wanted to thank you all for a lovely evening and a great few weeks of filming together. You all have made this a very enjoyable and enlightening experience. Please be well and if any of you have driven here tonight, I implore you to find an alternative way home. I have grown fond of you all and wish only for you health, happiness and safety. Now, I must get this one home to bed before she falls asleep standing up." Rachel gave a small wave and directed her somewhat drunk friend towards the door.

"Hey Beatrice!" Rachel turned her head back towards April, knowing she was referring to Shakespeare's overly dramatic character. As she watched April smirk, her eyes flickering to the blonde hanging off her, Rachel was certain that the woman was going to make another reference about the nature of her relationship with Quinn. Honestly, as annoying as April could be about it, it wasn't anything Quinn and her hadn't heard since high school. Yet, for reasons Rachel rather not think about, more and more often, the commits seemed to be hitting closer to home. It was one of those things that she forcefully pushed to the back of her mind to deal with another day. Though it easier said than done when you had a friend who constantly brought up the subject you were ignoring. Or when the subject you were ignoring was a beautiful blonde was currently nuzzling your neck.

Rachel raised an eyebrow at the redhead, waiting for her snide comment. She was surprised when she watched April's eyes soften. "Take care of her."

Rachel nodded in response, and though she knew there was no way April would hear her, she whispered what she knew would be true for as long as Quinn let her. "Always."

* * *

><p>"You've ruined it." Rachel looked up sharply from the script in her lap as Quinn stormed into their condo, obviously upset.<p>

The force of Quinn's glare as her friend took Rachel aback as she watched her friend pace up and down the living room. "I'm sorry, what did I ruin?"

Quinn watched the small frown between Rachel's eyes and longed to lean over and kiss it away. _Wait. What?_ Quinn shook her head wondering where that thought had come from and began pacing again It's not like she needed that on top of everything else.

Rachel watched as Quinn came to a dead stop, before she began pacing again, and fought her instinct to jump in front of the angry woman, forcing her to cease her insistent movement.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked softly, not wanting to upset her friend anymore.

Quinn shook her head at herself. As much as she wanted to lash out, she knew it wasn't Rachel's fault. Not really. And she really had grown out that habit a long time ago, or she thought she had. She could still feel the need to snap at Rachel and find a way to make it her fault, a habit she had created through years of putting Rachel in her place in the meanest and cruelest ways possible as a way to cover up her feelings, her hurts and pains. She didn't want to do that anymore and had promised herself years ago that she would never purposely hurt Rachel like that again. When that realization hit her she sighed and dropped herself next to her best friend on the couch. She sat there for less than a second before twisting her body, forcing her head between the small space between Rachel's lap and the script she still held in her hand.

Rachel looked down, surprised. Not that they hadn't been in this position before. Often when they stayed home for their movie nights, she'd end up with Quinn's head on her lap, unconsciously running her fingers through her blonde hair. Or Rachel's feet would be propped on Quinn's thighs, her strong fingers digging into the tender flesh. No, she was surprised by the vulnerability and sadness that filled Quinn's eyes as she stared into them. Rachel sighed as she sat down her script on the arm of the couch and began running her fingers through Quinn's soft, blonde hair.

"What did I ruin, Quinn?"

"_Steel._ You ruined my show." Quinn whined.

Rachel looked down at the blonde in her lap, completely confused and flabbergasted. "Quinn! How dare you infer that I may have done such a thing!? If anything my presence on you show improved it!" Rachel couldn't keep the hurt and anger out of her voice, half tempted to throw the woman off her lap and onto the floor.

"Rachel." Quinn knew when she softly used her full name she'd have her attention. Once upon a time, even that name was a treat; but now, unless they were in public, she was Quinn's Rae. Her bright, shiny, starlight. She hadn't meant it the way it came out, but honestly it was the truth –Rae had ruined the show, for her. "That's what I mean, Rae." She said softly. "I got so used to you being there and making everything better and now I miss having you around."

Even though Quinn was a lot more open with her feelings than she had been in high school, Rachel knew that she still struggled with being completely open. For Quinn to admit something more than a quick, "Hey, I miss you, dork" over the six years they had been on opposite sides of the country, was still rare. Rachel sighed and let her body relax back into the couch. Quinn's words soothed over the confusion but not the pain in her chest. She hadn't realized how much she would miss getting to see Quinn on set every day, getting to sit next to her in make up, breaking out into song together any time anyone said anything remotely close to a song lyric. She continued to run her fingers through Quinn's hair, gently scraping her nails against her scalp, something she'd found out a long time ago relaxed her best friend.

"I know. I've missed you too. This week has been tediously long and boring compared to getting to hang out with April, you, and even Thomas." Quinn snorted. She just couldn't imagine what Rachel saw in the young actor Thomas, but she knew that Rachel would befriend almost anyone. "At least you get to continue to do a bit of comedy on the show, even if you are filming my funeral. I'm stuck doing this beautifully written, but horribly dry, political drama."

Quinn watched her friend concentrate on playing with her hair and sighed in contentment, glad Rachel didn't seem as upset and hurt as she was worried she might still be. And she missed her too. Quinn smiled lazily, "If it's such a dry drama, why did you say yes to it?"

"Tina sent me a handful of scripts when I first got here and at the time this one seemed the most promising for an Emmy nod." Rachel shrugged. "I had actually signed on to do that show before _Steel _so I was contractually obligated to do the filming. Don't get me wrong, the show is great. It's just… the lead isn't you. And the show isn't _Steel._

I may have ruined _Steel_ for you, but you all ruined every other show for me."

"I can't apologize for that. I loved acting with you." Quinn leaned her head closer to the warmth of Rachel's stomach, soaking up the woman's comforting touch. "How did you being on _Steel_ come to be anyway? You never did tell me."

Rachel looked down and the blonde and smiled. "It's totally your fault you know. That I ruined your show. If I hadn't been coming to set to have dinner with you, Shana never would have stopped me to ask if I'd want to come play around on set with you. Her exact words, by the way."

Quinn nodded and let her eyes drift close under Rachel's ministrations. "Sounds like the boss lady. Speaking of dinners, we need to start our schedule back up now that we're not forced together every day."

Rachel's hand stilled in Quinn's hair. "Quinn, no one would ever have to force me to spend time with you. I love being near you." Rachel admitted quietly.

Quinn's eyes slowly drifted open, finding herself pinned beneath Rachel's brown eyes. She always felt like Rachel could see into her soul, beneath all the pain and anger that made up much of who she was when she was younger; beneath her mask and walls now. She had a way of slipping beneath all of Quinn's defenses. It would have been just as terrifying as it was in high school if it wasn't completely comforting at the same time. She couldn't help but feel completely content, maybe even happy in this moment. She wasn't the same scared, lonely girl that she was in high school and neither was Rae. Part of her wished she could travel back and time just to show the younger versions of themselves what a friendship with each other could be like, what they could come to mean to one another. Maybe if she hadn't been so damn stubborn back then, then they would have had this type of relationship much sooner. God knows how many times Rae tried to befriend her, yet she always kept her at arm's length. It terrified her because she felt like she honestly couldn't hide herself from Rae, she was open book and the only one who could read her perfectly, who took the time to learn how, was the one she had fought so hard against. A part of her knew that if anyone could break down each and every one of her walls, it would be the woman staring down with her with something akin to adoration swimming in her eyes.

All she knew is that staring into Rachel's eyes made her breathe easier for a moment, even as her heart raced and her hands began to itch with the need to touch Rachel, to run her hands through her hair, told lift herself up holding on Rachel's neck, to bring their lips together. Quinn stopped herself. Maybe that was why she was so scared of letting Rae in completely for so long, those feelings that always seemed to skirt the edge of her consciousness. The thoughts that filtered through her mind as she slept. Her dreams were always so sweet and vivid that it pained her to wake up and find they weren't true. She remembered how she felt when she watched Rachel take stage, loving the passion she put into everything she did. How Rachel's voice made her feel like she could float off towards the heavens and be perfectly fine with her feet never touching the ground. Rachel was the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced. She was her best friend; the person who both at once kept grounded, and made her want to fly.

"Hey princess, where did you go?" Rachel's soft voice and her even softer fingers running over Quinn's eyebrow broke her from her train of thoughts.

Quinn minutely shook her head and smiled. "Do you know what we need?"

"Hmmm… I can't think of anything I need at this moment, but I am sure you'll supply me with the answer if I ask nicely enough." Quinn's hazel eyes twinkled up at her in amusement. "Quinn, will you please inform me of what we need?"

Quinn sat up and bounced in her seat. "We need a night out! No missing each other; no tedious, boring political dramas; no trying to be funny when attending a fake funeral. Just you, me, hundreds of screaming fans and flashing bulbs."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at Quinn's enthusiasm. "It sounds like you have something specific in mind?"

"Mmhmm. My publicist called me a few weeks ago. Warner Bro. wanted me to come to one of their premiers. At the time I said no because I thought we'd be shooting tonight, but with the rewrites due to your character's extended stay, we wont be shooting those scenes for another week or so."

"What time does it start?" Rachel asked as she picked up the phone next to her to check the time. Depending on the location, the movie, and the studio releasing it, premiers could start as early as 2pm or as late as 10.

"We have to be on the carpet at 6."

"Quinn, that isn't nearly enough time!" Rachel shrieked.

"Rachel, it's three hours away. That's plenty of time."

"Not when I have to call my stylist, find a dress, find a matching…." She felt Quinn's warm hand cover her mouth as the blonde stifled a giggle.

"Rae, calm down. First off, you don't need to go over the top, it's not that kind of premier. Well it is but… we'll you'll see. Second, I have everything already taken care of. Our outfits are in the back of my closet. I've already called Tina to make sure everyone knows you'll be there as well. PR and all that jazz. She assured me that she'd have Wade here with plenty of time to spare, and he will be bringing you that vegetarian lasagna that you said was as close to your daddy's as you'd ever tasted." Rachel smiled behind the hand that still covered her mouth. "Eww, Rae! Was that necessary!"

Quinn pulled her hand away and wiped Rachel's slobber on her own leg. "You can have that back. Now come on, we only have two hours to make you look magical."

Quinn offered her the same hand that Rachel had just licked, excitedly pulling her towards her room. She couldn't wait!

She sat Rachel at the vanity in her walk-in closet and spun around, walking towards a set of drawers in the corner. "So now, you have a choice." She looked over her shoulder at Rachel with a smirk.

Rachel swallowed hard, being momentarily transported back to high school. She would have been afraid of the look in Quinn's eye if the girl didn't look like she was a twelve-year-old hyped up on caffeine and sugar at the moment. "Okay, what are my choices?"

"Costume or hat?" Quinn cocked her head to the side and smiled as she began to rummage through one of the drawers.

"I… uh… I'm not quite sure how to answer that. I will admit I am just a little confused."

"Just answer the question, Berry. Hat. Or costume."

"Right, well, then I guess, since I am most comfortable on stage, and am adept at wearing costumes, since I have done so for dance and theater most of my life; and seeing as how it is difficult for me to convincingly pull off a hat that I am unsure of what it looks like, I will choose costume." Rachel ended her soliloquy with a nod to herself, hoping she'd chosen correctly.

"Yes!" Quinn pumped her fist in the air. "I was hoping you'd say that."

She smiled at Quinn's enthusiasm as she watched as Quinn quickly moved through her closet. "I need you to run to your room and grab that white button up, the one that made you look like a hot nun, not the you stole from Ms. Pillsbury." Rachel would have been mildly offended if she weren't somewhat curious about what her friend was up to.

"Oh and that yellow LL Bean cardigan if you still have it hanging around from high school." Quinn yelled after her.

A few minutes later Rachel joined Quinn back at her room, and glared down at the object on the bed. "I'll have you know that I grew out of wearing plaid and argyle shortly after high school, Quinn. A fact I know that you are more than aware of."

"Yes, and thank god for that, because honestly, I don't know if I could have lived with you if you still dressed like that. I would have had to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers just to be around you on a daily basis."

"Thank you for that." Rachel replied sarcastically as she looked down at the black and gold plaid skirt, golden tie, and dark bunch of material that was laid out on Quinn's bed.

"Quinn, what exactly is this premier for?"

Quinn smiled as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. "Oh, I didn't tell you?" She asked as she batted her eyes, innocently.

"You know full and well you did not, Quinn. Now, I am asking you nicely, before I go and make an utter fool of myself, and am reduced to having nightmares about being slushied again after all this time, why am I putting on these clothes?" She watched as Quinn physically deflate onto the bed next to the outfit, losing the excitement that had filled her for the past half hour. Rachel wanted to kick her self, she should have just trusted Quinn and went along with whatever she had planned. In truth, she _did_ trust Quinn and she knew nothing like that would ever happen again. For one, they were no longer in high school, where there was a ready supply of sticky, dyed corn syrup. And for two, even before they became friends, Quinn had stopped bullying her in such a manner. It was just habits, or in this case, hurts, died hard.

"I'm sorry, Rae. I didn't think. I was just so excited and I know I'm a huge geek sometimes and I just didn't think what wearing something like this would mean, or that it would bring up any hard feelings. I just…"

Rachel sank down next to her best friend and pulled her hand between both of hers on her lap. "Quinn, I believe that you didn't mean anything by it, but I still need to know. Take a deep breath, relax a moment, and then tell me where I'm going and what this costume is."

"Right, tonight is the premier of Potterverse's _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. I just figured it'd be a way to dress up, let loose, and have a bit of fun. I really didn't mean anything bad with the skirt. I just… I knew from past experience it would look amazing on you." Quinn shrugged the shoulder closest to Rachel. "I may not have liked the argyle, or the animal print everything, but you always found a way to make them work for you."

Rachel blushed and smiled, squeezing the hand still in between both of hers. "I did what I could." Rachel joked horribly, hoping to ease some of the tension that had settled around them. "So, I'm going as…"

"Well Newt Scamander, the wizard who supposedly wrote _Fantastic Beast_ was a Hufflepuff so I figured you could dress up as a Hogwarts student from his house." Quinn's excitement started seeping back into her voice.

"Okay, that would make sense, and be acceptable. I do remember their uniforms being somewhat similar to my previous choice of dress. If you think I can pull it off, then who am I to argue? But that does beg the question, what exactly are you going as?"

Quinn beamed as she jumped up and ran to her closet. "Don't move!"

When she emerged from the closet a few minutes later, Rachel's eyes widened. "Quinn, what exactly is that on your head?"

Quinn danced in place. "Come on Rae, haven't you seen or read any of the Harry Potter books or movies?"

"Yes, but it has been a long time since Finn made me sit through them."

"Oh, that's it, you need a Harry Potter intervention. They're classics that must be watched on a yearly basis at the very minimum. If I have to sit through Barbra and Liza movies, you can sit through JK Rowling with me."

"Quinn. Hat?"

Quinn sighed and let her shoulders slump, pinching one of the strands that fell on her shoulder, making her hat roar. "It's Luna Lovegood's lion hat. I'm Lion!Luna." She said in a defeated voice.

Rachel stood up and crossed the few feet that separated them and adjusted the stuffed hat so it sat properly on Quinn's head and bopped her nose with the tip of her finger. "Well, I think Lion!Quinn looks very cute." Rachel couldn't help the way her heart skipped a beat at the goofy smile her best friend gave her.

"Now, if you excuse me, I must go get ready. As beautiful as I naturally am, it's going to take more than a few minutes to make me look magical, as you so eloquently put it. Be sure to see Wade in when he arrives. Knowing him, he brought enough food to feed an army, so make sure you insist he sit with us for dinner." Quinn's smile grew impossibly wider.

Before she knew it, they were being ushered out of their town car and onto the chaos of the red carpet. Fans and actors alike were dressed in their favorite Harry Potter gear. It made Quinn feel like a kid again, one who didn't have all the hurts and pains she did growing up. It didn't surprise her, or anyone else for that matter, that a new generation was embracing the books that her generation had grown up on. There were times when Quinn really felt that stories like the world Rowling had created were her own refuge from the horrible state of her home life. And to get to share that love with Rachel just made it that much more special. She vowed that very moment that the two of them would see every single Potter movie ever created together like this.

Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist as the little diva hit the button on her hat, making it roar and the kids around them laugh and scream. Rachel beamed at Quinn, she very much looked like a geek, but a very happy one. If dressing like a witchy lion made Quinn this happy, she would make sure that she did it more often. Or just embraced her inner child more. The two women couldn't keep the smile off their faces as the slowly made it down the carpet, being ushered along by one of Quinn's agent's lackeys.

Neither women really thought about how often they casually touched each other. Since arriving they'd walked hand in hand over to greet some of the young fans looking to meet a celebrity. They were once those kids and both still would bend over backwards for any child who was an aspiring star. When it was finally indicated that it was time for the two women to begin the press circuit, Quinn didn't hesitate to place her hand on Rachel's lower back and guide her through the maze of cords, lights, and people. For them, it was just second nature. But apparently the press thought it was much more than that, repeatedly hounding them about when they had began dating one another. Rachel was glad that the LGBTQI community had come so far in the last few years that no one even balked at the idea that they, as two women, could be dating each other.

Still, Rachel had laughed at the absurdity of it when they were first asked.

Full on, holding Quinn's forearm to keep from falling over, open mouth laughed at the man's question.

In the back of her mind, Rachel almost felt like crying. If only things like that happened in real life, and not just in cheesy movies. Real life friends didn't fall for their best friends. She choked back the tears and forced herself to continue laughing and soon, the laughter rang true.

Quinn looked down at her, fully amused as the diva bent at her waist laughing.

"No, really, we're just best friends. Rachel is laughing because she's just to modest to tell you that I am out of her league." Quinn finally joked when she could tell her friend was finally winding down.

"Hey now!" Rachel grinned up at her lion-headed friend as she wipe the corner of her eyes. "I'll have you know I am a GREAT catch. I was even listed as one of People's hottest women!"

"Well, god knows, you'd be lucky to date al this." Quinn waved her hand to indicate her rockin' body.

"And you'd be falling all over yourself to get with this."

Quinn laughed, completely forgetting the paparazzi standing two foot away as she nudged Rae with her shoulder. "Brat."

"Snob."

"Baby Streisand!"

"I take that as a compliment! But who would that make you?"

"Princess Dianna of course!" Quinn struck a horrible 'regal' posse.

"Well then, by all means, your grace." Rachel curtsied.

"You two seem to get along well."

"We have a unique dynamic built on years of terrorizing each other." Quinn quipped as Rachel wrapped her arm around the taller woman side and leaned into her.

"So from the looks of it, you're obviously a Harry Potter fan. Can you tell me what Harry Potter means to you?"

Quinn laughed. "I don't know if we have time for that, but I'll try. Growing up, my home life was awkward. I was awkward. I wasn't like the other kids who could just go make friends, I was chubby, and had no self-confidence. Most little girls make friends instantly and play around and have fun all the time. Not me. The few I called friends never understood me and I was lonely. Very lonely. Then one day I picked up a little book called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and everything changed. Suddenly, I found people I belonged with. Harry, Ron and Hermione became my best friends in the entire world and I wanted nothing more than to be taken away from my dull existence to be with them." She knew Rachel was staring up at her in awe, and that her handlers were urging them onto the next reporter, but she felt like she needed to say this, just once. Quinn knew she'd never be able to tell the woman who had created such a beautiful world just what it meant to her, but she could tell a beautiful girl, who was so unsure of herself, that it does get better. Even if she couldn't build a time machine to do so, Quinn knew there were more than a few girls out there who were just like her. And she wanted to let them know that they didn't have to be lonely, that there was people out there just like them. A few of them had even gone on to become famous actors and actresses.

"Throughout the rest of my life they were there every step of the way and we grew up together. I saw myself in Harry with his problems of feeling like an outsider, even with the people he cared about. I saw myself in Hermione, being smart and shunned for it. I saw myself in Ron, as he bumbled his way through things. They taught me what true friendship really means and I always held that in my heart. They taught me the value of loyalty, of forgiveness, of selflessness, even when for a long time I forgot to practice it." She smiled down at Rachel as the woman squeezed her side. "They taught me to never give up. They got me through all the bad times and they made the good times even better. These characters will remain in my heart forever. Even when all the books are printed and the final credits roll on the very final Potter film ever, what JK Rowling and Harry Potter has done for me will always be with me, and I will never stop loving this story."

* * *

><p><strong>Deep Quinn makes me want to hug her. And things seem to be happening with our favorite twosome. Maybe things will start to move forward soon ;)<strong>


	6. Sickness and Comfort

**This honestly started out as a short, filler chapter but it kind of grew out of control. Still somewhat of a filler, with a few revelations that set begin to set up for the next few chapters. See bottom for shameless begging.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Rachel laid in bed, barely conscious, as she tried to figure out what woke her. She knew it had to be past midnight but not early enough for her alarm to go off. All she knew is it was still dark and she was loth to actually open her eyes to find out, even if waking up at some untold hour was highly unusual for her. Rachel listened carefully for a moment before giving up, the pull of sleep too much to ignore. She sighed and burrowed deeper in the comfortable warmth that surrounded her, drifting back to sleep, when her eyes popped open in realization. The sound of raspy breathing, a slight snore that was not her own, echoed through the room. She smiled, knowing that she would recognize the breathing pattern anywhere. A long, thin arm that encircled her waist and a warm body spooned her from behind. She smiled and snuggled deeper into the arms surrounding her, knowing full and well who was in her bed, even if she didn't quite know why. And then it hit her. The body behind her was warm, very warm.<p>

Rachel slowly shifted in her best friend's embrace, not wanting to wake the sleeping beauty. She lifted her hand to Quinn's forehead, only to have her fears confirmed; Quinn was running a fever.

"Oh sweetie." Rachel sighed quietly. She moved from the bed, grabbing everything she knew she would need to treat the sick woman. Rachel kicked herself for not seeing it the night before. She was just so tired from three straight days of ten hours of filming that she didn't think anything of it when Quinn said she was calling it an early night. Rachel moved around the kitchen, starting the kettle for some herb infused tea. While she waited for the water she got out a tray to pile everything on. A towel to make a cool compress from, Tylenol for if the fever got too high. She moved quickly to her bathroom to get the thermometer. Once in the kitchen, she began to set everything on the tray, hoping Quinn wasn't too sick. Even if it was a 24-hour bug, she still planned on calling both of them into work. It would be a hassle for both of their shows to work around, but at the moment her priority was Quinn. She was terrified her lungs might be acting up again and hoped it wasn't anything as serious.

"Quinn, sweetie, I need you to wake up." Rachel gently nudge Quinn's shoulder, hating to disturb her while she was resting, but knowing they needed to get her temperature down. She knew that if a temperature wasn't too high, you were supposed to let it run its course, but she hated the thought of Quinn not feeling well. She decided she'd let Quinn choose if she took the medicine she brought with into the room once they had found out how high her temp actually was.

"Quinn?" Rachel shook a bit harder, smiling softly as two hazel eyes flutter open, glazed over with sleep and sickness.

"Rae?" Quinn croaked, confused as to why she was obviously in Rachel's room when she knew she had fallen asleep in her own hours before. She knew she was coming down with something and didn't want to spread her germs, nor have her best friend worry over her so she had kept it to herself. She knew Rachel would hover over her until she felt better but she didn't want to risk Rachel getting sick as well.

"Can you sit up some? We need to take your temperature. You're burning up."

"Rae, no. I'll just go back to my room. Don't want you sick too." Quinn groaned as she tried to sit up, ready to crawl over the diva to get to her room if need be.

"Nonsense." Rachel said, easily pushing Quinn back on to her bed. It was a little terrifying that Quinn seemed so weak. If she were up to par, she would have fought to get passed Rachel and easily won. "Open up."

Quinn sighed in defeat and scooted up against the headboard, trying not to grimace in pain. Her whole body hurt. Her head was pounding, her throat felt like she had swallowed a box of nails, even her skin felt too tight on her body.

"How'd I get in here?" Quinn asked, trying not to raise her voice over a whisper. It just hurt too badly.

"You sound awful!" Rachel sighed, placing the electric thermometer into Quinn's mouth. "I woke up with you snuggled behind me, which usually I wouldn't mind. I was about to go back to sleep when I realized you were unnaturally warm."

Quinn tried to give Rachel and apologetic look, wanting to say sorry but unable to around the contraption sticking out of her mouth. She was thankful when it beeped.

"How bad?" Quinn asked softly as she leaned back into the comfortable pillows, soaking in the smell that was distinctly Rachel, happy she could actually still breath through her nose.

"102.4. It's high enough to warrant medication for fever if you wish, though it might be prudent to let it run its course."

Quinn shook her head. "Meds please." Quinn hated the thought of taking medicine, even simple over the counter pain reliever, but she felt bad enough that she knew she needed something.

Rachel nodded as she poured two pills into her hand. "I also brought you some tea with honey in it, which you sound like you need."

"Thanks."

Rachel quickly handed her the medicine and the mug of tea. She watched the blonde struggle to swallow and felt her heart-break a little bit. She hated seeing Quinn in pain and knowing there was so little she could do to help. She took the mug from Quinn's shaking hands before she left to wet a compress to help cool Quinn's feverish body. Quinn sighed in relief as the cool cloth ran across her arms, up across her shoulders, before Rachel settled it on the back of her neck. She nodded her thanks as Rae handed her back the tea and dutifully took another drink, trying not to wince as it hit the back of her throat.

"How long have you been ill, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she moved a strand of hair from Quinn's face.

The blonde pressed her cheek on to Rachel's hand, just needing her touch. She'd always been clingy when she was sick, so it didn't surprise her that she'd made her way to Rachel's bed in her fever induced haze.

Quinn shrugged her shoulder. "Didn't feel good earlier, didn't want to worry you."

"Oh sweetie, you should have told me. Maybe we could have headed this off before your fever got so high."

Quinn once again sent her an apologetic look as she sipped her tea. She moved it back to the tray that sat on the table next to her.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep? Or I could run you a cool bath? It might feel good on your hot skin and bring your fever down? Or if you're not tired, I could always…." A warm hand on her forearm stopped Rachel's words.

Quinn looked down to her lap, then back up at Rachel through her eyelashes. She really didn't want to ask. It made her feel awkward and needy, but right now, there was only on thing that she could think of that would make her feel even remotely better.

"Could you just…. cuddle with me?"

Rachel's mouth turned up at the corners. How could she say no to such an adorable request. "Of course, love. Just let me cool down your compress again, then we can lay down together."

Quinn smiled at the term Rachel had used, sure that the small diva hadn't even realized what she said. It, and Rae's doting on her, made her feel warm all over, and not in a feverish way. She rarely ever had anyone around to take care of her when she was sick. Granted, she rarely ever got sick, but the few times she could remember growing up, she'd been left to fend for herself. Her mom would drop off a tray of food and medicine and then leave her be. The only time she ever really remember being tended to was before Frannie had moved away, and it had been her sister, not her mother, who had done the tending. It made her miss her just a little bit more. Fran and her used to be so close, but after she moved away for college, their relationship fell to the wayside. She always seemed to miss her more when she was sick.

Quinn felt the bed dip as Rachel climbed in behind her, laying a cooling cloth over her brow. Quinn grabbed the hand and placed a small kiss on it before she pulled it around her stomach, forcing the brunette to hold her. Even as feverish and horrible as she felt, she also felt overwhelmingly safe and cared for, and that was all she needed to drift off to sleep.

"Quinn? Quinn, sweetie, you need to take some medicine before I go."

Quinn groaned as she opened her eyes, wondering how long she had been out for. "Go?"

"I'm sorry, love, I couldn't get the full day off. There is one scene that they absolutely need shot today."

"Oh." Quinn knew she sounded dejected but she couldn't help it. When she was sick she reverted to the state of a small child. "Okay."

"I made you some soup for lunch." Apparently she had been out for almost twelve hours. "Homemade chicken noodle. And some more tea. There is Advil, Tylenol, some vitamin C, zinc and Echinacea to help boost your immune system, so be sure to take those. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to stay awake, but I wanted to make sure you didn't have to get up for anything, so I brought a few snacks and a selection of your favorite books and movies. There is _Alice in Wonderland, The Chronicles of Narnia, Slaughterhouse-Five, _and_ Atlas Shrugged._ As for movies I brought a wide array of movies by your favorite classic actresses Katharine Hepburn, Sophia Loren, the beautiful and talented Audrey Hepburn. Breakfast at Tiffany's is already in the DVD player, cued up…"

Quinn pulled the garrulous woman into her arms, stemming her flow of words. She was completely overwhelmed and in her vulnerable state, she wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss her best friend or just break down crying. No one had ever put so much effort into making sure she was okay. Know one knew her well enough to know that each and every one of those things were perfectly her. She had no idea that Rae knew a list of her favorite books, movies, even her favorite thing to eat when she just needed comfort. She should have known, out of all the people in the world, Rachel would be the one person to know those little details.

"Rae, you… you're amazing. Thank you for all of this." She felt Rachel sigh against her ear and sag against her.

"I just want you to be ok." Rachel whispered.

"I will be, I promise."

"I just don't like you not feeling well and you sounded so sad when I said I had to leave."

Quinn chuckled lightly as she let the diva go, trying not to wince as it hurt her throat. "When I get sick, I get clingy. I just want to be held, have my head rubbed, and have food brought to me. You've done all that and more."

Rachel looked down at her hands. "I just… I don't want to leave you here alone." Quinn had tossed and turned most of the night and Rachel felt so powerless to make her feel better. She kept replacing the cool cloth, sponging her down the best she could when Quinn had begun to groan in pain. It just all felt like it wasn't enough and now she had to leave for a few hours when all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed with Quinn. She hated it. It gnawed at her chest and made her eyes hurt from trying to hold back tears.

"Hey, I'll be okay. You've taken care of me better than anyone ever has." She motioned to the overflowing side table filled with everything she could possibly need. In addition to movies, books, and lunch, Rachel had also brought tissues, bottled water, Quinn's journal, phone, and laptop. She also spied more than a few of her favorite snacks.

"You even made me get well cookies!"

"I know you love my cookies." Quinn melted at the sight of Rachel's shy smile.

"You really are the greatest." Quinn said, hugging her friend again.

"Yes, well, just remember that when it's your turn to take care of me. I've taken precautions, but there is a high likelihood that I will contract whatever virus or bug that you've caught."

"I hope not."

"As do I." Rachel looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand on her side of the bed. She really didn't want to go, but she knew if she didn't soon she was going to be late. "I have to go, but if you need anything at all, please call me. I can be back here in under half an hour."

Quinn reached out for Rachel's hands from where they sat on her lap. "I'll be fine Rae. Go do what you need to and when you get back, we can cuddle up and watch the amazing, gifted women who came before us doing what they love."

Rachel smiled and nodded, brushing her lips across Quinn's forehead before she turned to leave.

Rachel was completely exhausted by the time she got back. It had only been a little over four hours, but it felt like so much longer when all she wanted to do was get home. She quietly made her way to her room, hearing the familiar notes from Cabaret filtering into the hallway. She smiled, knowing it wasn't one of the ones she had laid out; it was a favorite from her own collection that she'd have to tease Quinn about when she was feeling better. She leaned against her doorway, melting at the site in front of her. Quinn had apparently tried to stay awake but had fallen asleep sitting up. She had slumped over onto Rachel's massive pile of pillows, her mouth slightly open as she snored softly. Her short, blonde hair stood in every direction and the sweatshirt she had pulled on swallowed her whole, making her look so young and innocent.

Rachel decided to take a quick shower and slip into her PJs before joining Quinn on the bed. She was surprised that the woman barely reacted when she readjusted her on the bed. Rachel took the opportunity to just take in every small detail of her best friend's face. Rachel smiled as the woman next to her unconsciously snuggled closer, tangling her legs with Rachel's and pulling her body closer by her waist. Rachel tried to hold back a laugh, remembering Quinn telling her that _she_ was the octopus cuddler. She couldn't help but the way her heart seemed to swell as she was held in Quinn's embrace.

Rachel thought back to the last few months. She loved the time that she had gotten to spend with the demure blonde. She had always been drawn to the blonde, even in high school, but now… now it was so much stronger, and living together just made it so obvious. Quinn made her laugh in a way no one else could. They could talk about anything and everything and often did. Getting to work together had been nothing short of amazing. Rachel made it a habit to never lie if she could control it, and that meant to her self as well. There were so many emotions that she had pushed away for so long, but it seemed like they weren't something she'd be able to run from for much longer; she only hoped they didn't ruin her relationship with the woman sleeping next to her. "I think I'm falling for you." She whispered into the slowly darkening room as her eyes drifted shut.

When she woke hours later it was to two sparkling green eyes staring into her own with a small grin. The two women lay facing each other, their legs tangled together under the blankets much the same way they were when Rachel had fallen asleep. They seemed to have drifted even closer in their sleep and Quinn's hand currently rested on Rachel's hip. It was an intimate position, but neither woman wanted to bring it up, both fearing the other would move. Rachel couldn't stop her hand from lifting, running her fingers through sweat dampened blonde hair.

"I think your fever is finally breaking." Relief filled Rachel's voice.

Quinn hummed in pleasure as Rachel's nails lightly dragged against her scalp. She felt like a lazy cat and swore she'd be purring if she could. It was a good thing she knew Rachel loved cats. Quinn couldn't seem to drag from chocolate-brown ones that she felt like she could drown in. It should have terrified her, but for once she was content to just be.

"How is it possible that even sick you still manage to be the prettiest girl I've ever met?" Quinn felt a small smile spread across her face, knowing a light blush was coloring her cheeks.

"Your birthday's a little over a month from now." Quinn stated, ignoring what she was sure was a rhetorical question.

"Hmm, yes it is." Rachel let her hand drop to the small space between them, wondering where Quinn was taking the conversation. She was glad Quinn hadn't dwelt on her unfiltered assertion. She hadn't meant to let the words slip from her mouth but more and more she seemed to be unable to filter herself. Rachel knew the time was fast approaching where they would have to discuss what was going on between them; just as much as she knew tonight, with Quinn still sick, and the two of them practically wrapped up in each other, wasn't the right time. She knew if they waited much longer, something drastic might occur, and she was so scared it would ruin them

Quinn's hand sliding into her own brought Rachel back to the present and the conversation about her birthday. Rachel looked down at their hands and up at the amused smirk on Quinn's face, almost daring her to say something about their intertwined fingers, and smiled. She wondered if she could still blame Quinn's boldness on her fever and medication.

"You've done such a good job taking care of me and I want to do something special for you."

"Quinn, I don't need a reward, you getting better is all I need." Rachel said earnestly. For once, she didn't want someone tripping over themselves to treat her like royalty.

"I know that. Just humor me. What would you like for your birthday?"

Rachel saw the look of determination on the ex-cheerleaders face. It was a look she had learned well over the years, any time Quinn was determined to get her way. Which was often. Rachel sighed to herself, knowing there way no way of getting out of this, even if Quinn was sick, so she decided to really think about it. God knew she could buy herself almost anything she wanted. She had invested well from her very first stint on Broadway. Between her shows, royalties from her Grammy-award winning song, as well as a few others she had written under a few pen names, she was more than well off. Honestly, materialistically, there wasn't anything she wanted or needed for.

"Come home with me." Rachel said before she even processed what she had said. She really needed to work on her Fabray filter, because her internal one seemed to completely fritz out around the woman. Not that it was nearly what it should be to begin with.

Quinn stared at her best friend in shock. Rae knew she hadn't been back in the four years since Puck and her had separated. Santana and Brittany were in New York. Most of the Glee members she was close to were spread around the country. She still talked to her mom on the phone every few months, but the drama from high school had always lingered, and she'd pretty much cut contact after the disapproval she received when she started dating Puck. There really wasn't much to go back for.

"Hear me out," Rachel begged quietly, squeezing the fingers that were lying between her own. "I only have two more days of shooting, and I know the week before Thanksgiving you guys are shooting your last takes before going on hiatus until after the New Year. We have the press circuit to run for the show, so I won't be surprised if they book some New York shows anyway. I will already be in New York as I was asked to be on a float for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I was already hoping to ask you if you'd want to join me. I was just thinking we can spend a few days in New York, see everyone, go to a show or two or whatever you like. Then we could make a road trip out of going back to Lima."

Quinn sighed as she released Rachel's fingers and rolled onto her back, already missing the warmth of the smaller woman, even if she was less than a foot away. "Beth and Shelby are back in Lima again." She admitted to the ceiling, knowing that Rachel knew as much but just needing to say it.

Rachel stared at her friend's profile, wondering what she was thinking. "I know."

Quinn huffed as she turned her head, staring at Rachel. "Are…. do they still come over for… Will they be there…"

"Yes, Quinn, Shelby and Beth will be there for Christmas dinner."

Quinn nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. She knew they would be but she had to ask. It was a tradition that had started shortly after Rachel began her career on Broadway. She knew that Shelby had visited Rae shortly before she auditioned for _Funny Girl_ and their relationship had grown from there. Apparently seeing your birth daughter on stage fulfilling a dream you couldn't was the key to a maternal bond with said child. She knew how hard it had been for Rachel; she'd been there when Shelby pushed her away in exchange for Quinn's own daughter. She was there when Shelby came back to town. She couldn't imagine what that was like for Rachel. She knew when Shelby finally came crawling back how it had been awkward and hard for both of them –Rachel had told Quinn as much herself. Yet, no matter how hard it was, she couldn't tell her mother no. In the end, it was a good thing. Shelby called her now on almost a weekly basis and no matter where in the country she was, Beth and Shelby had become guest at the Berry's Annual Christmas Dinner.

"I… I haven't seen her in person… in a long time." Quinn's voice broke. She knew that Rae knew that. Quinn made sure she made her Skype date with her daughter at least once a week and when Rachel was around she'd often come over to say hi. Still, talking on Skype and seeing your daughter in person, knowing she could reject you and run away was a totally different thing. She wanted to go, to see her, god did she want to, but she wasn't sure if she could. "It's hard to imagine that she's eight now. She's gotten so big…"

Rachel smiled at the thought of her adopted sister. "I know. My mom sent me her school pictures last month. She looks just like you Quinn."

Quinn looked over at Rachel, knowing the movement had dislodged the tears that had filled her eyes when Rachel's thumb brushed across her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I shouldn't have asked. I wasn't even thinking."

Quinn shook her head with a watery smile. "No. No, it's fine. I… I think… Rae, promise me you wont leave my side." She choked out.

"I will always be with you every step of the way." Rachel hesitated, wondering if Quinn would say anything more. When more tears spilled over her friend's cheek she knew she needed to ask. "Quinn? Does this mean we're going… I mean… are you sure you want to?"

"What the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets. I mean, you only turn a quarter of century old once in a lifetime." Quinn joked through her tears.

"Hey, ouch." Rachel growled, playfully smacking Quinn's arm before letting her smile fade. "But really, sweetie, this isn't about me, or my birthday, anymore. I need to know if you really want to do this, not for me, but for you. Quinn, do you want to spend the holidays with me? Knowing it will mean seeing your daughter, face-to-face, for the first time in three or four years?"

Quinn sighed, knowing it would be too easy to pin it on a hastily spoken birthday wish. The thought of Rae wanting to spend the holidays with her would have sent her into a tailspin of happiness. It was just overshadowed by her nervousness at the thought of seeing her daughter again. "I…. I think it's time. I think it's time I went home."

Rachel nodded, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break out across her face. "Knowing you'll probably get stuck seeing Puck? And more than a few Glee members?" Rachel asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the somber mood that had settled over them.

"God, Gleeks." Quinn let out an exaggerated groan, happy that her throat was feeling good enough to do so, even if it was still a bit sore. She smiled playfully in spite of her groan. "I do miss those geeks."

"So you want to do this, even knowing you'll be stuck in a car with me for ten to twelve hours?"

"It's only a nine-hour drive from New York to Lima!"

"Yes, but I must make my mandatory annual stop in Hershey, Pennsylvania to restock my father's supply of 'the best chocolate ever'. His words, not mine."

"Dad or Daddy?"

Rachel beamed. She knew Quinn was one of the few people who could remember which man was which. Even after dating Finn for as long as she had, he never could get it right. "Daddy."

Quinn huffed. "LeRoy better know how much I love him."

"So does this mean you're in?" Rachel asked, trying not to get her hopes up.

"Yes."

"For the whole thing?"

"Yes, Rae. The whole thing." Quinn sighed, trying to fight a smile. She knew the little diva was dying to show how overjoyed she was but was holding back.

"Thanksgiving in New York?"

"Thanksgiving and sightseeing."

"Driving to Lima?" The excitement in Rachel's voice was steadily growing.

"I get partial control over the radio." Quinn smiled over at the brunette who was practically vibrating.

"Deal! Hanukkah and Christmas?"

"As long as you're by my side." Quinn answered seriously. She wasn't even surprised when five feet, three inches of brown hair and tanned skin landed on top of her, crushing her in a hug.

"This is going to be so great!" Rachel squealed into Quinn's neck, earning her a squeeze from the woman beneath her. "I have to call dad and daddy! They're going to be so happy to see you! And you have to tell Beth! We can have to have a Glee-union and do Christmas carols!" Quinn chuckled at Rachel's infectious exhilaration.

"Oh god," Rachel exclaimed, finally realizing she was still laying on top of the sick blonde. "Why didn't you tell me I was crushing you?!"

Rachel tried to scramble off the blonde, but was held tight by two strong arms. "Nu uh, just stay."

Rachel sighed as she settled back down, her head settling on Quinn's chest. Any other time, she'd be up, planning out every last infinitesimal detail of their trip, but she just felt so content at the moment that she didn't think she ever wanted to move again. Just the sound of Quinn's heartbeat settled her soul. She briefly thought back to the moments after Quinn's accident when she would listen to the beeping on the machines telling her Quinn was still there. Rachel pushed the thoughts aside as she wrapped her arms tighter around Quinn.

Quinn felt the change in the small woman in her arms. "Is everything okay? Do I need to let you go?" She whispered into Rachel's hair, hoping she'd tell her no. She sighed in relief when Rachel shook her head.

"Just don't let go."

Quinn nodded and pulled Rachel even closer to her, silently promising that if she ever had the chance, she'd never let go again. 

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><p><em><strong>!Warning: shameless begging ahead!<strong>_

**I have been **_**so**_** thrilled by the number of followers and favorites this story has gotten, but I have to admit I'm a little disappointed and confused by so few reviews. I wont ever be an author who adds "Hey don't forget to review" on every chapter, so this will probably be my only request in this story. I love feedback, positive, negative; heck even flames, though they suck, let me know if I'm on the right track or not. I'm trying to keep everyone as close to character as possible so if you like what you read, send me a little note, a virtual high-five, or a smiley face. Even if it's just telling me "Hey, your spelling sucks" (because let's be honest, it really does) And if you think this story sucks… well then what the hell are you doing still reading it :) Thank you to all those who have stopped and taken the time to read this story. I'm glad some of you are enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**


	7. Bonus Chapter: Interviews and Beer

**Holy crap man, almost twenty reviews in three hours? Y'all rock, please keep 'em coming. Just because you guys are amazing, and I was bored, I am posting this completely unplanned, completely pointless (but fun) impromptu "interview" chapter. This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands and get sucked into watching clips of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon –you all get crazy, silly, fun bonus chapters. The first few lines of dialogue come straight from Lea Michelle's March appearance on the show. She's just too cute so I had to add them. I'll have a full update out in another day or two :)**

Rachel gave Quinn a small wave before the PA positioned her and waited for her name to be called.

"And now please welcome the beautiful and talented Rachel Berry everyone!"

Rachel let her stage smile spread across her face as she stepped out on to the bright stage.

"Jimmy!" Rachel beamed as she leaned over to peck the handsome host on his cheek.

"Rachel, you look gorgeous! Thank you for coming on our show!"

"Thank you, thank you! It's so COLD here! I forgot how cold New York is in the winter. I want to go back to California!"

"Oh what are you talking about? It's great out! You just have to wear more clothes when you come on that's all!"

"I'm sorry!" Rachel laughed, slightly adjusting the edge of her dress down. It really was cold on the set and her dress left little to the imagination.

"It's pretty simple." Jimmy laughed. "Now this, this is exciting." She watched as Jimmy reached behind his desk and pulled out a magazine with her face covering the front. Even after all this time, it still wasn't something she'd gotten used to before. "You're currently on the cover of Vogue! Look at this." Jimmy said, holding up the current issue. "Just beautiful."

"I was so excited to be asked to be on their cover! I used to read that magazine when I was younger and to now be the person on their cover now is just…"

"Mind blowing I'm sure."

"God, I feel like most of my life is just surreal at this point."

"How does it feel? You started out on Broadway, you went on to write a Grammy award-winning song, and now have moved on to television? How wide-eyed are you with this experience? You have what? Two Golden Globes, a Tony, and a Grammy?"

"Yes! I do. And I'm so excited I can say that. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks…"

"Well, Happy Birthday."

"Thank you. I'm not even 25 yet and I've reached so many of the goals and dreams I had for myself when I was younger. My background has given me so much preparation, a great solid ground. This is such a tough industry and I've been so blessed to be so successful in it. I got my start with my Glee club in high school, winning Nationals back in 2012." Rachel turned to the camera and waved. "Hi guys!" She tried to give a shout out to her old Glee members as often as she could during interviews. It was just who Rachel was. Glee club had helped her get to where she was today and she'd never forget them for it. "Being able to start on Broadway, then helping produce an award-winning song, it has all been a great experience and it's all helped me prepare for the next phase of my life."

"So you're moving on to television and film?"

"That's the plan for the moment. Theater will always be my home and I hope to one day return there, but for now I'm focusing on other mediums."

"You've done quite a few guest spots recently, correct?"

"I have. I've done two, wait, three guest roles. You can watch me this spring on _WhiteGold_, I just finished three episodes of _Trial_."

"And you're currently guest starring on the Emmy-award winning show _Steel _with your former high school nemesis."

Rachel laughed. "I guess you can say that, though Quinn and I made our peace a long time ago. She's one of my best friends in the world."

"That's so awesome!"

"It really is. Getting to work with her was amazing!"

"So you did what? Six episodes?" Jimmy Fallon asked as he leaned over the desk.

"I was originally signed for four episodes but they liked the chemistry I had with Quinn, who plays Detective Ella Riya, so much that they extended it for two more episodes."

"Speaking of chemistry, can I just say wow! You two set the screen on fire!" Jimmy gushed as Rachel fought the blush that threatened to rise. "Can you tell us about your characters?"

"I play the daughter of a Senator who has been receiving death threats and Detective Riya and her partner Alexa Garnet have been assigned to protect me."

"What are we going to see in this clip? Set it up for us."

"I play Carmina Tallman, who is a snarky, independent woman who is none too pleased to be placed under the watch of the Secret Service, much less two beat cops. So in this clip you see her trying to get under the skin of Detective Riya."

Rachel sat in her seat and watched along with the audience. She had to admit, the two of them looked great together on screen. She smiled as the camera cut back to them and Jimmy informed her she was in for a surprise when they came back from break.

"During the break I challenged Rachel Berry to a round of the classic drinking game Flip Cup. But Rachel, I think we need more of a challenge."

Rachel laughed. "I don't know Jimmy, I've never played this so I don't think it'll be hard to beat me."

"Oh, that's even better! Do you think you need some help?"

"I could use all the help I can get." Rachel admitted.

"I was hoping you'd say that. We need partners. So joining Team Rachel is the one and only Scarlett Johansson." Rachel greeted her partner in this weird drinking game with a smile and stage hug, hoping the actress was better at this than she was.

"Seeing as the two of you have long since buried the hatchet, I felt it was only fair to invite your co-star. Joining me on Team Jimmy is one of the stars of the TV show _Steel_, Ms. Quinn Fabray."

Rachel squealed as she turned around in shock to see her best friend walking on to the stage with a huge grin. Quinn wrapped the diva in a hug and spun her around before turning to greet Jimmy and Scarlett.

"Okay, so we're going to be playing a game of team flip cup. Here's how it works. You drink your beer, you put your cup down, and then you flip your cup until it lands upside down. Then go down the line. First team to flip all their cups wins."

"Have you played this before?" Rachel asked her teammate.

"Oh yeah. We've got this." Scarlett assured her, nudging the shorter actress with her shoulder.

Quinn smiled evilly as she reached across the table and shook both their hands. "Good luck! You're gonna need it." She pointed at Rachel and smirked. "Berry, you're mine!"

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Good, healthy rivalry!" Jimmy cheered. "How about Rachel and you start us out?"

"So when she drinks and flips, then I can drink, correct?" Rachel asked, trying to make sure she had some semblance of an idea what she was doing. It was all fun and games until they pitted her against Quinn. Both women were entirely way too competitive for their own good.

"That's right. Okay, everyone ready?" Jimmy counted down and Rachel and Quinn lifted their red solo cups to their lips, both chugging down the beer as quickly as they could. Quinn flipped hers on the first go while it took Rachel three tries. Scarlett caught them up, downing and flipping hers before Fallon was able to get his cup over. Rachel was stoked when she had her drink gone and cup almost flipped before Quinn even picked up her second cup. They quickly moved down the line, Rachel and Scarlett quickly moving ahead of Jimmy and Quinn.

Rachel looked across the table elated as she downed her last cup and began to attempt to flip it. She'd done so well with the second cup that she was sure she had this. Until she watched Quinn lick a droplet of beer off her lips.

"Come on Berry, you got this!" Scarlett cheered next to her as Rachel tipped the cup too far again, completely distracted by her best friend's tongue. Quinn grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at her best friend as she emptied her cup and flipped it perfectly her first try, leaving Jimmy to try to win for them. Rachel finally managed to flip her cup, but not before the talk show host had finished his last drink. She playfully glared over at Quinn who just seemed to smile wider, both missing their teammates landing their cups at the exact same moment.

"Oh! Boom!" Jimmy yelled as everyone broke out laughing, high fiving each other. "It's a tie! We're just all _that_ awesome. I'm surrounded by winners!" Jimmy threw his arm over his teammate's shoulder and pointed to the camera. "My thanks to Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, and Scarlett Johansson. Don't forget to catch Rachel and Quinn on _Steel_ airing Thursdays on CBS. We'll be back after this commercial break!"

**If you haven't played flip cups, it's a blast. Messy, and you end up covered in beer, but it's fun. Remember children, please drink responsibly and to obey the laws in your area. Or you know, whatever. Just don't follow Quinn's example and you should be ok :)**


	8. Frustration and Floats

**A little late tonight but with family, cooking, and a debilitating migraine it's taken a bit longer to get out. I have to thank each of you that reviewed over the last few days. You guys are amazing! My reviews doubled since Saturday! I really wanted their Thanksgiving celebration chapter to coincide with our fabulous American holiday -but one of the reviewers mentioned the name Rae being "innocent and naïve" and well… this happened. I'm still not sure about this chapter but I hope you enjoy it regardless :) Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Edit: Posted on Thanksgiving, edited/extended and reposted on Black Friday**

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><p><strong>Frustration and Floats Part I<strong>

"Seriously Q? What the hell is your problem?" Santana growled at the blonde.

Quinn shrugged her shoulders and tried to bite back the growl that wanted to escape her throat. Rachel and her had planned to spend the holidays together and yet they'd been in New York for four days and had only saw each other a handful of hours. They had been completely blindsided when Tina called them shortly after they had landed at JFK to inform Rachel that there was no possible way they would be able to stay at Rachel's condo. Apparently the building managers had decided an emergency fumigation HAD to be completed before Thanksgiving, leaving them stranded without a place to stay for their first few days in town. Quinn would have been perfectly fine staying in a hotel room together, but of course Rachel, being the more practical of the two, decided that it wasn't worth the additional cost when they knew so many people around the city. And of course, all the friends that she had prayed would be unavailable were more than accommodating for the duo: Rachel at Kurt and Blaine's, Quinn at Santana and Brittany's. On opposite sides of the city.

If that hadn't been bad enough, their production company had gone crazy when they had found out the women were going to be in New York for the holidays and had booked them on every TV show and radio broadcast in New York/Tri-state area and both of their schedules had them running ragged. It seemed that if Rachel wasn't appearing on a show, she was constantly practicing for her third consecutive year on top a Macy's float. She was one of few artist who absolutely refused to lip sing her songs and therefore she "required" as much practice time as she could fit in. If she wasn't on top of a float, she was passing Quinn as they had been shuttled to and from promoting the show. Those were the only moments they had gotten to see each other over the past few days and it was starting to take its toll on Quinn.

She thought she'd outgrown this feeling –the anger and need to lash out. Her skin felt too tight and she was fighting the need to claw her way out.

"Damn it Q, answer me." Santana barked, pushing the blonde's knee with her foot. Quinn looked up with a glare and snarled.

"Santana, leave her alone." Quinn let the look fade as she watched Brittany sit down on her girlfriend's lap, draping her arm over Santana's shoulder. She knew Brittany wouldn't like them fighting.

"Q just misses Rachel." Britt turned and smiled at Quinn in understanding. "I'm sure that Rachel misses you too, Q."

"So you're still Fabgay for Berry?" Santana snorted.

"Shut up S." Quinn growled as she picked up her nail file. She was trying to be better and fully planned on ignoring the feisty woman across from her.

"You're not even going to deny it?"

Quinn snorted. "Right, just to have you twist my words? No, thanks." Quinn tapped the file against her chin as she tilted her head in thought, grinning to herself. "Though really, you'd have to up your game to come anywhere close to April anyway."

"Your soulless, ginger, co-star? She ain't got nothing on Santana Lopez."

She knew she was probably provoking Santana into an argument and as much as she hated herself a little bit for it, she knew that Santana wouldn't take it personally. She figured if they got into a small, harmless argument she would at least have an outlet for her restless energy and irritation.

Quinn could almost imagine April and S in a ring going at each other and she wasn't sure who would win, but she was damn sure neither would walk away unscathed.

"I think it's the other way around. You'd be surprised, Santana. She'd give you a run for your money." She said as casually as she could, knowing it would irritate the volatile brunette. Though honestly, she thought it was true. Maybe not physically, but in a verbal showdown, April might just take the ex-cheerleader.

Santana's comments were cringe worthy in high school; she'd give her that. S and her had gone head to head enough times that Quinn could attest to her cruelness. Even when they were getting along, Santana would make sure to get a dig in one way or another. It was just how S was. Even when she'd grown up and mellowed out to a degree, she was still as feisty as ever. Quinn couldn't even remember the number of insults and innuendos Santana had thrown her way over the years, many directed at Quinn and Rachel's sexualities, even going as far as telling then to "stop making out " if the two women dared even look in one another's direction. But April? April had a way of making it seem so obvious, like she really believed they should be together. Like she was stating what everyone else could see. When Quinn actually let herself think about it, she wondered if it really was something everyone else could see. Quinn lifted a shoulder. "Bitch has bit."

She could feel Santana's eyes on her and forced herself not to fidget.

"Right. Whatever." Santana roll her eyes and Quinn almost choked on her breath, surprised and somewhat disappointed that the feisty woman hadn't risen to her challenge.

"Anyway, you'll see your hobbit tomorrow. We're supposed to meet at Kurt and Blaine's at nine."

"Why so early?"

"We're all going down to the parade route to catch Berry's float and then helping cook. I mean really, do you really want to leave the cooking to the vegan and two queens?"

"She's actually vegetarian now." Quinn responded without a second thought, more interested in filing her nails and pretending not to care.

"Santana and I are vagatarians too. You should totally be one too, Quinn!" Brittany beamed at Quinn. "Then you and Rachel could be vagatarians together! I'd share but S doesn't like it when we do that anymore."

"Damn right." Santana growled into Brittany's neck. Quinn rolled her eyes as she watched the Latina begin to nip at her girlfriend's neck, making the taller woman giggle.

"And that's my cue to leave. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"You're leaving?" Britt's sad voice stopped her in her tracks. It had always stopped her in her tracks. Brittany and sad just didn't mix.

"Yeah B, I'm just going to go find Rae." That seemed to make Brittany happy, even if it wasn't the truth. She wasn't sure where she was going but even if she wasn't starting to feel like a third wheel, she just needed to get out.

"If you hear from her tell her to call me, k? And I promise I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled as Brittany sprung from her girlfriend's lap to throw her arms around Quinn's neck. It helped her feel just a little better. Brittany always gave some of the best hugs and seeing her smile had always made Quinn feel better no matter what was going on with her.

Quinn grabbed her oversized bag and camera and headed for the door with a wave back at her friends. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she really didn't want to sit around and watch her two best friends grope each other with the mood she was in. Quinn felt unsettled and couldn't figure out why her anxiety seemed to be climbing through the roof. She felt like she had a dozen triple espresso and couldn't get her mind and body to settle for even a moment. She knew she missed Rachel, but it felt like so much more than that. She felt like an addict in need of her next fix.

Quinn decided to walk off some of her anxious energy and began wandering the streets of New York with no destination in mind. It was days like these that she was glad she could hide in her hipster boots and coat and blend into the city, instead of being hounded by paparazzi and overzealous fans. Honestly, she rather be behind the camera than in front of it more often than not. She shouldered her bag and lifted her camera to her eye, just wanting to see what lay beyond. She roamed the city streets for a few hours, stopping to take a picture when the mood struck. Quinn really believed that she was lucky enough to live in such an incredible and beautiful world and loved to find the honesty and truth in it. Her pictures weren't always about the pretty shots, but the ones that were the most real. It helped ground her when nothing else seemed to. It had been her haven before Rachel had moved to LA, she'd just grab her camera and wander the boardwalk or walk down Hollywood Boulevard capturing whatever caught her eye. The last few months she'd pushed it to the wayside, more content with spending time with Rachel, but without that tether now, she felt like she needed the solace it could bring.

"Quinn Fabray, as I live and breathe." Quinn looked up from her viewfinder at the sound of the familiar voice and smiled.

"Oh my god Kurt!" She jumped into the smiling man's arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here, remember?"

Quinn rolled her eyes even as her smile stayed perfectly in place. "You know what I mean."

"I stopped by Britannia's loft. I didn't even knock before I realized you weren't there. I decided I'd head to our café and give you a call but lo and behold, who should I find in the middle of a New York City sidewalk, rudely blocking the flow of foot traffic but the she devil herself."

Quinn smiled took in her friend. He oozed New York. "Don't move." She adjusted the settings on her camera before she lifted it to her face and snapped the picture. She smiled as she looked at the picture, Kurt in the middle of the frame, smiling widely as people blurred passed him.

"Wow, Quinn, that's fantastic."

Quinn blushed and gave a small shrug. "I guess it's good to know I'll have something to fall back on if this acting thing doesn't pan out."

"Your acting thing has won you an Emmy. I don't see it _not_ working out anytime soon." Kurt laughed and wound his arm with hers as they began to walk. "So tell me, what are you doing out here playing photographer anyway?"

Quinn sighed and shrugged. "I'm sure you heard _La Concerto de Fasques Sexuelles Lesbiennes_ being performed by one Brittany S. Pierce and Santana."

"I think the entire neighborhood could hear it. But why do I get the feeling that there is more to it than that? You seem very…. morose. Much different from when I picked you and Rachel up at the airport a few days ago."

Quinn felt her shoulders fall a slightly. She had been so excited when they first landed. It had been years since she'd had any real company for the holidays. Then everything went to hell. She knew it went deeper than that, but decided the glossed over version was better. Even that version though, she was sure she wanted to share with the biggest gossip to ever spring from Lima, Ohio.

Kurt watched Quinn's thoughts playing out on her face. She was always so hard to read, but he could tell there were a million things going on in that head of hers.

"Listen, Quinn, I know we're not very close, we may never have been, but we're family. Just so you know, I still happen excelled as a very decent listener."

"Kurt, I just… I'm not sure it's something I'm ready to talk about. Please no disrespect, but I'm not sure I would even if I were ready."

Kurt couldn't blame her. He still regretted not being there for her when she needed it in high school. Everyone had surrounded and supported him when he had needed it, even Quinn, and he truly felt they failed Quinn when she needed them most. It always made him want to try to reach out to the closed off woman, and this time wasn't any different, but he could respect her decision.

Quinn watched the boisterous man side-eye her and waited for him to push for an answer or to throw a diva fit. She realized how much he'd grown up when he finally gave a small nod and tried to smother his huff of disappointment. She couldn't help but smile and give hug his arm to her a little more.

"So where are you taking me anyway?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "It seems our resident diva is having a melt down of some sort. Someone cancelled on her or something, I kind of lost track. Anyway, she had tried to reach you but apparently your phone was off and I apparently look like damn retriever of lost things. Today that thing being you."

Quinn took a second to process, trying to find the answer in that jumbled mess. Once she did, she couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face. "Wait, we're going to see Rae? I thought she was practicing for her float appearance tomorrow."

"I swear! No one listens to me at all. Yes, Quinn, we are going to see Rachel. Didn't you hear me say someone had cancelled on her and she was having a major melt down?"

"I… uh… I guess I missed that part. I'm sorry. So she isn't practicing on the float today?" Quinn asked as they turned down another side street. She was glad Kurt had stumbled upon her because she was hopelessly lost before he had started dragging them away from the few streets that looked vaguely familiar.

"She is." Kurt said matter-of-fact-ly. "That's part of her melt down. That overly hyped, want-to-be-singer, Jonathan Groff was supposed to sing with Rachel on the M&M Broadway Float and he 'got sick.'"

"Right, so are we walking all the way there? Because I'm pretty sure your boots weren't made for that." Quinn pointed down at Kurt's very fashionable but also very high-heeled boots.

"Oh honey, it's not like we are walking to Hoboken, New Jersey. Didn't you know that Rachel's been practicing down at Chelsea Piers? She's meeting us at Del Posto for a late lunch to discuss some hair brained idea she has."

"When did you talk to Rae anyway?"

"When she called me freakin' out that you weren't answering your phone, afraid that you'd been left to die in some dirty back alley. And for the love of Barbra, why must insist on calling her Rae anyway? It's so…. juvenile!"

Quinn looked down at the sidewalk, confident that Kurt would keep them from running into anyone or anything as she thought about how to answer that. She had been so impressed with how he hadn't pushed her before to open up that she decided to give him this one. Really, it wasn't anything big enough for him to really gossip over, and even if he did, she highly doubted that anyone else would understand it anyway.

"I don't know, it's something that just happened a long time ago. You know how stars are her thing?"

"Who doesn't? It's her metaphor. Gold star Rachel Berry."

Quinn snorted, thinking of the secondary meaning of 'gold star' knowing as much as she might have wished it were true back in high school she knew full and well it did not apply to Rachel Berry in any way, shape, or form. "Right, who could forget?" She hesitated for just a moment. "Okay, this is going to, well, I'm going to, have to act like a total geek for a moment. And I swear if you tell anyone this Kurt, I will end you."

"I can handle that. Just don't damage the face. The fans will want an open coffin funeral."

Quinn couldn't help but smile and shake her head. "I can agree to that. Or you know, just don't say anyone and we won't have to worry about your demise." Kurt shrugged his assent. "So this might get a little confusing but stick with me here. What is a star?"

"Do you mean like a movie star or a star in the sky?"

"The latter."

Kurt hummed and shrugged, "A luminous ball of hot gas billions of light years from earth?"

Quinn snickered, knowing that Rachel wouldn't appreciate that definition. "Correct. The closest star to the planet earth is a yellow dwarf star that we call the sun. So if you think about it in those terms, sun ray, equals star ray, equals Rachel." Quinn shook her head. "Ok, wow, that was a moronic, vapid explanation."

"No, no I guess in a way that does make sense."

"Yeah, but…" Quinn ran her hand through her hair. "It's so much more than that and that was a really simple, really dumbed down version of it. In truth it's, well maybe it a little over the top. The only way I can explain is to tell you how I came up with it. Can I tell you a story?"

Kurt eyes lit up. "Story time!" He giggled, bouncing on the balls of his feet. She was sure if she didn't have one of his arms tucked around her own, the boy would have clapped.

She rolled her eyes this time, wondering if her mother was right that one day they'd get stuck like that. "Remember the Metro passes that Rae and I were horrible about using?" She waited up he had nodded. "Well, one weekend shortly after she opened _Funny Girl_ I finally got around to using the ticket she got me. Santana and Rachel were still fighting kind of and she was off on tour with Mercedes and Britt; you were doing god knows what; so I guess Rachel felt lonely and had begged me to come down." The story sounded vaguely familiar to Kurt but he listened quietly as she continued, wondering what this had to do with the nickname she'd given their good friend.

"Anyway, we somehow ended up in this little dive bar with a live karaoke band and of course, Rae had to sing. I hadn't really sung since we graduated so I convinced her to have a few drinks with me first. We drank and talked for hours so by the time that she finally took to the stage, we were both more than a little intoxicated. So keep in mind, I was very, very buzzed when I came up with all of this and cannot be held fully accountable if it sounds stupid." She looked over at Kurt who seemed had been quietly listening, his eyes trained on the people and buildings they were passing. Assuming he's still listening, Quinn took a breath and continued.

"She gets up on stage, and Rachel being Rachel, stuns the crowded bar into total silence with her voice. And she's just up there singing her heart out and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. When she gets up there on stage, it's like, the whole world stands still to take notice. She was up there singing and I was struck blind, yet I couldn't look away. It was like looking into the sun. You know you shouldn't stare yet you can't seem to tear your eyes away. She had this aura around her that screamed beauty, passion, warmth, and danger. I found myself thinking that she's so much more than a star; she's like a little piece of the sun on earth. She is so brilliant and bright and even though you know that she has the potential to burn you, you can't help but want to bask in her warmth. And you can't help but feel warm when around her, like you've been laying next to the pool just soaking in the rays. And that's when it hit me: she's like our own personal little ray of sunshine. That's when she became my Rae."

She looked up at Kurt to see if he understood what she was saying but he continued walking on, still holding her arm in his. Quinn began to wonder if he had even heard her when he slowed to a stop and turned to her.

"When are you going to tell her, Quinn?"

Quinn's eyebrows came together in confusion. "What? Why I call her Rae?"

Kurt shook his head as he reached for the door handle next to them. "That you're in love with her."

Quinn stared at the man dumbfounded, blocking the entrance to the restaurant until he finally put his hand on the small of her back and guided her in. She wasn't in love with Rachel. Was she? She could admit that she was attracted to the tiny brunette. In her mind she couldn't fathom who wouldn't be though. Rachel was perfection. She had the most stunning body, a smile that could make you melt, eyes of liquid joy that sparkled more than all the stars that the singer loved so much. Quinn wasn't given time to process everything that was suddenly bombarding her brain as the diva herself launched into her arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and buried her face into her hair.

Quinn chuckled as she slid her arms around Rachel's waist and hugged her closer. There would be other times to worry about all the feelings that Kurt's question had brought up. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy whatever little time she had with her diva.

"No homicidal maniac pulled me down a dirty alley. I promise."

Rachel pulled back though her body still pressed against Quinn as she smacked the taller woman's arm. "That's nothing to joke about. New Yorks crime rate may be better than it was twenty years ago, but nearly a person a day still gets killed!"

Quinn smiled as she pressed her forehead to Rachel's temple. "You're right. I'm sorry. That's not something to joke about."

Rachel's arms nestled around Quinn again as she sigh, "Damn right it isn't."

Kurt stood watching the scene before him, wondering how he hadn't seen it before. Granted, it had been a while since he'd seen the two women together, but after Quinn's round about revelation, he wondered how he could be so blind not to see it before. Both women had pinged his gaydar more than once over the years, but it was seldom, if ever, that they had rang it so loudly, or about one another.

The threesome caught up over Del Posto's famous lunch prix fixe. It had been years since Quinn had gotten to spend time with the two divas together, and when they had been together; she had way too much teenage angst happening to really enjoy it. Quinn thought back to high school, so much happened in those short four years, that often it felt more like they were part of some twisted fairy tale than real life. She truly felt she would never deserve the relationship they had. Rachel forgave her years ago for all the hell Quinn had put her through: the scheming, the name-calling, the endless slushie facials, all the evil and horrible things she had done. She didn't deserve it, but she knew that Rachel wouldn't let it come between them. Even in high school, Rachel continuously reached out to her.

"So what do you think, Quinn?"

Two brown eyes sparkled as they waited for Quinn to respond.

Quinn tried to remember if she had heard the question at all. She'd been so caught up in just watching them and remembering she had totally missed what they were talking about while waiting for their dessert to be served.

"Uh, yeah, that… that sounds ok?" She responded, hoping it was the right answer.

She began to blush as Kurt snickered. "You have no idea what you even just agreed to, do you?"

Quinn looked between the two divas, wondering how bad she had just screwed herself. "Uh… I… I'm not sure?"

Kurt barked with laughter. "That's what I thought. There is _no_ way you would have agreed if you had been paying attention. "

Rachel huffed her annoyance, though Quinn could see the amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Really, Quinn. This is important."

Quinn reached over and took Rachel's hand into her own, stroking her thumb across her knuckles. "I'm sorry, Rae. So," Quinn resigned herself to following through, no matter what she had just agreed to, "what brand of torture did I just sign up for?"

"You did hear me say that Jonathan Groff wont be joining me as scheduled tomorrow?"

"I… I think I got something along those lines yes."

Kurt sighed dramatically.

"Ok, here's the run down, Blondie, please stop making googley eyes and pay attention this time. Groff's agent called to say that he's come down with some deathly illness but word on the vine is he was caught out and about with a male prostitute and is trying to keep it hush, hush. Either way, he won't be there tomorrow, and Queen Rachel has seen fit for us to rescue her from this huge catastrophe." Kurt rushed out in one breath.

"Us?"

"Have you ever seen the Burt Bacharach, Hal David musical _Promises, Promises_?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Oh, please tell me you're not!" Kurt shrieked.

"Wouldn't it be perfect though?" Rachel squealed, pulling Kurt's hands into her own.

Quinn watched their back a forth, partly amused, and partly exasperated because she had no idea what they were talking about. It was obvious how close the two divas had gotten during their time together in New York.

"Well, yes, it'd be amazing, but who else are we going to get?"

"Are you still in contact with Isabelle Wright?"

"Oh, my own personal fairy godmother? I may be able to contact her. But what about some of the chorus line dancers? They might be a better choice."

"I'm sure we could get Britt to bring some of her people."

Quinn's irritation finally won out over her amusement. "Would someone care to fill me in here?" She snapped.

"Oh, I'm sorry Quinn, I just got excited thinking about it. The first year Kurt and I were in New York, with all that was happening with Finn at the time, and the workshops being offered over the weekend, we decided not to come home for Thanksgiving."

Quinn looked down at the table. She remembered walking out on stage and being surrounded by almost all the people she had grown to care about, before realizing the ones who weren't there. Quinn shook her head and sighed, trying to remember she needed to stay focused on what Rachel was trying to tell her.

"I remember. You two were the only ones to break the promise to come back."

Rachel saw the look in Quinn's eye, even as she tried to look away and felt herself deflate a little bit. It's funny after all they had talked about over the years that particular Thanksgiving was something that had never came up. "You understand why we didn't, right?"

Quinn laid her hand on Rachel's knee. "I do. I just…" Quinn felt her chest grow tight. The ones who came back had dinner together and it was like they had always been friends, always been close. It made her realize how much she missed Rachel at the time, how much she wished they really had been close back then. She understood why she hadn't wanted to come back. It wasn't long after that they'd lost Finn. She just wished that they could have had one more time together with all of them as a group, like they always should have been. Yeah, there was Shue and Emma's almost wedding but they were all drowning in their own drama by that point that it just wasn't the same.

Quinn took a deep breath and gave Rachel a tremulous smile. "I don't know. It doesn't matter now anyway." Quinn sat back and let her smile grow, knowing that Rachel needed the reassurance. "I'm sorry, you were saying? What do you both staying in New York have to do with _Promises, Promises_? And whatever I inadvertently agreeing to helping you with?"

"At the time, I was interning at Vogue .com with the goddess Isabelle Wright. Like us, she didn't have any family in the area and wasn't doing much for the holidays, so on a whim, I invited her to join us."

"And of course, forgot to inform me that not only was she coming, she was also bringing guest."

Kurt waved her off. "Details. Don't tell me you didn't think that party was fabulous."

Rachel nodded. "It was amazing. So Kurt manages to tell me we're having company right as a dozen beautiful drag queens come strolling into our flat. Not five minutes later Isabelle struts in chanting the opening lines to Scissor Sister's _"Let's Have a Kiki"_."

"And everyone but Rachel's loser boyfriend joined in."

"Brody wasn't a loser."

"No, just a man whore who wasn't good enough for you"

"Point taken."

"Rachel breaks out into "Turkey Lurkey" from _Promises, Promises _perfectly mashing the two songs up. Quinn, you would have been impressed."

Quinn squeezed Rachel's knee, remembering her hand was still laying upon the soft skin and chuckled at the light blush that dusted Rachel's cheeks. "She always blows me away."

Kurt practically fanned himself as the two women's eyes locked and both women smiled at each other. He wondered how long he'd be stuck sitting there while they unwittingly made goo-goo eyes at each other. He thought about snapping his fingers to get their attention, but he genuinely wanted to see if they would ever figure it out on their own. If not, he'd have to play fairy godfather and step in.

Kurt looked around the room before giving up. He was never a patient person and they shouldn't expect him to be so just because they were too blind to what was literally right in front of them.

"So you're thinking of having us perform that? On top of a float?"

Rachel blinked before looking back over at Kurt, trying to remember what they'd been talking about.

"Right. The moves are pretty simple. I know you already know it, but we really need a good alto. That's why I'm here to beg you Quinn."

Quinn moved her hand and sat back, crossing her arms. "Rae, I've barely sang since high school. I'm sure you could find much more talented performers than I."

"That's not true, you sing all the time around our condo, and you don't go sharp nearly as often as you used to."

Kurt burst out laughing while Quinn glared at her best friend. "You're not making me want to help you."

"Come on Quinn, it'd be great exposure. You can show everyone what a triple threat you are." Kurt encouraged.

Quinn sighed, wondering how she was going to get out of this. God knows if Rachel got Brittany involved, there would be no way she could say no. She looked over at Rachel, who pinned her with her big, wide, puppy dog eyes. She was so totally screwed.

"That's not fair." Quinn groaned, pointing her finger at the beautiful brunette. "Rae, you know I can't say no to you when you look at me like that." Quinn whined.

Rachel leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder and batted her eyelashes in the most comical, and utterly adorable, way. "That's cheating! Kurt, tell her it's cheating!"

Quinn looked over, hoping for back up, but the grin on his face told her she wasn't just on her own, and hopelessly outnumbered.

"All's fair in love and singing." He quipped, leaning back in his seat as the cute waiter delivered their desserts.

Quinn looked back down at the diva perched on her shoulder as the diva jutted her bottom lip out in a perfect pout and fought the urge to pull it between her own. Quinn looked from Rachel's pleading eyes to her rosy pink lips and back again, surprised to see Rachel's eyes darkening as she pulled her lip between her teeth and sat up, staring in the opposite direction. Quinn stared at her friend in confusion, wondering about the look, but also why Rachel had pulled away like she had.

As Quinn began to pick at the dessert box in front of her, she couldn't help but wonder if Rachel was mad at her. The table seemed uncomfortably quiet and as much as she tried to catch Rachel's eye, the stubborn woman wouldn't even look in her direction. Quinn kicked herself for not caving to Rae's begging immediately. She knew she was going to say yes, not just Rachel was asking, but because it sounded like an amazing experience. She couldn't deny that getting up on a float and acting like they were back in Glee sounded amazing, especially if she could convince them to bring Santana and Brittany along. Granted, if anyone else had asked, she would have turned them down in a heartbeat; but it _was_ Rachel asking and she would do anything for tiny dynamo. Quinn finished off her sparkling wine and sat back, looking at the two divas across from her and nodded to herself.

"So where are we rehearsing?" Quinn asked, breaking the awkward tension that had settled over the table.

Two sets of eyes shot up, blue ones sparkling with pride, brown ones with hope.

"Does that mean you're in?" Rachel asked, elation filling her voice.

"You owe me. Full control of the radio, every song, no complaints, the entire trip." Quinn growled, trying to maintain her tough façade, even though she was fighting back a smile.

Quinn let the smile break across her face as Rachel hugged her from her seat, half expecting the vibrating brunette to climb into her lap when she wasn't able to hug her fully.

"We should go get ready then. I'll call Brittany and see if she will let us use her studio space, maybe get a few more dancers." Kurt rose from the table, giving them both a cheek kiss before heading to the door with a grace most women would envy.

Quinn waited quietly at the table as Rachel signaled their waiter for the check. She looked up at Rachel who still seemed a little standoffish and ran her fingers through her hair, wondering just when that had become a nervous habit she recognized it to be.

"Rae?"

Rachel looked up at the vulnerable note in Quinn's voice.

"Are we okay?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side. Of course Quinn had noticed her pull away, how could she have not; but Rachel wasn't yet ready to explain her actions to her best friend. She'd been teasing and yes, maybe even flirting, but when Quinn's eyes landed on her lips not once, but twice, Rachel couldn't stop where her mind went. She silently begged Quinn to close the small distance between them and when she realized just what she was thinking, she had pulled away, trying to fight down her blush. Damn April and her insistence. Just because they were best friends, and Quinn just happened to be pansexual, and played a lesbian character on their show, and they had shared a kiss or fifty during taping, didn't mean that Quinn actually felt anything for her like that.

"Of course we are, Quinn, why would you even ask?"

Quinn looked at her incredulously. "When you pulled away, I thought you were mad at me for not saying yes."

"Is that the only reason you agreed to do it, Quinn? Because I was mad?" Rachel didn't know if she wanted to be hurt or angry at the thought. "If that's the only reason you did, then you can forget about it. I'm sure we could find someone else." Rachel practically growled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Quinn shot her a glare as she reached over and pulled Rachel's arms down, forcing the upset woman to take her hand. "Stop it. Rae, you know I wouldn't do anything I damn well did not want to do." Quinn said harshly, before stopping to take a deep breath. She bent her head down until she was able to lock her eyes on Rachel's and started again softly. "I didn't say yes because you were mad. I said yes because it sounds like it could be fun. How many people get to say they got to sing on a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float? And with their best friends none the less."

Rachel sighed and shot Quinn an apologetic look. This week had been hell for her and all she really wanted was to crawl into Quinn's arms and let the blonde hold her and tell her everything was okay. She missed her dad's, she missed the warmth of California, she missed getting to cuddle up next to Quinn. She missed Quinn. Rachel signed for their meals and stood up, gathering her coat and bag. She grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled her outside, needing to be away from all the people and noise and chaos and just be for a moment.

She waved at Kurt and motioned for him to give them a minute as she pulled Quinn into a nearby ally. Checking to make sure it was relatively empty, she turned and pulled Quinn into her arms. Rachel felt the taller woman stiffen in her arms for only a moment before they melted into one another.

"I've missed you." Rachel whispered into the lapels of Quinn's coat, playing with the soft hair that barely stuck out from the bottom of the woman's oversized beanie.

"Me too." Quinn sighed as she pulled Rachel closer, the smaller woman's head fitting perfectly beneath her chin. They just fit together naturally. The two women stood in the dirty ally, with the noise and turmoil of the city passing by them, content to just hold each other, living in the moment, when a thought occurred to Quinn.

"Hey Rae?" She waited until the smaller woman hummed into her neck. "Wasn't Kiki B's ghetto version of Siri?"

The sound of Rachel's laughter echoing off the buildings; it's warmth spread through Quinn fought against the cool fall air and won.

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><p><strong>I'll apologize now for the errors in this chapter. Trying to write and edit with a migraine is nearly impossible. I tried to go back and work on it some but I'm still not sure about this chapter. On a good note, I decided to take time to figure out where this story is going and have a pretty good idea. We're looking at another 8-10 chapters. Maybe more. Because I have ADD and shiny things distract me. <strong>

**I will give you a heads up that there will be a (tiny) bit of angst along the way. I promise it wont be drawn out and I will try to keep enough humor and fluff in there for you not to want to kill me. And for those who are hoping for things to… progress… a little more That will be coming in another two or three chapters. *****wiggly eyebrows***** So look for a higher rating soon. **


	9. Part II Frustration and Floats

**I wanted to add onto the last chapter but didn't want to go through the hassle of reposting it, especially when it's already had so many reads, so this is a short(ish) addition to the previous chapter. I wasn't completely happy with the last chapter though, so I **_**did**_** go back and rework it a bit. If you've already read it, it's not necessary to go back and re-read it. The storyline is mostly the same but it does have more lines, fewer spelling errors, and a bit more fluidity making it an easier read. If you haven't read the first part yet… well color yourself lucky that you get both parts at once. Enjoy!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Frustration and Floats Part 2<strong>

Quinn was absolutely overwhelmed. She'd been to huge award shows, attend crazy premiers, had even gone to a few parades out in LA, but nothing had prepared her for Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. They'd been up for hours and their float had only just begun to move. They planned to sing and play up the crowd along the route, but mostly just wave and smile until they reached Macy's and NBC's cameras. The immense noise seemed to reverb through her body. Quinn grinned as Rachel wrapped her arm around her waist and smiled up at her, looking beyond serene; she was in her element, surrounded by cheering crowds, loving what she got to do.

Rachel danced into Quinn's side, her arm wrapped around Quinn's waist. She didn't want to let go, ever. She leaned into her further, taking in the crowds, the echoes of marching bands and parade goers surrounding them, and quickly decided this was her favorite Macy's parade ever. Rachel had spent the last few days without Quinn and had missed her in that short time more than she had ever missed anyone. She thought her homesickness and longing when she first moved to New York; when Finn and her broke up repeatedly she thought she knew what it was to miss someone. Yet these last few days had shown her just how little she knew on the subject and just how much she had grown to care for Quinn. As she stood surrounded by Quinn's arms, smiling, waving, and enjoying the atmosphere, she could finally admit to herself that she was head over heels for Quinn. She knew it was something she would have to talk to Quinn soon, especially when the tabloids were already starting to link them together. Honestly, it was more to do with herself than the public. Rachel was never one to keep things to herself, especially when it came to her feelings. As she looked up at Quinn, she found herself drowning in sparkling green eyes, and decided for now, she'd just enjoy this.

Rachel tucked her self closer to her best friend, leaning so she could be heard. Quinn shivered as Rachel's lips grazed her ear. "I am so glad I get to share this with you."

Quinn beamed down at the small brunette. "I can't thank you enough for this experience. There is no where in the world that I rather be."

As the two women stared into each others eyes, they knew it was completely true for both of them.

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><p>Rachel looked around the full room and smiled. This had been one of the best Thanksgivings she could ever remember, even topping her first in New York. After the last-minute float change, Kurt had decided to have their Thanksgiving catered in. Kurt's prized sideboard table was overflowing with every type of traditional Thanksgiving dishes. She had been overwhelmed with the smell when she had first walked into their beautiful condo. Everything had been completely perfect. The food tasted as amazing as it had smelled. The decorations were beautiful. And the company was even better. She was completely surrounded by people she cared about and one who cared for her as well. The Glee alumni that were in the area were all in attendance, as were quite a few of her and Kurt's Broadway friends. In high school the members of Glee hadn't been overly close. The last few months of their senior year was the only time Rachel could say they were all truly friends. Yet, even with all that happened during those four years, the time after high school is what had truly made them a family. She was sure that it was Quinn who had said that it would be different, and it was. Sure, they weren't together everyday, and maybe that's what helped them get closer, because no matter what, not matter where they were, be it in New York City, or back home in Lima, or attending the birth or wedding of one of their fellow members scattered across the country, they had remained there for each other. She was sure that Finn's passing had a lot to do with that, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew he'd like the thought that he helped bring them together after all this time. These were the people who had become her family –not the ones that were related by blood, but the ones she chose.<p>

She smiled as a scent she would recognize anywhere washed over her a crisp mix of lemon, basil, fresh-cut grass and something that was just distinctly Quinn Fabray. Rachel always thought that she smelled like spring or summer, fresh and warm and new. She didn't turn to acknowledge the woman. She knew Quinn would talk when she was ready and for the moment Rachel was just content to simply watch their friends scattered around the room with half empty plates and glasses enjoying each other's company.

"Why are you over here by yourself?" Quinn's soft voice barely loud enough to be heard over the din of laughter and conversation that filled the room. "Everything okay?"

Rachel looked up to see Quinn mirroring her position, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed just taking in the room. She smiled softly as she looked back towards their friends. "I'm more than okay. Just… happy."

Quinn looked over at the brunette for a brief second before nodding and turning back to the view. "Hmm, me too. I think this is probably the most at peace I've felt for a long time."

"Peacefully looks good on you Quinn."

Quinn looked down when she felt delicate, warm fingers slide around her wrist. She watched the smile slowly spread across Rachel's face as she turned her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"It feels good, too." Not sure if she meant the peace and happiness surrounding her, or the hand pressed against her own. Probably a little of both. "You have a lot to do with that you know."

Rachel leaned back against the door frame, this time turned towards the woman still surveying the crowd, their hands dangling between them. "Feeling good?"

"Mmm, that too. But I meant for me being at peace."

"I can't take credit for that, Quinn."

Quinn smiled over at her briefly and squeezed her hand. "In a round about way, it's kind of because of you." Quinn shook her head, trying to figure out how to put what she was feeling to words. She'd come so far and had gotten better about letting people in, but feelings, or more over, talking about them, was still a somewhat foreign concept for her.

"God knows I was so angry and bitter in high school, I treated you like shit; and before you interrupt, I know you've forgiven me and it's in the past. I treated you like crap and yet you were always the one who tried to be there for me, even when I know I didn't deserve it. You chased after me and made me face myself over and over. For a long time I wanted to hate you for it, but I couldn't, even when I tried. And every time you'd stop me, and look at me like you were utterly disappointed in something I'd done, it tore me down. It made me want to be better. To prove to you that I wasn't just some crazy, evil blonde out to ruin everyone's happiness."

"You were never crazy, Quinn. Misguided, hurting, and so very, very angry, but never crazy. Even before I really knew you, I could see the hurt and the anger that you tried to hide behind a pretty smile and a sun dress. We both made some terrible choices back then, granted some worse than others," she smiled and swung their hands back and forth to ease the barb. "But you did become a better person, the person I suspect was under neither all the barbs and wrath. You did that, Quinn, not me. The only thing I did is encourage you and try to give you a safe place where you didn't have to feel like you needed to hide behind those walls." Rachel shrugged like it was no big thing, but to Quinn it had meant the world, both back then and now.

"And look at us now." Both women looked down to their hands as Rachel tugged Quinn a little closer. "You grew up, Quinn. We all did." Rachel admitted quietly.

Quinn smiled softly as she lifted her hand, lightly brushing her knuckles across Rachel's cheek as she opened her mouth to respond, hesitating over the words for only a moment.

"Rae, you have no idea what you mean to me. If I could go back and change things…"

Rachel smiled and leaned into Quinn's touch, angling her body closer to Quinn's. "Things happen the way they do for a reason."

"Hey, lovebirds!" Santana laughed evilly from the other side of the room as both women jumped in shock. "It's time for dessert and we ain't waitin' on you all night!"

"I'm going to kill her." Quinn mumbled stepping towards her 'friend' with murder in her eyes. Her anger seemed to vanish almost instantly though as two tan arms encircled her waist.

"No, you're not." Rachel laughed as she hugged her best friend, grabbing her hand as she dropped her arms, and pulled her into the kitchen. She had created a slew of desserts over the previous few days, both because she thought they'd all be cooking Thanksgiving dinner together, and as a way of distracting herself from missing her best friend. She looked over at Quinn and couldn't help the way her heart began to race. Rachel was almost glad for the interruption. She wasn't sure how long she would have been able to stop herself from kissing Quinn. The urge was so strong, and with Quinn standing so close, looking so beautifully vulnerable, it wouldn't have taken much for Rachel to close the distance.

Quinn stood to the side of the kitchen island, watching as Rachel set about making sure everyone had everything the needed. She couldn't help but wonder about what was going on between the two of them. Last night, after a grueling day of practicing, the two women had collapsed together in bed, both utterly exhausted. They had long ago given up trying to find an excuse to cuddle and just did so as if it was second nature. Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel as the smaller woman tucked herself into Quinn's side, draping an arm and leg over her, possessively. She was so completely tired that she almost instantly began to drift of to sleep, but right before sleep took her entirely, she could have sworn she felt two soft, warm lips pressed against her neck and vaguely recalled sighing with contentment before drifting off completely. Then tonight before they had been so rudely interrupted, she could have sworn that Rachel was leaning in. She was still trying to remind herself to breath.

The sound of fervent moan broke Quinn from her train of thought and she looked up her friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, my god, I think my mouth just had an orgasm!" Quinn raised an eyebrow as Santana brought another fork full to her lips and moaned loudly. "Berry, what the hell is this?"

Rachel shrugged as she stepped up to the island beside Quinn. "Just a little concoction I came up with a few years ago. It's a double chocolate mousse pie with fresh strawberries and a strawberry compote drizzled with dark chocolate ganache."

"I don't know what you just said, and honestly I couldn't care less because if a pie can make me this wet, you're doing it right." Santana groaned as she shoveled another piece of pie into her mouth, her eyes rolling back in her head as she swooned. Rachel shifted uncomfortably at the thought.

As soon as the plate was clean, Santana dropped it to the counter, grabbed her girl friend, and dragged her from the room.

Quinn sighed and shook her head. "Some things never change."

"Stay off our bed!" Kurt yelled at the departing women.

"Right, well," Rachel sighed as she felt a familiar tightening in her stomach as she tried to shake off the imagery that had inadvertently accompanied the noises she'd heard Santana making moments ago and wondered if Kurt had ever perfected a brain bleaching method. She couldn't believe that had just happened.

"It's the hormone shots." Quinn explained with a shrug. Britt and Santana had decided on getting pregnant and S had just begun taking the shots the week before.

"Oh no, it's definitely the pie. Have you tried it?" Kurt asked, already cutting the blonde a small piece. "I told Rachel she should label it Reine Baie Chocolat Fraise Paroxysme_._ It's a hedonistic delight."

"It's the ingredients. The crust is made with nuts and seeds, and dark chocolate. Both are high in omega-3 and magnesium which helps produce estrogen that increases one's sex drive. Not to mention that almonds, walnuts, and chia sees are a good source of energy for increased sexual stamina. There is a hint of chili powder in the ganache that helps to increase blood circulation and triggers the release of endorphins. And the strawberries are vulvic in appearance when sliced. Overall, I guess that it could be construed as being an aphrodisiac."

The plate Kurt had prepared for Quinn hung in midair as both he and Quinn stared at Rachel dumbfounded. Kurt looked down at the plate and then back up to the two women. "Nope. No. I don't need two sets of lesbians dirtying up my house." Kurt quickly pulled the plate back and spun on his heel, trying to erase images the word "vulvic" produced in his head.

Quinn felt a shiver move sensually down her spine and shook her head. She forced a laugh, trying to shake off the tension that had settled over her. "After all that, I think I have to try some. You could make a killing off the sales if you put that little speech on the back of the box. If it's truly that good no wonder Kurt thought you should call is Queen Berry's Chocolate Strawberry Climax."

Quinn reached over to cut herself a slice when a half-dressed, completely mussed Latina appeared in front of them, snatching the remaining pie from in front of her. "Uh huh, nope. Mine. Get your own, Tubbers." Quinn stared at the departing women in complete disbelief.

"I promise I'll make you one for Christmas." Rachel smiled.

Quinn huffed before a yawn completely overtook her.

"We should head to my place soon." Rachel said softly, rubbing the small of Quinn's back.

"Are we still leaving at what-the-fuck o'clock in the morning?" Quinn asked, leaning into the touch.

"Language, Quinn. Really, it doesn't make you sound like the intelligent woman I know you are."

"Rae." Quinn sighed tiredly.

"Fine. Yes, we are still leaving at an ungodly hour in the morning. We need to be on the road by five to avoid traffic and make it to Hershey World at a decent hour."

"They're open until ten p.m. tomorrow, Rachel. I checked. Why do we have to get up so early?"

Rachel looked around the room, not sure if she wanted to answer.

"You have the entire trip completely scheduled, don't you?"

"I wouldn't go as far as to say completely." Rachel hedged.

"Rachel."

Rachel sighed. "I may have planned a few stops along the way, along with some attractions I thought you might enjoy. I have never taken a road trip with anyone other than my fathers and I thought it would be entertaining. I was planning on getting your approval for each of them first, I assure you."

Quinn shook her head and smiled down at her diva. "It sounds like fun, Rach." Rachel looked up with a huge smile and Quinn knew that seeing that look made it all worth it.

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><p><strong>Look out, we're going on a road trip! I wonder what Rae has planned for them and if Quinn will want to strangle her before it's over. Look for a short update with the trip on Sunday. Until then :)<strong>


	10. Christmas City and Chocolate

**S****o this chapter is a few days late. My bad. I have never been to any of the places I'm taking our girls, but wanting them, and y'all, to have a memorable experience… well let's say when you combine my love of research, my "oh look something shiny" tendencies, and my mild OCD/perfectionist streak you can expect an update to take a bit longer. Hopefully you enjoy this leg of their trip. 5400 words of complete and utter fluff. Part two of their trip will hopefully be up tomorrow.**

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><p>"Uncle! Uncle!" Rachel laughed from beneath Quinn as Quinn's fingers danced over her skin, finding every ticklish spot on her body.<p>

"Doesn't work. You're mine Berry!"

Rachel continued to be serious, though she could barely catch her breath around the force of her laughing. "I'm always yours."

Quinn stopped moving and looked down at the smaller woman whose eyes shined with laughter and tears of joy and couldn't help but snuggle into the still chuckling woman's neck.

"Quinn, you have to sit up." Rachel giggled as she tried to push her sleepy friend away from her.

Quinn groaned in her seat, realizing as she came to consciousness that the sound of Rachel's giggles weren't coming from her dream but from the seat next to her and cursed her imagination. Quinn sat up, her hair sticking up in every direction, still half way between wake and sleep. The giddiness of her dream lingered in her chest and she looked over at her best friend and grinned, sticking out her tongue.

"I can't help it if you're more comfortable than this seat."

"While that's most likely true, you trying to crawl into my lap while I'm driving may not be the safest thing in the world."

"But Rachie! I'm tired and you make a good pillow!" She teased. Quinn's smile grew as she laid her head on Rachel's shoulder and whined loudly, "Are we there yet?"

Rachel laughed and pushed her away again. "Such a child."

Quinn donned her best pout and looked up through her lashes, trying not to burst out laughing as she put on her best child-like voice. "How much longer? I'm hungry!"

"This is why I told you it would be a good idea to eat before we left." Rachel pointed out, seriously.

Quinn huffed and sat back into her seat, folding her arms over her chest. "And I told you that you were lucky to get me out of bed."

"Well, you should be thankful that I let you sleep in a full extra hour." Quinn was unable to stop her smile. She had spent that extra hour curled around the diva. She was more than thankful for that extra hour. "It's a good thing I know your not a morning person. Check your door." Rachel pointed towards the pocket of Quinn's door without taking her eyes from the road.

Quinn reached down and felt her hand meet solid metal and lifted, grinning widely. "I think I may love you." Quinn's quipped not even registering those words as she cracked open the top of the Stanley Thermos that had been tucked into her door. She unscrewed the lid and placed her nose at the opening, content for the moment to inhale the delicious aroma that filled her nostrils.

"Are you going to drink it or just try to absorb the caffeine through osmosis?" Rachel smiled over at the glowing woman.

"I was trying to figure out if you'd know how to run a central line of this stuff. Need it straight into my veins."

"And they call me dramatic." Rachel chuckled and reached for the radio, only to have her hand knocked away. "Uh-uh. You planned the trip. I plan the music. We had a deal."

Quinn smiled in triumph when the diva frowned and placed her hand back on the steering wheel. "Good girl."

Quinn silently poured her coffee, humming softly as the warm, bitter liquid hit the back of her throat. She watched Rachel, knowing that the silence was going to drive her nuts and wondered how long it would take for the smaller woman to break. She'd honestly been surprised that Rachel hadn't even attempted to turn the radio on in the two hours Quinn had slept since they'd first gotten in the car. Quinn waited, slowly sipping her coffee as she took in the miles of road, fields, and houses that passed by them. She knew it was only a matter of time.

Sure enough, two minutes later the silence was shattered. But not by either of their voices. Rachel looked over at Quinn's stomach and laughed.

"Are you sure you're not part lion? Because your stomach isn't growling, the poor thing is roaring at me."

"It's telling you that you better feed it before it decides to devour you. I know you've prepared everything and then some for this trip, so where are the snacks?"

Rachel shook her head, "No snacks for you. At least not yet."

Quinn glared at the woman, who seemed completely unaffected. She wasn't sure when her glower stopped intimidating the little diva, and as much as it irritated her, it kind of made her want to smile.

"Rae! I'm starving!" Quinn whined playfully.

"You are not starving. Children in Africa are starving. Homeless children in America are starving. You are not starving."

"My stomach tends to disagree."

"Your stomach is a rather fearsome creature, so again, it is a good thing I know you so well."

"Yes, you do. Better than anyone in the world. And therefore you know I get cranky if I don't get fed at regular intervals."

Rachel smiled over at Quinn. She knew it was true. Quinn really was like a little kid some times –she was always more cranky when she was tired or hungry. She knew Quinn was right about knowing her better than anyone else too. That was something that went both ways: she was aware that Quinn knew more about her than almost anyone. It was all the little things, things no one else would even think to ask. They were things Quinn didn't even have to ask, because she actually listened when Rachel talked. Not many people actually did.

"Yes, well, I also knew that even if you had eaten before we left, though the possibility was marginal, that you'd be hungry again within a few hours. Therefore, one of our first stops is at Christmas City for breakfast with St. Nicholas."

Quinn snorted. "Seriously?"

Rachel looked over at her for a brief second before returning her eyes to the road. "Am I serious that I knew you wouldn't eat before we left, that you'd be hungry shortly after regardless, or that we are having breakfast with a fictional entity meant to bring joy and happiness to young children?"

Quinn thought about it. "Really, all of it, but I guess I was asking if there really is some place called Christmas City?"

"Well, yes to the all the above, though Christmas City is just the moniker Bethlehem, PA goes by for the holidays."

Quinn bobbed her head from side to side. "I guess that makes sense. I mean, Bethlehem? I'm surprised they don't have a huge star hanging over head leading everyone there." Rachel rolled her eyes. "So how long until we reach the fabled city of Jesus' birth? And please don't tell me they're going to make us eat in out of a manger or something equally as weird."

"You need more coffee. Your jokes are horrible."

"It's barely eight a.m. don't judge me." Quinn bit out, before drinking more of her coffee. "Coffee is my friend."

"So am I."

"If you were my friend, you'd be feeding me right now."

"We only have half an hour until we reach Bethlehem, Quinn."

"And by the time we get there, I may just be hungry enough to eat baby Jesus! Did you not hear the caged animal in my stomach growling at you?"

"I think baby Jesus heard her growling."

"EXACTLY! I need food!"

Rachel huffed and motioned for Quinn to hand her her bag from the back seat. She blindly dug around her bag until her fingers happened upon what she was searching for. "Just so you know, I do this under duress. I really was saving this for later, so you better appreciate it now."

Quinn watched as Rachel's hand emerged from her bag holding an oblong package wrapped in brown baking paper. As she began to fold back the paper she couldn't help the girly squeak that left her lips.

"Is that…"

"Yes."

"You cooked me…"

Rachel scrunched up her nose. "Yes."

"It's real bacon?"

"Yes, Quinn, I cooked you real bacon. I hope you are happy to know that I care for you enough to participate in the slaughter of helpless creatures."

Quinn beamed happily as she bit into a piece of thick, perfectly cooked bacon, too happy to respond to Rachel. As she chewed she nodded to herself –it was official. She was completely in love with the beautiful, alluring, slightly annoying, completely sweet and amazingly talented, Rachel Berry. Anyone who would make her bacon was good in her books, but for someone who despised meat to do so, just made her swoon a little bit. She decided to reward her love by finally turning on some music. She settled on her Christmas playlist to show her appreciation, making sure the first song that played was Rachel's favorite, _Last Christmas_. She had actually made a ton of playlist for the trip, far more than they'd be able to listen to even if there trip went on for weeks, but she knew that there were only three list that she'd probably choose from and all the songs on them had been chosen specifically for the woman sitting next to her.

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><p>After their breakfast with Santa, which as they had expected had been aimed at young children, the two women wandered around the Christmas-themed marketplace, stopping at different artisan booths to pick up small last-minute gifts for their friends and family. She'd allowed Quinn to talk her into observing a glass blowing demonstration and the two women stuck around to create their own ornaments. Rachel had only planned on spending an hour or two in the beautiful town, but when Quinn had begged her to wander the market, she couldn't say no.<p>

"I'm sorry I threw your schedule off." Quinn said softly, swinging their hands between them as they finally headed back to the car.

"Don't be. I know I said I had everything planned, but really, other than one stop, everything is adjustable."

"Are you going to tell me what else we're going to be doing?"

Rachel thought it over as they stored their finds in the trunk of her Nissan Roadster. "Maybe not all the stops. I guess I should have asked before, but you don't need to be back in Lima anytime soon do you?" Rachel asked over the top of the car before climbing into the driver's seat. She looked over at Quinn as she buckled her seatbelt and waited for her to answer.

"I don't know? Do we have to be there anytime soon?"

"I don't understand, I just asked you that."

"Rae, I'm here with you. I'm going with you. I told you, I don't really have anything back in Lima waiting for me, so whatever you have planned, I'm good with. I promised Beth we'd be there on Christmas Eve, but other than that, I'm all yours."

Rachel smiled and squeezed Quinn's hand. "I promised Dad and Daddy that we'd be there for the first night of Hanukkah, which means we have eight days until we have to be home. So what do you say we just play it by ear. I'm sure here are a hundred little towns like this along the way that each have something we could find to do."

"You really want to throw out your itinerary?"

"Maybe not completely, but…" Rachel just shrugged, "The whole point of this trip was to spend time together and with everything that happened in New York, we really didn't get that."

Quinn bit back a small grin, happy to know that she wasn't the only one who had missed their time together during those few days.

Rachel looked down at their clasped hands and debated telling Quinn her real reasoning. When she looked up, she saw so many of her own feelings reflected in the hazel eyes staring into her own, waiting for her to continue, and knew it was what Quinn needed to hear.

"I just want to spend as much time with you as I can before I have to share you with everyone." She admitted with a shy smile.

Quinn's eyes twinkled with joy and unconstrained happiness as she playfully nudged Rachel's shoulder with her own. "Pssshhh, you're going to have to detach me from your side first. You promised not to leave my side."

Rachel grinned and nodded. "A promise I intend to keep."

"You better, Berry!" Quinn said affectionately.

"So, next stop, Hershey, Pennsylvania."

Quinn wasn't sure what to expect when Rachel began to tell her about Hershey Park. She expected that Hershey, Pennsylvania would have a factory tour and probably every bit of chocolate history ever, but a theme park? Rachel had assured her there was more to do there than just eat chocolate, and learn about chocolate, but she'd honestly been surprised by the number of rides and attractions the place had, and the number of people on the chilly afternoon. They had grabbed a bite to eat before leaving Bethlehem and had made good time, arriving in the chocolate capital shortly after two, leaving eight hours of chocolaty fun. She was sure her brain was going to explode from excitement. Right.

After two hours, the highlight of the day had been the "factory tour" which was a highly frightening "roller-cow-ster". Quinn really wished she was kidding.

"Stop it."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and lifted an eyebrow.

"You're grumbling too loud." Rachel sighed and crossed her arms.

"I wasn't even saying anything."

"Ok, well you were thinking too loud then and I could hear it. I know that this wasn't exactly the most thrilling place to stop but could you at least pretend that you're enjoying yourself."

Rachel had never been to Hershey Park, or any theme park for that matter. And yeah, okay, this was probably the most cheesy theme park east of the Mississippi but she was still determined to have fun.

Quinn sighed and wrapped her arm around Rachel's back. "I'm sorry. It's just this is all so corny that I forgot the reason we were here was to have fun."

Rachel leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder. "We can always go find something else to do."

Quinn looked down into two sad brown eyes and shook her head before she even realized she was doing so. "No, you planned this and we're already altering your perfectly planned out itinerary." She turned to face Rachel, running her hands up and down the smaller woman's arms. "I know sometimes I can be a little difficult and I'm really not meaning to be, Rae. It really does me a lot to me that you planned all this. I just sometimes revert to high school where I hate everything and nothing can make me happy and… well it's stupid and it doesn't really make any sense. It just happens." Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and pressed their foreheads together. "Can you forgive me?"

Rachel saw the sincerity in Quinn's hazel eyes and pulled her arms around the taller woman's neck, moving to press her check against Quinn's. "Always."

Quinn slid her hand up Rachel's arms, until their fingers tangled together at the nap of her neck, smiling as she spun the Broadway superstar away from her in a perfectly rehearsed dance move –that they honestly never rehearsed, smiling as the small diva laughed in delight.

"So," Rachel smiled as she twirled back towards the blonde, "now that you plan to be on your best behavior, we have somewhere to be." Quinn hummed in question as she intertwined their gloved fingers and continued their little dance. "All part of the experience, Quinn. And right now, we are going to go experience Santa's Secret Garden."

Quinn shook her head as Rachel began to drag her to their destination. "What else do you have planned for us, my little Christmas elf?"

Rachel smiled back at Quinn. "Was that just a dig at my height?"

"Maybe."

"Well then, maybe I don't want to tell you."

"Then maybe I'll just have to tickle it out of you."

Rachel stopped and looked at the woman eyeing her dubiously. "You wouldn't." She stepped back as Quinn slowly stepped closer. "Quinn, you know I dislike being tickled. It was previously used as a form of torture and I still find it to be…" Rachel squealed as Quinn descended on her and the little diva twirled on her heel, running through the thin crowds of children, parents, Santas and elves that filled the garden. She was almost bowled over as she stopped suddenly to keep from running over a small child. Quinn grabbed her around the waist, picking her up and swirling her to keep them both from falling over. All thoughts of how corny and lackluster the park had been fled Quinn's mind as she felt filled with absolute joy.

"Uncle!" Rachel giggled before Quinn even had a chance to tickle her. "I give, I give."

"Smart woman." Quinn settled her arm over Rachel's shoulders as they walked through the winter garden, even if the temperature hovered in the mid-fifties.

"I am completely brilliant, thank you for noticing." Rachel beamed, letting her arm circle around Quinn's back.

"So, what else are we doing tonight?"

"Well, I figured we might as well spend the night here, since we've planned on taking on our time. The park has a few hotels and resorts so when I bought our tickets, I got us a suite at Hershey Lodge."

"Sounds like a good idea. We can get a good nights sleep, have breakfast and do a bit of shopping before we head out."

"That was my logic. I still have to get Daddy his mandatory five-pound Hershey bar."

"Who in god's name needs a five-pound Hershey bar?"

"Apparently daddy."

"Right. That reminds me, I don't know much about Hanukkah, but I know you traditionally get each other presents for each night. What should I get your dads?"

"Quinn, I assure you, it's not necessary for you to get them anything."

"Rae, I love your dads. They've always treated me amazing, even when I really, really didn't deserve it. Plus, I'm sure if you've told them that I'll be joining you and I know LeRoy and Hiram will have a gift for me, and I just wouldn't feel right not showing up with something for each of them. Not to mention I'm going to be staying at your dads' house for almost a month."

"I already labeled the gifts I got them from both of us, Quinn."

Quinn stopped and dropped her arm from Rachel's shoulder. "Rae…." She sighed, she didn't even know why the thought irritated her, but it did. "I…"she shook her head. It wasn't something worth arguing about, and right now, "I need food. When is this agenda of yours going to feed me again?"

Rachel knew that wasn't what Quinn was really thinking, or even why she had stopped. She hadn't meant to offend Quinn or overstep her bounds –really she hadn't even given it a second thought when she had put Quinn's names on the packages. She wanted to explain it to Quinn, but really she didn't even particularly understand it herself. It just felt normal, like something she had done a hundred times before, though she knew it was something new. She was just glad that Quinn decided to let it go and decided unless the blonde brought it back up, she would too.

"How does a little Christmas dinner theater sound?"

Quinn lifted a shoulder as she shoved her hands in her pockets. "It sounds like something you'd enjoy. I'll just be happy if there's food." Quinn tried to smile but was having a hard time with it.

"Well the rather garrulous customer service attendant informed me when I made our reservation that the lodge we're staying in have a very nice dinner theater show that I thought we could attend."

"As long as you promise not to tell me every two minutes that you could do it better, or that the lead keeps going sharp, or try to join them on stage, then it sounds like it could be fun."

Rachel bounced and clapped her hands together. "And after we'll have to find some hot cocoa and cookies and take a drive through Hershey's Sweet Lights. It's a drive through all these huge Christmas light displays. What do you think?"

"As long as you're by my side, I think it sounds amazing." Quinn admitted softly.

* * *

><p>Quinn woke up with a groan. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd been this tired, other than when she was pregnant, and she was used to running Sue Sylvester's Cheerios Drills. It was like someone had drained her battery and she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through another day of sitesightseeing with the Energizer Bunny still asleep in the next bed. She shifted uneasily as she looked over at the sleeping woman. How could someone look so perfect even when they slept? Seriously, when Quinn woke up, she looked like she was part animal, her hair sticking up in every direction, drool at the corner of her mouth, bags under her eyes. Rachel? She looked like she could wake up and walk onto the cover of a magazine, not a hair out of place. Quinn decided it was totally unfair.<p>

It felt odd not waking up with Rachel draped over her. She'd tried to hide her disappointment when the other woman had climbed into the second bed the night before. It was silly for her to assume that just because they often shared a bed at home, that they would do so while traveling too. She had never felt like she did waking up next to Rachel and it was something she'd grown to crave. It wasn't like she'd never fallen asleep with someone else, it occurred often when she was dating someone. It was that none of them had prepared her for what it would be like to fall asleep with and wake up next to Rachel Berry. It was pure love and joy bursting from every inch of skin that pressed against her. It was the feeling of being dizzy and euphoric as the scent of Rachel's hair and skin lingered in her nose. It was the longing ache that settled lower in her body as Rachel's leg pressed between her own. She was woefully unprepared and yet completely in love with the feeling of the way the smaller woman felt in her arms, the smell of her, the way they fit so perfectly together.

Quinn wasn't blind nor stupid –she knew what was happening between them. Quinn wasn't sure how it happened but she was sure they are falling in love with each other and it made her smile. Rachel had always been an affectionate person, but now it was as if she craved Quinn's touch, almost as much as Quinn felt the need to touch Rae. Their nightly cuddles had become an addiction for Quinn and she couldn't help but want more; she couldn't help but wonder when they'd finally take the tiny step left that would completely change their relationship.

If she were honest with herself it was that step, that small shuffle by this point, which terrified Quinn. She couldn't imagine not having Rae in her life and worried that finally acting on what they had both been feeling for so long could completely ruin everything. Quinn rolled from bed silently and searched for her work out clothes. As tired as she was, she knew sleep wouldn't be returning and decided she needed to work off some of the nervous energy that suddenly filled her. She left a quick note for the brunette, leaving it on the nightstand where she was sure to see it. She looked down at the sleeping beauty and sighed, fighting the urge to bend down and brush her lips across the diva's forehead, she turned and made her way down to the lodge's well-equipped gym.

Putting her worries out of her mind as she queued up the treadmill, she thought over the night before. It had been truly magical. Yes, the dinner theater had been a bit cheesy but it was still fun. It was the type of place she could see bringing her future children, or maybe Beth if Shelby allowed it. She knew her little mini-me would have loved it, especially if her Broadway star big sister was there with them. She'd probably have to hold her down the same way she did Rachel. She smiled to herself as she remembered the feeling of Rachel's thigh under her hand as she kept a hold of the women to keep her from jumping up and belting out the songs along with the small chorus line, not that she was complaining.

Shortly after dinner they had climbed into Rachel's car and drove the short distance to two miles of woods and Christmas lights, their fingers intertwined as they took in the captivating lights. They traded their favorite (and least favorite) holiday stories in between singing along to whatever Christmas carol happened to be playing on the radio. The hug she received when they returned to the hotel still lingered on her skin. If she hadn't known before that moment that she was in love with Rae, that hug would have blindsided her. It was the way that Rachel pulled her in, as if she were desperate for the contact, as if she had been without it for far too long, a feeling that echoed within Quinn as she ran her hands up and down Rachel's back. Rachel laid her forehead against Quinn's pulse point and just sighed in contentment. Quinn knew she had to feel how fast her heart was racing in that moment, but she hadn't commented on it. Quinn simply melted into the hug, allowing Rachel to crush her with the emotional passion that the diva was always overflowing with. She had never had a hug that was so intensely intimate, so moving, that it made her breath catch in her throat and her eyes water with the power of it. When Rachel had pulled away, she had kissed Quinn's cheek before going to get ready for bed. Maybe that build up was why she was so disappointed that Rachel had felt the need to sleep alone, even if she was less than two feet away.

Quinn was pulled from her thoughts as a man tapped her shoulder, asking if she was almost done with the treadmill. It was only then that she realized she'd been running for almost an hour, lost in her thoughts of a tiny brunette she suddenly had an intense longing to see. She apologized and quickly went through her cool down before deciding to make a stop on her way up to their room.

Rachel woke up with a smile, a dream of beautiful hazel eyes and soft pink lips slowly fading from her conscious mind. She slowly rolled on to her side, wanting to have a few minutes of quiet before she greeted the day. She loved her quiet time in the morning when Quinn was still sleeping. She often found herself staring at the blonde when they'd end up lying together. She had wanted to crawl in with Quinn the night before, but her emotions had been too high. Her heart had absolutely ached for the nearness of Quinn but she did not trust herself not to do something she deemed unwise at the moment. The last few days had assured her that the attraction she felt for Quinn was more than mutual. She didn't want their first real kiss to be fueled by her lust and inability to control herself; she wanted it to be perfect when they finally took the step of becoming more than friends.

Rachel started at the sound of the door opening and looked over the Quinn's bed to find it empty and tried to swallow her panic. She began to breathe a sigh of relief when Quinn's blonde hair peaked around the corner, but her breath caught in her throat. Quinn stood before her in a sports bra and yoga pants, her skin sparkling with a light sheen of sweat. She'd obviously been working out but Rachel's brain was having problems processing much of anything as she stared at Quinn's delectable abs. Rachel let her eyes slowly drift upward, licking her lips as she dragged her gaze over the gratuitous amount of cleavage being shown off by the tight black and pink sports bra. By the time her eyes finally reached Quinn's she was almost panting. Rachel almost moaned at the cocky smirk and darkened eyes that stared back at her.

"Did you hear a word I said?" Quinn's voice had dropped an octave. She'd never been so turned on by just a look before in her life.

Rachel shook her head slowly, not trusting her voice, as she fought the blush that was filling her cheeks.

"Breakfast is being brought up and we have a spa appointment before we take off. So you need to get up and get moving." Quinn waited for Rachel to drag her eyes upward again and smiled to herself. Oh yeah, she still had it. "Rae? Get dressed. I'm going to go shower."

Rachel nodded as she watched the woman turn towards their en suite, her eyes glued to Quinn's ass. Rachel fell to the bed with a huff after Quinn looked over her shoulder knowingly and winked, wondering if it was possible to die of sexual frustration. She turned her head as she heard the water in the bathroom start and decided she'd have to take care of the problem herself. Just as she began to slide her hand down her stomach she heard a knock at the door and groaned, reaching down to cup the ache between her legs before she unsteadily rose from the bed. She seriously hoped the spa was all it was cracked up to be because she knew she was carrying a lot of tension and knew there would be no way to ease it before Quinn was back in the room.

"Damn that woman and her gorgeous body." Rachel huffed as she walked to the door and threw it open.

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><p><strong>I was out for most of the holiday weekend and came back to 100 reviews, almost 200 followers, and 60 favorites and we're not even half done! You guys have amazed me with your reviews, follows, and favorites! Thank you guys so much! We're finally getting to the meat of the story.<strong>


	11. Answers and Jealousy

**So I was supposed to be writing a research paper that my professor so kindly sprung on us, but a few reviews asked some pertinent questions (you'll know who you are when you read this). The answers kept disrupting my research so I decided to get this out so the muses would leave me alone. And let's be honest, this is so much more fun to write than a research paper. Seeing as I really, really should be working on that paper though, this is completely unedited. This is my longest chapter yet so that could mean a LOT of errors. You have been warned.**

* * *

><p>After Quinn had treated them to Hershey Lodge's Chocolate Spa package the two women spent a few hours shopping before finally returning to the road. All in all, it had been a fun experience. Rachel was happy that they though they hadn't adhered to her precisely planned out schedule, they had been able to do a few of the things she had on her list. There was really only one more that she had in mind that she knew they were going to do regardless. It had been planned out from almost the moment Quinn had agreed to the trip.<p>

The women agreed that if they saw something that looked even remotely interesting along the way, they would stop. They took turns pointing out billboards, landing them in some of the oddest and most amusing places along Interstate 80. It had been an interesting trip for both of them. They'd stopped by various Amish shops and stands, picking up gifts and little things for their condo. Somewhere around State College, PA Quinn had spied a road sign saying "Giant Cow" and they'd followed it until they found a giant cow sitting on top of a restaurant. Quinn had allowed Rachel to tease her until the little brunette insisted they drive an hour out of the way to visit the home of Punxsutawney Phil, the world-famous groundhog. They had saw a sign for "America's Only All Water Cavern" and had spent more than a few hours taking a boat tour and pretending to be prosecutors lost in a labyrinth maze. In all, what began as a ten hour drive had grown exponentially and it had taken them three days before they had even hit the border of Ohio.

"God, I am so tired!" Rachel sighed as she dramatically fell back on to the bed in their final hotel stay in Pennsylvania.

"You're the one who decided you wanted to go shopping for the last eight hours and then bring every bag up to the room to sort." Quinn spread her arms to indicate the massive amounts of bags and luggage strewn over most of the room.

"Yes, well, one must always be organized. I figured if we got this part out of the way, then we could enjoy the rest of our trip."

"I would have enjoyed it more without having to make three trips to the parking lot to carry all of this up." Quinn snipped.

Rachel waved her off, knowing that a tired Quinn was often a cranky Quinn. "You're the one who refused to allow the bell boy to help bring everything up."

Quinn rolled her eyes knowing it was true. She just hated feeling like she was abusing such privileges. "So how are we going to go about this? Because I honestly can't remember whose bags are whose."

Rachel turned her head to the side and eyed the bags before looking up at Quinn. The blonde stood with her hands on her hips, much like her cheerleading stance in high school, currently glaring at all the bags. She wondered how the look that once made her cower in fear now made her realize just how utterly cute the woman was. The need to hug that look away was overwhelming. Her heart-felt like it was going to leap from her chest and her arms physically ached with the need. And really, who was she to deny herself the wonder of being held by Quinn. She slowly rose from the bed, stepping over bags and around suitcases until she finally stood beside Quinn.

"What?" Quinn couldn't help but feel a bit weirded out by the look Rachel was giving her. Rachel was grinning from ear to ear and looked like she was ready to leap on her.

Rachel shook her head and slid her arms around Quinn's waist and buried her nose in the taller woman's neck. "Have I told you how amazing this trip has been?"

Quinn chuckled and dropped her arms to Rachel's back, pulling her closer. "I know you had this whole plan and changed it just for me. So really, it was all your doing."

Rachel shook her head, moving back to Quinn's shoulder so she could look up at the woman, refusing to let go. She stared into Quinn's eyes, loving how they seemed to lighten to a sea green when she was content, happy.

"I'd do anything for you."

Rachel's whispered confession made Quinn's heart skip a beat, her stomach flip, her breath catching in her throat. It was like all those silly cliché romantic tropes coming to life; things that she honestly never believed happened to people. Yet here Rachel was in her arms making her feel each and every one of them. Quinn moved her eyes from rich chocolate ones, down creamy skin, to Rachel's lush pink lips and back up again. She felt Rachel's breath catch as both of their heads slowly moved closer.

"Quinn."

The sound of Rachel's voice, the one word whispered across Quinn's lips, felt like heaven, and sounded like a plea and a warning. Quinn shook her head and leaned back.

"We, uh, we should get through this stuff."

Rachel sighed heavily and stepped back, wondering what had just happened. They'd been so close and she knew that Quinn wanted that kiss as much as she still wanted it. She'd seen the look in Quinn's eyes, felt the way her heart beat against her chest.

"Quinn?"

Quinn knew what Rachel was asking just by saying her name. It was a question of why she had stopped, why she had pulled back, and it was one Quinn wasn't even sure she could answer. Was she really that afraid of ruining their friendship? Was she actually afraid of intimacy as one of the few woman she dated suggested? She wasn't sure but right now, surrounded by shopping bags, in a nice hotel, but still a hotel none the less, it just didn't feel right. She looked over at Rachel apologetically and saw the woman's heart breaking before her eyes.

"No, Rae." She shook her head and pulled the woman into her arms. She needed her to know that she wasn't rejecting her. No matter how afraid Quinn was, she wanted this; she _needed_ to see where this would go for them. She pulled back and ran her fingers along Rachel's cheek. "Soon, okay. Soon." She promised as she pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead.

Rachel threw her arms around Quinn's neck and held tightly, nodding her acceptance. She felt her throat tighten and nodded again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to cry from sadness at the thought that Quinn didn't want this, out of frustration for the almost and maybes, or out of joy at Quinn's quiet promise. Right now though, she just needed Quinn to hold her.

The woman stood, arms wrapped tight around each other, until Rachel finally nodded and stepped back, taking a shuddering breath. She reached down and wrapped her hand in Quinn's, looking up at her uncertainly.

"Are we going to talk about this?" She hated to ask, but she was growing desperate.

"Let's just enjoy this for now. We'll talk when the time is right."

Rachel sighed deeply wanting to ask when that may be but knowing that pushing Quinn was never the right thing to do. She wanted to be happy in the moment, but right now, she felt like someone had just told her that her dog had died. Not that she had a dog, but if she did, she was sure that's how this would feel. She dropped Quinn's hands and began to dig through the bags on the bed in front of them, organizing the gifts into piles.

"Rae?"

Quinn bit back a groan when the woman didn't answer her or look in her direction.

"Rachel? Come on don't be like this."

"Be like what?" Rachel asked as she studiously kept her eyes diverted from Quinn.

Quinn reached for her hand, stopping Rachel from her almost frantic movements. "Don't be hurt, okay? Don't shut me out."

Rachel's eyes snapped up, full of fire. "You're the one shutting me out."

Quinn straightened her shoulders, trying to bit back her frustration and irritation. She'd gotten a much better hold on her temper over the years, but there were still times it seemed to flare to life. "No, I'm asking you to give me a little bit of time."

"Fine. Take all the time you need." Rachel snatched her hand back and turned back towards the bed. She didn't know what the hell was wrong with her or even why she was getting angry. She knew that this was a huge step for them, and she worried what it might do to them in the long run, but it was a risk that she was willing to take, because she honestly could see a long term thing with Quinn. She knew Quinn was the type who took longer to process and act. Even in high school, she would plan meticulously before jumping into something; the one exception being Puck and look how that turned out. Rachel shook her head, trying to convince herself that she needed to calm down as she reached into another bag. It had to be one of Quinn's. She looked at the double stainless steel shaving kit and lathering bowl and cocked her head to the side. She didn't think it was the type of gift Quinn would get one of the boys from Glee and she honestly couldn't think of any other men in Quinn's life who she would buy something like that for. It was the type of gift you'd get your father, but Quinn hadn't spoken to her dad in over ten years. Rachel clinched her jaw, knowing almost instantly, and the anger that she had almost managed to push back rocketed back to life.

"Who are these for?" Rachel turned angrily towards Quinn, glaring at her.

Quinn looked down at the items in Rachel's hands and shrugged. "Your dads?"

Rachel shook her head, pissed. "I told you you didn't have to do this. I already got them gifts from us."

"Which you shouldn't have!" Quinn snapped back.

"I don't see what the big deal is!"

"Of course you don't!" Quinn snatched the gifts from Rachel's hands and sat them on the bed. Quinn turned to stalk and stopped as her foot hit a bag. She growled and it took everything in her not to kick it across the room. When she was mad, she paced, and she couldn't pace, because of course, there had to be bags everywhere. And it just made her angrier.

"Well then explain it to me!"

Quinn turned back towards the diva. "You wouldn't understand!" Quinn yelled, stepping over bags and around the infuriated diva.

"I can't understand if you don't tell me what the issue is? What, Quinn, did I stupidly make some sort of implication by getting them a joint gift? Did I overstep some invisible barrier? What is the damn big deal? So what? I put your name on a handful of gifts?"

Quinn stopped her trek to the bathroom and spun around. "It's not about any of that, Rachel! God, it's not even about you or us! I could give a shit less about what implications it makes!"

Rachel threw her hands up in the air, internally breathing a sigh of relief. "Then why Quinn?" She asked, softening her voice. "Why does it matter so much?"

Quinn felt her anger fizzle under Rachel's intense stare. She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed where Rachel had been laying. Quinn placed her elbows on her knees and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I… I don't know."

Rachel was on the move as soon as she heard Quinn's voice break. In the few seconds it took her to cross the room she noticed Quinn's shoulders begin to shake.

"Hey, hey now." She knelt in front of the trembling woman and pulled Quinn into her arms, feeling tears coat her neck almost instantly. She ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, whispering quietly as she wondered where this was coming from. Slowly Quinn began to calm. Rachel sat back on her heels and dried the few tears still staining Quinn's face. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"

Quinn sighed and shook her head. She really didn't but she knew that Rachel deserved an explanation. "It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway?"

Quinn looked into Rachel's desperate brown eyes and nodded. "Did you know your dads call me?" She asked softly.

Rachel turned her head a bit in confusion. "I know they have asked to talk to you a few times when we have our weekly calls."

Quinn shook her head. "Even before you moved out. For the last three years they just call, to see how I'm doing, I guess. I don't know." Quinn looked up and could tell Rachel was still confused. "Remember about four years ago when I flew in to New York for Thanksgiving."

Rachel nodded. She had been stuck working for most of Quinn's trip and had only saw her for a few hours on Thanksgiving day but she remembered because it was one of the few holidays they shared together before this week.

"You were working and your dad's decided it was their job to keep me company."

"I remember them being affectionate towards you that night but I never really thought anything about it."

Quinn smiled and shook her head, fighting off her tears. "Your dads are so great, Rae. They're everything my family never was. Open, caring, loving. I ended up telling them about my home life. I'm guessing you must have told them a lot because they seemed to know a good deal of it already."

"I tell my daddies everything."

Quinn nodded, already knowing that fact. "They asked me for my number before I left. I really didn't think anything of it at the time, but shortly after the New Year, I got a call from them. And they kept calling. Once a month, they call, just to see how I'm doing, what's new in my life." Quinn choked on her tears, knowing it was pointless to try to stop them, she let the tears fall. "I never had that before. Mom tried for a bit after Beth, but I never felt that unconditional parental bond with her, and definitely not with my dads."

Rachel smiled, it sounded just like something her parents would do, and she was more than thankful they'd gone out of their way to make Quinn feel special. "I know that meant a lot to you. I didn't know." Quinn shrugged her shoulder like it was no big deal, but they both knew it was a lie. Rachel ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, trying to sooth her, but she still wasn't connecting all the dots. "What does this have to do with the presents though?"

Quinn lightly shook her head and leaned into Rachel's touch as the woman cupped her cheek, wiping her tears with the pad of her thumb. "Remember I told you this was stupid. I just… I never… when my dad was around, we never had holidays like normal families. It was so formal and business-like. The only part of Christmas that was enjoyable for me was the night before, when Frannie and I would stay up late and exchange the gifts we got each other because we were actually allowed to show emotion and laugh and enjoy each other's company. We would never get up on Christmas morning to run down and open presents like you see in the movies. Even as kids, Fran and I were expected to wait until a respectable hour, when our chef would serve us breakfast. Then we would calmly pass out the presents. We only got one gift each and usually it was something practical, but impersonal. The gifts from us to our parents weren't really from us. My mother would buy everything and just put our names on it."

"Which is why it was such a big deal when I put your name on the gifts? God, Quinn, I'm so sorry."

Quinn shook her head. "I guess that's part of it."

Rachel moved to sit next to Quinn, her knees groaning in protest after kneeling for so long. She slipped her arm around Quinn's waist and waited for the other woman to lean into her side before she asked, "What's the rest of it then?"

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out. She still hated being vulnerable, hated crying even more, but she knew that Rachel wouldn't look at her any different for it. Even so, she was almost glad that she didn't have to look at Rachel when she explained what to her seemed almost childish.

"It's not just the name thing. It's the fact that I never got to get my father anything. I never had a dad, I had a father. A father who rarely smiled, who never showed affection, who would rather lift his hand in anger than out of love. Your dads have been better parents to me, just by calling, than my own parents were my entire life. And, I don't know, I guess I was excited to actually spend a real holiday with parents who were open, and loving, and affectionate. Who would open a gift and know that it was given out of love, and that the person who had gotten it had put a lot of thought and effort into it. Whose eyes would light up in happiness over the simplest things."

"And I took that away from you." Rachel felt like such an idiot.

Quinn shrugged. "You didn't know."

Rachel pulled Quinn closer. "I should have asked."

Quinn sat up a bit and wiped her face. "I probably wouldn't have told you. I would have let you do it."

Rachel pulled her leg under her as she turned towards Quinn, her brows knitted together in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense, Quinn. If it meant so much to you, why wouldn't you have told me? Why didn't you say something when I first mentioned it?"

Quinn looked down at the patterned carpet, kicking it with her toe. "Sometimes it's just easier to go along with it. That's how my family was. If there was a problem, we didn't talk about it. If there was something that we didn't agree with, we kept it to ourselves. I'm getting better with it, with talking, but sometimes it's hard. I don't always understand why I'm even upset. I just… I get angry and I don't know why something even bothers me."

"Is that why you pulled away when we first talked about it?"

Quinn nodded. "I was mad. I didn't even know why I was mad though, or why it bothered me so much. I tried to keep my anger from you, because I knew you didn't deserve it. On a certain level I knew you were just trying to make things easier on me, but it really irritated me. I guess I really didn't understand it myself until we started fighting about it."

"I'm sorry I got so mad."

Quinn turned, echoing Rachel's position on the bed. "Me too. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I was angry over you refusing to talk about us and I took it out on you about the gifts. If it makes any difference, I think they'll love the shaving kits."

"Rae?" Quinn hesitated as she played with Rachel's fingers. "It's not that I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it's obvious we're both attracted to each other, I just… I like that right now there is no pressure and I… everything seems to have just developed so naturally and I'm afraid if we talk about it, or push it, that it's going to become awkward and I don't want that."

Quinn looked up to see if Rachel understood and found the woman smiling at her, the adoration and love coming from Rachel's gaze making her want to melt where she sat. She felt Rachel turn her hand to grasp Quinn's, giving it a small squeeze.

"Okay." Rachel nodded.

"Okay?"

"We've played this trip by ear so far and it's turned out amazing. I can honestly say I've had more fun in the last few days than I ever have in probably my entire life. And if letting go, going with the flow, how ever you want to put it –if that's what you want and need, well you've already shown me with this trip how enjoyable that can be. So yes, okay."

Quinn grinned from ear to ear, almost feeling like her face would split in two with the size of it. "Okay."

The two women before deciding to order room service and sort through the remaining bags as they waited. Rachel oohed and awed over the gifts that Quinn had chosen for her fathers, surprised at how well she seemed to know the men. They agreed that Quinn would put her name on each present and though Rachel offered to change the name tags on the other gifts, they would still be given from the two of them. Quinn knew it was the right choice when she felt Rachel crawl into bed with her later that night. Maybe opening up wasn't such a bad thing after all. 

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><p>It seemed as though the moment they hit the Ohio state border, the snow began to fall. Big, fat, wet snow flakes hit the windshield at an almost alarming rate.<p>

"It's a good thing we're only three hours from Lima." Quinn stated as she watched the roads quickly turn white.

"We're not going to Lima. At least not yet. We still have four days left."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at Rachel. "Rae, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I mean, if this keeps coming down like it is, we're going to be buried under a foot of snow in a few hours."

Quinn watched Rachel shrug, never taking her eyes from the road. "I guess it's a good thing we'll be stopping in less than an hour then."

Rachel smiled, she knew Quinn was curious, but she wanted it all to be a surprise. This was the one stop that she had planned from the beginning, and their talks along the way had made her convinced that Quinn would love her surprise. She'd been a little hesitant when she first planned everything out, but she had a feeling that it was something Quinn needed. She was dying to tell her, but she really, really wanted it to be a surprise.

"Ok, I'll bite. Where are we going?"

Rachel bit her lip. "There are a few museums and such in Akron I thought we could visit."

She could feel Quinn's gaze on her, trying to figure out what was going on, and couldn't help but smile.

"You're up to something. I can feel it."

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. Right now though, I would suggest you play DJ for us, because I'm going to need something to keep me calm. The roads are already starting to get slick."

"If you need me to drive, just let me know." Quinn offered, though she hoped Rachel wouldn't take her up on it. She hated driving in snow and knew that Rae had a lot more experience driving in it. She had lived in New York for more than a few winters while Quinn had been on the West Coast soaking up the sun and sand.

"That wont be necessary. I just tend to tense up when driving through it. It's absolutely ridiculous, but I can't seem to help it and it leaves me sore for days afterwards if I don't distract myself."

Quinn flipped through her iPhone until she landed on her "Make Rae Sing" list. If anything could keep Rachel from getting too tense, it was singing along with past Broadway stars.

The drive that should have taken an hour ended up taking almost twice as long and both women breathed a sigh of relief when they finally hit the outskirts of town.

"We can't check in to our room until three this afternoon, but I need to get out and stretch my legs and back. If you're up to it, I was serious when I said there are a few museums in the area."

Quinn nodded. "Long as we can find a coffee house or something before hand. I don't know how you did it Rae, I'm a freakin' mess over here and I wasn't even driving."

"Try driving in snow like this in New York. This was a cake walk."

"Right. No thanks. That's why I get a driver when I'm in NYC."

The two women stepped from the car with a moaning with pleasure as they stretched. Quinn tucked Rachel into her side as they lazily began to wander the historic district of Akon. Rachel pointed out a sign for Mocha Maiden on the side of a building and the two women followed an alley until they reached the door of the Musica Urban Café. Quinn shrugged and opened the door, happy to get out of the snow for a few minutes. They each ordered their drinks and looked around the hipster-esque coffee house. Quinn rolled her eyes at the played out décor but figured she was just jaded after years of living in LA.

"Do you guys have concerts here?" She asked the barista as she pointed out a poster for The Lonesome Sound.

"Musica has shows almost every weekend. Arlo and the Lonesome will be playing in a few days."

"I saw them in Cincinnati a few years ago. They have a really unique sound."

"Yeah, they're folksy but have some awesome lyrics."

"I loved their acoustic vibe."

"Right? The raw sound of their bass and banjo?"

Rachel watched the barista smile at Quinn and fought down her irritation. The woman was blatantly flirting with Quinn and Quinn seemed to be eating it up, smiling right back. She lost track of their conversation as the two talked about other bands she had never heard of.

She almost growled at the woman as she watched her purposely brush her hand against Quinn's as she handed her their order. "Indigo Wild will be here tomorrow night. Maybe you'd like to come see them?"

Quinn felt Rachel step up closer to her and place her hand on her back and raised an eyebrow. She looked at Rachel in question before turning back to the woman and answering. "Uh, yeah, maybe."

"Sweet. Let me give you my number and you can text me if you decide to come. We can get some coffee or something?"

Rachel did her best not to stomp her foot –like really, was she invisible or something? How dare the woman flirt with her… her… friend right in front of her.

"Actually, _we_ wont be in town at the time." Rachel growled out, glaring at the woman behind the counter and almost climbed over the counter as the woman smirked in challenge and slid a piece of paper in front of Quinn.

"Yeah, no worries, take it anyway and if you're ever back in town, give me a call."

Quinn finally clued in on what was going on and bit back a smile. Rachel was positively fuming and she had a feeling if her hand went anywhere near that paper, not only would the woman explode, but she'd be in the dog house before their relationship even began.

Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's back in reassurance and smiled up at the woman who, she realized belatedly, had been flirting with her.

"The show sounds awesome, but I'll have to pass. Rae here isn't a big fan of indie rock." She made sure to emphasize her meaning as she squeezed the woman next to her. "Got to keep the lady happy."

Rachel smiled and stood on her tippy toes, brushing her lips across the corner of Quinn's mouth. "You do make me happy."

Quinn beamed as she smiled down at Rachel, her skin tingling where Rachel had kissed her. "I try."

Rachel put her head on Quinn's shoulder and smiled up at the barista, letting her know that she won. The woman nodded, smiling at the two in front of her, letting Rachel know she got it.

"Well, now that I have been properly put in my place," The woman grinned, "would it be a bad thing to ask for an autograph from you both?"

Rachel look at the woman and laughed, holding on to Quinn's arm to keep from falling over. Quinn shook her head as she smiled at Rachel's hysterical laughing, watching as she wiped her eyes and stood up. "Oh, god, you know what? Just for having the balls to ask that, yes, you may."

"So you guys really do have a thing outside _Steel_ then?"

Quinn shrugged as she took the pen the barista offered. "You knew who we were the whole time?"

"You guys are like the hottest thing out there right now. I'd have to be living under a rock not to. Rachel has a voice to die for, you are drop dead gorgeous, and _Steel _is the best show out right now. Last night's episode was hot!"

"Which one was on?" Rachel asked as she took the pen from Quinn, smiling at what the woman had written. _Great taste in music, even better taste in women! Next time try for one without an even more beautiful woman on her arm ~Quinn Fabray_

"You two, on the bed, hot and heavy. I swear, you guys almost melted my screen you were so hot. Sorry for making a move on your woman, but I just had to try."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not the jealous type." Rachel shook her head as she pushed the paper across, earning her a small laugh from both women.

"It was great meeting both of you. Thanks for this."

"You're welcome. And if you could please keep this to yourself." Rachel asked, pointing between Quinn and her. "We're not exactly ready to be hounded by the press just yet."

"Yeah, sure, no problem." The woman agreed, waving as the two actresses turned towards the door.

"Not jealous my ass." Quinn chuckled as they made it back out into the snowy day. 

* * *

><p>After visiting the small but entertaining art museum the two women decided on a late lunch before checking in. The snow was still coming down and Quinn had begun to worry about how it would affect their travel plans. Hopefully the roads would be plowed by morning. Quinn smiled and looked at Rachel in question as they pulled up to a Victorian farmhouse with a sign swinging out front the read The Whimsical Pig.<p>

"A B&B?" Quinn asked, taking in the quaint home.

"I thought we'd stayed in enough hotels along the way." Rachel said in lieu of an explanation.

"It looks cute." Quinn admitted as she stepped out of the car. The bed and breakfast was welcoming with its understated holiday decorations running along the picket fence surrounding its front yard and placed sparsely along the front porch. The two women quickly made their way inside out of the cold and snow, nearly falling into each other as a grey cat flew passed the door.

"Sorry about that, Lily tends to enjoy giving our guest a start."

Rachel smiled up at the woman greeting them from behind a small counter. "It's not a problem. It's just good to get out of the snow."

"It's not supposed to let up any time soon. They're already talking about shutting down the highway if it keeps up, so it's a good thing you made it into town when you did. And just in time for our afternoon wine and cheese."

Quinn was glad that they'd stopped if that was the case. Wine and cheese were just an added bonus. The two women were quickly checked in and waved off help with their luggage as the older woman showed them to their room and informed them of when breakfast was the next morning.

"We usually don't offer supper unless requested specially but if we do end up getting snowed in tonight, all of our guest are more than welcome to join Ron and I."

"Thank you Susan, we'll be sure to let you know before hand."

"Of course. And please join us for a glass of wine in the parlor once you're settled." Susan backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Quinn looked around their sitting room, loving that they had their own fireplace and the holiday knick knacks that cluttered the mantel above it.

"I hope you don't mind sharing a bed. This place was too perfect to pass up." Rachel said as they walked into the main bedroom area, complete with a canopied, king sized bed.

"Yes, because we've never slept together." Quinn quipped.

"Well, technically, we haven't." Quinn stopped dead in her tracks as the leer the small brunette gave her and felt a shiver run down her spine.

"You are going to be the death of me."

She nearly passed out when Rachel leaned close to her ear and whispered seductively, "Oh, but what a beautiful way to go."

She cursed under her breath as the diva danced from under her hands. "Why don't we unpack later? I'm feeling a bit peckish and I'm hoping the have a vegetarian cheese or some crackers I can snack on."

After the scene at the coffee house, Rachel decided that though she disliked playing games, she was willing to tease the blonde into submission. She couldn't help but wonder how long it was going to take to push Quinn to her breaking point. Rachel was all for taking things slowly and letting them develop naturally, but she also was anything but a patient person and if a little shameless flirting and innuendos helped moved things along, well then, so be it.

"Are you coming?" She heard Quinn groan as she stepped back into the sitting area and stripped off her coat and scarf.

"Go ahead. I'll be down in a bit."

The muffled reply peaked her interest and she stuck her head into the room to find Quinn laying face down on their bed. She smiled at the prone woman and debated if she wanted to push or wait. She decided to give Quinn a small break and nodded.

"If you're sure?"

Quinn turned her head and looked at the brunette propped against the wall, running her eyes up and down the beautiful body that moments ago had been hidden under multiple layers. She watched Rachel watching her and couldn't help but flush under the heated gaze.

"I think I'm going to take a quick shower, then I'll meet you down there. Or you could come back up here and we could figure out what we're going to do."

Rachel hummed to herself and agreed, seeing herself out of the room, leaving behind a frustrated woman. Quinn decided to get up head to take a cold shower when her phone began to ring. She looked at the ID and grumbled, knowing if she didn't answer, the caller would just keep trying. She slid her finger across the screen and lifted it to her ear.

"Santana."

"Where the hell are you!? You left two days before us and you still ain't home. Did you finally tie up the midget and have your way with her?"

"Santana!"

"What? Like it wasn't completely obvious you two wanted to jump each other's bones."

"God, do you always have to be so crass?"

"Just telling it likes it is. So? Did you?"

"No, S. And no matter what you think, we never looked at each other like we wanted to 'jump each other's bones.'"

"Whatev. You guys have looked at each other like that since high school."

"You're insane."

"And you're blind. I swear I've never met a bigger pair of pressed lemons in my entire life."

"Pressed lemons?"

"I ain't got time to explain it to you. Just tell me when you're going to be home and what the hell is taking you so damn long to get here. Britt is beginning to worry you all drove into a pipe on the way here."

"A pipe?"

"Ditch. Ok, she couldn't remember the word for ditch. No, stop worrying my girl before I kick your ass and answer the question."

Quinn shrugged and then realized Santana couldn't see it. "We decided to take our time."

"On the trip or with your relationship, 'cause I don't think you could go any slower with that."

"Lay off, S. Tell B we're okay. We haven't driven into a ditch. And no we're not having dirty sexual escapades. Neither of us have had a lot of time off the last few years, so we're taking our time and seeing some sights on the way home."

"Hell, I'd be happy with y'alls having straight up white vanilla sex at this point. Just being around you two is like being back in a McKinley classroom with a bunch of horny, sexually repressed, teenagers. And now I owe Kurt $20."

"What did you bet on this time?"

"If you and the hobbit had finally become unpressed. Mama is yelling at me to get off the phone, so hurry up and tell me when you'll be back."

"I'm not sure. We made it to Akron but it's looking like we're going to be snowed in and I'm not sure how long Rachel is wanting to stay here. I know one way or another we'll be back by Saturday at the latest."

"Damn it, we're only here for the week. B has too many shows around the holidays to take off, so we're doing our Christmas this week. She's going to be so disappointed not to see you guys."

"How about we plan on meeting up for New Years then?"

Santana grunted her agreement and told Quinn she'd call her soon before hanging up. Quinn decided that a phone call from Santana was almost better than a cold shower and made her way downstairs. Quinn and Rachel spent the afternoon enjoying the company of the few guest who had made it in and the innkeepers' cats before deciding to try and brave the elements for dinner. Quinn told Rachel about their possible New Years plans over supper and was happy that Rachel seemed to want to join their friends for the holiday.

"So, I may have done something." Rachel admitted after checking her phone when they returned to her room.

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked as she tried to work the fireplace. Quinn looked up as she heard a knock on the door and watched Rachel shift from one foot to another nervously as she bit her lip.

"Please don't be mad at me."

Quinn stood up fearfully as Rachel moved to the door. As she opened it Quinn felt her heart begin to race at the face staring back at her. It was almost like looking in the mirror ten years in the future.

"Hello, Luce."

"Fran?" Quinn couldn't move her feet and felt her chest tighten. She hadn't seen her sister in more years than she could remember and seeing her standing in their doorway now was overwhelming.

"Quinn?"

Quinn looked over at Rachel who looked back nervously, concern filling her gaze.

As soon as Rachel saw the tears filling Quinn's eyes she made her way across the room. "Oh god, I'm sorry, this was a mistake wasn't it?"

Quinn shook her head and looked passed Rachel to where her sister still stood, looking terrified and unsure of herself. She moved her eyes from one woman to the other in wonder and shock, her smile breaking across her face as a tear rolled down her cheek. She squeezed Rachel's hand as she stepped around her, towards the only happy part of her childhood.

"Frannie."

Fran quickly stepped into her little sisters arms, holding the sobbing woman to her chest. She smiled over at the other woman in the room through watery eyes as she clutched her sister to her tightly.

Rachel let out the breath she had been holding since she first gotten the text that Fran had made it down from Cincinnati. She was so sure this would be good for Quinn but had a last minute fear that she'd gone too far this time, a fear that she thought was justified when she'd saw the tears in Quinn's eyes. Now looking at the two women embracing, she was glad she'd taken the chance. Just like a relationship with Quinn, it had the chance to end horribly, but the results could also be breathtakingly perfect. She nodded to Fran and moved to leave the room, brushing her hand over Quinn's back as she made her way to the open door.

"Rae?"

Rachel turned her head back. Quinn still clung to her sister but the smile she sent Rachel made the smaller woman's heart burst.

"Thank you." 

* * *

><p><strong>I never liked that we didn't learn more about Quinn's sister on the show. So lots going on in this chapter. I really thought that their trip would be almost over by now, but apparently the girls had other ideas. Have to love when your character decide to change everything up on you. And yes, I know, they STILL haven't kissed but you're not allowed to strangle me, because then they never will. Would it make you feel better if I promise it WILL happen in the next chapter?<strong>

**Also, I'm in need of a bit of help. Other than the basics, I know very little about Hanukkah and while Google has a wealth of information, I'm sure I have some readers who could do the search engine one better. If any of your would be kind enough to PM your own personal experiences, traditions, memories, gift idea, etc. I would greatly appreciate it. Anything you guys could share would be tremendously helpful!**


	12. Sisters and Sledding

"You're trembling."

Quinn felt the words reverberate through her, feeling them against her cheek as she held herself to her sister's chest. She still couldn't believe that this was happening, that her sister was in her arms, that Rae had found her.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

Quinn hesitated for only a moment before she whispered her answer into the quiet of the room. "That if I let go, you'll disappear again."

She felt strong arms tighten around her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn felt her breath catch in her throat and she hugged her sister tighter before letting go. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

She had barely take a step away when her sister grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

"Listen, Quinn, I know I haven't been there. I haven't been there for a long time. I wasn't there when you needed me the most and there is no way I can even attempt to apologize. I could make a ton of excuses, but right now, none of them would matter. But I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn shook her head, wanting to believe that, but she needed to know. Quinn looked up into the face that reminded her so much of her own and saw the echo of sadness and pain in the woman's blue eyes.

"Even if I'm gay?" The question slipped passed her lips before she even registered the words but she wouldn't take them back. She wanted all of her cards on the table before they went any further. If her sister left now, it would hurt, but it was a hurt she could survive. She needed to know how true that was before she got too attached again. Quinn wasn't sure how she would handle just getting her sister back in her life, only for her to turn her away when she found out things she didn't like.

She watched Fran's face for any sign of disgust or horror, but the look on her sister's face never changed.

"I guess that would depend? Are you?"

Quinn stood, watching her sister, whose face gave away nothing. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise, Fran."

"Well, that's a start."

She watched as the corner's of Fran's mouth turned up as she looked at her in confusion. Fran grabbed her hand and pulled them both down into a chair, not letting go. Fran tilted Quinn's head up, catching her gaze. She wanted her sister to be looking her in the eye when she said what she needed to. She wanted Quinn to know how serious she was.

"I know nothing about you, Quinn. I knew Lucy, the little girl who I thought was adorable, but had no self-confidence. Lucy who was overweight, with braces, and acne. Lucy who loved books and was quiet and shy. I knew a girl who had no courage. The girl I knew grew up a long time ago and the women she became isn't someone I know… but Quinn, I really want to. I want to know this brass, self-assured, courageous woman who just revealed a huge secret that, given our family history, could have pushed me away." Fran saw the tears in her sister's eyes and knew there were answering ones in her own. "I'm hoping you don't push me away instead and actually give me a chance. I want to get to know you, Quinn. So, to answer your question –you being gay, or lesbian, or heck whatever you are –that's a huge part of you but it's not going to make me leave. I meant it when I said I'm not going anywhere."

Fran smiled when Quinn crawled into her lap and threw her arms around her neck, just like she had when they were kids. She let the younger woman cry into her neck as she held her and let her own tears fall into her sister's hair.

"Better?" Fran asked after Quinn had finally calmed.

Quinn nodded, not wanting to move and it seemed like her sister was content enough to let her stay. This moment still seemed surreal. Things like this didn't really happen did they?

"So, I have to ask, are you and Rachel…" Fran let the question hang in the air, unspoken.

Quinn shrugged into her sister. "Not officially." Quinn jumped when her sister pushed her back.

"Why the hell not?!"

She was surprised by the loudness of the question, deciding now would be a good time to move. She stood up and sat of the seat next to her sister, still holding her hand. The squeeze Fran gave it told her that her sister understood.

"It's complicated?"

"What's complicated about it? That girl is obviously completely head over heels for you! I mean, she broke into your phone to find numbers to talk to complete strangers –people you've pretty much estranged yourself from, to call another complete stranger and beg her to come see you. She's beautiful, talented, friendly, and she knows how to calm you down. What the hell is complicated about that?"

Quinn laughed and ran her free hand through her hair. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds kind of stupid."

"It _is_ stupid but I'm sure I'm missing something. Fill me in?"

Quinn took a deep breath but nodded and spent the next hour filling Frannie in on her life over the last fifteen years. It shouldn't have surprised her that Fran had no clue about Beth, but then again, she didn't know about Fran's two kids who were apparently asleep on floor below them, nor the fact that Fran had been divorced for almost a year. It was almost midnight when a small knock came from the door, breaking both women from their discussion.

Quinn extracted her hand from where it still laid in her sisters and walked to the door, surprised to see Rachel on the other side holding a toe-headed little boy with an ash blonde little girl tucked in next to her leg.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Peter had a bad dream."

Fran stood up and quickly made her way to the door, pulling the almost three year old into her arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late it had gotten."

Rachel shook her head. "It's not a problem. I figured you two would be up here talking for half the night. I wasn't going to come get you until morning but…"

Rachel looked over at Quinn for the first time since she'd opened the door and saw her eyes locked on the little girl still almost hiding behind her legs. Quinn's eyes flickered between the two women and the little girl who looked so much like Beth at that age.

"Are these…" She pointed to the boy and girl.

"Lucille, come say hi to your Aunt Quinn."

Quinn looked up at her sister in awe and the woman smiled and shrugged, nodding in acknowledgement. Quinn swallowed back her tears, hating how much she had already cried that night.

Rachel looked down at the little girl and smiled when the girl didn't move. "Lucy? Remember the woman I was telling you the story about?" The little girl looked up and nodded, her finger stuck her thumb in her mouth sleepily.

"That's your Auntie Quinn."

Lucy looked over at the woman who had knelt down to her level and back up at the nice woman who had told her stories all night. "Really?" She asked around her thumb.

"Mmhmmm. I wouldn't lie."

The three women watched as Lucy stepped around Rachel's legs and stared at the woman kneeling in front of her.

"You look like mommy."

"That's because mommy is my sister."

"Mommy told me I was named after her sister. But they called you Quinn."

Quinn smiled at the girl, melting in place, and nodded. "That do call me Quinn, but it's just a nickname. It's actually my middle name. Do you know what that means?"

The girl's blonde curls bounced as she nodded. "It's your second name that your mommy calls you when you do something bad. I know I'm in lots of trouble when mommy says 'Lucille Maria Porter' like she's mad."

The women chuckled and Quinn nodded. "Well hopefully you're better than me and don't get in trouble a lot. My mother would call me 'Lucy Quinn Fabray' when she got mad."

"Nana Fabray is your mommy?" The girl grinned excitedly.

"Yes, she is."

"I've seen your pictures! Nana says I'm just like you!" The excited little girl threw her arms around her aunt.

"Mom talks about me?" She asked, looking up at her sister.

Fran smiled sadly and lifted a shoulder. "Sometimes. I think it's hard for her. She misses you." Quinn said nothing to the revelation as the little girl in her arms began to play with the hair at the back of her neck. "She does that when she's sleepy. I really should get them back to bed."

Quinn scooped up the little girl getting a giggle from her. "Let me help you?"

Fran nodded and said her goodnights to Rachel, promising to see her in the morning as she stepped out of the room. Quinn looked over at Rachel and smiled, pressing a butterfly kiss on her lips as she passed.

"I'll be back in a few."

Rachel blushed and nodded as she watched the two women walk down the quiet hall and silently patted herself on the back. From the small smile Fran gave her after seeing the kiss, it was apparent that not only had it gone well, but that Quinn had told her sister quite a bit. As she stripped out of her clothes and into the shower, she thought over what that meant. She was glad that Quinn had decided not to hide any of herself from her sister and that it honestly didn't seem to faze Fran at all. She smiled to herself as she stepped out of the bathroom, remembering the feeling of the chaste kiss Quinn had given her. It was small and fleeting, but just the fact she had done it and in such a loving and caring way, made Rachel feel like she could float away. She had a hard time wiping the smile off her face as she brushed her teeth and performed her nightly rituals.

"Oh my god, Quinn!" Rachel shrieked as she felt two arms encircle her waist, completely startling her.

"Thank you." Quinn whispered into her back, her face buried between Rachel's shoulder blades.

Rachel turned in the circle of Quinn's arms and wrapped her hands around Quinn's neck, smiling up at the beaming woman. "It was okay?"

Quinn nodded and picked up Rachel, spinning her in a circle as she grinned from ear to ear; her smile growing even wider as Rachel threw back her head and laughed. "It was fantastic. Rachel. I just…" Quinn felt like her chest was going to burst, overflowing into the ducts of her eyes.

Rachel smiled as words seemed to fail her best friend and wiped the tear gathering at the corner of Quinn's eye. "Happy tears?" She whispered, running her thumb over Quinn's cheek.

"Very happy."

"Happy looks better on you than peaceful." Rachel decided.

Quinn just nodded and grabbed Rachel's hand, pulling her back into the room. She just wanted to be wrapped up in the woman who had given her one of the best gifts she didn't even know to ask for. She knew that tonight with Fran was just a stepping stone, but it was a big one, and they never would have gotten there without the huge boost from the little diva currently staring at her in adoration.

"I'm happy and peaceful because of you." Quinn pressed two fingers to Rachel's lips to keep her from arguing. "And I am also physically and emotionally exhausted. I know you're dying for details, but do you think it would be okay if we just crawled into bed and…." Quinn hesitated for a moment before realizing that it was okay to ask, and that Rachel probably already knew what she was going to say anyway. "…could you just hold me?"

Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn's cheek. "Of course."

"I promise I'll tell you everything later."

"You don't need to do that, Quinn. All I need to know is that you're happy and things went well, and I can see that with my own two eyes." Quinn grinned in agreement and hugged her diva one more time before sending her to the bed so Quinn could get into her PJs.

Not long after, the two women slid into each other's arms on the ridiculously comfortable bed. "Do you think they'd let us take this bed home with us?" Quinn sighed as she laid her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"I think that is highly unlikely, but I'm sure we could inquire as to the brand and maybe see about getting a similar one when we get home."

Quinn hummed to herself as her eyes began to drift closed. As well as the night had gone, she had cried more than she was willing to admit, and was completely drained.

"Home. That sounds nice." Quinn was asleep before the words fully passed her lips.

Rachel smiled, running her hand through Quinn's shoulder length hair. It'd grown out in the few months she'd lived in California. Home did sound nice.

* * *

><p>Rachel was frozen to the bone but she couldn't remember when she'd last had this much fun. Her legs were sore, her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and she was honestly beginning to worry about frostbite, but when a tiny gloved hand slid into hers and begged to go "one more time" she couldn't say no.<p>

Frannie and the kids had planned on staying just until the lunch time, but with two feet of snow surrounding them, and the highways back to Cincinnati still treacherous, the innkeepers had insisted the three stay an extra night, especially seeing as the guest that were scheduled to stay wouldn't be able to make it in due to the weather. The older couple had also let it slip during breakfast that there was a wonderful sledding hill, complete with a toboggan run, not too far from the inn; graciously offering the use of their grown son's old toboggan for the day. The three women had taken turns climbing up the huge hill with the children, enjoying themselves almost as much as the youngest of their group. She'd even convinced Quinn and Fran to go together for a slide down the toboggan run, getting a few good shots on Quinn's camera of the two.

"Ms. Rachel?" Lucy's voice brought her from her thoughts.

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"Do you like my Aunt Quinn?"

Rachel wouldn't have been able to stop her smile if she wanted. "I do, very much so."

"She's pretty when she smiles at you. I think you should kiss her."

Rachel laughed as they finally made it to the top of the hill. "You do, do you?"

The little girl nodded and she climbed on the sled. "I think it would make her happy."

Rachel settled herself behind the small blonde, hugging the little body tightly to her. "And you would be okay with that?"

Lucy looked over her shoulder at Rachel, her brows knitted together.

"You're _supposed_ to kiss the people you love." The tone of the tiny voice telling Rachel what a stupid question that was.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to… kiss you." Rachel said, giving the girl a noisy kiss on her cheek before pushing them over the edge of the hill, the girl's giggles and squeals echoing down the hill.

"Alright munchkin, I think it's time we go get warmed up." Quinn told her niece as she helped her up off the sled once it came to a stop.

"But Quinnnn! I want to go again!"

"Lucille, no whining. Your brother is getting tired." Fran motioned to the boy almost asleep in her arms.

"But mommy!" The little girl crossed her arms and her bottom lip jutted out.

"No buts, young lady."

Quinn bit back a laugh as the little girl stomped her foot, looking very similar to a younger version of Rachel. "But Rachel and Quinn haven't gone!"

Quinn shook her head and grinned as she looked over at her sister helplessly. "She does have a point."

Fran rolled her eyes and held out her hand for Quinn's camera, shooing the other two women away.

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked quietly as they made the steeper climb up to the top of the toboggan run.

Quinn smiled to herself, replaying the previous evening and the day she'd spent with her sister and her family. She shook her head, not even sure she could put it to words, and settled with a simple answer. "I'm good."

"They're amazing."

"Is it bad that part of me is sad that I missed them growing up the last few years, but another part of me is almost relieved?" Quinn looked over at Rachel to see if she understood. She should have known that Rachel knew exactly what she was getting at without saying it.

"It makes sense, Quinn, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. For one, you didn't really know they existed. And I think your sister would understand. Those were the years that you missed out on with Beth."

Quinn took a deep breath and held it. "I did that to myself." She admitted as she released the breath heavily. "I totally screwed up with your mom."

Rachel quirked an eyebrow and then shook her head. "My mom didn't handle things the best either. I mean, she _did_ sleep with Puck."

"At least that was somewhat forgivable. I tried to get her daughter from her."

"Quinn, you were young and hurting and had no one to take your back."

"You tried to stop me."

"I always cared for you Quinn."

Quinn hummed, knowing bringing up the fact that she didn't deserve it would just lead to an argument when another thought hit her and she began to giggle.

Rachel side-eyed her as they reached the top of the hill. "What?"

"Oh god, you don't want to know." Quinn shook her head as her laughter begin to grow. Honestly, she was a bit disgusted by the idea, but she couldn't stop laughing.

Rachel planted her feet in the snow, hands on her hips, as she glared at the laughing woman. "Really, Quinn? Is this necessary? If you're going to laugh at me at least tell me why."

"Not at you!" She chuckled, "Remember you asked. It just hit me, you and your mom made out with the same person."

"Oh, eww. Quinn!" Rachel was lusting after the woman who had given birth to her sister, whose baby daddy she had once had a heated make out session with, who had then slept with her mother. "There goes your chances of ever getting laid."

Quinn stepped closer and ran her hand over Rachel's cheek.

"Does that mean there was once a chance?"

The sweet mix of Quinn's breath against her lips, the husky tone of her voice, and her proximity made all thoughts of peculiar web fate had woven vanish, and she nodded. Rachel lifted her eyes, hesitating for a moment on Quinn's lips before locking her eyes on two forest green eyes.

"I really want to kiss you." Rachel's voice was barely a whisper.

"What's stopping you?"

Rachel's eyes flickered to Quinn's lips, returning her gaze into sparkling eyes. She took a deep breath and slowly leaned forward, hesitating a hair's breath from Quinn's mouth.

"I refuse to have our first kiss tainted by thoughts of who my mother slept with." Rachel would have laughed at the look of shock on the woman's face if she didn't feel just a teeny bit bad about teasing her. She climbed onto the sleigh and waiting for Quinn, watching the woman take a few deep breaths before sitting behind her.

"There is no way Shelby is your mother, because she's not the devil you're apparently the spawn of."

* * *

><p>Rachel had never really felt maternal, she wasn't even sure she'd ever want children, but looking down at the small child in her arms, she could picture it for the first time. She wondered if it had to do something with the blonde hair and green eyes that looked up at her.<p>

"Sing?" The small boy asked.

The day had worn them all out and even after a long nap and a good meal, their entire group seemed to be keeping the pace of sloths. She'd offered to take Pete when he began to get cranky shortly after supper, sitting in a rocking chair near the fireplace in one of the communal rooms. The two sisters sat near by teaching Little Lucy how to play Candy Land.

"You want me to sing?" She asked, getting a huge nod in return.

"One song and then its time for bed." Fran warned her son. "He loves being sang to and will make you do it for hours if you let him."

"I wouldn't mind."

Fran watched the woman smiled down at the boy and could picture her holding her sister's child in such the same way. "I'm sure you wouldn't but it's already passed his bedtime."

Rachel nodded and tried to think of a song to sing. She smiled as she remembered a lullaby of sorts that her daddy used to sing to her when she was little.

_On the hearth, a fire burns,_

_And in the house it is warm._

_And the rabbi is teaching little children,_

_The alphabet._

She noticed the room had stilled other than the crackling coming from the fire-place, but her eyes never left the small green ones staring up at her in wonder. She smiled as she smoothly transitioned to the language she'd first heard the song in.

_Zet zhe kinderlekh, gedenkt zhe, tayere,_

_Vos ir lernt do;_

_Zogt zhe nokh a mol un take nokh a mol:_

_Komets-alef: o!_

_Lernt, kinder, mit groys kheyshek,_

_Azoy zog ikh aykh on;_

_Ver s'vet gikher fun aykh kenen ivre -_

_Der bakumt a fon._

_Lernt, kinder, hot nit moyre,_

_Yeder onheyb iz shver;_

_Gliklekh der vos hot gelernt toyre,_

_Tsi darf der mentsh nokh mer?_

_Ir vet, kinder, elter vern,_

_Vet ir aleyn farshteyn,_

_Vifl in di oysyes lign trern,_

_Un vi fil geveyn._

She looked up as the final notes faded from her lips, seeing three entranced blondes staring at her.

"Dat was perdy."

She chuckled and looked down at the Peter, kissing him on his forehead. Rachel blushed in surprise when the little boy sat up and pressed his warm, wet lips against her cheek.

"Dank you, miz Wachel."

"You're very welcome Peter."

Quinn and Rachel agreed they'd clean up their games and bid the family goodnight as her sister took the children to bed. They'd just finished putting everything back together when she looked up at an elderly woman smiling down at them.

"Please forgive me if this is rude of me to ask. I'm sure you're here enjoying time with your family, but well, a few of us were hoping that you'd be willing to honor us with a carol or two."

They knew the other residents at the B&B had realized who they were before, and if they hadn't, Rachel's song for Peter gave them away. They had been lucky that the coffee shop had been their only real experience with fans or photographers along the way. Rachel looked up at Quinn, silently asking if it would be okay.

"You know I'd never turn down a chance to hear you sing." Quinn said with a shrug.

She looked up at the woman, and around the room. The nice thing about staying in a B&B is there weren't a lot of guest, and the atmosphere was very homey.

"I'd be delighted to."

She accepted Quinn's hand as she stood and turned around at the sound of a throat clearing. She smiled at the innkeeper who stood holding a guitar.

"I'm not the best player, but Christmas tunes are my specialty –if you'd like some accompaniment?"

"That would be lovely, Mr. Bishop."

The man nodded and settled himself on a chair near his wife, waiting for instructions. The two took request from the handful of guest as his wife handed out cookies and hot cocoa. After a few songs, Quinn cleared her throat.

"Can I request a song?"

"Of course you can Quinn."

"I didn't get to see you, but Kurt still hasn't stopped raving about your rendition of O Holy Night back in college?"

Rachel smiled, remembering the night well. It was one of the highlights of her early career and nodded, turning to the innkeeper.

"I'm not sure I know this one well enough to join you." He admitted. "Plus, I think you'll do just beautiful on your own."

Rachel smiled and nodded before letting her eyes slide closed. Quinn couldn't help but smile in pride at the woman before her. Yes, she had been brilliant and beautiful in high school, but her years on Broadway had just strengthened Rachel's voice to the point it was hauntingly beautiful. The blonde felt chills run down her spine and goose bumps spread across her arms as Rachel began to sing, her voice caressing each word. For someone who didn't adhere to the Christian beliefs the song was based on, she did it amazing justice, leaving Quinn absolutely breathless, tears filling her eyes.

As she tore her eyes off the small brunette, she saw that she wasn't the only one in the room that was equally effected, smiling as she saw her sister standing in the doorway with tears running down her cheeks. She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt Rachel's small hand slip into hers as her own tears began to fall. She slowly opened her eyes and stared up into two shining brown ones, staring straight back into her own and felt the power and magic of the song and Rachel's voice fill her. No one moved as the song faded away, each too overwhelmed with emotions the impromptu concert had given them; though it only took a moment for Quinn to stand and pull Rachel into her arms.

"That was beautiful." Quinn whispered as she leaned back and ran her fingers over Rachel's cheek, the woman grinning at her. The sound of clapping faded in their minds as their eyes locked, completely lost in one another. They slowly moved closer until their lips hung over one another, savoring the last moments before they met. Quinn's hand sunk into lustrous brown hair as their lips finally met, both women sighing into the contact. The kiss was so soft, so filled with love, that Rachel couldn't stop the tear that trickled down her cheek. They slowly separated, pressing their foreheads together, and grinned at one another.

"And it didn't even take mistletoe." The older innkeeper joked.

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><p><strong>You guys not only finally get what you all have been insistently begging for, you also get it two days early because Fran hijacked this chapter and took off with it. This wasn't what I originally had planned for this chapter, but sometimes characters have a way of jumping ship to run off and do their own thing. So what did you guys think of Fran and the kids? And the long awaited first kiss? Let me know!<strong>


	13. Parents & Exes

**So this was supposed to be a pretty short**** chapter meant to alleviate my boredom, feed into my procrastination, and reward the few fantastic reviewers that left some awesome feedback on the last chapter. And then this happened. I guess the universe thought you guys really, really needed a reward, because this chapter went to completely out of control. I could have (and possibly should have) split this into two chapters, but I liked how it worked out. Hopefully you guys do too!****  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Quinn had been quiet since they'd left Akron and the B&amp;B almost an hour before and it was starting to worry Rachel. She had attempted, unsuccessfully, to engage in a conversation but Quinn barely gave a one or two word answer before falling silent. Rachel wanted to push, but she knew that while Quinn had grown up a lot since high school, there were still times where she tended to recede inside of herself and hide behind her walls. It was moments like these when Rachel couldn't help but let old insecurities flare to life. How could you not be insecure when the person you were attracted to was Quinn Fabray? She was gorgeous and talented and smart and could be the sweetest person ever, she was fiercely loyal and protective, and god, did she mention beautiful? Because Rachel knew she had never seen anyone as stunning and amazing as Quinn. But Quinn had been quiet and it was leaving Rachel with far too much time to think about far too many worse case scenarios even as she hoped she was wrong. Quinn was quiet because she was missing her sister that she'd finally reconnected with, not because she wasn't regretting what had happened between them the night before.<p>

As much as she was worried, Rachel couldn't help but smile a little as she thought about it. That kiss had been the perfect first kiss. It was the kind of thing you read about, watched on movies, heard about in love songs, but rarely got to experience in real life. It had honestly been the perfect moment. They decided to call it a night afterward, both somewhat embarrassed with the audience surrounding them. It had felt strange to get hugs from both innkeepers and Quinn's sister, hearing them all tell her what a cute couple they made. Rachel blushed fiercely when Fran had told her it was about time. But all of that, the embarrassment and the nerves were overshadowed by the complete euphoric happiness that surrounded her every time Quinn would catch her eye and smile shyly.

Rachel very much felt like she was back in junior high school again, getting her very first kiss and then dancing around one another when they'd returned to the room. They both acted skittish, not speaking as they prepared for bed; just smiling at one another each time they looked at the other, which was every few seconds. Rachel was sure her heart was going to beat out of her chest when Quinn had climbed into bed beside her. They'd laid there for what seemed like hours, both on their sides staring into the other's eyes as Quinn played with Rachel's fingers under the blanket. It was absolutely perfect.

They'd shared a small kiss before heading off to breakfast that morning, enjoying their last few hours with Quinn's family before Fran had to leave to return to Cincinnati. It was shortly after when they loaded up the car that Quinn seemed to pull away. The farther they got from the bed and breakfast, the farther Quinn seemed to climb inside of herself and it was starting to bother Rachel. She had hoped if she had given Quinn some time the woman would have opened up to her, but Quinn just continued to stare out the window, leaving Rachel wondering what she'd done wrong. She knew it was probably irrational, and she knew she had a tendency to blow things out of proportion, but she couldn't stop her brain from jumping to conclusions. Even as she tried to tell herself it was nothing, no big deal, that Quinn may have been tired, or missing her sister, or pondering life, the silence began to eat at her. With each mile that passed, Rachel felt her irritation grow and she fought back the urge to yell at Quinn, to tell her that if she really didn't want to be with Rachel, she should just have the guts to tell her as much. Which just made Rachel irritated at herself for such irrational thought.

Rachel huffed and flicked on her turn signal to take the next exit. She needed to get out of the car and away from Quinn for a few minutes before she did something stupid. Like yell at Quinn for not talking to her. Or try to force her to talk. Which she knew from experience was like trying to walk through a brick wall –you just end up nowhere and in complete pain from trying.

"Why are we stopping?" Rachel almost jumped from the unexpected sound breaking the silence after so long and gritted her teeth in annoyance.

"I need some coffee." She tried to keep her voice smooth, but it was difficult. Her worry had irreversibly shifted to anger, and even as she tried to take a few cleansing breaths, it seemed to grow.

"They won't have a vegan option."

Rachel knew most gas stations didn't, which is why she usually made sure to bring along a thermos of coffee when away from big cities. Animal products hid in the stupidest places. She rolled her eyes.

"Well then, I feel the need to stretch my legs."

"Rae? We've only been on the road less than an hour."

Rachel calmly took a deep breath. "Yes, and in that hour, you've completely ignored me. So forgive me for needing a little stimulation."

"Well if you want some stimulation…" Quinn smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, only to have them furrow moments later as Rachel glared at her.

Quinn sighed and shook her head internally. Rachel was mad and a joke wouldn't sooth it over.

"So you've gone from ignoring me to being concupiscent, imploring puckish mannerisms to try to reach your intended goal?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Can you please stop pretending to be a dictionary for two seconds and tell me in English what has your panties in a bunch?"

Rachel glared over at Quinn as she put the car in park and jumped from the barely stopped vehicle. Quinn cursed under her breath as the diva stormed away.

"What the hell just happened?" Quinn asked the air as she reached over and pulled the keys from the ignition.

Quinn looked up at the building Rachel disappeared into. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make sense of it. She knew that Rae had saw her pulling away, but she had allowed her to. She hadn't pushed, hadn't tried to make her talk and it made Quinn fall just a little bit harder for the amazing brunette. She figured that Rae knew her well enough to know she needed some time to work out what was going on in her head. Maybe she should have pushed passed her comfort level to talk to Rachel about it, but her head was kind of a mess and she just needed some time to figure it all out. Her sister and her had spoken alone before they'd left and her feelings and emotions were all over the place. Quinn mentally kicked herself. All she would have had to do is tell Rachel her sister had dropped some stuff on her and Rachel would have understood, would have given her the time and space to process.

Instead, she was angry and it was Quinn's fault. She just couldn't understand why she as _so_ angry. This wasn't the first time since they became best friends that Quinn had pulled back. It almost always led the blonde to apologizing. She tried think of what was different and the only thing that she could come up with… was…

"Oh god. I'm SUCH an idiot!" Quinn jumped from the car to go search for Rachel, finally realizing why she was so upset.

"Rae?"

Rachel refused to look up, trying to decide which of the brands of coffee in front of her might taste the least horrible and not cause her to completely disregard her vegetarian lifestyle. Animal products hid in the most unusual places.

"Rachel, I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk to you at the moment."

Quinn laid her hand on Rachel's arm, happy the woman hadn't yanked her hand away. "I'm sorry, Rae. I could never, never regret what happened. I know you don't want to talk to me, but can you please listen?"

She waited and when an answer didn't come, she took it as acceptance and opened her mouth to speak when a gentleman cleared his throat behind them. Quinn looked back as the man motioned for the coffee they were standing in front of and nodded, pulling Rachel with her.

"Can we… I don't really think I can do this standing up, and I want to be able to look at you when I try to explain. So can we go sit down? We can get some coffee at the diner and I can try to explain?" She watched Rachel shift from one foot to the other, still refusing to look at her. "I know you don't believe me yet, but please Rae? I promise this isn't to do with us."

Quinn wouldn't have noticed Rachel's shoulders sag or the small sigh of relief she gave if she hadn't been watching so closely and felt even more like an idiot. Quinn looked around and pulled them another few inches into a hallway that led back to the bathrooms and showers. She lifted her fingers to Rachel's chin until Rachel's eyes me her own.

"I'm sorry for making you think that I regretted anything. You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Please forgive me for worrying you?"

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes, judging her sincerity. She sighed and nodded when she found nothing but love and hope looking back at her. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't stay mad when Quinn was looking at her like that, speaking softly all the words she needed to hear. She breathed a sigh of relief when Quinn leaned down to softly brush her lips.

She laughed lightly at Quinn goofy grin and pushed the woman away from her, shaking her head. Damn Quinn and her being so damn adorable. She huffed and playfully stormed off towards the small café attached to the gas station, loving the sound of Quinn's laugh that echoed behind her.

"So?" Rachel asked as the waitress brought them coffee and a huge bowl of non-dairy creamer at Quinn's request.

Quinn knew what Rachel was waiting for and tried to decide what exactly to say. She was still processing, but she knew that Rae deserved an explanation after she'd worried her. Plus, she was trying not to be that girl who hid behind mask and walls, insecurities and old pain. Her emotions must have shown across her face because she soon had a tiny hand grasping hers from across the table.

"If you really don't want to tell me Quinn, you don't have to. I was just worried that you regretted the kiss and got angry that you couldn't tell me that."

"I meant it when I said that I could never regret that Rae. Never." Quinn tried to smile, but was sure it looked at forced as it felt. "And I do want to talk to you, it's just, my head's kind of a mess right now."

"I can give you time and space, Quinn. I just need you not to shut me out completely. Rationally, I knew that it probably had nothing to do with us, but…" Rachel shook her head. "…emotions aren't rational, nor are insecurities. And you pulling away left every single one of those insecurities screaming at me what I wasn't god enough, pretty enough, talented enough."

"Rae…"

"I know it's not true, I do; but like I said, emotions and insecurities aren't rational." Quinn ran her thumb over the back of Rachel's hand and waited, knowing that she wasn't quiet done. "Can you at least tell me why? You said it wasn't to do with us, and I'm trying to accept that…"

"It's just difficult to, I get that. And I guess if it were the other way around, I would probably would have felt the same way. What's going on between us is so new, and I have a history of running away from change, so I get why you'd think that. But please know that I could never regret one of the most amazing moments of my entire life."

Rachel looked up in wonderment at the sanguine statement. "Most amazing?"

"Second only to holding Beth the first time." The smile that filled Rachel's face and the love that filled her eyes gave Quinn the strength to tell her what had her so stressed out. Quinn let her smile fade to a grimace and tried to take a deep breath around the sudden lump in her throat.

"Fran told me that our mother would like to see me. She apparently wants me there for Christmas."

"I take it Fran told your mom you were coming."

Quinn nodded and took a sip of her coffee, remembering the conversation with her sister. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be mad at Fran for telling her or thank her for opening the door. It had been a long time since she had saw her mother and she wondered if now wasn't the best time to finally have closure on the relationship.

"Fran talked to her last night. Apparently mother knew she was coming to see me and wanted to know how it went. She wanted to know how I was and insisted that Frannie tell me she'd love to see me."

"That's a good thing isn't it?"

Quinn pulled her hand back into her lap. Rachel knew it was Quinn's way of holding herself together, but she hated when Quinn pulled away and tried to understand.

"I'm not sure."

"I…" Rachel stopped, trying to figure out even how to broach the subject. She knew that this trip already had the potential to be an emotional rollercoaster for Quinn, seeing Beth and Shelby for the first time in a few years. She knew Shelby and Quinn had tentatively patched things up, her mother had even allowed Quinn to see her Beth in person a few times. Their relationship was still a rough area for both mothers and this would be the first holiday that Quinn had ever gotten to spend with her daughter. She wasn't sure how Quinn would handle having to deal with her own parental issues on top of that.

She knew that Quinn never really got over her mother letting Russell kick her out. Quinn couldn't understand as a mother who loved her child and would do anything for her, even if she was being raised by another woman, she couldn't understand how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood. Rachel could remember the night that Quinn had finally broke down and dealt with the pain of losing her child and her family only months apart. It had become the first stepping stone to their closer relationship. She knew that Quinn only spoke to her mother once or twice a year and had never felt like she could live up to the woman's expectations –even if they had been lowered after Beth's birth.

"I'm trying to understand, Quinn, I guess it's just difficult for me because I haven't had to go through all you have. I always wanted a relationship with my mother and you saw how well that went. Yet, even though she hurt me, I couldn't help but want her in my life. I know that Judy has hurt you on multiple occasions, and that it may be difficult to put yourself in that position again… " Rachel sighed, trying to think of how to put it. Rachel only had one answer and knew it wasn't logical, nor would it fix everything, but it was the only thing that she could come up with. "but she is your mother."

The two women sat quietly, each caught up in their own thoughts as they drank their coffee. Rae was one of the few people in her life that she ever felt comfortable enough opening up to and she knew that she was the one person who would never judge her. Quinn knew that what Rachel needed right now was for her to let her walls down so she tried to figure out how to put it into words. She understood what Rachel was saying. It was the same thing she thought of when comparing her relationship to her daughter with the relationship her and her own mother had.

"I don't even know if I can explain it, Rae. I told you when I was sick a few weeks ago that I didn't know what it's like to have someone take care of you when your sick. I didn't have a parents like yours. I didn't have a mom who would kiss away the pain when of a skinned knee, or to hold me when my heart had been broken. Frannie did that for me, she was my family; when she left, it was just me and two strangers who had raised me to be just like them and I hated them for it. So I don't have a mom, I have a mother." Quinn sighed and looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Even so, I guess you're right. There will always be a part of me that will want her love and her acceptance -two things I never thought I was worthy of and I let it turn me into a monster for a long time." Quinn hesitated as she looked up into two accepting brown eyes and timidly slid her hand across the table until Rachel took it and intertwined their fingers. "I am finally in a good place in my life. I have an amazing career, I'm surrounded by people who love and accept me for who I am, and I have you. Yes, I would like some kind of closure in that relationship, but I'm not sure I want to disrupt all that for the possibility of getting hurt again."

Rachel smiled down at the hand that she held. "Quinn, everything we do in our lives has the potential to either make us happy or to devastate us." She looked up at Quinn, pleading with her eyes for the woman to really hear what she was saying as she softly stroked her thumb over Quinn's knuckles, letting Quinn know that the statement applied to what was happening between them as well.

"We spend far too long worrying over the implications of every move we make in our life. We worry about what others will think of us, how the actions we take will affect us in the future. We spend so long worrying about the maybes and the what-ifs that we let the possibilities pass us by. We forget to live for the here and now." Rachel stopped and smiled up at Quinn, unable to not think how wonderful the here and now was. "Yes, it has the potential to end badly and to hurt, but it has just as must potential to be amazing, and wonderful, and everything we hoped it could be. And if we're lucky, sometimes more. We just have to be willing to see that the risk are worth it, that pain only last for moments, and happiness is fleeting, but those brief moments will get us through until the next."

Rachel shook her head at herself and took a sip of her cooled coffee. "Judy could disappoint you, but if she wants to spend the holidays together, it sounds like she's trying."

"I guess. I'm just… Fran surprised me. I really thought when I told her I was gay that she was going to turn her back on me. Frannie had always been a little like our father in that she was always very conservative and we both know he'd condemn me to hell before speaking to me anymore. She might surprise me, but I find that difficult to believe. Yes, she could, but she bought into the same party line as Russell for so long. Mother knows I play a lesbian character on television but she doesn't know how close to the truth it is in real life. What if she doesn't handle it like Fran did, Rae? I don't think I could take a fire-and-brimstone speech from her."

"Has she ever said anything about your character?"

"We really never talked about it much. She called after I won my Emmy to tell me she was proud of me."

"Well, that's something, right? I mean, she could have completely stopped talking to you, or treated you horribly, just for even portraying a homosexual character! Yet, she still told you she was proud of you. That's a big thing, Quinn!"

Quinn couldn't help but smile a little at Rachel's enthusiasm and she did have a point. "I guess I never thought about it that way. It was the first time she'd ever said those words to me."

"That she was proud of you?" Quinn nodded. She had cried after she'd gotten that call. "I think she just might surprise you Quinn. It's your choice, and I'll support you no matter what you decide to do, but I truly hope you'll consider it."

"I have some time. I don't want to hide anything from her, I won't hide this." Quinn lifted their hands.

"I would never ask you to and if you want me with you when you go see her, I'll be right by your side."

"Well, you did promise to be by me the entire time anyway." Quinn smiled. "What… what do you think about maybe, after Hanukkah maybe meeting her for lunch somewhere? Together? I know it's a lot to ask…"

"No, it's not. And I think it would be a good idea. Just meet somewhere on neutral territory and feel each other out. It would be better than showing up on Christmas day and all hell breaking lose."

Quinn snorted at the idea. It would be a huge step away from their traditional Christmases together. "I do want to go over for Christmas, Frannie and the kids are coming down, so maybe if I settle things with my mother first it would be easier."

"I'll be by you the entire time." Rachel promised.

It was almost suppertime by the time they finally reached the edge of town. Between side trips, attraction stops, time with Fran, and freak snow storms, it had almost taken them a week to travel less than six hundred miles, and while neither woman would trade a moment of it, they were both exhausted and glad to be home. Their talk earlier had helped settle Quinn and the tension in the car had disappeared, leaving them both in good spirits, spending the remaining two hour drive flirting and laughing together. It was just what they had needed after the stress-filled afternoon.

"Dad! Daddy!" Rachel flew out of the car into the waiting arms of her fathers the moment the engine had died down. Quinn had texted the men as soon as they hit the outskirts to let them know they'd be pulling in soon. Quinn smiled as she slowly walked towards the group, loving how the men laughed and squealed along with their daughter. It was obvious how much they loved and missed her.

Quinn shrieked as she was lifted into two strong arms and spun in a circle, only to be engulfed by another set of arms as soon as her feet hit the ground. "Quinn!"

Quinn blushed and smiled into LeRoy's chest as she was smothered between the two men.

"Daddies! Let her breath!" Rachel laughed as she pulled the trapped woman from between her fathers and leaned into her side, wrapping her arm around the woman's back.

"We're allowed to smother you both. We've missed our girls!" Hiram exclaimed. "Now, come give me another hug." He said taking them both into his arms.

Rachel was warmed by the sound of Quinn's laughter and the feeling of her father's arms squeezing them in a group hug. Once the men had finally gotten their fill of hugs for the moment, they helped bring in the myriad of bags from the back of Rachel's car, raising an eyebrow when Rachel insisted they all be put into her old room.

"Now that Rachel has allowed certain milk products back into her diet, we hope that pizza will be acceptable for dinner?"

"She'll only eat it if the cheese is rennet-free." Quinn answered as she unloaded another armful of bags onto the queen-sized bed.

LeRoy snorted from the doorway. "You forget we had to cater to her vegan lifestyle the first twenty-one years of her life." Quinn blushed. Of course they would know that. "It's nice someone else remembers though."

Rachel shook her head at the look her father gave them both. She knew it wouldn't take long for the men to notice the chemistry between them, but she hadn't even looked in Quinn's direction since they'd arrived and she was already getting knowing looks. She wondered how long it would take her Daddy's curiosity to overtake him. The smile and raised eyebrow he gave her made her think it wouldn't be sooner than she'd want. The two men left to order their supper and give the women time to unpack.

"So how do you want to handle that?" Quinn asked as she moved a bag of presents to the closet.

"Handle what?" Rachel asked, the pile of clothes in her hands hanging in midair.

Quinn snorted and took the clothes, placing them on top of the dresser. They both knew exactly what Quinn was asking and what Rachel was avoiding. She stepped closer to Rachel and threaded her hands around the woman's back. "This? Us? Other people? We really haven't talked about any of it."

"Yes, well, I wanted to on the way here, but someone was distracted by other things." Rachel lifted her arms around Quinn's neck and smiled to let her know she was teasing.

"I can't help it if the most beautiful woman was sitting next to me. She _can_ be quite distracting."

"Is that the reason you always stared at me in school?" Rachel grinned as she felt Quinn's shoulders lift.

"Wouldn't want you to get a big head. Well, bigger. You might not be able to fit through the door way any more."

Rachel laughed, able to take Quinn's jab as the joke it was meant to be. She rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to Quinn's. The feeling was quickly becoming addicting and they hadn't even moved passed the innocent brushes of lips against one another.

Quinn smiled as they broke apart wanting nothing more than to kiss the woman again, deeper, with all the longing she felt but she needed an answer. She saw Rachel hesitate when she had asked. They really hadn't defined anything between them and only a few kisses had been exchanged. She had a general idea where they both stood, but she needed verbal confirmation.

"Seriously though, Rae, I'll follow your lead here. I mean, other than my mom, everyone else probably wont be too surprised in the change of our relationship. I already told you I don't want to hide this, but I want you to be comfortable, so whatever you want to tell everyone, or not tell everyone, I'm okay with."

Rachel played with the hair under her fingers, loving how soft it was. "I don't want to hide. Not that I would be able to from my parents anyway."

"I think LeRoy figured it out when you pulled me out of that hug."

"Hmmm yes, Daddy is the more observant of the two."

"So what exactly are we telling them? I mean, we haven't exactly defined this."

"They know you're my best friend and already love you like their own, so it won't bother them.. I guess we tell them when they ask that we've decided to see where this goes?"

Quinn leaned her forehead against Rachel's and stared into her chocolate brown eyes. "I more than want to see where this goes, Rae."

Rachel beamed in response. "So? What does that make us?"

"Does asking you to be my girlfriend sound a little too high-schoolish?"

Rachel threw her head back and laughed. "Oh god, that does sound like high school. Is there a better word that sounds more mature for a serious relationship?"

Quinn's smile slowly faded as she took in the smiling woman in her arms.

"Is this a serious relationship?"

Quinn knew that they'd both said they want more than just seeing where this was going but a serious relationship? She thought about it and could, for the first time, actually see herself with someone for the long term. Rachel knew everything about her, her quirks and her flaws. They knew each other's past. And now she could really see them as part of one another's future. A title like 'serious relationship' should scare the shit out of her, but instead she wanted to pull Rachel into her arms and spin her around in circles.

She didn't need an answer, it was staring straight back at her. Rachel's nose wrinkled with the size of her smile and Quinn couldn't resist any longer, leaning down to take Rachel's lips between her own. She smiled into the kiss as Rachel's arms tightened around her neck the moment she swiped her tongue over the softest lips she'd ever felt.

Rachel moaned softly as she parted her lips, allowing Quinn to deepen their kiss for the first time, completely losing herself in the kiss, in the feeling of Quinn pressed against her, the smell of her shampoo lingering in her nostrils, the taste of her on her tongue. Her skin tingled and her brain felt pleasantly hazy and she realized she could kiss this woman for the rest of her life and be perfectly happy. Who needed food or water or singing?

"Well, I guess we don't need to ask now." The sound of Hiram's voice shattered the moment. Both women jumped at the voice.

"Really, Dad, was the necessary?" Rachel's cheeks flamed, both from the vestige sensations of the kiss and from being caught making out with the embarrassed blonde buried Rachel's neck.

"This was what I was trying to avoid." Quinn chuckled. She had never been caught by any parents, including her own, and she couldn't help but be a bit mortified.

"Aww, look Hiram, they're both blushing."

"Was there something you wanted or did you both just come up to tease us?" Rachel glared at the men who were leaning against her doorway as she hugged her girlfriend closer to her.

"Well, we were going to tell you supper is here, seeing as you didn't respond when we yelled for you both." LeRoy wiggled his eyebrows.

"But after seeing why you didn't answer, we're just going to tease you." Hiram laughed.

"Oh god." Quinn groaned as she rested her forehead against Rachel's shoulder.

"Get used to it Quinn. We already considered you a daughter before this and as an unofficial Berry, you must be subjected to Berry teasing."

"He says teasing, I say torture." Rachel sighed.

"Toe-ma-toe, ta-ma-to." LeRoy quipped before turning to leave, dragging his husband with him.

Quinn stepped back and looked at the women in front of her. "Please tell me that did not just happen."

"Well, it's two less people that we have to tell."

"Yes, but they're going to tease us just as bad, if not worse, than Santana would. Just be thankful we don't have to deal with her and B until after Christmas."

Rachel's smile fell a little as she stepped back and took Quinn's hand. "I hate that we had to miss them."

"Yeah, I get Britt's shows having to come first but it was kind of nice seeing them at Thanksgiving. It was weird because I really hadn't spent that much time with them together since shortly after high school."

"I know. I miss them. And Kurt and Blaine."

Quinn looked down at their hands. "You know, eventually, we're going to have to discuss that. You're in New York, and I'm in LA."

Rachel almost melted at the vulnerability that coated Quinn's voice and the way she stood. She knew that Quinn was right, it wasn't even something that she had thought about before this moment. Which showed just how hazy the blonde made her. She usually always thought about every detail of what would happen, but with Quinn, everything happened so naturally that she didn't want to stop and plan every aspect of what was happening between them and where she saw it going.

"I know we're going to have to face that eventually, but we'll figure it out together. I promise." She smiled when Quinn pecked her cheek.

"You're right, we'll figure it out, because I don't plan on letting you go any time soon."

* * *

><p>"Dude, what the hell?"<p>

Quinn looked over her shoulder at the man standing in the doorway behind her as she reached in the cabinet for a glass.

"What's your malfunction?"

"I want to know what's going on between you and my fellow Jew Babe."

Quinn rolled her eyes and moved to grab some juice out of the fridge. She knew it was a mistake when Rachel told her that Puck would be joining them for the first night of Hanukkah. Apparently her fathers had invited him after hearing that his family would be down in Cleveland to see Jake leaving Puck alone while on leave. She knew he wasn't aware she'd be there the moment he walked in the door. Thankfully it hadn't been awkward and he'd seemed genuinely happy to see her. She knew he'd keep pestering her for an answer and as much as she was prepared to act annoyed, she really wasn't. In a way, she almost felt that she owed him an explanation, but but she wasn't sure her relationship with Rachel was one she wanted to share with her ex. She still considered him a great friend, but everything was so new with Rae and it seemed like they hadn't had a moment alone to enjoy it.

Quinn wondered if she just ignored him that he'd get the message and leave, but after dating him for so long, she knew it was highly unlikely. He was like a dog with a bone and when he wanted answers, he'd annoy you until he got them. She turned around with a huff, deciding to get it over with before anyone else walked in.

"What do you mean?" Quinn avoided his eyes as she poured her juice,

letting her annoyance filter through her voice.

"Don't play games with me, Quinn. I _know_ there is something going on between you two. You forget, I know you both. I know that look you're giving her and I'm not blind –she is giving it right back."

Quinn crossed her arms and took a drink, trying to bide her time. She could admit it, but it was more fun seeing him get so worked up. "I'm looking at Berry like I always have."

"Almost, which is kind of telling in itself." Puck shook his head and snorted as he lowered himself onto a stool at the island separating them. "Damn it, why didn't I see this back in high school?"

"You're lucky Rachel isn't in here. She'd be yelling at you about your language."

"No, she'd be too busy making goo-goo eyes at you to even notice I was in the room. Stop changing the subject." Puck glared at her.

"Fine." Quinn snipped. He'd peaked her interest. "You tell me what you meant about high school and I'll think about answering your question."

"Oh, I'll get an answer, one way or another. You know you can't resist The Puckster."

Quinn rolled her eyes and bit back a groan. "Right, which is why I'm currently following you around the country playing army wife."

"You know it's Air Force."

Quinn waved him off as she finished her drink and turned to rinse it out. It didn't really matter to her what branch, even though after dating him for so long, it was engraved into her brain. She honestly was proud of him. He had told them over dinner that he'd been promoted to E7 Master Sergeant a few months prior. He had been so worried about becoming a Lima loser, but he had actually made something of himself with the military.

"Do we have a deal or not?" Quinn questioned, trying to get the conversation back on track. She really didn't want to be standing in the kitchen talking to Puck when the most amazing woman was waiting in the other room for her.

"I never understood it in high school, the way you'd look at her, or her at you. You tried so hard to hate her, which I never really got, because Rachel was always great. Once I knocked you up though, you kinda let her a little closer to you and you'd look at her, like when she was singing and stuff, and it was like you'd never seen anyone like her before."

"I hadn't. None of us had. Even back then she was a star."

Puck bobbed his head in agreement. "True, but you still looked at her differently than anyone else did. Like even when you were trying to hate her you truly respected her, but it was more than that."

Quinn shrugged, not disagreeing, but wanting to see where he was going with this. She did respect Rachel in high school. Even when she was throwing slushies on her, she begrudgingly respected her. She would look Quinn right in the eye and held her head high. That took guts.

"I never understood why she always wanted to be your friend, why she was always chasing after you, or trying to stop you from doing something absolutely stupid. Or why she would look at you like a proud parent anytime you'd do something right. She'd get that huge smile she gets when she is truly happy about something. The smile she has been wearing every single time she's looked in your direction tonight."

"So what? She's my best friend, I can make her smile, what's your point."

Puck shook his head. He should have known his ex wouldn't make it easy on him, but he knew what he was saying was true. "You know it's not just because you're her best friend. We saw her moon over Finn forever. She looks at you like you've just went out and hung the moon and the stars just for her. And I personally know how you look when you're in love with someone, but I've never seen you like this. It's changed you, you're freer, happier."

Quinn couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She really did feel like she could float away at any moment.

Puck laughed and pointed at her. "See, that, right there. That goofy ass smile says it all. So come on baby mama, your turn. You made me get all sappy and shit, so fess up. What's up with you and Jew Babe?"

"Fine, ok, you're right. I'm not sure about the whole high school thing, but I'll give you the rest." Puck smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. "God, Puck, do you have to be so crude."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"Right, because I don't know that look at all."

She smiled when Rachel walked in the room, stopping whatever offensive and vulgar thing that was going to come out of Puck's mouth next.

"Rachel!" Puck jumped off his stool and grabbed the woman, spinning her around.

"Noah?" Rachel laughed as she dizzily grained her footing, looking curiously over at Quinn who just shrugged. "I was wondering where you two went off to."

Quinn lifted her hand and wiggle her fingers, beckoning Rachel to take her hand. As soon as Rachel's fingers slid in to hers she pulled the other woman closer to her and draped her arm over Rachel's shoulder.

"Puck was just about to proposition me for a three-some."

Puck gaped at her for a full minute before remembering he should be defending himself.

"I was not."

"Right, so what were you going to say." She stared at the man as he opened his mouth, only to promptly shut it. "That's what I thought, and before you ask, the answer is no."

"So I take it you told him?" Rachel asked as she leaned into Quinn's side, loving that she was able to touch her like this now. They had agreed that they would keep the PDA to a minimum until they were able to tell everyone, not really wanting to cause sudden heart failure for any of their friends or relatives. Plus, Quinn decided she wanted to tell her mom before news got around town. Lima wasn't a small town, but news like this still spread like wild fire, especially when the news pertained to two of the biggest stars ever to come out of Lima, Ohio.

"Not really. He sort of cornered me about what I was doing with you."

"Gotta protect my fellow Jew." Puck said with a shrug when Rachel looked over at him.

"That's very sweet of you Noah. Are you okay with this? I mean, I know that you and Quinn were once a pair."

The two women watched as he thought over the question, both hoping that it wouldn't be an issue between them. Though neither of them saw or spoke to the man often they still considered him both a good friend and part of their extended family, just like many of their former Glee members.

"If Quinn and I were meant to be, we would still be together. It'll take some getting used to, don't get me wrong, but as long as you're both happy, then whatever." Rachel beamed over at her friend, but Quinn waited. Puck may have out grown a lot of his immaturity, but he was still Puck and always would be.

"But you know, if you want to make me feel better about it, you could always make-out in front of me."

Quinn rolled her eyes and hugged Rachel to her, kissing the top of her head. "And there it is." 

* * *

><p>"So what did you think of tonight?" Rachel asked later as they laid in bed together. She had her head on Quinn's shoulder and Quinn had her hand dangling over them where she could play with her fingers. Rachel smile at it, realizing that this was something Quinn loved to do. She didn't quite understand it, but she couldn't help but find it utterly adorable.<p>

"Puck or Hanukkah?"

"Both, I guess."

"It was kind of nice to see Puck again. We really haven't gotten to hang out since we broke up so it was a little odd at first."

"What all did he say before I interrupted?"

Quinn lowered their hands and laid them on her chest over her heart. "He said that I used to look at you almost the same way in high school. And that you used to look at me the same way too."

Rachel shifted so she could look up at Quinn, the only light coming from the bright moon outside her window. "I'm surprised he noticed."

"Tonight? I couldn't take my eyes off of you, I think he would have been blind not to see it."

Quinn felt Rachel shake her head against Quinn's shoulder and looked down at the woman in her arms. Rachel sighed heavily and moved closer, not sure if she could talk while Quinn was looking at her like that.

"I meant in high school. I guess I was a bit of a masochist, because you treated me horribly for so long, but I had the biggest crush on you for years."

"You had a crush on me?" Rachel nodded. "God, but why? I was such a bitch to you."

"I know, it doesn't really make sense. I truly disliked that part of you, it hurt every time you'd call me a name, or ignore me, or when we'd be fighting." She felt Quinn tense under her and ran her fingers over Quinn's arm trying to sooth her. "But then there were the times that you'd let your mask slip, or you'd do something nice, and I knew I was actually getting to see the real you. And Quinn, the real you is so amazing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have given me the time of day back then?"

Quinn chuckled humorlessly. "No, I probably would have beat the hell out of you for even saying such a thing."

"Exactly."

The two women laid quietly, both absorbed in their own thoughts, but secretly wondering how different high school would have been if Rachel had said something and Quinn had been in the right place emotionally to accept it.

"What about later? After you found out? You know… about me?"

Rachel lifted a shoulder. "I just let things be. It's got us here, didn't it?"

Rachel loved the silence that would fall around them between conversations. Unlike the car, which was filled with tension, the quiet that now surrounded them was easy. It wasn't strained or awkward and for a change, she didn't feel the need to fill it, but a thought kept pushing it's way into her mind.

"What about you?" Rachel's voice finally cracked the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said Puck told you we both looked at each other in a similar way to what we do now?"

Quinn made an affirmative noise, understanding what Rachel was asking. "I don't know. I spent part of the evening thinking about that."

"Is that why you were so quiet tonight?"

"That and I was just trying to understand what was going on. Even though I dated Puck I never joined him for Hanukkah so tonight was a first for me."

"I kind of gathered that by the questions you were asking."

"Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine, I just didn't know before. I guess I was under the assumption that you'd had joined Puck and his family for the Hanukkah celebrations. I'm kind of glad that you get to experience it with my father's and I first." Rachel hesitated a moment, waiting to see if Quinn would resume their conversation, but the woman stayed silent, drumming her fingers on Rachel's arm. "So did all your thinking bring you any answers?"

"I don't know. I was so blinded by everything I was supposed to be in high school that the thought of possibly being gay wasn't even consciously on my radar. It wasn't something I decided to hide like Santana did, I just honestly didn't know. Looking back, I can see different things, what I could call crushes now, but then?" Quinn shook her head. "I always tended to treat girls like crap. Just being around other females made me so angry. It didn't make sense to me back then, I just thought it was all the pressure I was under to be the best, but your question you asked me a few weeks ago got me thinking? When you asked if all my rage was from being repressed?" She felt Rachel nod into her shoulder as she picked up her hand and began running her fingers through Rachel's.

"I know you said it in jest, but it does make a lot of sense, so I guess I can see what Puck meant. Most of my anger was always directed at the girls in the school who were the prettiest, or the most attractive, or the most talented, and you were all that and more; so it'd make sense that'd I'd go after you worse than anyone else. Even when I was busy trying to be HBIC and treating you like crap, I always had a lot of respect for you. I know I never showed you in the right way, but I did. I was so stuck on myself though that I couldn't have told you even if I wanted to."

"So you think you could have had feelings for me back then, but were just too blinded by parents and pressure to see it?"

Quinn shrugged beneath her shoulder as she intertwined their fingers. "I guess it's possible. But does it really matter now?"

Rachel leaned up on her elbow and smiled down at Quinn. "I guess it doesn't. I'm rather enjoying where we are now."

"It is rather nice." Quinn lifted her hand and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Rachel's ear. "How could I have not seen just how beautiful you were?" She grinned as Rachel turned her head and grazed her lips against Quinn's palm.

"As long as you see it now, that's all that matters."

"I do. You have to know how beautiful I think you are." Quinn's hand slid behind Rachel's neck, slowly pulling the woman forward, feeling her heart race as Rachel's lips neared her own.

Rachel tilted her head, closing the distance between them, their laced fingers braced against Quinn's hip. Rachel didn't hesitate to deepen their kiss almost instantly, allowing Quinn's hands to guide her almost on top of the woman. She'd never felt a kiss as soft or as passionate as Quinn's, one that made her feel so much. Finn had once told her that kissing Quinn had felt like fireworks, but even as the thought filtered through her mind, she knew he was wrong. Kissing Quinn was like a wave, starting slowly, building momentum, crashing over you. Rachel was overwhelmed by the feelings flowing over her, flooding her heart with joy and love, thundering through her veins like a wave crashing upon shore. Kissing her wasn't like a firework, it was a wave, rushing towards the shore, breaking with a whispered moan, an exhale of warm moist air, before rolling out again, contently ebbing and flowing into one another. It was like being drenched in water so sweet and warm that you could drown in it and be utterly happy to do so.

Quinn's arms held her tighter as the blonde flicked her tongue against the roof of Rachel's mouth, drawing out a long moan and all thoughts of waves and fireworks died as the sensation shot straight down her spine. She pressed her body closer to Quinn's, wanting nothing more than to crawl inside her skin and never leave.

"You're smiling." Rachel's words danced across Quinn's lips before kissing her again.

"I could kiss you forever."

Rachel hummed in agreement before finally pulling away, struggling to catch her breath. "As much as I wouldn't mind that, we're supposed to meet your mother tomorrow, so we probably should get some rest."

Quinn groaned as dropped her hands to the bed. "Ugh! You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn's cheek before dropping herself onto the bed next to Quinn. "I figured we both needed something to cool us down. We're not ready to take the next step yet and if you kept kissing me like that, I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself."

"That's not helping." Quinn sighed as she rubbed her hands over her face.

"I believe I once told you that girls wanted sex just as much as boys. Just because we're women now doesn't mean that fact has changed." Rachel watched in confusion as Quinn began to quickly crawl over, snatching up her phone and pillow. "Where are you going?"

"To sleep in the guest room. I can't lay next to you after what you just said."

Rachel looked at Quinn as she gathered up a few more things and headed towards the door. "Did I offend you?"

Quinn stopped, the door handle cool under her palm, and shook her head. She took a deep breath before spinning on her heel, quickly making it back over to the bed. She didn't want there to be any misunderstandings between them like there had been that morning. Quinn leaned down and took Rachel's face between her hands, kissing her with every ounce of love and passion she felt for the woman.

"I'm leaving, because if I stay, I'm going to end up trying to have my way with you and you're right, we're not there yet."

Quinn smiled to herself as she heard Rachel whimper and fall back on the bed as she left the room. 

* * *

><p><strong>Damn their sensibilities. The tension just may end up killing them after all! <strong>**Still a lot I want to cover before the holidays as I'll probably be unable to update for the week before and after Christmas ****so look for **a few faster/longer updates because of that. ********This really didn't begin as a holiday story, but it's kind of turned into one for the moment, so look for a night of Hanukkah, some Christmas cheer, and fun filled New Years Eve. And of course, Judy, more Glee Alumni, and more sweet lady kisses.****


	14. Panic and Acceptance

**Apparently, I am incapable of writing a short chapter. I'm worried I killed you all with the massive amount of words, fluff, and sexual tension in the last chapter, so I'm evening it out with a bit of drama in this one. Warning: This is completely unedited as I'm getting to the end of my semester and life is crazy.**

* * *

><p>Quinn sighed as she stepped from the vehicle, dreading this more than anything she had in a long time. She had decided after talking with Rachel that they would meet with her mother sometime after the Hanukkah celebration was over. She knew that they could have met sooner, but she had wanted to get her feet under her and adjust to being back in the town she'd grown up in. Not much had changed since she'd last been there, other than her status as a celebrity, but apparently that was a big enough change. It seemed that when two huge stars coming into town, together no less, it was something to take notice of. Quinn knew that it was nothing for Rachel, she'd experienced it all before on her many visits since becoming a Broadway star, but this was Quinn's first time back with it since landing her role on <em>Steel<em>.

Of course she' d had her run ins with fans and the press out in LA, for the most part she was a face among many and was relatively left to her own devices. Granted, there were times when the paparazzi would hound her, or do something weird like hid in her bushes at the end of her road, but that was LA, it was to be expected. Lima though, Lima was totally different, and waking up to find Jacob Ben Israel, who unsurprisingly was a local television reporter, on the door step looking for an interview was a little unnerving. As was the fact that he trailed the two of them where ever they went. She cursed her luck, and the universe. Judy had called first thing Monday morning to chastise Quinn for not letting her know the moment she arrived to town disappointed her had to hear it on the local talk radio show rather than from her own daughter. Quinn swallowed hard remember the short conversation. She felt like she was back in high school as a freshman who couldn't tell her parent's no as her mother demanded that Quinn join her for a lunch date the next day.

Quinn felt her breath grow shorter in her chest and her palms begin to sweat. She hadn't had time to prepare. Really, was there anyway to come out? To a parent you've been almost estranged from for so long? What was the etiquette? Quinn began to hyperventilate. She didn't know what she was going to say, and she was more than a little terrified of what her mother would do.

Rachel saw the panic fill Quinn's face the moment she got out of the car and quickly moved around. She slid her small hand into Quinn's and squeezed, sighing in relief when two scared eyes met her own. "Quinn, sweetie, you need to breath." Blonde hair bounced as Quinn nodded and took a deep breath. "It _will_ be okay. And no matter what happens today, you still have me, you still have people who love and care for you. Just remember that okay? It's not like last time. You're not alone and if I have anything to say about it, which believe me, I do, whole PowerPoint presentations worth if need be, you'll never be alone again."

Quinn smiled slightly at the joke, though she was sure Rachel could whip up a dozen or more PowerPoint slides on the subject. The teasing was what she needed though to get out of her a little bit and she couldn't help but look at Rachel with thanks and relief. She brought Rachel's hand to her lips and pressed a small kiss to it. She knew there was a possibility that Ben Israel could possibly catch a picture and have it on his twitter account in mere seconds, but at the moment she didn't care. And really, it wasn't like she was making out with the woman in the parking lot, though she wouldn't have minded stealing a kiss or two. She really needed to call her agent and let her know that they might want to get their PR people on stand by. Yes, she played a lesbian on TV but she had always been coy about her actual orientation; mainly due to the woman they were going to see if Quinn could just get her feet to move.

Quinn eyed Rachel and then the building behind me. "Help me?"

"You've got this, Quinn. Now, come on, it would be impolite to show up tardy." Rachel knew that she'd have to give Quinn a push, maybe even literally. She couldn't imagine being in Quinn's shoes, she'd never really discussed her orientation with her father's, but then again, it wasn't something that really mattered to them one way or another, as long as she was happy. She tugged at Quinn's hand, trying to get her moving, surprised when it actually worked, and even more surprised when Quinn tightened their grip when Rachel tried to pull her hand way. She looked down at their hands in question, but Quinn ignored the look and held the door for her with her free hand.

She only finally let go when Judy swept her up in her arms, hugging her tight. It scared the hell out of Quinn. Her family had never been affectionate and she could only remember a handful of times where her mother had actually hugged her.

"Hello mother." She tried to keep the quiver from her voice as she stepped back and motioned towards her best friend? girlfriend? her Rae. "I'm not sure if you remember…"

"Rachel Berry, it's nice to meet you again." Judy said warmly as she shook Rachel's hand, urging them both to sit after. "I didn't know that you would be joining us today."

"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? No of course not dear. It's a pleasure to have you."

Quinn eyed her mother as the waiter handed them their menus and told them the specials of the day, not that Quinn had paid any attention. She was too busy trying to figure out her mother's out-of-character behavior. Her mother had never been touchy-feely, much less warm and welcoming and Quinn couldn't help but wonder what her angle was. Was it because of Quinn's celebrity status? The Fabray image? She felt like a cynical asshole but she'd seen it all for so long that she couldn't help but see her mother's actions as anything other than insincere. The three women quietly looked over the menu before placing their order.

"So how was the trip? I saw you both on the Macy's float! That was amazing. I sometimes forget what a talented singer you are, dear." Judy smiled over at her daughter. Quinn squirmed under her mother's proud stare.

"I told Quinn she needs to sing in public more often. She really does have an amazing voice."

"As do you dear. I remember you back from when you and my Quinnie were in that singing group in high school. Seems your talent has only grown."

Quinn smiled as Rachel blushed, glad she wasn't the only one feeling somewhat embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Mrs. Fabray. That is very nice of you to say."

Judy Fabray waved off the thanks. "Please, you can call me Judy. Mrs. Fabray was my mother-in-law and she was a horrid woman." Quinn nodded her head at the assessment. The woman had been retched. "So how did you and Quinn manage to reconnect?"

Rachel wasn't sure what to make of the woman yet, which baffled her. In a lot of ways, she was like Quinn –an enigma she just couldn't help but want to unravel. In high school she'd been drawn to the woman but she could never figure her out. Even when she smiled there always seemed to be something behind her eyes. Yet, with Mrs. Fabray, it actually seemed like she was being genuine, which went against everything she had ever known about the woman.

She shook her head, realizing that Mrs. Fabray was waiting for an answer and looked over at Quinn and smiled. "Quinn and I became friends towards the end of our senior year and we kept in contact through out college and my first years on Broadway. I guess our real friendship began when she took a train from Yale to come to New York my first year there. She… well, she stopped me from doing something that at the time I had my heart and mind set to do." She rolled her eyes as Quinn snorted. "Fine, it was a completely ludicrous notion that would have probably ruined any chances I had at a career in Broadway. It took me a long while after that to realize just what she'd done for me, but when I did, I reached out to her."

"She showed up at my dorm room, completely soaked from head to toe due to a freak downpour, and proceeded to call me an idiot." Quinn laughed.

"And that made you become good friends?"

"The reason she did it, did. After that, we talked, or emailed whenever we could. I'd go up and visit her, or if she didn't have a show, she'd come down and spend some time with me and my Yale buddies."

"Do you remember that little dueling piano place we went to one of your first trips to New York?" Rachel asked, grinning ear to ear. It was probably one of her favorite memories, other than her first trip to New Haven.

Quinn couldn't help but smile. "I just told Kurt about that place over Thanksgiving. Too bad it closed down."

"I'd love to open a place like that, just a little dive bar where no ones and maybes could come and just enjoy singing with a live band."

"You would." Quinn smiled, picturing Rachel up on stage and her behind the bar serving drinks. It could be fun. Maybe she'd talk Rachel into if either of the ever decided to retire. Quinn looked over at her mother who just seemed to be happily watching them. "So yeah, that's about it."

Rachel watched Judy nod, but could see the lingering questions laying in wait as they were served their meal. Rachel was just glad that Mrs. Fabray had chosen one of the nicer country clubs to dine in, because in town where some of the best restaurants where called things like the Beer Barrel or Bread Stix, you're not going to expect much. At least the country club was high end enough to offer vegan and vegetarian options without having to berate the entire staff in order to get a decent meal. The women let their discussion fall to the way side as they began to eat, or in Quinn's case, pick, at their food.

"So how did you end up out in LA?" Judy asked after they'd each gotten a good way into their meal.

Quinn smirked and Rachel narrowed her eyes at the woman in a challenge. They both knew she'd shown up crying, but she was hoping Quinn would be kind enough not to bring that up. But she forgot, Quinn usually wasn't kind. Sweet yes. Loving, smart, brilliant, of course. But rarely kind.

"She showed up at my door all wet again. And this time it wasn't because of the rain."

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at the giggling woman next to her. "You're a brat."

"Takes one to know one."

They both looked up at Quinn's mother cleared her throat. "What Quinn is trying to say, is I showed up at her house one night upset because my show in New York had been cancelled."

"I think I heard something about that. Are you going to be in it now that they're bringing it back?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side in wonderment. Judy must keep a very close eye on the theater world to know that there was talking of relaunching the show. "I'm surprised you know about that." She said honestly. "I was approached to reprise my role in The Son, but I declined."

"Wait, what?" Quinn glanced between the two women, confused. "How did I not know that The Son was going to be revived? Rae? Why didn't you tell me?"

Rachel heard the hurt that Quinn tried to hide in her voice as she tried to think how to answer honestly, with Quinn's mother sitting directly across from her. "It's still tentative, but it's looking more and more like it's going to happen. I, well, I got a call a few days before Thanksgiving."

"And you turned them down?" Quinn asked incredulously.

Rachel bit her lip and looked down at her plate, pushing some of her pasta around. She hadn't wanted to tell Quinn because she knew that Quinn would push her to pursue it, and at the time she'd gotten the call, she was too busy wanting to pursue Quinn. She had also been burned by the failed production and was worried that the show was tainted, worried that if she went back and it failed again, she'd lose her love of Broadway. And if they were alone, she'd tell Quinn as much, but she didn't want to do it here and now, where anyone could over hear them, in front of Quinn's mother. She didn't want her to see her as the failure she felt like she was the day she knocked on Quinn's door.

Rachel sighed and shrugged her shoulders, finally looking up to meet Quinn's gaze. "I did." She said with more certainty than she felt. "I have too many projects going on out on the West Coast right now," she gave Quinn a pointed look. "Broadway will be there if and when I decide to return."

"If?"

"Yes, if, Quinn."

Quinn could tell by her tone of voice that the conversation was over, at least for the moment. She couldn't begrudge her for not wanting to speak about it in front of her mother but she wasn't going to let this go, not as easily as Rachel wanted her to. It wasn't just that Rachel had turned down the role, she had a feeling she knew what some of the reasoning behind that was, the main one being their budding relationship. Bu the idea that Rachel was even possibly considering not returning to the stage, Quinn couldn't, she wouldn't accept that. It was Rachel's dream to be on the stage, and while Quinn knew she could possibly be just as happy on the big screen, Rachel was _born_ for the stage. She stared at the woman before her before she nodded. She knew Rachel saw the determination in her eye to get answers when she sighed and nodded minutely.

"Okay." Quinn nodded and shook her head. This day was just too weird.

The women fell into an awkward silence as they finished their meals and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief as the waiter whisked away their dishes, knowing that their lunch was drawing to an end.

"What was it like working on _Steel_ Rachel?" Judy's question jolted both women who had both been lost in their own thoughts.

"It was… an experience." Rachel nodded to herself. "The cast is absolutely fabulous."

"Well of course, my daughter is a part of it." Judy chuckled and smiled over at Quinn, lightly patting her hand on top Quinn's.

"It's the first time that Quinn and I had worked together since high school and back then we were usually at each other's throats, so it was a learning experience. It was nice though. And April, she is a character in and of herself."

"April Paden, she's the actress who plays Alexa Garnet." Quinn clarified.

"The cute redhead?"

"You say cute, I say a terror, but yes, that's the one."

"She's not the bad, Quinn!"

"Says the woman she gave a eulogy for."

Rachel laughed, "You do have a point."

"So ladies, you must tell me, do the sparks fly as much off the screen as they did on?"

Quinn looked at her mom and blinked. Just blinked.

Her world stopped for just a moment.

Every thought process in her head had completely stopped.

Every movement in the restaurant surrounding them stopped.

Every sound. Every breath. Stopped.

She would have swore if she looked at a clock in that moment, it too would have stopped.

She blinked again, and all at once, everything came rushing back at her. The noise became uncomfortably loud. Every word spoken around them, every piece of cutlery hitting a plate, even the sound of her own breathing threatened to overwhelm her. It was too much, too fast, and she felt like it was cutting off every breath that she took.

"Quinn, sweetie, you need to breath. Just breath with me?"

Two warm hands cupped her face, begging her to take a breath as the world swam before her eyes. The colors and movement were too much, too fast, all becoming a blur beyond the two eyes staring into her own.

"Come on baby, breath for me. Just slow, easy breaths, can you do that?"

Quinn wasn't sure she could. It felt like someone was sitting on her chest and she couldn't breath, she knew she had to, she knew that, but she couldn't get passed the pressure on her chest.

"Just breath with me, okay, take a deep breath in and hold it," Quinn nodded, her eyes swimming with tears as she tried to take a deep breath, but it seemed to catch in her throat. "Just a little bit more. Good, now breath out. Come on Quinn, you can do this."

Quinn nodded again, trying to copy the breathing pattern being exaggerated for her. Tears streamed down her face as she finally began to breath, deeper and easier with each breath pulled desperately into her lungs. Tears were wiped as fast as they came, soothing words surrounding her, blurring together, but comforting none the less. She heard more murmurs from around her, but none of them seemed to make sense, nothing filtered through to her other than they eyes that stayed locked on hers and the hands brushing against her cheeks.

Quinn began to panic as the hands pulled away, desperately grabbing at them.

"Quinn, I need you to let me go for just a moment. We're going to take you home okay? I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Quinn nodded and felt herself be lifted into two strong arms, not knowing or caring who it was. She whimpered as the two eyes moved away from her, only to come back within a moment, joined by worried brown ones. 

* * *

><p>Quinn slowly woke to the sound of two voices speaking quietly nearby. She couldn't remember where she was or how she'd gotten there, but her head throbbed painfully.<p>

"Shh, lay still, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

Everything came back to Quinn in a flash as she stared up at the same two worried eyes that had helped calm her.

"Mom?" Quinn's voice sounded raw and tired in her own ears.

"You gave us quite the scare." Judy chuckled humorlessly.

"Where's Rae?" No sooner than the words left her lips did she see the diva over her mother's shoulder. She still couldn't place where she was thought the room did look vaguely familiar.

Rachel smiled and walked around the coffee table to sit on the couch next to Quinn. "I'm here, love." She said softly, slipping her hand into Quinn's who crushed it in a death grip.

She looked down at their hands and the up at Quinn. She' was scared, so scared. She saw the confusion in Quinn's eyes, the questions over what occurred and couldn't help but feel her heart restrict. She knew that Quinn had been terrified of telling her mother about them, about her, but she truly didn't expect what happened in the restaurant.

"You had a panic attack Quinn, a pretty bad one."

Quinn nodded, remember the question her mom had asked before her world had shut down. She also remembered hazel eyes, so similar to her own, talking her through it all. Quinn looked up at her mother in wonder.

"You…. you helped me?"

Judy smiled, though there was no joy in the expression. "It's what a parent is supposed to do. I.." Quinn watched her mother falter, and furrowed her brow. Her mother didn't stutter, didn't falter, she knew what she wanted, what she was going to say, and what the answer would be before she ever began to talk.

Quinn was surprised when she saw Rachel take her mother's hand in her free one. "Just tell her what you told me, Judy."

Judy looked up at the brunette and nodded. "I'm usually so eloquent and poised, but you scared me today, Quinn, so please forgive me if this is a jumbled mess. This is not how I envisioned today happening. I am not sure what I expected, no, that is not true. I expected you to turn your back on me, to tell me that we could never have a relationship, because I know I do not truly deserve one with you." Quinn wasn't sure if her mother expected her to disagree or not, so she kept silent. Judy only waited a moment before she continued.

"I have made far too many mistakes, even before I let Russell throw away my baby girl. I never knew how to relate to my girls and there were so many rules I thought I was supposed to follow. I was supposed to be the perfect wife, with the perfect children, and God forbid if you or Frannie ever stepped out of line. Your father was a tyrant and by the time you were old enough to understand what was going on, I was too busy hiding from him in a bottle to be the mother you needed me to be.

I'm not asking your forgiveness, because even if you ever do find it in you to forgive me, I will never be able to forgive myself for how I treated you…"

"Why?" Quinn interrupted.

"I'm not sure I understand the question. Why can't I forgive myself?"

Quinn shook her head, adamantly. "Why? Why now? What's changed to make you tell me all of this now? Now that I'm grown? Now that I no longer need you?"

Rachel watched the older Fabray wince and deflate under the questions Quinn threw at her. Her tone wasn't hurtful, just honestly searching for answers. They were valid questions and ones that Quinn would need answers to before she could begin to heal. She just hoped that Judy had the courage, and that Quinn would actually listen.

"I know I have missed so much time with you, and you're right, you probably don't need me now. You needed me when you were growing up, and I wasn't there for you mentally, or emotionally. You needed me when you became pregnant and then I wasn't even there for you physically." Judy hesitated only a moment before she continued, looking over Quinn's should at a wall covered with pictures, a wall Rachel had saw and stared at in awe, a wall that she knew Quinn had yet to see. She had a feeling once Quinn did, a lot of her questions would be answered.

"I have gone through a lot these last few years while you were away, Quinn. I… Well, I guess it started when Fran brought Lucy to see me the first time. Holding Lucille, I realized just how much I had lost. She reminded me so much of you and all the dreams I had when I first became a mother. She reminded me of holding your sister for the first time and promising her that I'd do better than my mother did. She made me remember how tired and jaded I already felt by the time you were born, and how utterly unfair that was to you. She reminded me of how much of your life I had missed out on by doing what I thought I was _supposed_ to do, instead of doing what I _should have_ done. I didn't change overnight, but that first visit opened my eyes to things I had blinded myself to to try to pretend everything was okay."

"But it wasn't okay, it was never okay." Quinn's broken voice interrupted.

"Oh, sweetie, I know, and I am so, so, very sorry. There is nothing I can do will ever make up for that. No amount of words or apologies can ever make up for the life you were forced to live. I am truly, utterly sorry for everything your father and I put you through…"

"Don't apologize for him!" Quinn snapped, sitting up a bit on the couch to lean against the arm. She ran her hand through her hair angrily. Quinn wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore. She was lost and confused and just angry. She didn't know who this woman was sitting in front of her, looking just as lost and broken, and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"Quinn?"

Quinn had almost forgot that her love sat next to her, listening to every word her mother had spoken. She looked up, falling instantly into the love and concern that filled Rachel's eyes.

"I know you need time to think about what your mother is telling you, time to process everything, but please don't pull away."

Quinn shook her head and sighed. "I can't promise anything."

"There… there's something else."

Quinn bit her lip. If Rachel was the one prefacing the next part of their discussion, there was no way it could be good.

"I wasn't going to tell you, but Rachel insisted you'd want to know."

Quinn felt the dread begin to boil in her stomach. "W-what is it?"

"I… I'm fine, I'm healthy, the doctor's gave me the all clear…" Judy stumbled over her words and looked up at Rachel for help.

"Your mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. She's been in remission for over two years now."

Quinn felt like she'd been punched in the gut. No fuckin' way. No. She just…. just no. The two women watched as Quinn untangled herself from the couch and stepped around them, heading towards the door, and as much as they both wanted to go after her, they knew she needed time.

Quinn stopped and briefly looked around, finally realizing she was in her childhood home, though it looked nothing like the last time she'd walked out the door. The house that once felt like more of a museum than a home was now warm and welcoming. Everything from the ostentatious furniture and wall paper to the once plush carpets had been changed, just like everything else in her life seemed to be changing. _What the fuck was I even thinking coming back here? _Quinn thought to herself as she stood and stared at entryway wall, really seeing it for the first time. She couldn't help but be a little in awe of it. There were pictures of her, from the time she was in elementary school, all the way up to some beautiful black and white shots she'd had done the year before. There were pictures of Fran and the kids. Even pictures she'd once taken. A whole mural of frames tastefully overlapping until it covered almost the entire wall.

She once again felt the air leave her chest. She was staring at the proof her mother had changed. Not just the pictures, but what they meant. Her parents never displayed any pictures of them growing up. The house was always so cold, meant to be seen but not to truly be lived in. Now, where wallpaper and high priced art adorned the walls, warm caramel paint and family portraits embraced them. The expensive, plush carpet had given way to beautiful hardwood floors. Where furnishings that once belonged in a museum once stood now was filled with comfortable, well used furniture. And it was all too much. Quinn spun on her heal and left the house.

Rachel stared at the spot Quinn had stood moments ago. She knew Quinn was hurting and confused and overwhelmed and there was nothing she could do but give her the time and space she needed until she was ready to talk about it. And she hated it.

"I… I should probably go."

Judy looked up at the diva's soft spoken words. "I wish you wouldn't. I really would like to get to know the woman who has stolen my daughter's heart."

Rachel met Judy's eyes and let out a deep breath. It was silly to try to deny anything after the scene they'd caused in the club. She was still a little stunned by how quickly Judy had sprung into action to take care of her daughter; though she still warred between respecting the older blonde for it, and being jealous that she wasn't the one taking care of Quinn.

"I… she… well, she hasn't said she loves me." Rachel admitted quietly.

"And you'd be blind not to see it."

"Did you? See it? Would you have?"

She knew Judy understood what she was asking. Would she have seen it if she hadn't watched _Steel_, would she have known for sure if Quinn hadn't admitted it with the strength of her panic attack. They'd talked over the hour or so it took Quinn to regain consciousness, but it was very similar to what she finally told her daughter. Now she wanted to know for sure how Quinn's mother would handle this, because she'd be damned if she'd let the woman hurt Quinn another time.

Judy nodded and stood up. "Would you like some coffee?" She asked in lieu of an answer, not waiting for Rachel to respond before she turned and walked out of the room. Rachel watched the door that Judy had wandered through and finally decided to follow her, knowing it was the only way she'd et answers. It seemed like the apple really didn't fall far from the tree. Whenever Quinn wanted to think, she did one of two things, she worked out –walked, jogged, biking, anything to get her moving. Or she cooked. Apparently the latter was a habit she learned from her mother.

Rachel stood awkwardly in the Fabray kitchen and watched as Judy puttered around the kitchen, first starting an elaborate coffee machine, then digging out different ingredients and utensils. Judy finally stopped and turned towards Rachel.

"You know, I think Quinn was blind to it, but I always saw it there, right under the surface. I guess that's part of the reason I pushed her so hard. Why I wanted her to be head cheerleader, to be the president of the celibacy club, to do anything she could to be normal. I know that's not fair to her, and after I started watching her show, I realized how wrong it was to do that to her. I actually started to go to a few PFlag meetings after I saw her kiss another woman on the show. It was my wake up call, I guess you could say. It wasn't easy, but, well, your fathers' are amazing."

"My dads?"

"You do know they run the local Pflag correct?" Rachel nodded in understanding. "They really were great about answering my questions and concerns and stupidity."

"It's not stupidity."

"No, it was. It was stupid of me to try to force Quinn to be something she wasn't. I believe you were around at the time her father kicked her out." Judy grimaced as she looked down into the bowl of flour she was mixing. "When I _let_ him kick her out without saying a damn word." The woman hesitated for a moment before she turned away, grabbing something out of the cabinet. Rachel had a feeling she was also wiping her eye and her suspicion was confirmed as she watched the woman dab her eyes. "I think, I would like to think I'm smart enough to have seen it. Even if I never saw a minute of _Steel _or never thought about the possibility of Quinn being a lesbian, or whatever she identifies as, I think I would have saw what was happening between the you and my daughter. For one, you two are a bit obvious, obliviously so. You two stare at each other like two people in love do." Judy turned and began to scoop out dough onto the pan she'd grabbed. "I may not have handled it as well, if I did not have some sort of previous idea. I would hedge to bet that is more along the lines of what you wanted to ask me."

Judy had looked up and locked eyes with Rachel, almost challenging her to ask. "I know you have questions, real questions, so why don't we save the small talk for after?"

Rachel stared at the woman who stared straight back and finally nodded her head. Rachel straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. "Fine. I want to know is how you will handle our relationship? This isn't something that is bound to stay quiet long. Quinn doesn't want to hide it, and I'm not ashamed of who I love. Quite the opposite actually. So it will be on the cover of magazines, in every newspaper, plastered on the front page of websites. Our names will be trending on Twitter and on the lips of everybody in this town. Every single person you know will know your daughter is gay. And every damn one of them will have an opinion. Some will be favorable, most will not. Your friends will look at you in _that _way. Your pastor will corner you. You'll loose friends even if you don't support us. You will get hundreds of calls a day trying to get information from you. You will get calls telling you that you are going to hell for allowing your daughter to follow this path. Just when you think it's all died down, or blown over, someone will spot us with a male lead and it will bring up allegations of cheating and the windstorm will start up again. Or we'll get engaged. Or have a child. Or star in a new movie. There are a million different reasons and none of them really matter. What does matter is how you will handle it. What I want to know is how you will treat Quinn now that you know for sure she is gay?" Rachel raised a finger to indicate she wasn't finished. "What I want to know if you're going to hurt her again? She wants a relationship with you, even if the idea of one scares the hell out of her, and if you can't handle this? Her being gay? The crap that will come from it when she comes out? You need to tell her now. Like right this moment, before she gets any more invested in this. Yes, it will hurt her, but she'll at least be able to move forward. If you decide later that you can't do this? She is strong and she has come so, so very far, but you have the chance to completely break her."

Judy watched the brunette sitting at the island across from her in awe. "I want to answer you honestly, Rachel. I want to say without a doubt that I won't hurt her and that I completely support her, but you've given me a lot to think about."

Rachel sat quietly as the woman fell silent, watching as she continued to prep what seemed to be a rather large batch of peanut butter cookies. She smiled almost to herself as she noticed that each of the ingredients were vegan friendly and it gave her a little bit of hope. She knew she was pushing Quinn's mom, but right now, someone needed to be brutally honest with her for Quinn's sake.

"I think on the surface, I was more than willing to accept Quinn." Judy's soft voice finally broke the silence. "I didn't mean to scare her today. I honestly thought it would be a good way to break the ice." Judy snorted to herself. "I actually had that line planned ever since Fran told me she was reconnecting with her sister. Of course Quinn would be upset. I didn't think about what all accepting her would mean, and I thank you for laying it out for me, but knowing doesn't mean I am going to run, Rachel. Going through it –I would go through anything for my daughter's happiness. I don't have a great track record with that; I've turned my back on her too many times in the past. I was incapable of loving her the way she should have been loved; I wasn't a mother to her. I've given her enough reasons to think I wouldn't accept her for who she is, that I would turn my back on her." Rachel could hear the self-deprecation coating her voice and made her way around the island. She laid her hand on Judy's arm, stopping her frantic movements, but otherwise stayed silent. She felt Judy give an uncharacteristic shrug, the movement stiff and unpracticed as the woman looked over at her and gave her a sad smile. "I don't want to hurt her, Rachel, I swear to you. The only way I can show that to her, to you, that I'm not that same woman I was, not the same woman who hurt her is by showing her how I've changed. If she lets me. I have made so many mistakes and as much as I want, I can't take away the pain she's felt. But hopefully, if she allows me, I may at least ease it some. I was serious when I told her I'm not looking for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. All I'm hoping for is that she will be willing to give me a chance."

"I can do that."

Both women jumped at the rough, gravelly sound of Quinn's voice.

"How much of that did you hear, dear?"

Quinn gave her mother a shaky smile. "Enough."


	15. Comfort and Stars

**The beginning of Hanukkah starts tomorrow so I thought this was the perfect time to get this chapter out. It's a day late, but with Christmas pageants to attend, a house to clean, and trying to get packed, I'm surprised I've gotten anything written this week. ****I'm not Jewish but I tried to be as accurate as possible. ****That being said any and all mistakes are my own! To all my Jewish readers out there...**

**HAPPY HANUKKAH!**

* * *

><p>"I'm really sorry we missed the lighting the candles tonight, Rae. I know the holiday means a lot to you and your dads." Rachel loved the crooked small smile Quinn sent her way when she handed her three gifts, one from each of her dad's and one from herself.<p>

The corners of her lips slowly lifted upward into a lazy smile as she settled herself on the bed across from Quinn. "We still have three days left, and it's not the first time I've missed a night or two of Hanukkah for some reason or another. Technically, Hanukkah is not a religious holiday even though it is the most well-known Jewish holiday. Really, it is a celebration of a great miracle, so I guess it's not as bad as say, skipping out on Passover." They had ended up spending the evening talking with Judy for hours. Rachel had tried to leave to give the women time to bond but both of them insisted she stay. It was nice to get to see a side of Quinn that she didn't know and to get to know her mother just a little bit. It had been nice, a bit stressful, but overall nice. Everything about it though had worn them both out, and she knew that Quinn was still a little weighed down by the experience.

Quinn leaned against the head-board and played with the edge of the wrapping paper covering on of the boxes in her hand. She shook her head at herself, realizing that something that such a big part of Rachel, something that was a large part of Puck as well, she knew virtually nothing about. She never took the time with Puck to find out, having pretty much washed her hands of religion at the time and now she felt like she was missing out on something so vitally important to the woman she loved. Maybe it had something to do with rekindling her relationship with her mother, or maybe it was because of Rachel, but she kind of wanted to know more. It wasn't like she was planning on switching religions, but it would be nice to share something like that with Rachel.

"Tell me about it? Like, I know there was some battle or something over a temple and there was like a lamp or something that only had oil for a day but it ended up burning for eight? Which is why you have eight nights right?" Quinn looked up at Rachel through her lashes and watched as Rachel tried to bite back her smile.

"You really want to know?" When she nodded Rachel's smile spread into a full grin, making her heart soar just a little bit at the site.

"Okay, well, like I said, it really isn't a religious holiday; it's not in the Torah but it does have a lot of the same morals and values. Jewish religious holidays would be like Rosh Hahanah, Yom Kippur, and Passover, to name a few. And you have the basic storyline down about the celebration." Quinn smiled as she watched Rachel settle into story telling mode.

"The Greeks were great philosophers and they accepted the Torah as a book of wisdom, though they never embraced it as something holy. The Jewish Temple was seized by Syrian-Greek soldiers who made the observance of Judaism an offense punishable by death, forcing the Jewish population to worship Zeus. After many years under Greek rule, they made learning the Torah illegal, along with anything to do with Judaism. It was a time of persecution for all Jews but eventually a small band of Jews rose up against the Greek armies. They became known as the Maccabees, a word that means hammer in Hebrew. They would study Torah and when the Greeks came around, they would pretend to be playing a game, dreidel. Finally, after years of gathering Jewish fighters, and scoring small victories, they led a revolt and succeeded. The Maccabees retook their ancestral land and on the twenty-fifth day of Kislev, the third month of the Jewish year, they made their way to the Beit Hamikdash, the second Temple, which had been desecrated by the Grecian army. They rummaged through the ruins to find only one flask of pure olive oil with which to light the makeshift menorah they hastily put together. As you said, there was only enough to burn for one night, but amazingly, the oil lasted for eight. Just enough time for another batch of oil to be created. And since we don't really celebrate the war and conflict that led up to recapturing the Jewish temple, we celebrate the miracle of oil."

Quinn took Rachel's hand from where it sat on the bed between them and kissed her palm. She loved hearing Rachel talk. She wasn't sure when that had changed; she found that though it had once drove her up the wall she now found comfort in it. And after the upheaval of today, of being faced with her mother and losing control, having a panic attack –which was something she thought she out grew when she left Lucy behind in middle school, hearing Rachel basically tell her mother she was in love with her, and her mother not only being okay with it, but still wanting to be a part of her life? Yeah, it was a bit overwhelming and right now, she just needed normalcy. She needed Rae talking a mile a minute about something she was passionate about, so she softly asked Rachel to continue. Rachel looked at her for a moment before she nodded and proceeded.

"Basically, each night an additional candle on the Hanukkiah, or menorah, is lit. I'm sure you noticed that we say blessings, three berakhot: the blessing over the candles, the blessing for Hanukkah -a pray for the miracle of the oil and our ancestors, and the Shehecheyanu, which is said the first night and is a blessing said on new or unusual experiences. We don't often perform Shabbat, but we always during Hanukkah, so we'll be lighting the candles earlier that day than we have all week." Rachel knew Quinn was still a little lost in her head when she didn't respond or ask questions as she normally would. Still, she somehow knew that Quinn just needed her to carry on a bit longer, so she tried to think of every little piece of information she could. She pulled her feet under her and crossed her legs, letting Quinn play with her fingers as continued.

"My family passes out one small gift each after dinner and lighting the candles. We tend to save the bigger gifts for when we celebrate Christmas with Daddy's family. You know that I am a performer and that my love of all things music comes from my fathers, so we usually tend to sing traditional songs after we light the candles, but not everyone does this. Some people believe that every person should light their own menorah because it brings more light into the world, but I grew up just lighting one as a family, and most of my Jewish friends did too. It is also a tradition to put the menorah by the window for everyone to see in order to publicize the miracle of Hanukkah. This doesn't happen nearly as often anymore, because there are dangers associated with that, but many people like my family have an electronic one that we put in our window. Dad has one of those he got from his Bubbe, my great-grandmother, but truthfully I think it is as unsafe as putting burning candles next to our curtains. It's so old that I'm sure one day it's going to cause a fire. Of course, when we light that, it doesn't count as lighting the candles."

Rachel hesitated and shook her head. She knew there were better parts of the celebration or her religion that she could talk about, even memories she had of it from when she was a child, but it was hard to organize her thoughts when she couldn't tear her eyes from the woman across from her; it was hard to think at all when the woman was touching her so softly, seeming to be content to just listen to the sound of her voice no matter what she was saying. Which was probably good because she honestly wasn't even really sure what she was saying. Information just leaked from her mind to her lips without really thinking about it. She was more entranced with the blonde across from her, just watching Quinn as the woman watched her fingers slide in and around Rachel's. She was stunningly beautiful and it made Rachel's voice catch for a moment when Quinn looked up at her, her eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"Keep going."

Rachel nodded and swallowed around the emotion that suddenly overwhelmed her. "W-we have some uh, some traditions my family does. L-like, for one night every Hanukkah, we collect money for tzedakah –which basically means charity. When I was younger it was change that we'd gathered in little banks throughout the year, but now with my Broadway success, I-uh I make a donation to a different charity every year and ask my fans to do the same. This way we are giving a gift instead of receiving one." Rachel looked off to the side. She couldn't keep talking if Quinn was going to look at her like that. "Again, this is just a tradition for my family. I love it, but I don't-"

"I love you."

Rachel's eyes shot up to Quinn's in shock, her heart beating triple time in her chest at the interruption. Quinn looked just as surprised at the words, but by the grin on her face Rachel knew she meant it. Rachel continued to blink at the blonde sitting in front of her, trying to process the words she was sure she had heard. If she had heard right.

"I-I… what?"

Quinn looked down with a sheepish smile, somewhat embarrassed. She hadn't even meant to say the words out loud, but she couldn't, and wouldn't take them back.

"I'm in love with you, Rae." Quinn shrugged. "I know, it's probably too soon to say, or not the right time, but I can't help it becau-"

Quinn was cut off by two warm lips sliding over hers insistently, her hand automatically rising to tangle in the brunette's hair as she parted her lips. Rachel slid up onto her knees, her presents falling to the side as she kissed Quinn with every ounce of passion and love she'd felt for her for so long.

Rachel pressed her forehead against Quinn's when they parted, panting and grinning widely. "God, I love you too, Quinn. I have for a long time."

Quinn ran her fingers over Rachel's high cheekbone and smiled. "Yeah?"

"I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want to scare you away."

Quinn huffed happily and brought her lips to Rachel's again, unable to ignore the pull. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Rachel Berry."

"I love you too Quinn Fabray." Rachel dropped her head back down, sliding her lips over Quinn's. Their kisses became more and more insistent and it was only the pain of a box stabbing into her hip that made Rachel pull back. Looking between them she laughed at the somewhat crushed presents scatter across Quinn's lap.

"Maybe we should unwrap these?" Rachel chuckled as she sat back.

"Oh, I do believe there is something I much rather be unwrapping at the moment." Quinn wiggle her eyes brows and laughed at the sudden darkening of Rachel's eyes. Her laughter died in her throat as she took in the sight before her. Quinn was certain she'd never seen anything more beautiful than a well kissed Rachel Berry, hair mused, lips swollen, a light flush across her skin. She licked her lips hungrily as she tried to fight down her suddenly raging hormones.

"Oh no, I will not have our first time under my parent's roof, where we would have to monitor our actions as not to disturb them." Rachel shook her head adamantly. "And not before we…" She paused for a moment and sat back on her heels, looking up nervously at her love.

"Rae?" Quinn watched Rachel retreat into her head a little bit and waited, but when nothing more came, she leaned down and caught Rachel's eye. "Before we what?"

"Quinn, will do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A date?"

Rachel nodded. "It just occurred to me that while we have become close friends, and have recently extended that title, all of our previous outings were just as that –friends. And because of that friendship, we have missed quite a few traditional dating steps. Really, when you think about it, we've almost done everything in reverse. We already know everything about one another, or the important things anyway. We moved in with each other over six months ago. We've already shared our first kiss and confessed our love. So I think it only appropriate that we go on an actual date."

Quinn smiled and nodded. "A date? I could do that."

"So yes?"

"Yes, Rae, I would love to go on a date with you."

Rachel shot forward and kissed Quinn quickly, bubbling with happiness. She felt like she could run a mile, or sing every word from the _Sound of Music._

"Good, I will plan everything out and let you know when and where. Now," Rachel forced herself to sit back, and cross her legs, even if she was practically dancing where she sat, "open your presents."

Quinn smiled and shook her head. "Which one first?"

"Open daddy's." Rachel said, pointing to the somewhat crushed box on top.

She'd gotten a journal and pen set from Hiram –she had told the men during one of their calls how much she liked to write so she was touched that they remembered. Rachel had given her a hard copy version of Bittersweet, one of her favorite Lesbian Litt books. LeRoy's gift made her laugh though –a vegetarian cookbook. The night before she'd given Rachel a cookbook stand made from reclaimed wood and a certificate for lessons with one of the hottest up and coming vegan chefs on the west coast.

Rachel smiled and muttered something along the lines of great minds before she turned to her own gifts. She smiled when she opened the gift her Daddy had given her. She slid closer so Quinn could see as well. It was a framed picture of Quinn and her he had taken during the one holiday they'd shared together a few years back. She didn't even remembered this picture being taken but it was beautifully captured, warm and filled with the colors of the holiday.

"God, look at us." Quinn whispered as she ran her fingers over the edge of the frame. "No wonder your dads seemed to know."

The two women in the picture were surrounded by friends and family but seemed to have eyes only for one another. Quinn's arm was draped over the back of the chair, her body leaned in towards Rachel. It was apparent that she'd just whispered something in Rachel's ear because the little diva had her head thrown back laughing, both of their eyes sparkling with happiness. Rachel ran her fingers over the image lovingly.

"Sometimes we are blind to what is right in front of us."

"I'm glad a few annoying people in our lives wouldn't let us continue to obliviously fumble around our feelings."

"I have a feeling that April…"

"…And Kurt."

"And probably Santana... are never going to let us hear the end of this." Rachel looked up at Quinn and cocked an eyebrow. "Kurt? Really?"

"Yeah, open your present and then I'll explain. It kind of goes with the story." Rachel opened the simple box and smiled at the star that sat cushioned within. "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." Quinn's smoky voice caressed the words that were inscribed on the back of the necklace. "When we were in New York, Kurt asked my why I called you such a juvenile name like Rae…"

"Phonetically, it is an appropriate nickname." Rachel interrupted out of habit which made Quinn smile. She lightly place her hands on Rachel's arms where they sat on her knees, her hands still holding the small gift box between them.

"True, but that's not exactly why I call you Rae. I'm going try to explain it to you better than I did to him, but I'm warning you, it might sound a bit cheesy."

"It's a good thing cheesy looks adorable on you."

Quinn rolled her eyes and fought the need to run her hand over her face and shake her head. "I must really love you, because I'm going to let that one go." Quinn chuckled before growing quiet. She really did want to explain it better than she had to Kurt, because that had been a jumbled mess, and this was too important to mess up.

"Every time I think of the sun, I think of the warmth of laying in sunrays. There's this quote that I read back at Yale that always made me think of you. It reads, 'He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.' You always loved stars, they were always your thing, but to me, you were always the sun. My eyes were always drawn to you and even when I tried not to see you, you were always there. Even back in high school you had this… You were my guiding light, who made me see what I was doing wrong and made me want to be better. You were the one who lit the path for me when I felt like I was stumbling in the dark, who would chase after my like the light of a dying day. You always had this way of looking at me and even when I tried to hide from it, your light still encompassed me. You shine brighter than anyone I have ever known, Rachel. You walk in the room and instantly it becomes brighter just because you are there. And even on the coldest days, your smile alone keeps me warm, just like a ray of sunshine."

Quinn saw the tears and happiness that filled Rachel's eyes and tried not to roll her eyes at herself. She was not an overly sentimental person, but she was trying to tell her Rae what exactly she meant to her and apparently it turned her into just as big of a mush ball as Santana was with Brittany. She shrugged internally. Maybe that wasn't such a horrible thing if it made Rachel look at her like that. She lifted her hand and wiped away the lone tear that trailed down the brunette's cheek.

"Galileo was one of the first men to show physical evidence that the planets rotate around the sun. I chose the Galileo quote because you are the center of my universe, you are my star, you are my ray of sunshine, and I know with you by my side that I have nothing to fear."

"I… Quinn… that was beautiful."

Quinn breathed out a quiet laugh as the small woman settled herself in Quinn's arms, her head just above Quinn's heart.

"I love you." Rachel sighed into Quinn's neck, never meaning those words more than she did in that moment.

"I love you too, Rae."

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><p><strong>A HUGE shout out and thank you to icesk8er -without her help this chapter wouldn't be. Thank you so much lady for your help, insight, and encouragement. Hope you all enjoyed. Keep an eye out for the second Hanukkah chapter later this week.<strong>


	16. Hanukkah and Belonging

**So I've been super busy with finals, packing, and trying to get everything that the holidays bring done, so I apologize ahead of time if this chapter isn't 100% up to par. I wanted to get it posted before I take off for The Great White North on Saturday. Fourteen hours, in a car, with three kids, three adults, and a dog. Hopefully if I have any downtime in the next 48 hours I'll get another chapter out. ****Wish me luck! **

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><p>Quinn stumbled over a pair of shoes as she walked into the door of the Berry residence, surprised by the level of noise that assaulted her ears as she entered the house. When she left that morning to have breakfast with her mother, the house had been clean, quiet, and unassuming. As she looked around at the almost over-the-top blue and white decorations that covered the hallways and living room she couldn't help but wonder if she had just stepped into an alternate universe. She picked up the shoes, smaller than any that she could picture Rachel or her father's wearing and moved them to the side closet, checking her watch to confirm she'd only been gone for a little over three hours as she stepped around huge bins, bags, and shoes.<p>

"Quinn!" The woman smiled into the massive man's shoulder as she was swept up in a hug. "You have to save me!"

Quinn laughed at LeRoy's whispered plea. "What in the world is going on here?"

LeRoy stepped back and looked at the chaos and destruction that surrounded them. "Please tell me that Rachel warned you about Hiram's family?"

Quinn eyed him warily and looked back towards the door, honestly wondering if she could make a run for it. "Should I be scared?"

"Terrified. We both should run for it now while we still can." The man's words sent a shiver down her back, but she could see the love and amusement that filled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He whispered as the kitchen door swung open and the noise level rose.

"Quinn!" Rachel bounded over to her girlfriend and threw her arms around her neck. It hit Rachel that she hadn't told Quinn about the family that would be joining them from all over the state tonight and hugged Quinn a little tighter, happy when the woman seemed to pull her closer, content to just hold her. She knew with the chaos of her family there wouldn't likely be another moment like this until the holidays were over.

Quinn hugged her close and rolled her eye at the wink LeRoy sent her before he sulked back to the kitchen when Hiram yelled for him. She decided to ignore the man and snuggled closer to her love, her heart bursting with love at the feel of the woman in her arms who seemed content to just stay there.

"Would it sound silly to say I missed you?" Quinn whispered into Rachel's hair before depositing a kiss there.

"Of course not. I would find it utterly sweet and romantic and feel inclined to tell you I missed you too."

Quinn grinned down at the loquacious woman. "In that case, I missed you Rae."

Rachel beamed up at the blonde before closing the distance between them, lightly brushing her lips across Quinn's. "I missed you too, love."

The two women quickly lost themselves in the kiss, loving the feelings that each slow caress brought them. Only the sound of an overly loud throat clearing behind them sprung them apart.

"Oye! And what do we have here?"

"Aunt Machla!" Rachel turned around and eyed the older woman glowering at them and moved to step in front of Quinn protectively. Her great-aunt was the type of woman who fed into every single Jewish stereotype there was: she was a loud, rather robust woman, with thick lips, and dark beady eyes, who made a style of wearing mitpachat and long skirts. She would yell _oy vey_ and other pointless Yiddish phrases because the woman would tell anyone who stood still long enough to listen that she fluent in both Yiddish and Hebrew, even though she had only learned as much as any of them while studying their religion. She was stingy, nagging, loud, overbearing, and overprotective. It was the last point that had Rachel the most worried.

Rachel was one of the few female children in the family, her grandmother and aunt all had boys, and only one of those boys had a daughter other than herself. Of course, all of her uncles were very protective of her, but her Aunt Machla could out do them all. The one and only time the woman had met Finn, Rachel was sure her fearsome aunt had caused the boy to wet himself a little. She knew Quinn was a stronger person and more than capable of standing up for herself, but she was afraid when pitted against her equally strong-minded relative, things could go very wrong. She watched the older woman cross her arms and stare them both down and groaned to herself. This couldn't end well.

Quinn felt the need to stand a bit straighter as the old woman ran her dark eyes up and down the two of them, appraising both her and Rachel. She stepped up closer to Rachel and placed her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder gallantly and saw the spark in the woman's eyes.

The movement broke Rachel from her thoughts and she swallowed loudly. "Auntie, I would like to introduce you to my… girlfriend… Quinn Fabray."

Quinn couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. It was the first time Rachel had said those words out loud, had introduced her as such, and even though she knew she was probably in for a world of trouble with the obviously cross older woman, she couldn't help the feelings it gave her. She smiled at Rachel as she stepped up next to her, grasping Rachel's hand in her left as she extended her right to the woman before them.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you. Rae has told me so much about you." She fibbed through her teeth and waited with her hand hanging in the air. The older woman searched her face before looking down to where Rachel's hand had intertwined with Quinn's. The two younger women both released the breath they were holding when the older woman let her stern look fall and shook Quinn's hand.

"All good things I'm sure."

"Of course." Quinn ground out, trying not to growl as the older woman squeezed her hand hard. For an old woman, she was a lot stronger than Quinn first gave her credit for. She tried to hold in the groan when the woman finally let go of her hand and turned to her niece.

"Well, I didn't know you were a faygala like your fathers. At least this one is prettier than that amoretz you brought a few years ago."

"Auntie! Finn was not an idiot."

"My poor sister would turn in her grave to know you ended up with him. He was a shtik drek and you know it. He was loud, rude, and not Jewish. That smuck would have just held you back. You deserved much better."

"Well, thankfully, I have found much better." Rachel grinned slightly at the woman next to her.

"That remains to be seen. What happened to the pisher anyway?"

Quinn tightened her grip on Rachel's hand. She didn't understand all the words, but the context was clear enough that she understood their meaning. 'Aunt Machla' didn't care one bit for Finn and was now asking why Rachel and he weren't together any more. It was a sore area for her Rae no matter how you looked at it.

"H-He ah, he died Aunt Mach. A few years ago." Quinn pulled Rachel to her when she heard her voice crack. Six years still wouldn't dim the pain of that, for all of them, but especially for Rachel. He had been her first love, her first everything. Quinn couldn't help but be envious of that, but he had been a part of what made Rachel was she was today and she'd never begrudge the man that. Instead, she tried to calm the woman in her arms, slowly rubbing circles on her back to keep her from crying. She kissed the top of Rachel's head as the woman buried her nose into her neck.

"Oh Shiksa, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Luzzem Mama! What are you doing to my little cousin!"

"I'm fine Joel, I promise." Rachel sighed as she wiped the corner of her eyes, even though she still leaned heavily against Quinn's side.

The issue was soon forgotten as the girls were swept into the chaos of the Levi/Berry family, with more and more family members showing up throughout the day. The kitchen seemed to be the gathering place with everyone cooking and talking over each other. Quinn breathed a little easier when Machla and Rina finally let her go. The two women were powerhouses. She'd found out that Machla was the head of the family after Hiram's mother passed away a few years before. Rina, the wife of one of Rachel's uncle's, had taken her under her wing and was showing her how to make traditional latke and sufganiyot, while Aunt Machla taught her how to make a cauliflower leek kugel that she was told was one of Rachel's favorite dishes. The women would make the Spanish Inquiry look like a day in the park, and after three hours, she was utterly overwhelmed.

"My little Hiram tells me you're like his daughter and to treat you nice. So I'll treat you like his daughter and tell you to go get me some walnuts." Quinn laughed as she was shooed towards the pantry, just happy for the excuse to get away for a moment. She wasn't about to tell the old woman she had no idea where the Berry's kept walnuts, and that other than this trip she'd only been inside their house less than a handful of times. Oh no, she was taking the excuse and running with it.

Her family was quiet. Their meals around the holidays were always catered in. She couldn't even remember baking cookies with her mother. So all of the family, husbands and wives, aunts and uncles, cousins of every age, all crowded into a few rooms, talking, cooking, and being downright nosey about each other's lives was all extremely new to her. It was nice, but she was glad for the moment alone. Quinn sighed and laid her forehead on the edge of the shelf in front of her, tensing when she heard the door open behind her.

"I am so, so, sorry." Rachel whispered as she hugged Quinn from behind.

Quinn laughed softly and turned in Rachel's arms. "It's fine, Rae. I just needed a breather."

Rachel laid her head on Quinn's collarbone, loving how they just seemed to fit together. "I was so caught up in spending time with you I completely forgot to warn you. I know they can all be a little overwhelming."

"In all honesty, your father did try to warm me. And now I can testify that you come by your large vocabulary and need to talk honestly. I seriously think there are some people out there that can out Berry, Berry."

Rachel leaned back and glared at the blonde playfully, before sighing. "How bad was it really?"

"Rae, really it's fine." She shook her head after she received another look and sighed. "Okay, it was kind of horrible, but they love you, Rae. And as someone else who also loves you, I can respect that. Anyway," Quinn grinned and buffed her nails on her shirt. "I think I received the Levi family seal of approval."

Rachel humphed and pushed herself away. "Highly unlikely. Daddy didn't even get that until he and Dad had been married for three years and I was born."

Quinn smiled and pulled Rachel back into her arms. "I'm being serious, Rachel. Apparently your dad called me his daughter, before even knowing we were together, and that led to a round of questioning that would make the CIA proud and give Sue Sylvester a run for her money. After I'd answered everything but the color of my underwear, I was informed by your Aunt Rina that I was expected at every family gathering from here on out. And Great Aunt Machla told me if I wasn't there, she'd send her boys out after me. Granted that came on the heels of being threatened within an inch of my life but…"

"Holy shit. You received the Levi family seal of approval." The rare curse word and absolutely flabbergasted look on Rachel's face made it all worth it as Quinn threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, no. You don't understand. Quinn, that never happens on a first meeting. Never. And this means that they're soon going to start demanding a wedding and little Jewish babies. Quinn, we just started dating. Hell, we haven't even started dating. You're meeting my family and we haven't even went on a date–"

Rachel melted into Quinn as the woman thoroughly ravished her mouth, all her fears and worries and everything faded away as she clung to strong shoulders. She groaned as Quinn slowly walked them backwards, pinning Rachel between her body and the door behind them, her hands on either side of Rachel's face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rae. They're not going to scare me away." She whispered against the smaller woman's lips. "We'll get to all that eventually, right now, right now I just want to kiss you." Rachel nodded as she pressed herself up as much as she could, capturing Quinn's lips between her own.

Quinn thanked Sue and her years of cheer training as she spun quickly, landing between the floor and the small diva now sprawled out on top of her. Aunt Rina held the pantry door handle, looking down at them in shock. Quinn slowly moved her eyes around the suddenly quiet kitchen as each of the occupants looked down at them in surprise. Rachel slowly moved her hand from under Quinn's shirt knowing that there was no way the move had gone unnoticed and blushed to her roots.

"Vey is mir!" Aunt Machla burst out, holding her hands over her stomach as she laughed loudly. Soon everyone in the room but the two women sprawled out on the floor was laughing, taking in the very mused appearance of the diva and her blonde girlfriend.

Not only had they been caught making out in the pantry, they'd fallen out of said pantry when the door had been opened. Rachel swore after years of being slushied she was used to being humiliated, but each of those moment combined had nothing on the awkwardness of having to pick herself and her girlfriend off the floor in full view of her entire family. Rachel shook her head and grumbled under her breath as she slowly stood up and reached down to help Quinn off the floor.

"Thank you for breaking my fall."

Quinn ran her hand through her hair and smiled nervously, still eyeing the giggling group that had turned back to their cooking. "Uh, yeah, sure. No problem."

"Rachel! My dearest grand-niece. What is this? Instead of spending time with your family, you're canoodling you're your haymish. Aye!" The two women danced out of the way as the old woman whipped a towel in their direction. "Get, get out of my kitchen the two of you! Your schpilkes is even making the babe mashugina!" Quinn jumped as the old woman glared in their direction, but she could see the light dancing in her eye and nodded, dragging a sputtering Rachel from the room.

"Well, that was utterly mortifying." Rachel sighed as she threw herself back onto her bed.

"I think you broke my tailbone."

"You only have yourself to blame. If you hadn't accosted me in the pantry, none of that would have happened."

Quinn grinned as she crawled up Rachel's body and leaned down, letting her lips graze the diva's ear. "And whose hand was up my shirt?" She felt the shiver that ran down Rachel's spine and felt every nerve in her body spring to life. It might have been mortifying, but it had only momentarily dampened the spark between them.

Rachel groaned and pulled Quinn against her as she felt the woman's lips graze over her ear, down her neck. A warm tongue pressed against her pulse point made her suddenly hyper aware of the woman on top of her, their bodies pressed together from sternum to thigh. She ran her hands through silky soft blonde strands, holding Quinn in place as she nibbled and sucked her way along her shoulders and neck, slowly making her way up Rachel's neck. Each nip sent shots of electricity shooting down Rachel's body; her breast ached in response, and she could feel every beat of her heart throughout her body. As Quinn's fingers begin to wander farther under her shirt, Rachel groaned, her hips canting forward as her legs spread, welcoming Quinn's weight between them. Both women froze for a moment at the feeling.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" Rachel whispered as Quinn kissed the corner of her mouth.

Quinn held herself up on one arm as she let her hand wander over Rachel's clothed torso, staring down at the flush woman before her, her fingers trailing over the soft bit of flesh that covered Rachel's stomach, itching to move in either direction.

"Do you have any idea how bad I want to touch you right now?" Quinn asked in reply, fighting her body's urge to rock her hips down.

Rachel felt Quinn's breast push against her own with every heavy breath they both took. She could feel her rock hard nipples pressing into her and she knew Quinn could feel the heat pouring from her center. Flickering flames of desire shot through her as she felt the soft pads of Quinn's fingertips dancing along her hipbone and side.

"I swear to all that is holy, if you don't stop touching me like that." Rachel had never heard her own voice sound so husky. It was like every point they connected was begging for more and her entire body was trembling with need.

Quinn moaned as Rachel's thighs wrapped around her and the diva flipped their positions, her hands swiftly sliding under Quinn's shirt, throwing the offending item across the room. Quinn's hands shot to Rachel's hips, whimpering as Rachel ground her body down. Liquid desire flooded through her, pooling between her legs.

"Rae? Fuck, Rachel."

Quinn groaned as the woman latched on to her neck, sucking and licking as she rocked against Quinn's stomach, her hands moving dangerously closer to Quinn's breast. She wanted to arch up into the touch, beg Rachel to strip her naked and take her.

"Rachel, baby, y-you, oh god, babe, you have to stop." Quinn panted, as she ran her hands up and down Rachel's back, unable to stop the sounds crossing her lips as she received a small nip in response.

"Don't want to."

The grunted response was almost enough to break Quinn's fragile control, but as the sound of _Forever, Young _rent through the air, the woman on top of her finally pulled away. Quinn wasn't sure if she wanted to saint whoever was on the other end of the phone or damn them for their timing.

"Daddy? Aren't you just down stairs?" Quinn was amazed at how Rachel had went from a panting and drop dead sexy, to innocent and controlled in the matter of seconds, her eyes shooting to the door as she heard laughter on the other side. "Really daddy, that's highly uncalled for. And we are both adults. Next time, I'll be sure to get a hotel room." Quinn's eyebrows shot up as the woman still straddling her shook her head and listened to whatever her father was saying on the other end of the call. "Fine, give us ten minutes."

Rachel huffed as she threw her phone back on the table beside them and looked back down, hungrily. She could still feel Quinn's warm hands splayed out on her back beneath her shirt. Her eyes tracked over Quinn's glorious abs and perfectly formed breast. And skin. Oh so much skin. Her whole body was throbbing and she knew she'd completely ruined the panties she was wearing. She debated ignoring her father's jabs, ignoring her self-imposed rules, ignoring her family that filled the house a story below them and sighed heavily.

"Maybe Daddy's right." She watched Quinn look up her, puzzled, and leaned down to peck her on the lips. "He suggested that he and Dad might have to institute an open door policy. And he needs us to go grab some walnuts. Something about a certain blonde had been sent to find them, but found my hand up her shirt instead." Rachel rolled her eyes as she finally moved off the woman beneath her. They really should have gotten a hotel.

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><p>"So cuz, what's the scoop on the blonde?"<p>

Rachel rolled her eyes at her cousin as he dropped himself on the floor next to her. Quinn had been corralled into helping set up the wide array of dishes that had been made that day and seemed happy to do so.

"Don't even think about it, Jacob." She glared over at the man who was only a year older than her, one of the twin sons of her Uncle Isaac and his wife Rita.

"Ah come on, we hazed you."

"That wasn't hazing; that was torture. Hazing stops after a certain point. You and Abe still torture me."

She groaned as she was thrown in a headlock and her hair was mused. "We can't help it if your so small!"

"Jacob Henry Levi. Let go of your cousin!" The man huffed and let go, though he left his arm draped over Rachel's shoulders.

"Thank you Aunt Rita." She tried to push her cousin's arm off her but it was like trying to move a herd of elephants. She finally gave up and threw her arms up. "What do you want?"

"Just to catch up with my favorite cousin."

Rachel let her shoulders slump. She knew she would probably end up regretting it, no telling what her cousin was up to, but the words meant a lot to her.

"Again," she said softer this time, "what do you want, Jacob?"

"Is it true that you and blondie were caught making out in the pantry?"

Rachel blushed and slapped at Jacob's stomach. "You're such a brat. And technically, no, we weren't caught." She blushed harder at the look he gave her. "We just, might have, possibly, fallen into the kitchen when someone opened the pantry door."

Quinn looked up at the sound of laughter and caught Rachel's eye, raising her eyebrow in question. Rachel looked like she was torn between killing the young man sitting next to her, or joining him in laughter. She smiled when Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head, letting her know everything was ok.

"You're good for her you know." Quinn turned to the woman next to her, completely forgetting which wife she was and which uncle she belonged to. There were just too many people to keep up with. The woman laughed softly. "I know. It's a little hard to cope with your first go round. I'm Sarah, Amos' wife."

"Rachel's grandparent's were all about Jewish names huh?" Quinn's hand shot to her mouth as she realized how bad that probably sounded. "I'm so sorry, that wasn't supposed to come out."

To her relief the woman in front of her just chuckled. "I like you. And yes they were, but look around you." The woman had a point. The time between lunch and supper had completely transformed the house –hand made pictures of dreidels and the Star of David covered the walls, strings of lights capped with dreidels we strung along open doorways and around windows. Blue and white snowflakes that were bigger than her head dangled from the ceiling. A huge menorah sat on one of the tables and a large blue and white flag hung behind it.

"So how long have you and Rachel been dating?" Sarah asked as she passed Quinn a stack of paper plates that was to be set out.

"Would you believe it if I told you officially it's been less than a week?"

"Yeah, no. No way. I've heard about you for years now." Quinn looked up at the tall redhead that had reached between her and Sarah to snag a piece of broccoli, earning him a hand smack from the older woman. She looked back at the couch where Rachel and a similar man sat, both talking animatedly with their hands.

"Abraham, you can wait just like everyone else." Quinn smiled as the man shrugged his shoulders and snatched the plates from Quinn's hands, turning to deposit them on the buffet table in the next room. "But he is right, she's talked about you for a while."

"I… honestly don't know if that's a good or a bad thing."

Sarah smiled slightly, "Oh, I remember you from when she was in high school. My brother-in-law would call me and ask me for advice. I think you're lucky that Aunt Machla is old and hasn't pieced it together yet. She'd probably have the boys skin your hide."

Quinn winced at the idea. Not that she didn't think she deserved it, and she told Rachel's aunt as much. She knew that she would never be able to erase that memory from most of their minds, and she was sure that if Rachel's Aunt Sarah knew, most of the family knew. She stopped berating herself internally when she felt a soft hand land on her arm.

"Hey, none of that. She's forgiven you, and if she can then the rest of us will as well." Quinn smiled up at the woman in thanks as she moved away to finish up the serving table.

"Are you okay?" She turned at the masculine voice next to her, surprised to see it was Rachel's dad. She liked both of Rachel's parents, but she'd always felt more comfortable with LeRoy. Even so, she didn't step away when Hiram wrapped his arm her and gave her a side hug. That was one thing she had quickly gotten used to. All of the Berry's were big on hugs. "You haven't run out of here screaming yet."

Quinn smiled at the man's attempt at humor. "No, it's… well it's different from every single family gathering I've ever been to, but it's nice."

"You seem to be getting along well. Aunt Machla was just gushing over you to my brothers. Be happy about that, she still doesn't like LeRoy."

"That's what Rachel was telling me, then proceeded to freak out about Jewish weddings, babies, and dates."

She was truly shocked when Hiram's hand shot up and covered her mouth. The wisp of a man leaned over and whispered, frightened, "Don't. Ever. Say those words. Where my aunt and sisters can hear you. You'll never get out alive."

She chuckled when he dropped his hand and stepped back, but it died in her throat with the look he gave her. "Seriously?"

"No, but the look on your face was priceless."

Quinn laughed and shoved the man away from her as he laughed loudly. "That is so not cool. First, I get told I may be splayed alive by one of your sister-in-laws, and then you tell me that. You people are horrible."

"Just trying to make you feel like you belong. You know even without your relationship with our Rachel, LeRoy and I have kind of gotten attached to you."

"Aww, don't get sentimental on me now old man. Just remember paybacks and all that." Quinn joked, knowing the man saw it as the defense mechanism it was and smiled when he just nodded his head and bumped shoulders with her.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait until Abe and Jake get a hold of you. Then you'll really be scared."

"Would you people stop threatening my girlfriend!" Rachel suddenly appeared in front of them, making them both jump a little as she stomped her foot. "I'd like us to last more and you all are determined to scare her off."

"Says the woman throwing the words wedding and babies around."

"That's not what I meant!" Rachel threw her hands up in the air and turned around, and walked out of the room.

"You better go after her." Quinn nodded and turned to follow the small woman out the back door. "And remind her we have to light the candles before sunset, so she needs to be quick about her tantrum." He yelled after her.

Quinn found Rachel with her arms wrapped around herself, sitting on her childhood swing set and sighed. Of course, neither of them had stopped to grab a coat before braving the western Ohio winter day and with the sun starting to go down, the temperature had already began to drop.

"Hey superstar, can I join you?"

"I figured Dad would be the one to chase after me."

Quinn shrugged as she sat down. "I figure you chased after me enough times in high school, I had to eventually pay you back. Plus, there's the titles of best friend and girlfriend that kinda says it's my job."

"You didn't have to, Quinn." Rachel sighed to herself. She wasn't even sure what caused the storm off. She just felt like everything was pressing in on her and she needed to get out. She felt bad for snapping at her dad and realized she might be a little bit mad about Quinn confiding that to her father –which in turn just made her feel even worse. She loved that fact that Quinn and her fathers not only got along, but actually seemed to truly care for one another. She knew that Quinn would have never in a million years told her own parents that Rachel had used those words, even if she explained that Rachel had been busy freaked out at the time. When she stopped acting like an ass, it actually warmed her to think that Quinn felt comfortable enough telling her dads that, no matter what the context.

"Yes, I did, Rae. Now, you want to tell me what's going on?"

Rachel shrugged and laid her head down on her girlfriend's shoulder. "It's just been a crazy few weeks and I guess it's just all hit me at once." She felt a little piece of her soul settle when Quinn wrapped her arms around her. "I mean, are we moving fast? It was only a few months ago I was living in New York and you were in LA and…" Rachel shrugged. "Everything seemed ok."

She didn't even know what she was trying to say or where she was going with the conversation so she let her words fall off and hang in the air above them.

"They _were_ ok. Everything _was_ fine. My life in LA was all right. I had a few friends, an amazing show, a great cast. You were doing well on Broadway, you had Kurt & Blaine and S & B. We talked on Skype and over the phone when our schedule permitted. Everything was acceptable."

Rachel felt her heart break, sure this was when Quinn was going to tell her that this was it for them, that she wanted to go back to that.

"It was fine, but it wasn't what either of us wanted. Can you honestly look back on the last few years and say you were happy? Because I can't. It _was _a satisfactory life, but why live with satisfactory when you can have exceptional? If you think this is going to fast, then ok, well take a step back. But please, please don't tell me you want to go back to that, because I don't think I could."

Rachel shot up and crawled into Quinn's lap, just needing to be closer, needing to reassure her. "You've made all these grand gestures and all these beautiful, eloquent speeches and for my rather large vocabulary, I don't have the words to describe what you mean to me or how you make me feel. Quinn, I don't want to us go back. You are my best friend, but you are so much more, and now that I've had a chance to experience that, I can't go back to seeing you as just that. Please trust me when I say I'm fully in this. If it were anyone else, it would be too much too soon and honestly, I did get overwhelmed. We've known each other for so long, and I swear it feels like I've always loved you. In some capacity, I think I always have. You fit Quinn, in every way, and that takes my breath away. You fit as my best friend, as my lover, as all that and more. You fit with me. You fit into my family. They love you Quinn, so much so that I'm having to fight off my cousins from pulling their usual family pranks. And god, the fact that they accept you, accept us, it shouldn't surprise me because of my dads, but I guess it did. It does."

"It's a bit overwhelming for me too, Rae. All of it, but especially your family. Even when they are making us both turn beat red, it's more acceptance than I've ever gotten before. I mean, you know my family history. Your entire family, most of who I just met today, have treated me better than my own parents did my entire life." Rachel buried herself deeper in Quinn's arms. "So please, please don't get mad at them for wanting to include me, or for teasing us, or playing pranks."

"I'll try. I just wish we had more time to live in our bubble before I had to share you."

"Speaking of bubbles, I think ours is about to be burst. Your daddy and Aunt Sarah keep peeking out the window and the sun is about to set."

"Oh!" Rachel popped up. "Shabbat! We have to hurry."

The two women were greeted with blankets, mugs of cocoa, and ushered into the family room where everyone stood waiting. Quinn was left speechless at the sound of the blended voices singing through the blessings. She'd heard it from the three Berry's for almost a week, but the addition of the rest of Hiram's family was stunningly beautiful as Hiram removed the _shamash_ from it's center resting place. The emotions she had kept at bay overflowed down her cheek as she was called forward to light the final candle of the night, never feeling more welcomed, loved, and accepted, never felt more like she belonged than she did in that moment.


	17. Dates and Birthdays

**Not one hundred percent sure about this chapter. It really didn't come out like I wanted it to no matter how many times I've rewritten it and I figured I owed you all a chapter. Let me know what you think. Honest opinions are always welcome –good or bad.**

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><p>Rachel looked down at the blonde sprawled across her bed, she'd never seen Quinn look peaceful and it warmed her heart. "Quinn, sweetie, you need to wake up."<p>

Rachel gently shook the woman's shoulder only to receive a grunt as Quinn rolled over. Rachel smiled and shook her head, pulling the woman into a sitting position before gently placing her arms into the coat she'd brought up with her. Years of being friends with the gregarious blonde had taught her that Quinn was anything but a morning person. She'd watched Quinn move on autopilot through all of her morning rituals barely living much less awake enough times to know that she could move while still being mostly asleep. It was with this knowledge that she hoped she'd be able to get Quinn bundled up and out to her car and back to sleep within minutes.

She gently prodded Quinn until the woman helped slide her feet into her winter boots which Rachel quickly laced up. "That's it, sweetie." Rachel pulled Quinn off the bed and kissed the tip of her nose as she pushed a hat onto her head before she began to lead her down the stairs, holding much of Quinn's weight against her. Rachel tucked her into the seat of her already running car, wrapping her in a blanket, a pillow placed between her head and the window. Before Rachel had even lowered herself into the driver's seat Quinn's soft snores filled the car, filling the silence as Rachel backed down the driveway into the cold, dark morning.

The quiet seemed to surround them and it brought back the nervousness she felt about what she had planned for today. Rachel nibbled on her lower lip as she eyes left the road for a moment to look at the woman sleeping next to her. Once glance was all it took for her to forget her worries. She'd never saw something more adorable. Quinn had curled herself into a ball on the seat, the only thing holding her upright was the seat belt secured around her shoulder and waist. Soft, blonde wisp of hair stuck in every direction from under the hat that was now sitting crooked on top of her head, her nose buried in the pillow that Rachel knew smelled like her own shampoo. She let the car run as she sat and watched the woman sleep for a few minutes after they arrived at their destination.

Rachel quietly unbuckled her seat belt and lent over, softly running her fingers over Quinn's cheek. "Quinn, love, you need to wake up."

She snorted quietly when the blonde left the pillow and leaned heavily on Rachel, hugging the brunette's arm to her chest. Rachel shook her head and softly kissed the woman in her arms. She continued to press soft kisses against even softer lips until she felt the lips beneath her own begin to respond. Rachel sighed softly as she felt strong fingers slide against her scalp, holding her in place. Long moments passed before the two women finally parted.

"Mmmm," Quinn smacked her lips together, "as much as I love being woke up like that, why in the world are you waking me up at," Quinn paused to look at the dash, "7:35 in the morning?" Quinn let go of Rachel and sat up a bit further, looking around the car and the grey sky beyond it's windows. "And why are we in the car? Or better yet, how did we get in the car?"

"I thought this was the easiest way to get you to join me."

"By kidnapping me from my nice warm bed?" Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"Technically, it was my bed, and you came along willingly."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Of course Rachel would… Her sigh morphed into a yawn. "Rae, would you just," she yawned again, "tell me what we are doing…" She looked around, unable to tell where they were with the small amount of light coming from the barely lightening sky beyond the window. "…wherever we are right now."

She watched Rachel bite her lip nervously and couldn't help but lean forward to capture those lips with her own. She was too cute for words. She pulled back with a small smile to let Rachel know she wasn't mad, just curious.

"I have this tradition. I just… I've never had anyone I wanted to share it with before." Quinn waited silently. She knew from years of experience that it didn't matter if the sun wasn't even up yet, Rachel would be as chatty as always. "There is this hymn that we would sing at my Grandmother's church when we'd visit her and Grandpa. The lyrics, of course, are supposed to be about being closer to God, but I always felt they were meant for more than that. I was sixteen the first time I drove out here, because… well…" Rachel hesitated. "The first verse to the song goes: _I watch the sunrise lighting the sky, casting its shadows near. And on this morning bright though it be, I feel those shadows near me._"

Quinn listened, surprised the soft words weren't sung, but spoken, but even more surprised by the tears that filled Rachel's eyes as she looked down into her lap.

"I guess I was feeling really lonely that day. I still didn't have any real friends. I don't remember if Finn and were even together at that point -not that it would have mattered; it seemed he only wanted me when it was convenient for him. Jesse had broke my heart the spring before. My mother had just told me she didn't want me. She wanted her second chance, but not with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you gave it to her, but it still hurt. I understood, I still understand, but it broke me. More than anyone knew or cared to know." Quinn watched Rachel look out the windshield at the sky beyond the car, still sparkling with the few stars that refused to hide from the approaching sun. "I spent that summer and fall trying to make my life better. I poured myself into my relationship with Finn, and into Glee, tried to reach out and forge some sort of connection with someone, anyone. No matter what I did, how much I tried, or how much I smiled and pretended, everything seemed to be falling apart inside me."

Rachel looked over at Quinn and saw her listening intently, more alert than she'd been moments before, and gave a self conscious shrug. "I know everyone thought I was strong and that none of it really bothered me, none of the words, the criticism. I pretended to be strong, to be happy. I would put on a bright smile and it would get me through most days. I guess that's why I always tried to reach out to you, because I saw the mask you wore as well."

"I did. I didn't think anyone ever saw it. No, that's not true. I knew you saw through it. It's part of the reason I gave you so much grief. I didn't want anyone to see the real me. You always did though, didn't you?" Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand. "What does this have to do with being out here though?"

"I'm getting to that." Rachel took a fortifying breath. "I got up that morning to do my usual routine, but I didn't. I felt broken and couldn't find the motivation. I just couldn't figure out why it was worth it to keep trying. I knew that day would be the same as it had been every year before. I'd wake up alone. I'd spend the morning alone. I'd have brunch with my father's. And then I'd spend the rest of the day alone. It didn't matter if I had school or not, because no one ever paid attention to me unless I forced them to. Even dating Finn, I always felt alone.

_I watch the sunrise lighting the sky, casting its shadows near. _That morning I felt those shadows near me. I drove out here, seriously contemplating forgetting my dreams and just…" Rachel looked up at Quinn, unable to say the words, to show how weak she really was. Yet looking at Quinn, feeling the love radiating from her compassionate stare, she didn't feel weak. She felt strong, and loved, and wanted. Something she would have given anything to feel almost a decade before.

"Oh, Rachel." Quinn let a tear roll down her cheek. She couldn't imagine her world without Rachel in it and didn't want to. They'd both carried their pain silently, never letting anyone see just how bad they hurt. Things could have ended up so differently.

"I ended up sitting on this overlook, not even sure of how I got here, right as the sun began to rise; and of all the songs I'd ever learned, of all the lyrics I knew, those words came in my head." They could still see the almost full moon against the steadily brightening sky as Rachel's soft voice filled the air around them.

"_I watch the sunrise lighting the sky,_

_Casting its shadows near._

_And on this morning bright though it be,_

_I feel those shadows near me._

_I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds,_

_Warming the earth below._

_And at the mid-day, life seems to say:_

_I feel your brightness near me._

_For you are always . . ._

_I watch the sunset fading away,_

_Lighting the clouds with sleep._

_And as the evening closes its eyes,_

_I feel your presence near me._

_For you are always . . ._

_I watch the moonlight guarding the night,_

_Waiting till morning comes._

_The air is silent, earth is at rest_

_Only your peace is near me._

_Yes, you are always..._

Every year since, I'd take a drive out here before dawn, and just greet the day. You know, it's fitting that you are the only one I want to share this with. The song always kind of reminded me of you, I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was your religion, or just you. You were kind of a shadow, something I couldn't quite see yet was always drawn to. I don't know." The silence surrounded them as they both sat quietly. A few minutes passed before Rachel turned back towards Quinn and gave her a small smile. "I just… thought… you'd want to share this birthday tradition with me."

Quinn gave Rachel a small smile and nodded. "So you just come and sit out here?"

"I usually get out, go stand at the edge of the hill, and watch the sunrise."

"So why are we still in here?" Quinn asked and smiled softly as Rachel shrugged.

"Thought it might be too early and too cold for you."

Quinn tilted her head towards her door. "Come on." She waiting until Rachel shut off the car and grabbed the blanket as she climbed out of the car. She threw the blanket over the hood of the car and climbed on.

"Quinn!" Rachel shrieked. "What are you doing to my car?!"

"I'm getting comfortable. Now get up here."

"Quinn, I insist you remove herself from the hood of my car this instant."

Quinn raised her eyebrow and glared at Rachel, surprised and a little happy to see the woman shrink a bit under her stare. "Rachel, get up here." She demanded holding her hand out to help her up. She smiled when Rachel huffed and placed her foot on the wheel, allowing Quinn to help pull her up safely.

"Just so you know, I do this under duress and if there is any damage, you are going to be held responsible."

"Duly noted."

Quinn sighed as Rachel settled into the spot between her legs and leaned back against her. Quinn pulled the blanket over her shoulders and around Rachel's front, the heat from the engine and their shared body heat warmed them as the sky changed from stars to sunlight. The two women watched as a small ray of light spilled over the edge of the earth, painting the sky a beautiful ombre of orange, pink, and red. They held each other, sitting in silence as the sun rose higher, emerging from beneath the horizon and the shadows began their eternal dance, hiding behind the trees, shifting and lengthening with each passing moment. Quinn watched their breath freeze in the cold air before them, reflecting the pinks of the sky. All around them the earth was frozen and it truly seemed as though they were the only two who existed in the frozen paradise, mysterious and beautiful, they found themselves in that morning.

"Thank you for sharing your tradition with me." Quinn whispered into her ear as they watched the sun rise. "Happy Birthday, Rachel." 

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><p>"I must warn you," Rachel paused at the door to the diner a few hours later, They'd spent more time than they should have in the cold watching the sun come up. By the time that it was mid-sky, they were both half frozen and only had time for a quick shower before they were supposed to meet Rachel's fathers for brunch. "I have another birthday tradition, one that might surprise you, and I must beg for you not to think any less of me for it."<p>

Rachel watched Quinn frown slightly before a smile stole across her face. "Rae, you should know by now, nothing could make me think any less of you."

Rachel rolled her eyes. She knew there were probably a few things that would, but she was willing to let Quinn live with that belief. If a person like Quinn Fabray could think she was infallible, who was she to argue. "Yes, well, in any case, I still feel that before we enter I must inform you of this unfortunate… ritual… that I partake in every year."

Quinn looked through the door to the diner, just wanting to get inside where it was warm, with the promise of coffee. Lots of hot, tasty, coffee. She looked back at Rachel and grabbed her hand. "Rachel, for the love of everything Barbra, just tell me."

"Right. I eat…" Rachel's voice dropped to a whisper, "animal products."

Quinn snorted and chuckled. "Seriously?"

"What? That's a big thing!"

"It's huge!" Quinn laughed loudly.

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. "You don't have to patronize me."

Quinn let her laughter fade to a warm smile and leaned forward and kissed the tip of Rachel's nose. "I love you. You are so adorable."

"I… uh… I love you too." Rachel said, obviously flustered as she stepped back.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow as she watched Rachel look around before opening the door and walking in. "Okay? What was that about?"

"It's nothing. Just, we have to be careful. You never know where Jacob will be hiding."

"What about JewFro?" Quinn waved at Hiram from across the diner and signaled him to give them a moment.

"You know how he is. We really haven't talked about this." She quietly motioned between the two of them. "About how out we want to be."

Quinn turned fully towards Rachel and looked at her, incredulously. "Are we really talking about this now?"

"Well, no, not now, but we do need to talk about it. And soon."

"I just thought…"

"We have to think about what it would mean for our careers. I went on record after Steel saying it was just for the show and that we are nothing more than good friends. There are still a lot of things to discuss."

"Are you saying that you want to keep us hidden?" Quinn choked back her anger and disgust at the mere thought. She knew it was only a few days ago she was worrying about her contacting her own agent over the subject, but that was more of a courtesy call than anything.

"I… no?"

"You don't sound so sure of that." Quinn said as neutrally as possible.

"It's just… well this is rather new. In more ways than one. I've never done this," she pointed between the two of them, "with another woman before. I've always been type cast as a heterosexual woman. That might change. I need to talk to Tina and Guy, my PR agent."

Quinn ground her back teeth and swallowed roughly around the lump in her throat. She took a few cleansing breaths and willed her anger away. Today, right now, was not the time to be thinking about this, much less talking about it. Rachel had a lot more at stake with coming out than she did, but the thought of not professing their love to the world made her feel dirty. She shook the thought off and nodded.

"Fuckin' Hollywood." She muttered under her breath as she pasted on a smile. She knew for a fact that Rachel could see through it but she was determined to try. "Your dads are waiting." She said, waving Rachel in front of her.

Rachel eyed her warily before heading to meet her fathers. It was going to be a long day.

"My baby girl! All grown up!" Hiram launched himself from the table, pulling Rachel into his arms as LeRoy shook his head and stood; he kissed Quinn's forehead and wished her a good morning as his spouse gushed over their daughter.

"Hiram, let the girl go." He smiled as Hiram finally let go and switched spots with the man. "Happy Birthday, sweetie. Have you had a good morning?"

"Quinn, dear." Hiram pulled the woman into his arms before finally letting everyone sit down. "What are your plans for today?"

"Today is our first official date." Three sets of eyes landed on Rachel.

"No. No way. Today is your birthday."

"Yes, and if I recall, someone said, and I quote: What the birthday girl wants, the birthday girl gets."

"Ouch." LeRoy laughed. "You should know better than to make a blanket statement like that, Quinn."

Quinn shook her head. "You'd think. Really though Rae, we can still do whatever you want, but today?"

"Yes, today. It started when the sun came up. We're doing brunch with dad and daddy. Then there is ice skating, hot cocoa and apple pie as a late snack, then a nice dinner out."

Quinn looked over at Rachel's dads who just shrugged in response. She was completely on her own on this one. She sighed and shook her head as Rachel looked over at her completely pleased with herself and her plans.

"I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"I wouldn't count on it." Hiram shook his head as Rachel continued to smile at Quinn, propping her head up on her hand as she did so.

"Fine. Not like I can say no to you."

"Well, you can, but it wouldn't end well." Rachel laughed and finally looked away. She wanted nothing more to lean over and kiss Quinn for accepting –even if she hadn't given her much choice. "Plus, you told me I got to tell you when and where, so I am."

"I need to stop telling you things like that."

"No, please continue. It seems to work out in my favor."

The foursome enjoyed their breakfast together, Quinn more so than the rest as she teased Rachel when she ordered two scrambled eggs and toast with real butter. It was apparent that the two of them had been away from cold weather for too long when they both ended up shivering and hanging on to each other for warmth after an hour on the ice. They ended up walking around the mall, talking and buying last minute gifts, trading hot chocolate and apple pie for hot coffee and a shared scone. They'd been stopped more than once for pictures and autographs, but for the most part they'd been able to just enjoy each other's company.

"Really, Quinn?"

"Yes, really."

"You do remember how many times I've ran into you in a public bathroom?"

"I… just…" Quinn growled. "I need to go home, okay?"

"I just don't see why whatever you have to do can't wait until after our dinner date. We're going to be late for our reservation."

"I can't believe you found someone in Lima that even takes reservations." Quinn rolled her eyes at their back water town. "If you must know, I forgot your birthday present at home."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"Because I didn't want you to know?"

"Really, Quinn, you would have saved yourself an argument if you had just led with that."

"I didn't expect you to make a federal case over me using a public restroom."

"If you were going to come up with an excuse to return to dads' you were going to have to come up with something better than that. With all the conniving you did back in highschool I would have thought you would have come up with something more convincing than that."

"Sue me, I'm not at good at improv as you are."

"I beg to differ but I will let it go for now." Rachel waved Quinn off as she pulled up to the driveway, surprised her Dad's car wasn't in his normal spot. "Will you be long?"

"I'll be right back. Just give me five minutes?"

Rachel huffed. "Please, just hurry. You know I pride myself on being punctual."

Rachel watched as Quinn smiled and jumped out of the car, hurrying toward the house. The first night they'd arrived her dads had given Quinn a key and the codes to the security alarm. She was glad that they made Quinn feel so welcomed. Rachel sighed, she really needed to contact Tina. She knew the younger woman was supposed to be coming into town in the next few days, she might have to get her friend and agent to have lunch with her, before Christmas if possible.

She was glad that Quinn hadn't let their conversation at the diner put a damper on their day but she knew Quinn hadn't been happy. It wasn't that she wanted to hide Quinn, or their relationship, it was… well she had some over zealous fans. Rachel hadn't told Quinn but she'd had more than one potential stalker –other than Jacob Ben Israel. The ones that weren't as scary as the handful she'd dealt with where still very loud, and very opinionated, and they held her career in their hands. If they turned on her it would be hard to keep getting the choice rolls that she enjoyed. Rachel knew that putting her love life out for public consumption would mean facing the possible outcry from her fans. There had already been some heated debate after Steel. She had wisely not sent her agent the script until after the episode had been filmed. Tina and Guy weren't exactly pleased that she'd taken the role without their consent.

Rachel looked over at the clock on the dashboard and back at the dark house. She could see her bedroom light on but there didn't look to be any movement on the other side of the curtain. Rachel groaned. There was no way they were going to make their reservation now. How long did it take to grab a package? Rachel grabbed her phone and called Quinn, glaring at the object when it went straight to voicemail.

"Seriously?" Rachel growled as she shut off the car and stormed up the drive. "Quinn?"

"Back here." Rachel cocked her head to the side as she heard Quinn call to her from the kitchen.

Rachel jumped as the lights flew on as she stepped into the living room and yells of "SURPRISE!" Surrounded her. She looked around the room in shock. Her fathers and mother stood in the center of the room holding a banner. She picked out half a dozen or more of their Glee alumni, along with friends from New York, Broadway, and LA.

"I... what? What is this?"

"It's your surprise party, silly!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Quinn shook her head at her daughter. Rachel laughed through her tears as she hugged her sister to her side.

"Shelby?"

"What? You think I'd miss this? It's not every day that your first child turns 25!" Shelby hugged Rachel tightly before stepping back for Rachel's fathers.

Rachel smile widened as her dads wrapped her in a hug.

"Don't worry, we cancelled your reservations." LeRoy whispered into her ear before releasing her.

Rachel turned around and smiled at the crowd. "I can't believe you're all here!"

"Best believe it Smokin' Hot." Rachel laughed as April wrapped her in a hug.

Quinn watched as the birthday girl was passed from person to person, getting a birthday wish or hug from each person. Rachel was radiant with her joy and surprise.

"You did well. Love looks good on both of you."

Quinn looked over her shoulder at her child's mother. It was odd to think that she was also the mother to the woman she was in love with. "You really think so?"

"Whatever you two have together –it's good for her. I've never seen her so happy. Not even when she's on stage."

"She's right." Hiram agreed as he threw his arm over Quinn's shoulder. "You went through a lot of trouble to get everyone here and it looks like it's paid off well."

Rachel looked over her shoulder and beamed. "You did this?"

Quinn smiled and shrugged.

"Hell yes, she did this. She had me jumping through hoops all around New York like I'm someone's damn show dog. So you best show some appreciation, because I don't play bitch for just anyone."

"Santana. Thank you." Rachel stepped forward to hug the feisty Latina.

"Uh no. I don't do tears. Or presents." Santana shoved a box into Rachel's hands. "This is from Britt. She said she was sorry she couldn't be here and that she sends her love, to tell you she hopes you're less lemony the next time she sees you, and to feed the ducks."

Rachel chuckled at the message that she was sure Brittany had Santana say word for word, though she had a feeling the "feed the ducks" part was supposed to be a job for Santana.

"Lemony?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "I don't have time to explain it to you. I need a drink."

Rachel turned towards Quinn who just shrugged. "It's S and B, there's no telling."

"I can't believe you did all this for me." Rachel stepped closer and draped her arms over Quinn's shoulders.

Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes and felt everyone else fade away. She slowly stepped closer until there was no space remaining between them. "Don't you know, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you?"

"I'm starting to get it." Rachel leaned her head closer.

"I'll just have to keep reminding you." Quinn brushed her lips against Rachel's gently. She let her lips quirk up at the feeling of Rachel's sigh against them and brought her lips back, letting the kiss grow longer and deeper.

"I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" The two women laughed as they were broken apart by a vivacious red head jumping around them with her arms crushing them both together. "I knew it! I knew it! You two are so cute!"

"You're nuts." Quinn laughed as she pushed her friend away. Her laugh faded as she looked passed April to see her fellow Glee Club-ers standing with their mouth agape. She chortled and elbowed Rachel. She took the woman's smaller hand into her own and watched the group stutter and gape.

Rachel leaned her head towards Quinn while keeping her eye on their friends. "I think we broke them."

"I think you're right." Quinn whispered back.

"Oh come! on! Seriously, are you all freakin' blind?" Everyone turned towards the doorway where Santana stood with a drink in her hand. "Those two have been makin' goo goo eyes at each other since senior year!"

"I… wow. No, I never saw it." Sam stuttered.

"So, so hot." Puck drooled.

"Finally!" Kurt muttered.

"So when did you two finally break down and do the nasty?" Santana asked as she leaned against the table, chuckling at the blush that crossed both women's faces.

"Santana! Not in front of my parents please."

"Or my daughter."

"Oh please, you two were so lost in each other you didn't even notice that mommy dearest and lil Q were dragged off by the dads ten minutes ago. So? Spill?"

"Inquiring minds want to know." April agreed, draping herself over Rachel's shoulder.

"Off." Quinn growled.

"Answer."

"No. It's none of your business."

"Of course it is. If it wasn't for yours truly you'd still be dancing around each other like a pair of horny parrots."

"Does Brittany have a parrot loving sister?" Mercedes asked Tina who just shrugged.

"April, as much as I appreciate your meddling, Quinn and I most definitely did not need your assistance nor did we ever act like concupiscent song birds." Rachel gently pushed April off of her. "If you must know..."

"We must." Santana and April said simultaneously.

"We've been committed to each other for two weeks and have decided to take things slowly."

"That didn't look slow." Kurt huffed. "I think I'm going to need to bleach my brain to get that image to disappear."

"What they're saying is they've been here for almost two weeks and don't want to soil daddy dearest image of their wholesome relationship." Santana snorted into her drink.

"Well I for one think it's amazing." Artie spoke up. "You two deserve to be happy."

"Seconded." Tina smiled.

"Well then, to the happy couple." Sam raised his glass and the Glee members and friends standing near enough to hear joined him. "To Quinn and Rachel."

* * *

><p><strong>Quick apologies for taking so long to get this out and for the shorter chapter! Between holidays, rewrites, family issues, bad weather and being extremely ill, there hasn't been enough hours in the day. I'll be back home by the weekend so hopefully I'll be able to get back on schedule. Hope you all had a happy and safe holiday season.<strong>


	18. Emotions & Uncertainty

**School, life, kids, sick, frazzled. That's all I have. Oh and an apology for not updating sooner. This is a bit of a filler chapter but it has a TON of dialogue. Maybe too much. You be the judge.**

* * *

><p>"Is it bad that all I really want to do is go home?" Rachel sighed as she leaned heavily into Quinn's side. It'd been a really, really long few weeks and she was just exhausted.<p>

"We're going back to New York at the end of the week. We just have to get through today and tomorrow." Quinn hugged her brunette to her side.

Rachel sighed in contentment and nuzzled into Quinn's neck as they leaned against her fathers' kitchen island. "I meant L.A."

"You really think of that as home?"

Rachel heard the catch in Quinn's voice and knew that it was probably hard for her to hope such a thing was true. She rested her head on the slightly taller woman's collar bone to really think about the answer. Even without Quinn, she felt more alive and at home on the West Coast than she had in New York for a long time before her impromptu move.

"I do." She answered honestly. Rachel sighed softly as she felt Quinn's hands running gently up and down her back and could feel the slight tension in the body surrounding hers. She knew Quinn had questions, hell, she had a ton of them herself, but everything had been so crazy, so busy lately, neither of them had time to really think them out.

"Rae, I know that this, us, it's been a little crazy and things have been more than a little hectic since before Thanksgiving, but there is so much we haven't talked about that we probably should." She waited until she heard Rachel hum her agreement, apparently more than willing to let Quinn take the lead for this conversation. "I just… I guess I need to know…" Rachel tipped her head back and looked up at Quinn, lifting her eyebrow in question. "Why didn't you tell me about The Son? You were crushed when they shut it down. And the way you talked when we were with my mother was like… like you were never going back to Broadway."

Rachel closed her eyes and enjoyed Quinn's embrace for a moment longer before finally pushing herself back. She had hoped Quinn's panic attack had made her forget about her slip up during lunch with Judy, but apparently she hadn't forgot.

Quinn tried not to get irritated at the way Rachel pulled away from her, hoping and praying that it wasn't because she'd changed her mind.

"Rachel? I love that you think of our place as home, but Rachel, what about Broadway? New York?"

Rachel avoided Quinn's eyes as she turned towards the refrigerator and began pulling things out for breakfast. It was the same conversation she'd had with herself over the last six months. What about Broadway? What about her life in New York? Her friends, her apartment, her connections? She knew she was in love with Quinn, there was no denying that, but there was a lot she didn't know.

Quinn watched Rachel start to make breakfast and could see the woman deep in thought, and fought against her instinct to demand answers. She knew Rachel said she had some feelings for her since back in high school, but Quinn never expected to fall for Rachel. Heck, even being friends with her had thrown her for a loop for a long time. They had a long, complicated relationship, one that she had never even thought to imagine turning into something stronger and even more complicated. She knew the moment she started feeling more for Rachel that she ran the risk of getting her heart broke. No. It was more than that. Loving Rachel was something she wasn't sure if she could ever recover from if things didn't go well. For some reason, the small, brunette, dynamo had always had such a strong hold on her, and now that the woman held her heart in her hands, she had the ability to completely crush it. And that kind of vulnerability was something she'd never trusted anyone with before. And it scared the hell out of her. But she'd be vulnerable, she'd open her chest and let Rachel rip her heart from it, if that's what Rachel needed, because the thought of losing Rachel hurt too much. Even if it meant breaking her own hear in the process though, she refused to let Rachel give up on her dream, on something she'd worked her whole life for.

"These last few months seem like some sort of romantic comedy –one where the two protagonist live through a contrived plot, in an underdeveloped story line that puts them in almost constant contact with each other. Cue improbable reasoning for moving in together, be employed alongside each other, go on a road-trip together and the like. Our "differing personalities" must end up in constant rotation of each other so that we can impossibly fall in love with one another."

Quinn leaned her hip against the counter as she listened to Rachel's diatribe, trying to figure out where this was coming from or where she was going with this. "So you're saying we're some cliché rom-com couple? What does that have to do with New York? With you returning to Broadway?"

Rachel sighed heavily and turned towards the stove, heating the pan as she still avoided Quinn's eyes. She wasn't even sure what she meant. "I don't know. If you think about it, it fits."

"We're a silly couple straight from a romantic comedy. What's wrong with that? They get their happy endings most of the time. It fits us, fine, ok I can buy that. It doesn't fit why you're not answering my question though." Quinn couldn't help the edge from creeping into her voice.

Rachel dropped the spatula onto the stove top and turned with a huff. "Because I don't have any answers! God don't you understand that Quinn? How am I supposed to return to New York when it doesn't feel like home any more? We spent a week there and it felt like I was… I was lost because my home is with you! But you aren't real! This isn't real!

"What the hell do you mean this isn't real?" Quinn stepped back, letting the ice she felt enveloping her heart painfully seep into her voice.

"I just feel like I'm living some sort of fairy tale. This…" She pointed animatedly between the two of them, "this doesn't happen in real life. We don't work in real life."

"This is real life! And up until five minutes ago, I thought we were working out fine!" Quinn growled back.

"This isn't real life though. Real life is agents and press and being followed by photographers! Real life is fans who can make or break our careers! Real life is you're West Coast and I'm East Coast! That is real life. In real life I don't get to wake up in the arms of Quinn Fabray. I don't get to say I'm in love with Quinn Freakin' Fabray!"

"Well guess what, Berry, this is real life! So stop being such an antagonist and just deal with the fact that you may be in love with Quinn Fabray, but she's also in love with you! And I'll be damned if I let you push me away because we have some issues to work out!"

Neither woman knew when they had even began yelling, or even how it happened, but both of them were staring each other down, chest heaving, fire in their eyes. It reminded them both of their time in high school and the arguments they used to find themselves in. They always seemed to bring out the fire in one another.

Quinn couldn't stop the corners of her lips from curling up at the thought and before she knew it she had began to chuckle. Rachel smiled and shook her head and began to laugh as well.

"Damn you." She growled as she pulled Quinn the few inches separating them.

Quinn leaned her forehead against Rachel's and chuckled. "It was easier to take my anger at life out on you when I wasn't so madly in love with you."

"What are we going to do?" Rachel couldn't stop the tears from filling up her eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

"So don't." Quinn kissed Rachel's forehead and pulled her closer, loving how she fit perfectly into the crook of her neck. "We were always good at fighting each other. We just have to learn how to fight for each other instead. We'll start by shutting off the stove…" Quinn reached over Rachel's shoulder to move the pan and turn off the flame, thankful the oil hadn't burst into flames as they let go of the tension they'd both apparently been carrying around. "Then when we have more than five minutes alone to talk, we'll figure it out. It's not like we don't have the means to travel. It will suck, don't get me wrong, but we'll find a way to make this work."

"And it's not like I'm going back to New York anytime soon."

"Yes, you are. We're supposed to be back before New Year's. Or face Santana's wrath."

Rachel gave a watery chuckle. "I mean…"

"I know what you meant. And you're right. You have the Streisand movie auditions the second week of January. When you get that part, you'll be contractually obligated to stay on the West Coast."

"_If_ I get the part, it might not even be filmed in Hollywood."

"True, but that's just part of the careers we've chosen. There will be filming breaks, and we only have a few more months of filming for the season, so I could always come out and bother you on set."

"I would love that."

"So would I. See? We can do this. You just have to get out of that pretty little head of yours."

"I'm sorry, Quinn." Rachel kissed the woman's cheek and ran her thumb across it gently. "I guess it's my own insecurities. It's not fair to you but, well, being back here, and talking about New York, and the idea of not being together brings back some not so pleasant memories."

"I understand that, Rae, I just need you to talk to me about them."

Rachel nodded and went back to making their breakfast, knowing her dads would be down any time. "Who would have thought that you'd be the one, out of the two of us, that would be more willing to talk about these things?" Rachel laughed humorlessly. "I guess I'm still scared that you'll expect something of me, some version of me, that I can't be."

"What do you mean?"

Rachel sighed again and moved the pan back again. She took Quinn's hand and led her to the table, deciding it would be easier than trying to split her focus.

"Right now, I really don't know about Broadway. I'm not going to lie and say I'll never go back to New York, to Broadway, but I don't see my self returning any time in the immediate future. I'm exhausted, Quinn. It's a grueling schedule, where I have hardly any down time. And I know first hand just what that can do to a relationship. Finn Hudson wasn't the only one who couldn't deal with my dreams, but being here, back in Lima, and talking about New York with someone I'm in a relationship with, it brings back the insecurities he left me with."

"But Rachel, I would never dream of asking you to choose between me and Broadway. I hate even thinking about you giving up on it, even after all you've achieved. Yes, I think you could probably be happy on the big screen, but you were _born_ for the stage. I hope you know, that no matter what you do, I will always encouraged you to chase your dreams, just like I always have. Heck, when we were barely amicable, I was the one pushing you to not give up on them."

"I know you would never make me choose. It's kind of funny looking back, because even when we pretended to hate each other, you, more than anyone, always believed in me." Rachel couldn't help but smile. "Even when you didn't agree with my choices, and let me know quiet vocally that you didn't, you still supported me." Rachel's smiled faded as she recalled just what that support had cost Quinn.

"Don't." Rachel looked up at the soft, but forcefully spoken word. "Don't give me that look, I know _exactly_ where your brain just went, and just like I told you back then, it wasn't your fault."

"I was waiting on you, I didn't want to get married without you there."

"You just knew I'd probably have objected at the last moment."

"You would have had to beat us to it." Both women jumped at the sound of Hiram's voice behind them.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to eves drop. We were just in need of a caffeinated beverage." LeRoy shrugged as he moved across the kitchen and kissed both his girls on their heads as he made his way towards the coffee pot.

"Would you really have objected?" Rachel was fine finishing this part of the conversation in front of her fathers and really wanted to know.

Quinn sipped at the coffee LeRoy sat in front of her as she thought it over. "I don't know. I… well remember when I finally agreed to come to the wedding?"

"You'd just gotten your Cheerios uniform back. You looked amazing."

Quinn lifted her eyebrow at that and smiled, deciding to file that away for future reference. "I remember you singing that song at regionals and realizing that he seemed to make you so happy. As much as I thought you were throwing away your life, I…. I just wanted you happy."

"You know, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the two of you got together." Hiram interjected. When both women looked at him he lifted a shoulder.  
>"Let me explain," they watched him set his mug down so he could use his hands to speak, as he often did, "First off, there was the whole grade-school, Karofsky-esque repressed bullying on Quinn's part. Tease and torture the person you like, andor the person who is most comfortable with themselves." He quickly waved away the look of guilt that filled Quinn's eyes. "Over and done with, young lady."

"And yes, you later became best friends, and then, well, more. When Rachel was entertaining the completely ludicrous idea of marrying some boy while still in high school, the two of you were just barely beginning your friendship." He waited for everyone in the room to agree with his statements so far, ignoring his daughter's glare at the notion that her getting married so young was foolish. "So from what I understand, Quinn objected, then recanted because she just wanted Rachel happy. Unrequited love anyone? And Rachel, my dear, sweet Rachel, who was so in love with this young man that she refused to wait a moment to jump into a marriage with him, couldn't even allow herself to get married because her true love was not present." He looked at the three others and waited for a response, only getting dumbfounded looks in return. "Come on, anyone? Anyone?" He sighed when his husband just placed his hand on his arm, a silent signal for him to let it go.

"I think what my overly verbose spouse is trying to say is trying to get to is that while no one would wish what happened to you, Quinn, on anyone, we can appreciate that your accident may have been a blessing in disguise. It kept Rachel from getting married, possibly showing her just what you meant to her, and how she had been blinded by love to all the faults of Finn Hudson, may he rest in peace. It also brought you two closer together, what with Rachel blaming herself for the whole incident."

"Which wasn't her fault." Quinn quickly interrupted.

"Right, right. But do you see what I'm saying? It's not a huge stretch of the imagination is it?" LeRoy jumped back in.

Rachel shrugged, knowing her fathers' words had more than a kernel of truth to them. "A lot of that is stuff Quinn and I had already discussed."

"She told me she had a crush on me back then." Quinn admitted with a smile.

"And you?" Hiram prodded with a mischievous grin.

It was Quinn's turn to shrug. "Looking back, I guess I can see it. I was so, so completely blind to my sexuality back then though-" Quinn let the sentence trail off and gave a shrug.

"Religious upbringing and denial. I know how that feels. When I finally realized I was gay, it hit me like a ton of bricks. But when I thought back to my childhood I could recognize dozens of crushes I had on other boys, but was completely blind to."

"Looking back, it makes a lot of different things make a lot more sense then they did at the time." Quinn agreed.

"If you ever feel the need to talk about it, you know we're both here." Hiram opened his arms, happy when Quinn actually left her seat to give him the hug he had been hoping for.

"So, ladies, what are your plans for today?" Hiram asked, tucking his newly "adopted" daughter into his side.

"I am taking Rachel out to Breadsticks for a late lunch this afternoon."

Quinn nodded when squeaked out a "Really?"

"And then we're meeting up with some of our friends to go caroling before heading to my mom's house." Rachel beamed across the kitchen as Quinn filled her fathers in on the details. She didn't know about any of Quinn's plans for the day, not that she really had any of her own. Fran and the kids were coming in later that evening and Judy had invited them both over for dinner before they all headed out together for midnight Mass. She smiled as she realized this trip was turning into a series of first for both of them, in more than one way. They'd had their first kiss and their first date, but they'd also shared their first trip together, their first couple outing. They had celebrated their first holiday together as a couple, as well as Rachel's birthday. They'd met each other's families. Then of course, Quinn had gotten to experience her first Hanukkah and tonight Rachel was going to be experiencing her first Catholic church service. It had really had been a whirlwind few weeks. Rachel smiled. If this was what being with Quinn was like, she couldn't wait to see what the next few years had in store for them. 

* * *

><p>By the time the two women made it to Quinn's childhood home later that night, they were both exhausted. They'd walked across half the town because Kurt and Mercedes couldn't agree on where to go caroling. They ended up going to a few of their old teachers' houses and a few classmates that they knew were still in the area. Somehow along the way Sugar spotted their group and decided to join. To their dismay, and their poor ears, they found her voice had not only not improved since high school, her voice had actually gotten worse. Some young high school punks decided it would be fun to pelt them with snowballs, which turned into a huge snowball war. It ended up being fun, with the Glee alumni kicking McKinley High butts, but they were all ready to call it a night by the time it was done. It was only their excitement at seeing Fran and the kids again that kept them going. Well, that and the massive amount of caffeine Rachel had supplied them with throughout the night.<p>

The two women shook off their exhaustion as they were both pounced on by two beautiful blonde children the moment they walked in the door, surprised how much the two kid made the house even more welcoming. Quinn had been a frequent visitor over the last month, but she still found the change to the house, and to her mother a little off-putting. None of that seemed to matter though as her mini-me jumped on her legs and began regaling her with tales about her trip so far.

"Miz Wachel, Miz Wachel, you havta sing for Nana!" Rachel giggled as Pete grabbed her hand and tried to drag her into the kitchen where his grandma was putting the finishing touches on supper.

"Slow down, little man! Where's my hug?" Quinn snatched the boy up and spun him around as he giggled and squirmed in her arms.

"And Miss Lucille. How are you this evening?" Rachel asked as she knelt before the little girl that was so much like her little sister it was almost uncanny. The only difference she could see between Beth and Lucy was their eyes –Beth had her father's brown eyes, where Little Lucy had her mom's bright blue beamers.

"You're silly." The blue-eyed beauty laughed before throwing herself into Rachel's arms. "Mommy let me watch you in a movie."

"Technically, it wasn't a movie. It was a play that was filmed." Fran filled in, pushing herself off the door frame to greet the two women, now that her children had finally got done jumping on them.

"Which one?" Quinn asked as she hugged her sister.

"Wicked and Cinderella!" Lucy jumped up and down.

"I take it you liked them?"

Blonde curls bounced as she nodded enthusiastically. "I want to be an actress when I grow up, just like you and Aunt Quinn!"

The three women followed the bouncing blonde into the dining room and she raved on and on about Rachel's performance.

"Perfect timing!" Fran scooted the kids off to wash up for supper as Judy greeted her daughter and Rachel. "I hope you don't mind. We decided to eat a bit early."

Quinn leaned into the uncharacteristic hug from her mother. "No, that's fine. We would have come early to help if we'd known."

Judy waved her daughter off as she gave Rachel a hug as well. "It's fine. Fran and I had it under control."

"Well, everything smells absolutely delicious." Rachel said as she stepped back.

"Hopefully, it takes scrumptious as well. I decided to try my hand at a few vegetarian dishes once Quinn confirmed you'd both be here."

Quinn couldn't help the smile and warmth that filled her face and spread across her body. Her mother was really, truly trying and the fact that she was going out of her way to include Rachel held melt a bit more of the icy walls Quinn had constructed around her heart years before.

"Oh, Judy! Thank you. You really didn't have to do that."

"Nonsense. You're a guest here and we must take care of our guest." Quinn's heart fell a bit. Of course, her mother, the eternal hostess. It was all for appearance. Rachel saw the flash of pain in Quinn's eyes and wondered what caused it. She slipped her hand into Quinn's and got a small smile from her.

"Plus," Judy's voice brought both of their eyes back to her, "if Rachel is going to be around for a while, this will be just the first of many meals together."

It clicked for Rachel as she watched Quinn's watery smile as she nodded and looked down. They were saved by a very excited five year old who was still raving about musicals as they all were seated around the table. Fran was barely able to get her to quiet down long enough for her mother to bless their meal.

"So you want to be an actress?" Rachel asked as she enjoyed the nut roast Judy had made, surprised how amazing it really was.

"I already starred in my first play!"

"You did?" Quinn smiled at the beautiful little girl, unable to not join in her enthusiasm.

Fran chuckled. "I don't know if I would say starred. She _was_ Little Bo Peep in Babes in Toyland though."

All four women bit back their smiles as Lucy folded her arms over her chest and huffed. "I was the star of Mother Goose Land!"

"Sissy was purdy." Pete agreed from his seat.

Quinn ruffled the girl's hair. "I would have loved to see you in it. I'm sure you did amazing."

"I wanted you to come but mommy said you couldn't."

Quinn looked up at her sister, trying not to let her hurt show. Fran sighed and tried to figure out how to navigate this error. She may not know Quinn as well as she wanted, but she knew that look. It was the look that she tried to hide every time their parents would put her down for her weight, or her acne, or belittle her love of books. It was the look that said "Why am I not good enough?"

Fran held up her hand, "Now, hold on a second. I tried to call and let you know about it."

Quinn tried not to scoff, she wanted to believe her sister, but history was a hard thing to let go of. And their history was one of leaving each other behind and leaving each other out of one another's lives. The push and pull of emotions was something she wasn't prepared for, and Quinn couldn't help but wonder for a moment if a relationship with her family was going to be worth it. "I don't remember you mentioning it at all."

Fran sighed. "Quinn, please hear me out before you decide to be angry at me. I swear I wasn't tying to exclude you, for any reason. I called you the week after our visit because I hadn't thought to invite you or Rachel at the time. It wasn't until I was driving Luce to her dress rehearsal that I thought you both might like to attend, but when I called you were so excited about planning Rachel's surprise party that I didn't have the heart to tell you. I knew you would have tried to come, or felt horrible that you couldn't, because Rachel's birthday and the play fell on the same night."

Quinn looked down at her plate. She remembered the call. She'd even invited Fran to come to the party. She remembered how contrite her sister sounded when she told her that she couldn't because her and the kids had plans that evening.

"Oh."

"Quinn, I know, I know that I have a lot to make up for, but I hope you know that I would never purposely try to hurt you. Or leave you out."

"I… I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions."

"It's bound to happen." Judy smiled sadly at her daughter as she took her hand.

Fran threw her sister a smile to let her know it was okay. "If it makes you feel any better, I knew you'd want to see it. The school made a DVD and I bought you a copy."

"Mom, can we watch it with Aunt Quinn and Miss Berry after supper?"

"Do you want to go get it? It's in my bag next to the door." Before she was even done asking, Lucy was out of her seat and running towards the front of the house with her mom yelling at her to slow down.

After supper Fran and Judy insisted that they'd clean up if Rachel and Quinn could keep an eye on the kids as they watched the DVD of Lucy's school play. The two women cuddled up on the couch with Pete sitting on one side of them and Lucy on the other with just the lights off the Christmas tree filling the room.

Rachel smiled as she absentmindedly played with Pete's soft blonde hair, loving that he was comfortable enough with her that he just tucked himself between her curled legs and the edge of the couch, using her thigh as a pillow while hugging her calf. She honestly couldn't believe how quickly she'd fallen in love with the two kids surrounding them. She never really had a lot of experience with younger children, skirting babysitting jobs most girls filled during their adolescent in exchange for more time to attend dance and voice lessons. Pete was definitely the quieter of the two and she could see so much of Quinn in Lucy. She felt eyes on her as she tried to refocus on the screen and turned her head. Quinn's eyes seemed to dance in the lights reflecting from the tree.

"This is nice." Rachel whispered, not wanting to disturb the children quietly watching the play.

"It is."

"I'm sorry that you missed this the first time." Rachel tilted her head towards the screen.

Quinn thought about it. She knew she was being silly about it during supper, but it really did mean a lot to her that her sister brought a copy. It seemed things worked out like they were supposed to.

"I'm not." Quinn pressed her lips to the corner of Rachel's mouth and smiled as Rachel turned her head to join their lips. She sighed contently when Rachel leaned her head into the crook of her neck. She knew that she had a long way to go with her family, but this moment, here with the soft murmur of her sister and mother talking in the kitchen, with her niece and nephew settled quietly beside them, and the woman she'd fallen for tucked next to her, this moment was nothing short of perfection.

* * *

><p>"Aww, look at them." No one stirred at the soft-spoken words.<p>

"I'm grabbing my camera." Fran whispered to her mom as they took in the sight before them. Little Lucy was curled in a ball using her aunt as a pillow, her little brother in almost an identical position on the other side of Rachel. Rachel and Quinn where leaning against each other in the middle, Rachel's head nestled against shoulder with Quinn's cheek pressed against the crown of her head. All four were sound asleep. She couldn't remember a time when her sister looked so peaceful.

"Should we wake them?" Fran asked quietly after taking a few pictures.

"No, we have a few hours before we to go."

"How are you with this?" Fran nodded at the sleeping women.

Judy shook her head. "I struggled with it, I'm not going to lie. But look at her." Judy smiled as if that said it all. She nodded towards the kitchen and waited until her daughter had settled across from her with a cup of coffee.

Fran thanked her mom for the coffee before returning to the conversation. "I really thought you'd have more of an issue."

"She's been on _Steel_ for a while now, so I've had two years to prepare." Judy chuckled and shook her head. "Actually, I've had almost eighteen years to prepare. I've only started to actively work towards accepting it in the last two."

Fran thought that over before she realized it and nodded as she met her mother's eyes.

"Bailee Tines." They said in unison.

"She had the biggest crush on that girl." Judy laughed.

"God, she used to drive us nuts." Fran snickered. "It got to the point that Bailee didn't want to come over because Lucy would constantly stare at her. How did I not see that before?"

Their laughter faded as the reality set in. Judy looked into her coffee cup as if it held the answer.

"We see what we want to see." The two women sat quietly, each lost in her own thoughts. "Goodness knows, I didn't want to see it." Judy sighed and shook her head. "I didn't want to know that you were hurting, or that my Lucy might be gay, or that my husband carried on affairs through most of our marriage." Judy hesitated. "Or that I was a drunk."

"Mom."

"No. I know we've gotten closer since I've been sick, but until Quinn came home, I never realized how much of an apology I owed both of you." Judy watched her oldest daughter swallow hard and reached over to take her hand.

Fran stared at the hand that lay on top of her own on the table and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation. It was Christmas Eve, and she'd only had her mother back in her life for a few short years. And half of those she was fighting cancer. How do you tell your mom you couldn't stand her growing up? How do you say that to someone you love. But maybe, maybe it was time. Maybe she could finally try to rid herself of the pain she'd carried her whole life. Maybe she could finally get the answer to why?

"You know, I hated you for a long time." Judy started to speak but Fran asked her for a moment. "I… I think I, we, have needed to talk about this for a long time –so please, let me get this out."

* * *

><p>Quinn felt something tickling her nose and tried to swat it away before realizing she couldn't move. She wrinkled her nose and started to drift back to sleep before she felt it again, this time accompanied by a small giggle. Quinn slowly opened her eyes and smiled at the two blue eyes inches from her face.<p>

"Lucy Maria, what are you doing?" Quinn asked quietly.

"Watchin' you."

* * *

><p>Judy sighed, knowing that no words could ever take back all the wrong and the hurt she'd caused her daughters. "You're right, Fran. That is something no twelve year old should ever have to have gone through."<p>

"Do you have any idea what that was like for me? To have to help my mother to her bed because she was too drunk to get herself there? To have to make sure that there was a trash can next to your bed? To know that there were only certain hours of the day I could have friends over if I didn't want my mother to embarrass me by stumbling around and slurring her words? Or God forbid, be here when daddy got home, because he'd either be drunk or yelling, or worse, both."

* * *

><p>"What are you supposed to be doing?" Quinn shook her head and smiled when the little girl who was sitting on her legs shrugged her shoulders. "Where is your mommy?"<p>

"In the kitchen."

* * *

><p>"Do you know how many times Quinn would crawl into my bed at night, scared from a bad dream, but even more terrified because she couldn't get mommy or daddy to wake up?"<p>

"Does she know you're awake?"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders again. "I went to tell her but her and Nana were crying."

* * *

><p>"I couldn't go to you when… things… happened to me. I couldn't tell you, because you or daddy would have said it was my fault. I had to suck it up, and deal with it, by myself."<p>

"Oh, Francine."

"Don't. You don't get to do that now." Fran growled.

* * *

><p>Quinn tried to sit up a little straighter at the innocent words before realizing her girlfriend was asleep on her shoulder. Her eyes shot from the little girl in front of her towards the hall that led to the dining room and kitchen and back. Quinn knew her niece was watching her to see how she would react to the new her mother and sister was crying. If she reacted, so would Lucy. Quinn knew if either woman was crying, it was because of something big, but she couldn't let her little niece know that. She pasted on a bright smile and leaned in close.<p>

"Why don't you go find something to watch on Nana's fancy tv and I'll go tell them to wipe their noses and join us?" Quinn whispered as she tweaked the tiny nose almost touching her own.

* * *

><p>"I get why Quinn was so hurt about Lucy's play. I was her protector. I was the one she ran to when she had a bad day, or when she got hurt, or when she was scared, and then I was gone. <em>I<em> did that to her, Mom. I ran away. I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of you, or of Daddy." Fran watched the tears stream down her mother's face and hated it, but she was so tired of carrying all this around.

"I pushed you. Who does that? Who watches their child walk out the door and turn their back? Not once but twice. I pushed you away."

As soon as Lucy was across the room settle in front of a Disney movie Quinn wiggled from beneath her slumbering love and snuck into the kitchen. She stopped in doorway as she watched her sister cry into their mother's shoulder and it broke her. In the twelve years Quinn and Fran lived under the same roof, she could only recall one time where she saw her sister cry. Her sister was the strong one; she _was_ Quinn's protector. But who had protected Frannie? Who held her after her nightmares? Or made sure she was okay when she wasn't feeling well?

"I pushed you both away and I am so, so sorry." Judy pulled Fran into her arms, letting her daughter cry into her shoulder. She saw her youngest watching and gesture her over. As soon as Quinn was close enough she pulled the younger woman into the embrace as well. "I c-can't… I can't make it r-right. I can't s-say I'm sorry enough."

* * *

><p>Rachel woke to a loud, yet almost on key, rendition of "Stories" being sung by a very cute blonde named Lucy and a very famous Disney Princess, Belle. She recognized the songs from one of her favorite animated Disney Christmas musicals <em>Beauty and The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas.<em> "That was very nice, Lucille."

Lucy jumped and spun around. "Don't tell mommy!"

"Why ever not? You have an amazing voice. With a little coaching, you would be terrific."

"Mommy told me I shouldn't sing so loud when people are sleeping!"

Rachel snickered as she sat up. Apparently Lucy's little brother was used to it because the little boy slept right through.

"Where is your mommy? And everyone else?"

Lucy huffed and threw herself down on the floor with her arms crossed. "Stupid Aunt Quinn was supposed to get them. And we were going to watch a movie!"

"Lucy?" Rachel was confused by the hostility, but even more by the tears she spied in the little girls eyes. "Lucy?" She asked again, this time opening her arms. The little girl glared at her for a moment before running into her arms.

"Why do adults have to be so stupid?"

"I don't think that's a nice way to talk about people."

"Well, it's true." Little Lucy sounded eerily like a bigger Lucy as she crossed her arms again.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"Mommy and Daddy kept fighting all the time, even though I'm not allowed to fight with my little brother. Then she would cry, just like Pete does when we fight."

"Did your daddy hurt your mommy?"

Lucy lifted an eyebrow and looked at Rachel like she was one of those 'stupid adults'. "No."

"Okay. Let's try this another way. Why are you mad at Aunt Quinn?"

Lucy opened her mouth and then closed it, eyeing the woman in front of her as she shifted uneasily. She was Aunt Quinn's friend, but she was nice. And she could sing. And Lucy wanted to sing. So maybe since they both liked to sing Rachel was okay to talk to.

"Cause Mommy and Nana didn't fight before she came."

"And you think Mommy and Nana are fighting?"

"I know they are."

"Do you know why they were fighting?"

"No."

Rachel looked around, trying to find any sign of the other three women without moving. She couldn't see or hear anything, and she didn't want to leave Lucy when the girl seemed so upset. Rachel shook her head and decided to figure out why exactly Lucy seemed to think Fran and Judy were fighting, and how it was her girlfriend's fault.

"Lucy, do you think you can tell me why you think they were fighting?"

"I just thought Mommy was sad. But then Mommy yelled at Nana. And they were both crying."

"So this is Aunt Quinn's fault?"

"Yes. And she's going to make them go away now."

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"Daddy and Mommy would fight, and then she would cry, and now Daddy's gone."

"Oh sweetie, that has…"

"That wasn't Daddy's fault. And Nana isn't going anywhere."

Rachel bit back a sigh of relief as she looked over her shoulder at three sets of red-rimmed eyes. While she couldn't quite grasp the small girl's logic, she'd definitely been accurate when she said that her mommy and nana were crying. And apparently so was her aunt. Fran scooped her daughter up and promised her some hot chocolate if she'd come and talk with her. Rachel nodded her head to Judy who excused herself to go get cleaned up.

"I fall asleep for an hour or two and wake up to an angry, hurt, little girl, and three crying women." Rachel sighed and shook her head as she looked away from Quinn's amused smirk. She slid her fingers through Pete's soft hair, finding it a habit that was hard to break. "If we ever have children, I demand they all be boys."

Quinn laughed and sat down next to Rachel, draping her arm over the woman's shoulder as Rachel continued to watch the sleeping child next to her.

"Is everything okay?" She asked when she finally lifted her eyes. She could see the tear tracks still painting Quinn's cheeks, but saw a peace in her eyes that made Rachel's heart skip a beat.

"No. But it will be." If her heart had skipped a beat before, the smile that Quinn gave her at that moment made it absolutely stop. "I love you Rachel Berry."

"And I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray."

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><p><strong>That ended up being way, way more emotional and a LOT longer than I originally planned. I need a little input. Due to the length of this chapter, I am thinking about to skipping Rachel and Quinn's Christmas celebration and head right on to NYC and New Years. <em>Unless<em> you all really, really want to see their first Christmas together. Please let me know in the reviews or in a private message! And thank you to all the amazing people out there who have reviewed, followed, and favorite for sticking with me so far! If I haven't responded back to you yet, I'm sorry and I will try to get to all your reviews tomorrow! Have a great week everyone :)**


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